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Podcast: Talking Family Size with Three Moms

Amber on January 27, 2012 Leave a Comment

How do you know when you’re “done” having kids? It’s a question I’ve been grappling with since about 20 minutes after my son Jacob was born. He was my second, and my husband was quite convinced that with one girl and one boy, our family was complete. I wasn’t. The babylust is strong in me. I know moms who have a very strong feeling that their family is complete, but I’m just not there. There may be many rational reasons to shut down the baby factory, but biology doesn’t always respond to reason, and so the desire to procreate remains.

Stephanie

I decided that a discussion about how moms decide that their families are complete would make for an excellent podcast. I knew that I couldn’t interview just one person, though. The decision is too individual for that. So I decided to speak to a few mothers who are “done” having kids, to get their perspectives. And so, this week in the podcast I’m bringing you interviews with three mothers:

Stephanie of Adventures in Babywearing – Stephanie has four children. Her youngest, Ivy, is just one month younger than my son Jacob. While she hasn’t completely shut the door on the possibility of having more kids in the future, for the time being she believes that she’s “done”.
Allison the Bibliomama – Like me, Allison has two kids, one boy and one girl. Like me, Allison still feels babylust. But with her younger child about to turn nine, she’s decided that she won’t be fulfilling that urge. Allison’s situation is closest to mine, and so I really wanted to hear her thoughts.

Allison

Amanda, a.k.a. pomomama – Amanda has one child, and feels emphatically done. Her husband has had a vasectomy, and any babylust is gone. I remember feeling quite done when my own first child was a toddler with an extremely healthy set of lungs, but things changed for me. They didn’t for Amanda, and she’s enjoying having just one older child.

Before I share the podcast, I’d like to acknowledge something. I know not every family comes about as the result of a heterosexual couple conceiving without assistance. I also know not every pregnancy is planned. Deciding to conceive a child, or deciding not to conceive a child, is no guarantee of any outcome. However, for the purposes of this podcast, I decided to focus on people who were making decisions around family size, knowing that they likely could become pregnant with relative ease if they chose to. Since I’m trying to make a decision based on the assumption that if I wanted to get pregnant I could, it seemed most fair to talk to people in a similar situation.

Amanda

I had a really good time speaking with Stephanie, Allison and Amanda. It was a fun change for me to include multiple interviews in a single podcast, and I loved gathering all the different perspective. While I didn’t have any startling revelations about my own family size as I spoke with these other moms, it was good to hear how they made their own decisions. If you’ve ever wrestled with the question of whether or not to have another baby, or you just want to hear how other people reached their own conclusions, I think you’ll enjoy this one. Listen here:

Interview with Three Moms About Family Size [ 36:07 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Next week on the podcast I’ll be talking to Suzanne Bertani of Green Planet Parties. We’ll be talking about choosing sustainable, safe products, making environmentally-friendly choices, and what inspires her as a small business owner. Suzanne has a really great energy, and I enjoyed speaking with her immensely. Subscribe to the Strocel.com podcast in iTunes, and you won’t miss a minute!

Tagged With: Interview, Parenting, Podcast, Pregnancy

Letting Go of What Isn’t Working

Amber on January 26, 2012 4 Comments

It’s Thursday, so I’m Crafting my Life! If you’d like to craft your life, too, and find a greater sense of purpose, sign up for the Crafting my Life Online Class, which starts SOON. Or, enter my giveaway and win a free registration. Get ready to do something for yourself, because you deserve it!

Last week, I told you that I’d discovered my mission in life – or at least my mission in life right now. And here it is:

My mission in life is to help other mothers live happier, more fulfilled lives.

This really resonates with me because it takes a lot of things that I am doing already, like my volunteer work, my job with VancouverMom.ca, my writing here at Strocel.com, my book dream and the online tools I create for Crafting my Life, and unifies them with a single statement. In many different ways, big and small, paid and unpaid, I am helping other moms live happier, more fulfilled lives. What could be better? Nothing, that’s what.

I don’t think that everyone needs a mission they can easily define in a single sentence. You can do amazing, meaningful and important things without one. But speaking purely for myself, I’ve found having that sentence helpful. It’s brought me greater clarity, and helped me set better priorities and goals. Since I’m a planner at heart, I really groove on this renewed sense of purpose, and I’m making all kinds of plans. But if I’m going to turn those plans into action, I need to free up some space, which means I need to let go of the stuff that isn’t working for me.

