In November of 2008 our TV died. I was in the kitchen trying to make dinner and so I had parked then 3 1/2-year-old Hannah in front of a DVD to keep her occupied. Only it didn’t work, because the TV turned itself off and never turned back on after that.
At first I panicked. At the time Jacob was 3 months old, and we were heading into winter. Plus, I love TV. The idea of not having it gave me the shakes. Which is actually one big reason that Jon and I decided to wait a while before replacing our dead television. Maybe a little bit of TV detox was in order. We went a couple of weeks, and a couple of weeks longer. Finally, after about 6 weeks or so we decided to give up TV for the time being. We disconnected our cable and unhooked our Tivo and stopped browsing the fliers for a hot deal on a 46″ LCD.
It’s been over a year and a half now since our TV died. During the first 6 months or so we were able to keep our daughter Hannah away from any TV at home. It was actually really lovely to not face the daily TV battles that we experienced when we had TV. Eventually she realized that she could play DVDs on the computer, and so she watches 3 or 4 movies a week that way. Luckily, we haven’t seen the same TV battles with the computer. She seems to understand the limits, and she watches her show during Jacob’s naptime and then turns it off and does something else.
Hannah glued to the TV while we were on vacation
Given how long we have been without TV, I was curious to see what would happen when we were on vacation last week. We had a TV in our rental townhouse, and cable showing children’s programming around the clock. Hannah knew this. Even Jacob figured it out pretty quickly. Would TV still hold the same allure for 5-year-old Hannah that it did for 3 1/2-year-old Hannah?
The answer was an emphatic yes! From the time that she got up until the time that she went to sleep Hannah wanted to watch TV. If we were out enjoying ourselves she was OK, but even then she would frequently ask about when she could get home and how much TV she could watch. She sat glued to the television every waking moment that we allowed it. I have seen some kids who get bored with TV after a while. Jacob does, for instance. I have never seen Hannah reach that point. Maybe she would after a few hours, but I’m not sure I want to find out exactly what her limit really is.
Having a TV affected our vacation for Jon and me, too. I quickly found myself trying to structure my day around when certain shows would be on. I channel surfed and watched things that didn’t really interest me just because they were on. Even the commercials got to me, and I started thinking how nice it would be to have a new pair of shoes, a nice summer dress, a glass of Coke. I can see how not having a TV has shifted my lifestyle. Not all for the better, to be sure, but in some very real ways all the same.
We are not screen-free at our house by any means. We own 3 computers and one smart phone. I’m hoping to get an iPhone of my own when the new ones come out. There is no shortage of electronic stimulation. But for our family, it’s been easier to set limits on the computer screen than the TV screen. Comparing our family vacation to our daily life made that crystal clear.
Are your kids TV fanatics, or do they find sitting still that long to be boring? What about you? Have you ever gone without a TV, and what was it like? And how do you find computer screen time to compare with TV screen time? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
PS – June’s Crafting my Life series is about money. On the last Thursday of the month, which just happens to be the 24th, I will include a link up. To participate, write a post or track down a post you’ve written on the subject sometime in the past, and add yourself to the list. Then read everyone else’s ideas and thoughts and be inspired! Check out the link-ups from January, February and March to get a feel for how it works.
When we moved into our house in August 2008 we never had the cable hooked up. With our rabbit ears, we can get two channels very clearly, and one of them is in French. If we’re willing to deal with some fuzz and futzing with the rabbit ears, we get 5 stations (including the above mentioned French station — I keep thinking I should watch some French TV to improve my 2-years-of-immersion-when-I-was-in-public-school French, but it’s yet to happen).
I think the loss of the TV has been fantastic for us in many ways. We used to watch crap. Whatever was on Home & Garden or the Food Network was good enough, or whatever CSI episode happened to be on. Now, we really have to want to watch something to deal with the fuzz. Or if we really just want to veg in front of the TV, our options are very very limited.
Since peanut was born 9.5 months ago I think I’ve turned on the TV during the day only a half-dozen times. Not having anything to watch makes it easy to not turn it on. We joke that the few times when he sees it on, he must think “Oh, THAT’S what that box is for!!!”
Truthfully, we do watch TV shows, but we can stream just about anything we’re looking to watch from the internet. And the few things we can’t stream legally we’ll occasionally – gasp – find a torrent for and download. But we do this very rarely in the grand scheme of things. In today’s day and age it’s actually really easy to get away without a TV, and streaming or downloading makes you think a little more about what you’re watching, so you almost never get sucked into watching “whatever’s on”. I like that. I think at this point I’d be perfectly happy if we never got cable.
