As of February 13 Jacob is officially 18 months old. In my mind, 18 months marks the transition from baby to toddler, from a largely malleable and compliant kid into a strong-willed person with definite ideas of their own. I saw that with Hannah, and I’m seeing it now with Jacob. More and more his cries are angry cries because I removed a dangerous object from his hands, instead of hurt cries or sad cries. More and more he ‘tells’ us what his preferences and interests are.
Jacob playing with his dad’s old hockey stick
Jacob loves high places. He’s engaged in an all-consuming pursuit of increased vertical ground. It’s impressive, but it wears me down after a while. I can only fish the kid off of so many piano shelves before I lose my ever-loving mind, you know? Yesterday I fetched Jacob off of our dining room table, the back of chair in our living room, my desk, the bookshelf beside my desk and the kitchen island. Word to the wise – you have to consider the potential messiness of foods in a new way once your kid can reach the counter from his stepstool. He used to stand nicely and eat his cereal, but now he gets up and dances in his cereal. Then he surveys the mess and beams with pride.
The aftermath of Jacob dancing in his cereal
Jacob’s favourite things have buttons and knobs. If he can push a button or switch and make something happen he is in his element. He frantically points and yells, “Dee! Dee! Dee!” when he sees ATM machines, crosswalk buttons, light switches, telephones or remote controls. He can open and turn on my laptop, open the sliding door on a CD / DVD player and flush the toilet. The last one, flushing the toilet, I particularly worry about. Thank heavens he’s not yet tall enough to reach a door knob.
I love Jacob’s cheesy grin
Jacob is very physical, and really interested in how things work and how they fit together. He can also climb and throw and kick. He is not, so far, very verbal. He has maybe 2 or 3 words he uses regularly, and 4 or 5 baby signs. He does love to be read to, and is generally able to make his desires known through a combination of noises and gestures, but I can’t understand what he’s saying. I frequently remind myself that children all develop in their own time. Jacob is very social and outgoing, he’s just more of a watcher than a talker. Or maybe between Hannah and I he just can’t get a word in edgewise.
Jacob napping at 3 months old
Looking at Jacob, I see less and less of the baby he was every day. I feel so wistful about it. I wish I could press the pause button for a while with this kid, and soak up what’s left of his little fingers and toes and funny smiles and open-mouthed slobbery kisses while they last. It’s all enough to make me want another baby something fierce. Although maybe I should wait until the temper tantrums start and see how I feel before running off and making any big decisions. 
Tell me, did you know when you were done having babies? Or do you always miss it, just a little?
done!
done on one – loved it, think fondly of it but totally done with the baby thing (he was, shall i say, unchallenging and bit boring as a baby. he was very mellow too which helped seal the fate as far as more babies were concerned) – right now is far more interesting and interactive, he is his own little person-in-motion and far better company. he’s a challenge but a reactive, commentary-laden challenge.
definitely done! i’ll continue enjoying this one.
I often think about that. I do want another one, and could even think about having one now. But after we’ve had 2, will I be done? Wanting more or just wanting to hold a baby are two different things. My neighbor found her happy medium and is now taking care of 3-8 month babies in her home. Her daughters are 10 and 6 years old. Having to babysit part time has helped her fill her baby cravings.
.-= Sara´s last post ..Another LONG week =-.
Ahhhh…that elusive question. Any more babies in your future?
Well, I just disposed of ALL my baby clothes excpet for a few cherished items. We still have the furniture since Amelia is still using it. It felt a little “final” when I was dumping all the clothes into bags to be taken to a woman’s shelter. But nothing is final yet. Even though we have hellish days dealing with the girls and even though Mike is the one dealing with those days most of the time right now HE is the one who occasionally mentions maybe having a third.
For now, I am content with 2. We’ll possibly have a chat once Amelia is 2. So much will depend on our financial position since another baby means definitely a new car, maybe a new house with more bedrooms…
.-= Carrie´s last post ..The Magic of The Flame =-.
I love the 18-21 month age (aside from the climbing challenges — yesterday I rescued my daughter from the top of the piano). I am starting to get wistful about the baby/young toddler stage being over, but I also recognize my limitations and know that we are done having children. I’d never say never, but I have given away all the maternity clothes and outgrown baby clothes.
.-= Angela White´s last post ..Dr. Hale to Launch InfantRisk Center =-.
My daughter is right behind Jacob in age so she’s doing pretty much everything he is. I’m actually quite glad to hear that he doesn’t have too many words yet as I was wondering (not worrying yet) about Em’s lack of vocab.