There are two things about letting go that I do not enjoy:

Letting go is emotionally difficult.
Letting go takes time and effort.

Image credit – Andrew Mitchell on Flickr

There are things in my life that aren’t really working for me, and that don’t help me further my mission, and I can identify them. But I’m invested in them all the same. In some cases, I’ve agreed to do something for someone else, and I don’t want to leave them in the lurch. In other cases, in order to let go of a task I need to put in some work to shut it down or prepare it for hand-off, and it’s hard to find time to do that. On top of that, there are my dragons who start telling me stories about how if I let go of something it will mean I’m a big quitter.

Invigorated by my mission, I’m ignoring my dragons, putting in the work to get things organized and learning how to gracefully step out of commitments that are getting in the way of the work I should be doing. The work I need to be doing. It’s isn’t easy, though, and as I face down a task I need to finish before I can let go, I have to force myself to swallow that frog. Who wants to spend a whole bunch of time working on something that doesn’t further your purpose, when you could be doing something that you enjoy? No one. But sometimes you need to put in a little bit of effort now to save work in the long run, so I’m doing it and having faith that it will pay off.

There is an upside to the hard-ness of letting go, and it’s the feeling of relief. When I hand off something that’s been weighing me down, I feel a bit of a rush. Doing something that isn’t working for you takes up a lot of energy. Letting go of it frees up all that energy for something more fulfilling and purposeful. With every little thing I let go, my hope is renewed. I can see that there is a light on the horizon, and that while it isn’t easy, it is worthwhile.

I have spent a lot of my life proving my worth (mostly to myself) by being useful. The problem is that I didn’t consider what was useful for myself, I mostly considered what was useful for others. Now I see that if I really want to be helpful, I should take on tasks that help me further my own mission. This way everyone wins, because I’m giving my best self and doing my best work, and I feel a sense of purpose. So I persist in this beginning phase, shedding my old skin, and enduring the discomfort it brings. It lets me know that there is a brighter day ahead.

Do you find it easy to let go of things that aren’t working for you, or do you struggle with the hard-ness of it? I’d love to hear your thoughts on how you clear out space to pursue a greater sense of purpose and authenticity.

Tagged With: Crafting my Life

Me and My Skin

Amber on January 25, 2012 11 Comments

I have always had a tenuous relationship with my skin, at best. I am naturally blond and pale, which means that I sunburn easily. I can spend two weeks in Hawaii, and when I get back people ask me if I hid in my hotel room. To my constant chagrin as a teenager I just don’t tan – or at least not enough that someone who can’t see me naked would notice. (When I’m naked, my tan lines show, and there is some visible contrast.) On top of that, I’ve been prone to break-outs since I was about 10 years old. I remember getting my first pimple. I was in grade four. No one else in my class knew what they were. I was such a trailblazer.

I expected that my skin would clear up when I left my teens behind. It didn’t. I used all sorts of products, which promised all sorts of results, and nothing really worked. I visited a dermatologist one time when I was about 20 because I had a mole that I was concerned about, and she prescribed me something for my face. It worked reasonably well, but then I moved and I didn’t refill the prescription. Plus, Jon complained that it made my face smell bad. In retrospect, it was an antibacterial cream and I’m pretty sure that it contained triclosan, so I’m glad I stopped using it.

When I was pregnant with Hannah, my skin was at its hormonal worst. I never would have posted this photo without running it through Photoshop first. In fact, it’s seven years later and even today I don’t really want to post this photo, but I’m doing it. This was me:

Pregnant with Hannah, Dealing with a Breakout

More than five years ago I started washing my face with honey. It was the first thing that really helped to clear up my skin. It wasn’t perfect, not by a long shot. But I think its relative gentleness, coupled with its natural antibacterial and exfoliating properties, helped to calm my skin down. This is when I discovered that the answer wasn’t to beat my skin into submission, it was to treat it with respect. Piling chemicals on it only dried it out and irritated it more, exacerbating the break-outs. Honey was my first answer.