Now the internet on the other hand, I know we cannot live without… but that’s another story entirely.
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I’ve been meaning to blog about this, actually! We just bought a new TV/ DVD combo set, after five years without. (We do all watch shows and movies, tho. Just on computer or projector screen, but now we have one more DVD player option.)
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Our TV is old and crappy and big, but we still watch enough so that when we move we think we are going to upgrade. Kale watches Bo on the Go and often Busytown in the morning. It gives me enough time to make us both breakfast and me some tea. He dances along and laughs his fool head off. Then it goes off till I start to prepare dinner and Kale watches that totally insane weird Waybaloo and sometimes Toopy and Binoo. During hockey season he would watch games with us here and there. We’re pretty nonchalant about tv. So far Kale never begs for it (although he’s only 2) and if it gets turned off he doesn’t appear to care at all. In my head, I justify him watching a bit of tv because it allows me to accomplish things like dinner and breakfast with no added stress. I think if he starts caring about tv watching, I’ll discontinue it.
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Oh, if our tv died…my god. I shudder to think about it!! Victoria is a lot like Hannah. She can easily be glued to the TV all day if you let her. However, she does have moments where she wants to do other things so I guess she isn’t a tv addict…yet
Amelia is probably more like Jacob. She will sit and watch, especially if certain shows are on, but more often she is puttering about the playroom or the house doing her own thing and ignores the tv.
I would love to institute a limit to when the tv can be on but anytime I try it never goes well. All the caregivers need to be in agreement and frankly, that doesn’t seem to be the case so far.
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lordy knows why we still pay for our cable connection – we hardly ever watch. the tv is in the basement, out of the way, which helps and right now the Wii is attached. Wee Guy rarely clamours for tv and i don’t think he misses chatting about it with his peers (Grade 1). we do however, have more aggro about computer/Wii useage akin to your described tv scenario so we’re trying to construct sensible limits.
as Jen says, it’s useful to have an all-consuming activity to pull out when needed (even when the little person in question is 7y old) and, on the safety front, sitting meekly is better than rampaging free sometimes.
PS: i still haven’t gotten in to this watching tv on the computer though, apart from shows involving my old alma mater Vet School on stv player (which does play in canada despite the warnings, great giggles at former classmates and profs!) – where do i go to get all these movies and tv stuff peeps talk about???
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If you want to watch TV shows you just go to the network site (usually the Canadian one for Canadians, like CBC or CTV) and look for where it says ‘Watch Online’ or something like that. The day after a show airs it shows up there and you can see it. I watch the Daily Show on the Comedy Network site, for example.
To watch movies on the computer you usually have to illegally download them. Or you can just stick a DVD in and it will play.
I wish at times that our TV would meet it’s untimely demise. Our almost 10 year old acts like you’re physically hurting him if you ask him to turn off the TV.
An interesting post and a topic that has been on my mind as summer holidays approach.
My kids do watch TV and often. Lately it has been mostly about watching sports for our 9 yr old boy and DIY channel and cooking shows for our 7 yr old girl. (I think she loves that she watches it with her dad as much as the young chef/construction worker that she is.) I watch too much TV too. I justify it thinking I’m too tired to do anything else (which probably means I should just go to bed) or for company when my hubby is away. I know I need to limit it all more for the lot of us. Perhaps we will set hours for the summer, turn it off when there is really nothing to watch instead of channel surfing, etc.
Yes, we did have a time when we were kids that we were TV-free. Our old B&W TV was being fixed by a friend of the family when, tragically, his home burned down. (The loss of the TV was nothing compared to what he went through.) We busied ourselves with records, books, sibling play and imagination for about a year and a half. I would have to say we were more aware of life in general when we were TV-free though it is more parent work to miss out on that babysitter. It was a time of great celebration when we got a new TV and in colour no less.
So the ideal and the practical play tug-of-war in my mind over the whole issue. I am interested in reading more about what you posted and the other readers have to say.
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We watch TV in our house. That being said it is adults only and not because we have a strong or well thought out opinion on the subject. It is just that our one and only boy is not interested in sitting down and watching the telly. We also don’t subscribe to any of the major kids networks (hello treehouse!).
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I prefer to be TV-free. There are a few shows I love, but I can live without. The kids, like their father, would be glued 24/7 if they could. I’m so happy to not have a TV right now.