I knew I wasn’t going to have any more kids after Em, but then my pregnancies were rough. I had to have a planned c-section and so I opted for a tubal ligation at the same time. Even though I know I can never have any more kids, I still get a little whimsical at the thought that my baby is really my last.
If my body could have managed it I probably would of wanted three but since neither my body nor my husband agree I have to be happy with my two monkeys.
.-= Marilyn @ A Lot of Loves´s last post ..Battle of the Toy Stroller =-.
I am sooooo done. I don`t miss the baby or toddler stage at all. I love cuddling my friends babies and that is good enough for me. I am thrilled to have been out of diapers for over a year, and have had to carry a diaper bag or push a stroller since I don`t know when. The time is coming closer to school and then more independance for all three of us!
I love being a mom more than anything. But, I am just as excited to have young children as I was to have a baby. I am not looking back wistfully on their baby days because their children days are keeping me too busy.
I do wish we had a bigger family. I always wanted four or more children. But, the two I have are more than enough for me. Both my Hannah and Emma were like Jacob and they were and are doing crazy things right at the same time. It has been a constant adrenalin rush since I have had them. And honestly, I have been enjoying calmer days and more to come.
Hollis was a big watcher/small talker/big communicator until he was 26 months old and I told myself the same things re: kids developing at different rates. And it’s true. Unless there’s a real developmental hitch most kids get there one way or another and we usually know right away if there is anything off the beaten path. If he weren’t communicating at all, for instance, I would have been very worried, but that wasn’t the case.
Sounds like my Hollis and your Jacob are “like this” in the development track
And as far as having more kids? Oh how I want more! Sooo many more. But we’ll see. Life’s funny that way.
.-= Jessica – This is Worthwhile´s last post ..I didn’t buy a Corvette, but I did get a tattoo =-.
As soon as my second was born I swore I was done, gave away all my maternity clothes, and promised to commit to memory the feeling of how completely done I was. Having recently given birth helped with all that. Sleep-deprivation and the chaos of having 2 help too.
Now that my monkey is 17 months old (also a crazy climber!), I do feel a little wistful about not being pregnant or a mom to a baby anymore. I loved pregnancy, and caring for a baby is still how I most know myself as a mom, now that I’ve got the babywearing, breastfeeding, cosleeping thing all figured out.
I am also wistful about not having a girl. Very wistful. But that’s not a reason to have another. And I am quite sure I don’t want to go through labour again.
.-= macondo mama´s last post ..more yumminess, in case you missed it the first time =-.
Happy 18 months Jacob! I don’t miss the babyhood stages too much, and I was never too rational in my seeking and hoping for other babies. Three is a very nice number:)
.-= Francesca´s last post ..Introducing: Our new garden =-.
Noa and Jacob are peas in a pod…she also climbs everything and is a point-n-squealer/grunter rather than talker. I find it a bit of a learning game because her big brother was already making 3 word sentences at this point. Noa seems to think intonation is more important than phonetics at this point and still hasn’t even said Mama (though she says Daddy clear as a bell. harumph!)
As for being done, knowing you’re done or always missing it. Gosh, I wonder about that about 10 times every day. I really want a 3rd but my husband doesn’t. I’ve been holding out hope that he’ll change his mind but I think by the time Noa is 3 or so, I will be done then too. We went for a sunny walk yesterday and it was the first time really that both kids could walk, rather than be carried. I started to get that glimpse of what life will be like when babyhood is behind us. If we’re going to do it again, it has to be relatively soon. And if we don’t, YES, I will feel the rest of my life that I miss it. I am really not ready to be done.
.-= BluebirdMama aka @childbearing´s last post ..Trick of the Light =-.
I knew I was done while I was still pregnant with my last. It wasn’t a difficult pregnancy, but I just knew I didn’t want to do it ever again. The fact that my youngest was a very challenging baby and I was 33 when he was born sealed the deal. I’m pretty good at recognizing my limits and he was my limit! That said, I think every mom gets a little wistful for babies every now and then. A few of my friends are still in their baby-making years, so I get plenty of cuddle time without all that pesky responsibility! The pictures of Jacob are adorable, he looks like quite a sweet adventure.
.-= Earth Muffin´s last post ..Love, and a cough, cannot be hid. ~George Herbert, Jacula Prudentum, 1651 =-.