This fall I went gluten-free in an extremely round-about and backward manner. One of the things that sold me on giving up wheat was the fact that I saw a noticeable improvement in my skin. Once again, it wasn’t what you would call an instant miracle cure, but just one more thing that seemed to help. It was also a relatively convincing sign that giving up gluten made a difference. I could be imagining that my digestion is better, and the fact that eating wheat now makes me feel pretty bad could all be in my head. But my skin? If believing that I’d found the answer was enough to stop the breakouts, my first bottle of anti-acne face wash would have done the trick back in 1987.

A week and a half ago another piece fell into place, skin-wise. I had a coupon for a free facial, and after evaluating my skin the esthetician decided to apply a hydrating mask. This was exactly the opposite of what I expected, given my skin’s tendency to oiliness. She believed that applying moisturizer could curtail that, since my skin wouldn’t be working overtime to counteract any dryness. After the facial my skin felt really good, and it looked really good, too. I decided that maybe she had a point about the moisturizer, and I decided to take a page from every other hippie mama and try coconut oil. I’m only a week and a bit in, but I’m quite happy with the results. One more pillar in my skin-care regimen, one more step forward for my face.

My skin today

Is my skin perfect? No. It’s still sensitive, and prone to redness. It can be more than a little blotchy, too, which just comes with the territory when you’re as light-skinned as I am. If I treat it badly, it will show it. But I’m finally making my peace with it, and learning to treat it gently. I’ll never have perfect skin, but I can accept my skin for what it is, and make the most of it, putting my best face forward.

What’s your skin like? How has your relationship with it evolved? And what does your skin-care regimen look like? I’d love to hear!

Tagged With: Enviro-Mommy, Navel Gazing

The Other Half of the Story

Amber on January 24, 2012 2 Comments

My son Jacob is nearing the halfway point of his fourth year, which is really just a fancy way of saying that he’s almost three and a half. At this age, he’s making big leaps in terms of expressing himself. His words are getting clearer, his sentences are getting longer and the ideas he’s sharing are more complex. Six months ago he rendered verdicts like, “No like it da fwoot!” Today he’s more likely to say, “Mama, mama-mama-mama-mama, I don’t like it, mama. Because, because, because this fruit is not good. Can I have an apple. Please, mama? I like apples.”

One of the side effects of Jacob’s burgeoning language skills is that I hear a lot of stories. The stories come from all sorts of places – things that happened at school, events that transpired in the other room while I was cleaning the kitchen, things he saw on TV, stuff his father said to him and even dreams he had. He’s like a little reporter, constantly filling me in on the who, what, where and when. He’s a little weak on the why and how, but he’s working on it. He tells me which friend took all the little cars and didn’t share, and which teacher he reported the infraction to. He tells me that he went on an adventure, and that he’s being a dinosaur right now. For the longest time he couldn’t get a word in edgewise past his big sister, but more and more this kid is holding his own.

There’s a thing about stories from almost-three-and-a-half-year-olds, though: they always leave you hanging. You hear about the friend who snatched the cars, and you hear that he told a teacher, but you never hear what happened next. You can go ahead and ask what happened next, but somehow the answer is never quite clear. You may go so far as to provide possible outcomes, like, “Did the teacher help you work it out?” Then your child will nod, and you know full well he would have nodded if you’d asked, “Did the teacher feed your friend to a tiger to serve as a cautionary tale against anyone who would consider snatching a toy in the future?”

Jacob dreams of the day he’s big enough to take off on his own

Because Jacob is not so good at finishing his stories, I go through my life with all these little unfinished thoughts from my son. He compiles lists of wrongdoings, reports of missing toys, and plot synopses from the Backyardigans. He gives you just enough to make you want more, and then stops cold, and no amount of prodding will reveal the actual outcome. You’re always left wondering exactly how it all worked out, as he stares blankly back. Blink. Blink blink blink. Can I have a cookie?

It’s interesting to gain this view of your child’s inner life. This half-completed story from the little person you spend so much time with. It reminds me that while I am still a very big part of Jacob’s life, with every passing day he’s claiming more and more of his story for himself. I only hear half of it, wondering what exactly he meant, and how it all worked out. Just where did he go on his adventure? Did he like it? Did he think of me? And how many times has he been the toy-snatcher, but not told me?