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I would love for our house to be TV free. I have learned recently that I can watch Grey’s Anatomy on the computer so that’s really all I need. But my husband likes to watch sports and PBS so it stays. Even when I had a TV before he came along I never had cable. I liked watching movies anyway and I was always able to get at least one good channel by plugging it into the outlet and playing with some bunny ears. Cable is so expensive too! I used to not spend much time in front of any screens at all, until I decided to start a blog. Now even if I wanted to watch TV I couldn’t because my computer keeps me so busy!
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we are a family of tv addicts. including the jellybean. he would watch 24/7 if we would let him though when we are out doing stuff he nevers says he wants to go home to watch tv. nor does he ask for it when it isn’t on. sometimes he will ask to watch a movie, and on raininy days, that’s great. it’s also great when he wakes up at 5am on the weekend and you aren’t really ready to do anything. yep, tv helped raise me and i don’t think i turned out that bad!
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We’ve been cable free for about five years now (I was an addict once – it was BAD), but have a very plentiful DVD collection of our favourite TV shows. We’ve tried putting the TV away for awhile, but my husband and I are cuddle addicts and nothing slows our girls down for a cuddle like a movie they haven’t seen in awhile. Also, it’s a life saver when our girls are sick. Generally though? On a good day they watch half an hour in the morning and half an hour in the evening. We like using DVD’s as we can choose what our children watch. It’s fascinating to see how different shows affect their behaviour in different ways.
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Interesting topic…I watched a TV documentary about a family that gave up TV
TV isn’t that important to me… but I can imagine how stressful my life would be without it; Carrie almost killed me when I suggested we cancel cable!
In your daughter’s defense…. I went without TV for a long time during collge and when the first baby came along, it was a “want” expense that we couldn’t afford at the time. I was so out of the loop for products, popular shows, what movies were playing, even funny commercials. Sometimes it made for awkward social situations (very sad, I know). BUT the worst part was going to someone’s house that had cable, especially if they were the kid of household that left it on all the time…. I was completely entranced and focused on the glowy box that was showing me these commercials/shows that I had not seen before!!!! Completely rude on my part, and embarassing.
Now that we have TV again, we watch it regularly, but not constantly. And it does not hold our undivided attention like it did when we didn’t have our own TV set.
I think I could live without it again. At least the cable part. I do love my movie collection, but I suppose I could see that on my computer.
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I love television. I could have the boob tube on all the time. My children love watching tv too. But, not in the same way I did as a child. We have so many channels that I can hardly keep them straight. But, my children aren’t glued to the tv. In fact I thik they probably watch less than thirty minutes a day. And honestly, I don’t get why (but I am not trying to change that). If they turn the tv on, they may watch part of a show, and then loose interest. I think it might have somthing to do with there being two of them so close in age. They would rather play with each other than sit down and be absorbed in a show.
As much as I love tv, I am just as happy to watch it on the computer when it fits into my schedule more. We have a pvr and I find I use this to watch stuff later on – when the kids are gone to bed.
I like that my kids don’t have the desire to have the tv constantly going. It is one of the things I don’t really like about myself and work on limiting for me….so having children not really follow my path is a good thing.
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My hubby would never be able to go tv-free. Never. He is a tv-addict. It has to be on pretty much 24/7 when he is home (he’s not always watching it, but it’s on). It gives him some kind of comfort, I think.
When we were dating, and before we moved in together, I didn’t own a TV. Now I definitely watch a lot more, but I would like to try going tv-free for a while.
My kids (son is 12, daughter is 5) watch tv, but not to the extreme. We dont’ really have limits because they DO get bored of it. My son spends TOO much time on the computer though. Miss M likes it for games, but she spends only a few minutes at a time on it.
Hmm, you have me thinking. I’m starting to think my hubby needs an intervention!!
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We limit TV here for the kids and with the exception of an irritating few months when K was about 2 1/2 where he asked for TV non-stop, it seems to be going okay. The kids know they are allowed a show when they eat breakfast and two shows when they eat lunch. That’s usually about it for them on the TV front. We rarely watch movies with them with the exception being when I’m sick and need a virtual baby-sitter to give me a hand. They don’t seem to care. I don’t think they watch more than 1 hour combined in the day (because the shows on Treehouse are usually short) and we DVR the ones that they really like. Many times the kids get bored and wander away from the TV before their allotted TV time is done. I think if they know the limits they aren’t upset that the TV isn’t on all the time.
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That’s so interesting, that she would leap right in again. I know my kids would be the same, right down to the 2 y/o being pretty nonchalant about it. Except potty training movies, which he watches with great focus.
