I may be a “work at home” mom, but I actually don’t spend that much time at home alone with my kids. My daughter Hannah is in school all day (at least until this Wednesday), and my son Jacob goes to preschool/daycare three days a week so that I can get some work done. On Tuesdays Jacob and I tend to run errands together, and on Thursdays we were attending a mothers’ group that I volunteered with. However, recently I stepped down from my volunteer role, and suddenly Jacob and I have Thursdays to ourselves. I was excited – a day with my son and no plans!
Jacob runs home after coming with me to drop Hannah off at school in the morning
Here’s the thing I hadn’t accounted for: spending a day at home alone with a small child is hard. If the weather is bad and that child doesn’t nap, it’s even harder. If I think back on times when I spent most of my time at home alone with a baby or toddler, I remember that I was often frazzled. I found myself counting down the time until my husband got home, when I would finally have another adult to speak with, and to make sure that my child was safe while I took a quick shower. But as you leave one parenting stage and head into the next, you forget. I hadn’t spent a rainy day at home alone with a three-year-old in a while, so I had glossed over the hard bits in my mind.
Me and my boy
I love my children more than words can say. I adore spending time with my children. I find that I enjoy that time more when I have other adults around for backup, or we’re out doing something that is fun for both of us. This is why playdates and library storytime and playgrounds and preschool open gym time were all invented. After your child has watched as much TV as you can justify and you’ve spent three or four hours fetching snacks, wiping up messes, playing Evil Emperor Zurg to your son’s Buzz Lightyear, and being accompanied on every bathroom visit, you’re kind of done. You’re ready for a break. But kids never need a break, and hence the hardness arises.
Buzz Lightyear at the grocery store
I’m really very glad that I have the freedom to spend weekdays with my son – and my daughter, too, when she’s not in school. Working from home provides a high degree of flexibility, and allows me to be there for field trips and playgroups and all of that great stuff. I really am tremendously appreciative of the privileges this lifestyle affords. But being an “at home mom” doesn’t have to mean never leaving the house, which is something I’ve recently been reminded of. Getting out is good for everyone’s sanity – especially the adult who’s spending the day with only a small child for company.
How do you keep everyone happy and entertained when you’re at home alone for the day with your kids? I’m going to need some tips if I’m going to keep my sanity now that my Thursday gig is over!
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we get out – i’m never a stay-at-home mum even on 24/7 childcare days. my gym-with-childcare membership was worth its weight in gold, as were swims at the aquatic centre (with childcare days). indoor play areas, jungle gym at the rec, Family Place … anywhere i could catch a break before heading back into “being present” with the Wee Guy. and i was ruthless about quiet time in the afternoons – play or activities alongside each other.
being present in bursts I suppose
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I ALWAYS plan an outing even if it’s at the last minute. I have Theo three days a week and I typically have something regular on two of those days – one is a playgroup thing, the other is a fitness camp with childcare. The third day, I free form it — acquarium/beach/pool/visit friends/ etc… BUT because Theo does not nap, I find that the 2 pm -5/6 period very difficult. I typically do a bit of TV time followed by backyard time or bike down the sidewalk time or if I have the energy we go to the playground. Thankfully by 6, it’s bathtime!!
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Henry doesn’t nap either. Makes for a long day. Late afternoon outings tend to include at least one meltdown.
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We’re having June-uary over here too and I’m finding it tough with my almost three year old. He’s in daycare two short days and a morning while I work (from home or a coffee shop). So when it’s just us, no work, no daycare, I want to have fun.
Usually that means getting outside but the weather has been so bad we’ve been stuck at home a few too many times. We live across from the beach and on a recent walk into town my son started begging to be let out of the stroller so he could play on the beach. It was raining and really unpleasant but I decided to just let him go for it. I was soaked and he was covered in sand but it was well worth it.
Sigh, I miss all the drop-in play gyms and library programs in the GVRD.
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“I hadn’t spent a rainy day at home alone with a three-year-old in a while, so I had glossed over the hard bits in my mind.”
Hahaha yes! I stay home with my kids all day every day, and sometimes after we’ve had several days of outings, I do forget how trying it is to be home all day with a three-year-old. It only SEEMS relaxing…any time other than when you’re actually living it.
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Thank you for this Amber. Last night I was really struggling with similar things. My poor partner was up until midnight with me while I was up and arms feeling sorry for myself. Being alone with a small child IS hard, especially with the weather we’ve been having lately. I am also lucky to be able to stay home, but as I am currently not working it’s even more challenging to be ALONE, with HIM. But as we know there is a light at the end of every tunnel. HE will be going to daycare part time in September and I will be working part-time by then hopefully! And so all this to say, I was glad to read your post. I feel better.
Cheers!
Leeanne
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I just spent the day with my 3 yr old grandson and I can totally understand what you are saying. I definitely plan events, outings, picnics in the park and am exhausted at the end of the day! thank goodness his parents come home and I can go home. he’s fun to be with and I love him dearly, but I am so relieved that it’s just 1 day a week!
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I often take my kids (4.5, 2.5, 6m — and no one in school/ preschool/ day care) for walks around the block when nothing else is planned. Sometimes I take my cell phone and ear buds with me and call friends. It’s one of the only times I can actually hold a conversation with anyone w/o dealing with my kids’ phone-itis. But mostly I go to every group thing I can. My moms’ group has stuff planned MWF all summer long, and I go to almost everything and then enjoy (or don’t enjoy) down days on Tu and Thu. Having other SAHM friends is really key (and yes I have working mom friends too).
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My 3-yo is going to be with me (plus the baby) this summer. It’s either a good idea, giving us more opportunities to connect, or a very, very bad idea, giving us more opportunities to drive each other bonkers. My strategy is to have two planned activities for every day: one for the morning, one for the afternoon. The activity doesn’t need to be anything fancier than heading out to the tot lot or putting out some paints for making art. We’ll see how it goes.
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Twitter: AmberStrocel
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I think that sounds like a GREAT strategy. Get thee out of the house!