Because I have an older child, I know that Jacob isn’t going anywhere yet. He’s not even three and a half years old, for crying out loud. I also know that he will get better and better at finishing his stories. One day I will have more details than I could possibly want. Instead of wondering what happened next, I’ll be wondering what he’s telling other people about me when I’m not around, if he’s sharing this tidbit about his friend’s mom with me. So for now I’m enjoying the half stories. And I’m wondering if his teacher really did feed the toy-snatcher to a tiger.

Tagged With: Navel Gazing, Parenting

Joining Forces and Resolving to Fight Climate Change

Amber on January 23, 2012 15 Comments

Climate change is one of the most pressing issues facing the world today. In fact, it may be the most pressing issue. As the evidence mounts, and the scientific community reaches a strong consensus that our actions are affecting the average temperature of the planet we live on, we can no longer turn a blind eye to the reality of what’s happening. The time has come to act. This is why, for the month of January, the Green Moms Carnival has decided to join our voices together to speak out and share what we’re doing to fight climate change.

When we’re faced with these big, overwhelming issues, it’s easy to feel paralyzed. That’s why it’s so important to join with others. When we all do what we can, it begins to add up, and really make a difference. Since it’s still January, we’re all sharing what we’re doing to fight climate change and reduce our own carbon footprints in 2012. Maybe, as you read what the Green Moms are doing, you’ll be inspired to make some changes of your own, too.

Food and Carbon Footprint

Linda at Citizen Green has resolved to Cut Out the Food Waste in 2012. She’s meal-planning, buying in bulk, composting and using leftovers, in order to reduce her carbon footprint. Did you know that 25% of the food grown in the US ends up getting thrown out? If you want to tackle your own food waste, read Linda’s post for tips.

Beth at My Plastic Free Life is trying out Recipes for the Semi-Vegan, Plastic-Free Lifestyle. By reducing her consumption of animal products, and avoiding plastic packaging, Beth is reducing the carbon footprint of her food and fighting climate change.

Abbie, a.k.a. Farmer’s Daughter, is sharing Five Ways to Reduce Your Carbon Footprint by Choosing Real Food. Instead of opting for packaged and processed food, she’s cooking from scratch. Fewer food miles and less packaging are just two of the ways her choice is fighting climate change.

Deanna Duke, author of The Non-Toxic Avenger and blogger at Crunchy Chicken, has some lofty Urban Homestead Goals for 2012. She’s going in on a pig share, raising meat rabbits and joining a honey CSA, among other things. In the process she’ll reduce her food miles, and her carbon footprint.

Brenna at Almost all the Truth is also making food-based Resolutions to Fight Climate Change. She suggests reducing the amount of animal products you consume by observing Meatless Monday or Vegan Thursday, and reducing your food miles by eating local. Both will reduce your carbon footprint.

Image credit – tarsandsaction on Flickr

Getting Political for the Planet

Mary of In Women we Trust is making a Business Climate Change Resolution. She’s working hard to create real change. My favourite part is when she writes, “I resolve to stop referring to our business leaders as ‘leaders’ unless they truly are taking a leadership position.” Preach it, sister.

I didn’t write a post of my own for this carnival, but my resolution is to take more political action to fight climate change. For me this means writing letters, using my voice here on this blog and elsewhere, and joining groups that are fighting climate change. I want to make sure my elected representatives know how I feel.

Diane at Big Green Purse suggests Making a Big Hairy Audacious Green Goal for 2012. This is something significant and measurable. Her One in a Million campaign is urging people to shift $1000 of their annual spending to greener products and services. That sounds both audacious and awesome to me!

Harriet the Climate Mama is Fighting Climate Change with Facts in 2012. She’ll be speaking out, leading by example, and even testifying before Congress. Harriet protested in front of the White House against the Keystone Pipeline in 2011, so she’s already been making herself heard and taking political action to fight climate change.

In fact, Lynn at Organic Mania watched Harriet as she was arrested, and her post about Resolving to Fight Climate Change shares the account. She reminds us that together, we can accomplish so much.

Lisa at Retro Housewife Goes Green is making Green Resolutions for 2012. She’s been very vocal in her home community, working to promote local recycling and bringing awareness to cement kiln pollution. Her advocacy work is not only fighting climate change, it’s helping to protect the health of her neighbours, too.

Being Mindful

It’s probably no surprise that Micaela the Mindful Momma is writing about Being Mindful. She’s taking care of the planet, her community, her family’s health and herself. She’s trying to create a green and healthy life, which will certainly reduce her carbon footprint.