My kids never watch “live” TV. We record the shows they’re interested in and when the show’s over, the TV goes off. I had a hard and fast limit of one show in the morning and one in the evening, which I started sort of bending after a string of illnesses…and my 4 year old started to get belligerent about watching more more more! So I re-imposed the 30 min in the morning, 30 at night rule. Which, even though it means I get less laptop time/ solo peeing time, is better for the kids.
we also get a few dvds from the library once a week. hence the potty training movies.
the kids are NOT allowed to touch my laptop. My partner is in the process of installing some kid friendly linux something or other on my old laptop so they will have their own computer to mess around with.
My computer is very important to me. Far more so than a television.
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We got rid of our cable before Kieran was born, and I have never regretted it (Tom on the other hand . . . ). Kieran is a FREAK for the TV (funny, I have a post half-written on this topic). We have to limit his TV time or he turns into a zombie (much like his papa). Last week Kieran and I stayed at my parents’ house and I mindlessly sat flipping through channels for 45 minutes. Why?! I didn’t watch anything!!
Dionna @ Code Name: Mama’s last post … Allowing Toddlers to Choose Compassion
Oh man, I have two TV JUNKIES in this house. I really try to limit their time (especially after that TV-will-kill-your-toddlers-and-put-you-in-prison type of article that came out a couple months back. But, it’s inevitable. If I want to get anything done, the easiest way to keep the kids from killing each other is to put on freaking Wonder Pets. We also have a habit of letting the kids watch a little bit of TV each morning while we’re waiting for the other one to wake up. Usually Julesy wakes up first, nurses, and then says “I wanna watch a little bit of TV, Mommy” – (yes, this sentence from the 2 yr old.) So, I let him watch Dora until Jonas wakes up. Then Jonas wants to finish watching Dora, and then I have to fight with them both to go eat breakfast. It’s a really bad routine we’ve fallen in to, but I don’t really know how to break it since they both wake up at different times.
That’s the long answer to your question – but yes… YES… these kids love TV.
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I never had a tv in my adult life, and never missed it. I do miss something like netflix though, and I’d love to watch movies with my kids. I always take them to the cinema when we are in the city.
My boys are into tennis, and watch streaming matches whenever they are available.
PS I can probably see my second born spend his vacation glued to a tv: when he was 3 he spent his night on a intercontinental plane awake watching Monsters & Co and then X-Files (I meant to write a complain letter about the choice of forced entertainment on board, but never did).
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We have been TV free for 10 years now… Tom grew up without one and never wanted to get one as an adult. I had lots of TV growing up but was willing to give it up. I don’t think I’d ever want to get another TV now. Sure, there are hairy times of day when I’m trying to get dinner together and it would be far easier to plop them both down in front of a show. When I go on holiday to my parent’s house I get totally overwhelmed by their HDTV and find it hard to wind down at night when it’s been on all afternoon. Just the incessant noise & activity. A stream of brands & marketing. I get to the point where I can barely hear my own thoughts. Blah.
My husband is a TV junkie. I am an Internet junkie so I can’t really complain, although the majority of what I do online is reading and writing and some of it is work. We’ve talked about how once the baby comes we won’t have the TV on all day long anymore – we definitely end up watching junk just because nothing else is on, versus turning the set off – but who knows how realistic it will be. When my husband isn’t home I make a point of listening to music instead, TV off, or else I’d probably lose my mind.
On the upside, we are both (OK, mostly me) major TV conversators, as in we will TOTALLY talk at the television. We offer the families on Wife Swap out loud parenting advice and smack talk news reporters all from the comfort of our couch. I feel like this DOES make it more interactive, and we have actually had lots of *meaningful* conversations with each other spawned by things we see on television.
Still, it’s too bad that the idea of reading side by side with my partner on a porch swing as the sun goes down will never be more than a fantasy.
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Oh man, my 21 month old so badly wants to watch t.v. I usually turn it on for my 3.5 year old daughter so that I can put him upstairs for his nap and she’ll be occupied for 10 minutes. I started to feel bad for him so I let them watch sesame street sometimes together and he seems pleased with that. We also have an apple t.v. so buy seasons of shows from itunes; if you’re only into a few shows and don’t want to pay for cable it’s a great alternative.
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When we’re on our usual routine of 20-30 minutes of TV in the evenings, things work pretty well. Not much complaining about wanting more TV. When we watch more for a special reason, then we get more whining for more. It’s odd.
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