My youngest was a very slow talker – at least it felt that way to me. At eighteen months he only had a couple of words, although he did seem to comprehend pretty well. Now he’s almost 27 months old and a Talker with a capital “T”! Total change, guess he was just waiting until he was ready.
As for the end of the baby stage. I say between 18-24 months for sure. My baby just recently stopped sleeping in his crib. Made it hit home how grown up he’s getting. But I’m still sure I’m done having babies – good thing since DH already got snipped (at my insistence!) I hesitated and questioned whether we were done at two, and ultimately had a third. It’s harder-to me, it’s MUCH harder. I love them all but do sometimes think two was better for me!
Once we had the third, there was little doubt in my mind and I have had no baby pangs as of yet.
It has been my experience (with my own boys and nephews, cousins and others) that boys NEVER outgrow the obsession with buttons and knobs. We had to have a clear plastic sheild made for the on/off switch for our TV for fear that the constant off/on action would break the TV. The VCR, amps and other electronics had to be moved up MUCH higher to keep terrible things from constantly happening. Pushed in tweeters on the speakers, VCR full of toys, etc….
Keys in the toilet(an attempted flushing, but thankfully they were too heavy) but the toilet had to be pulled off to get out a batman figure, toothbrush and other plastic doo-dads that did make it down — and plug the toilet.
Such dexterity when it comes to buttons, switches and knobs!
About the babies…. I knew I was done when I was pregnant with #2, I never wanted to be pregnant again, not that I didn’t love the life growing in me with all my heart and experience the joys of kicks and ultrasounds…. just my body felt too old for that particular miracle.
.-= *pol´s last post ..XOXOXOXO =-.
Always the odd one out (or the odd three out). My kids were early and prolific talkers and champion sitters. They tend to go heavy on one or the other, in my (limited) experience. But almost all of the other boys in our playgroup didn’t talk a lot until after two years old.
Most people I talked to knew they were done after two or three, or however many. I never did. I had two tough pregnancies and one very difficult delivery (with Angus) that pushed my second pregnancy a little later than it might have been. Neither of them were difficult babies, and I still feel like we should have had more little personalities in the mix. Cuddling my friends’ babies isn’t good enough — I need a baby I can nurse, and one that loves me the most
. I did get to the point where I knew I was too old and broken, but I don’t think I’ll ever be fully at peace with it. Of course, if that’s the biggest problem I ever have….
I knew for sure I was done with the last bout of food poisoning. I can’t do that again for 9 motnhs!
I am still so tired and too close to the sleep deprivation of babies to appreciate other people’s babies. I am sure a time will come when I will see and baby and ooh and ahh over it but that time has not come yet!
.-= Capital Mom´s last post ..Things I love =-.
Whenever I see a pregnant mom or new baby I want to be pregnant again, although it’s usually fleeting as I remember what they grow up to be! Plus, we’re done, like it’s-impossible-now-done. So wistful is all I get.
.-= Melodie´s last post ..The Things I Didn’t Expect When I Was Expecting =-.
I’m always feeling wistful too about how fast my babies are growing. It’s party of mommyhood this constant nostalgia for the recent past and even the present.
I enjoyed this post as I have a 19 month old and was just asking my husband today, do you think they are all this messy?
.-= Betsy´s last post ..Birth Performance Anxiety, or, unassisted in a yurt with Enya in an owl-sanctuary =-.
I do sometimes get a fleeting wistful thought about babies, but we are done!
Oh, that doorknob-reaching stage. We had to change the fancy “lever” style doorknobs on a few key locations to traditional round knobs to keep the micro dude from charging off into dangerous places like the laundry room and garage. Hopefully, he’ll gain enough sense before he gains more height.
.-= Lady M´s last post ..Crafty Love =-.
totally done. two is enough for me, can’t abide the thought of having to go through the whole giving birth, having a small baby thing again.
Congratulations on Jacob’s momentous 18th month mark! I swear when Ari turned 18 months, I immediately wanted another one. I still do. Ari also likes to climb to dangerous places up high. And he also likes to say “Dee!”
.-= Old School/New School Mom´s last post ..Black Thumb? I Think Not! =-.
the jellybean is the one and only and i have no regrets or wistful feelings. he is wonderful and perfect (ha!) and our little miracle baby. why tempt fate is what i say.
he was a supper early talker, but walked late. even at almost three he isn’t the most physical kid, not a great climber. but he will talk your ear off!
.-= smothermother´s last post ..Happy Valentine’s Day =-.