Karen at Best of Mother Earth is also making Resolutions to Fight Climate Change that involve being more mindful. She’s championing pause and choice, saying, “A lifestyle of less is more. In the end this produces less waste and we are healthier!” I agree.

Jenn of The Green Parent is making New Year’s Resolutions for 2012 that involve mindfulness, as well, including listening more and holding the guilt. She’s also planning to spend more time on Facebook, connecting with other green moms. Community is so important!

Image credit – Jacob & Kiki Hantla on Flickr

Resolving to Fight Climate Change

Stephanie at Good Girl Gone Green has tips for Reducing Your Carbon Car Print. The time we spend driving plays a big part in how much carbon we emit, and she has ideas for cutting back. For example, by keeping your car serviced and reducing your idling time, you can help fight climate change.

Jen at Puddle Jumping in DC has a novel idea – Green Your Cycle with Reusable Menstrual Products. Cloth pads and menstrual cups are actually easier to use than you might think. I’ve been using them for years myself, and I’m a convert.

Lori at Groovy Green Livin’ is sharing Four Resolutions to Fight Climate Change. From choosing zero VOC paint in a renovation to getting a home energy audit, she’s working hard to reduce her carbon footprint.

Betsy the Eco-novice has made five Climate Change Resolutions. She’s cancelling catalogues, turning off power strips and more, in order to reduce her personal carbon footprint.

The bloggers at The Green Phone Booth are also joining forces and Changing for Climate Change. Their resolutions range from being sure to remember reusable bags at the grocery store to reducing energy use to moving from environmentalism to activism. Once again, working together reaps big rewards for the planet.

As you can see, fighting climate change can involve taking small private steps to big political actions. It doesn’t matter so much what you do, though. What really matters is that you do something. Take a look at your life, and see what steps you can take to reduce your carbon footprint and fight climate change. The time has come to stand up, speak out, and act – if not for ourselves, then for our children.

How are you fighting climate change in 2012?

Tagged With: Bloggy McBloggerson, Enviro-Mommy, Politics

Podcast: Anna Hackman of Green Talk

Amber on January 20, 2012 4 Comments

One of the things that I’ve learned since I started the Strocel.com Podcast is just how many great stories are out there. You don’t have to be famous or have a Nobel Prize in order to be interesting, passionate and engaging. In fact, there are probably some amazing stories in the people you come into contact with every day, and in the normal small talk of life you never get to hear them. It has been an amazing privilege to hear them through my podcast, and also to share them with you.

Today I’m sharing an interview I did with Anna Hackman, who blogs at Green Talk. She’s a fellow member of the Green Moms Carnival, a mom of four, a lawyer, a sustainability consultant, an organic gardener and a green building expert. You can catch up with her on her website, Green Talk. Before I spoke with Anna, I honestly wasn’t sure that I found green building all that exciting. Anna got me, though. She shared her story, and her passion, and I was hooked. This is what I’m talking about when I say that I love podcasting.

If you’ve ever considered building your own home, you’re undergoing home renovations, or even just re-decorating your living room, Anna’s your girl. She can tell you how to save money by making your home energy-efficient, how to pick non-toxic furniture and paint, and just what is amazing about a geothermal system. And in the process, she will get you all fired up, too. Plus, she’s got the chops. Anna is a LEED Accredited Professional, which means that she knows a whole lot more about green building than me, and probably most other people, too.

If you want some ideas about how to make your own home more energy-efficient and environmentally-friendly, or you’d just like to listen to some great stories from a person living her passion, you should listen to our interview. It’s a long one, but it’s worth taking the time for:

Interview with Anna Hackman, Blogger, Mom and Green Building Expert [ 42:23 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

As I mentioned, Anna and I are both members of the Green Moms Carnival. One of the things that we do is run a monthly blog carnival on a set topic. This month’s topic is “Resolutions for Reducing Your Carbon Footprint” and I’m hosting it here at Strocel.com on Monday, January 23. If this sounds like something you’d like to take part in, you’re welcome to submit a post by the end of the day on January 21. Just publish it on your blog, and drop me a line with the link. We’d love to add your voice to those writing on behalf of the planet!

Next week on the podcast I’ll be talking about having kids, and how you know when you’re “done”. I’m departing from my usual format, and talking to three different moms – Stephanie from Adventures in Babywearing, Allison from Bibliomama, and Amanda from pomomama. They all have a unique perspective to share, plus I’ll be weighing in with some thoughts of my own. I’m going all out on this one. Subscribe to the Strocel.com podcast in iTunes, and you won’t miss a minute!

Tagged With: Enviro-Mommy, Home Improvement, Interview, Podcast

My Mission in Life

Amber on January 19, 2012 7 Comments

It’s Thursday, so I’m Crafting my Life! If you’d like to craft your life, too, and find a greater sense of purpose, subscribe to my mail list. You’ll be eligible for advance discount registration for the Crafting my Life Online Class, which is happening NOW. Spend 12 weeks doing something for yourself!

Does Everyone Have a Calling?

Last June I gave a talk, examining whether or not everyone has a calling – or mission – in life. At the time, I said this:

I’m feeling some pressure now to figure out what my calling is. But the truth is that if I have a calling, I’m not sure I’ve found it yet.

I also said this:

Whether you feel that you have a specific task to fulfill in this life or not, and no matter your personal beliefs, by pursuing justice, love and compassion, both for yourself and the world at large, you can find purpose and meaning. And out of that sense of purpose you may just find your passion – and dare I say it? – your calling. Maybe not all at once in a blinding flash of insight, but gradually, and without even noticing.

And this:

As I go look back on what I’ve done and where I’ve been, a pattern of strengths and weaknesses, passions and life lessons, relationships and opportunities, starts to emerge. It doesn’t necessarily provide that blinding flash of insight, but it can show me purpose and meaning that I didn’t know was there as I lived it.

Uncovering my Mission

This weekend, I had a moment of realization about what my mission in life really is. I do lots of things that I enjoy, but I’ve always separated them in my mind. Crafting my Life, with its online class an playbook, is in one slot. VancouverMom.ca, where I’m connecting local moms to their city and the great things it contains, is in another slot. Strocel.com, where I share my musings and build community, is in another still. There are slots for my volunteer work, my book dream, and the time I spend doing nothing in particular.

When I take all of those separate things out of their slots and line them up, though, a pattern starts to emerge. And what I see is that I have a strong desire to help other moms live happier, more fulfilled lives. That’s what I’m pretty much always doing. More than that, it’s what resonates with me most deeply. It’s my soul work. Whether I make money at it or not, whether anyone else knows what I’m doing or not, I feel like if I can make just one mom’s life a little bit easier because I was there at the right moment, I’ve fulfilled my mission.

I spent years searching for my mission in life, and not finding it. I suspect that I was looking in the wrong place all along. I was waiting for a big, blinding flash of insight, that would cause the hair on the back of my neck to stand up. I thought it would be something entirely new, that I just somehow hadn’t considered before, but that suddenly seemed so perfectly right. But maybe that’s not how it works at all.

Start with What You Know … and be Ready to Adapt

Maybe, when you’re searching for your mission in life, you need to start with what you know. Consider all the things you do, and why you do them. Think about the dreams you have – the ones that make you tingle a little – and then ask yourself why you feel that way about them. What is the underlying motivation that you already have? What can that tell you about what you’re meant to do? I think there are more answers there than in sitting around, waiting for inspiration to hit like a bolt from the blue.

For 2012 I chose the word clarity. My recent epiphany about my mission has gotten me off to a great start. I feel like I have a better understanding of what I need to do, and how I need to do it. When projects come my way, I can consider how they fit into my mission, and make better decisions. Of course, not everything that I do will involve making mom’s lives happier and more fulfilled. Sometimes you just have to scrub a toilet. But I feel like knowing what my mission is helps me live with greater clarity.

I’m not sure if my mission will always be the same. Maybe not. Maybe that’s another misconception about missions. We don’t all have just one that lasts forever. The challenge, therefore, isn’t to figure out that single thing you were meant to do in life. It’s to uncover what’s driving you, and what resonates with you, right now. Then set about doing it. When you’re finished, then you can move on to the next thing, and the one after that, knowing you fulfilled your mission.

I wonder what you think. Do you think that everyone has a mission in life, whether they know it or not? Do you feel like you know what your mission is? And do you think that someone’s mission can change as they change? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Tagged With: Crafting my Life, Navel Gazing

Tea Stash: The Showdown

Amber on January 18, 2012 14 Comments

Last week I issued a challenge: I asked me to show me your tea stash. Now, the day of reckoning has arrived, and the question of who has the most tea will be answered. I know it’s not me, because I’ve already seen at least tea stash that’s bigger([cough] Kelly [cough]). But I did promise to show you my stash, so whether it measures up or not, I will display it proudly.

So, how does me stash stack up? Just over a year ago I had 17 kinds of tea in my collection. As of today, I have 19 different kinds of tea in my collection – and that’s after I did some serious trimming. There are seven full-octane teas, nine types of herbal tea, one decaffienated tea (I actually bought that one by accident), and one assorted mix with both. So, what do 19 different teas look like, when they’re not all crammed into a drawer? This:

While I buy a lot of tea, and I do enjoy the occasional cup, the truth is that I am not a hard-core tea drinker. This is why I end up with so many boxes, tins and bags in my cupboard, and it presents something of a conundrum. I recently found a solution: iced tea. I brew a big pot, add a bit of honey, and let it chill. My kids – not usually big tea drinkers – really enjoy it. I kind of prefer it, too, because you only have to make it once, and you can enjoy it for days. Plus, it harkens back to my youth, when I used to carry herbal tea to school in my thermos. By the time I drank it, it was only ever lukewarm. Retro iced tea.

(By the way, in case you were wondering, carrying herbal tea to school in a thermos is just one of many signs that I was raised by hippies.)

As I had my stash all laid out on the counter, my son Jacob got in on the counting fun:

Now I’ve shown you mine, which means it’s time for you to show me yours. What does your stash look like? How many different kinds of tea do you have? I want to know!

If you’ve written a post, please include it in my link-up. Everyone who adds their post before 9:00pm Pacific time on Friday, January 20 will be entered into a draw. I’ll buy the winner a box of tea, on me. I may even ask about the winner’s preferences, so that I can be sure to choose something that will be appreciated. As I mentioned in my post last week, I’m not being sponsored in any way, I just want to share the tea love. I hope you’ll play along and share the love, too.

Now, what are you waiting for? Show me your (tea) stash!

Tagged With: Bloggy McBloggerson, Tea

Siblings, Spoons and Spa Dates

Amber on January 17, 2012 4 Comments

There’s a scene that plays out in my home on a regular basis. My children are playing happily, either together or by themselves. I am doing something else entirely. Everyone is content. But then, one child, pulled by some invisible force, comes over to me and makes a connection. The other child looks up abruptly, and comes running over to me, wedging themselves between me and the first child. The first child starts pushing up against the second child. Mayhem – and sibling rivalry – ensues.

Eventually, I put myself between them, and tell them that there’s enough of me to go around. I pull them both onto my lap, one on each leg. For a time, they’re content, and so am I, embracing both of my children in peace. But then someone’s hand crosses the invisible line down my middle, and the jostling starts once again, each one competing to take up the most real estate on my physical self. The fact that I do not enjoy this game is immaterial. They will play it, each one bent on winning.

To distract them, I stand up and offer a snack. “Yes! Yes!” they agree, eagerly racing off to the kitchen. They climb up on their stools, and I spoon yogurt into bowls. I try to keep the yogurt amounts even, because I have a sister, and I know how it works. But no matter how hard I try, differences are perceived, and conclusions are drawn. “Nooooo! I need more!” “How come he gets the same as me? I’m bigger!” “I don’t like this spoon! I want that spoon!” “Mom, he took my spoon!”

I have to fight my urge not to take all the spoons away, and just hide them somewhere. Maybe if they had no spoons, they’d learn to be grateful, instead of always complaining about perceived inequities. And even as I realize that this idea is both impractical and childish, I smile at the picture in my head. I see myself, running off down the street with a cutlery tray held high, yelling incoherent phrases about spoons and yogurt and why can’t they just get along for two minutes. I’m wearing a bathrobe and slippers, and there’s snow on the ground, and I’m making a stand that no one but an adult stuck between two battling siblings could understand.

They’re my spoons! I paid for them! Stop fighting over them or I won’t let you have them!

Of course, I don’t really do this. Instead, I try to be patient and understanding. I try to acknowledge everyone’s feelings and meet everyone’s needs – including my own. I keep the good chocolate for myself where the kids can’t find it, and make a point to look at my sleeping babies often, when they can’t yell about spoons and I can see their perfect sweetness. I could almost eat them up with a spoon. I wouldn’t even care what kind of spoon it was.

Yesterday, my friend and I went out together for lunch and a facial. We each had a free coupon for a local day spa. The afternoon was so, so lovely, and peaceful, and grown-up. As I was getting my facial, and the esthetician was massaging my face, she asked me about my kids. I gave a short, non-committal answer, but in my head I thought, “Shh, not here. I am here because I need someone to speak to me of anything but children. Even if they are the best thing since sliced bread.”

One day, I will miss these moments, when my children can’t get enough of me. I will miss being so adored that my every move is analyzed for proof that the love is returned. But until then, I have my hidden chocolate, a date with a friend for a little bit of pampering, and visions of myself in a bathrobe with a tray of spoons held high. It’s enough to see me through.

What sees you through, when you feel like running out into the street with your cutlery tray?

Cuppa Joe? No Thanks

Amber on January 16, 2012 13 Comments

I have this thing for candy canes. I know they’re not exactly good for me, since they’re full of artificial colours and flavours and sugar. I didn’t always like them, though. It wasn’t until I was 14 or 15 years old that I willed myself into liking them. I decided that it would be cool to be the sort of girl who ate candy canes, so I kept on eating them until I acquired the taste.

I’ve done the same thing many times. I didn’t always like cola, but around the same age I decided I should change that and after having a few cans of Coke, I did. I rarely drink it now (I probably average 3.5 cans per year), but there are times when it’s just what I want. I also gradually acquired a taste for wine, and strong cheese, and spicy food. I enjoy lots of things today that my eight-year-old self never would have consumed. This is why I try not to freak out if my kids are a little picky – I know they’ll probably outgrow it, just like I did.

There is, however, one taste that I have simply not been able to acquire: coffee. I’ve tried to drink it several times. When I was about 16 I thought it would be cool to drink coffee, but I could never get through a full cup. I remember trying to choke some down at a restaurant with a friend. I kept adding cream and sugar to it, trying to make it taste good, but it never did. Finally my friend said, “Give it to me, I’ll drink it.” She took one sip and promptly spat it out, declaring it more like hot coffee ice cream than actual coffee.

Image credit: Maxime Seguin on Flickr

When I was in university I tried, once again, to like coffee. I participated in an event called the Polar Plunge back in 1995. It was my first year in engineering school, and the other people on my floor in residence raised a bounty on me. The idea was that if I was willing to be thrown into the gross, freezing water of the pond on campus, the money would be donated to charity. I played along, because I’m cool like that. After it was over, and I was dressed again, I tried to drink a cup of coffee to warm up. I couldn’t finish it. It just tasted so much like … coffee.

Eventually, I made my peace with being a non-coffee drinker. I had an epiphany, in fact, when I realized that I didn’t have to teach myself to like it. Furthermore, by not drinking it, I was saving myself from becoming dependent on it. I watched my mom go through coffee withdrawal a couple of times, and it wasn’t pretty. Since I’ve never been a coffee drinker, I don’t need it to get going in the morning, and I don’t have to deal with any pangs if I can’t get it. In many ways, it simplifies my life.

Image credit: DavidD on Flickr

I will admit, though, that there are certain times when I think that maybe I should try to drink coffee once again. Those mornings that come all too soon after a long night with a sick kid. In the Vancouver Airport at 6:00am, waiting to board my plane to San Diego for BlogHer. At Starbucks watching all the other patrons with their fancy coffees topped with whipped cream and caramel swirls and chocolate shavings. I wonder if I couldn’t hack it when I was younger because I didn’t have the stomach I do now. I start to think that maybe I have something to prove. Surely if I put my mind to it, I could make myself like coffee! But then the moment passes, and I get over it.

I’ve acquired many tastes in my lifetime. I may still acquire many more. But I doubt that coffee will be one of them.

Any other non-coffee-drinkers out there? If you drink coffee, what spurred you to start? And what was your first reaction when trying coffee? I’d love to hear!

PS – I may not drink coffee, but I drink a lot of tea, and my tea cupboard shows it! I want to see yours, too. Write a blog post on or before January 18, come here to link-up, and show me your tea stash.