Comments on: Authority

By: Lady M

Lady M — Sat, 16 May 2009 06:02:30 +0000

Yep, there is that useful hierarchy. My moms group was formed around the babies who were born within the same six weeks at the hospital, so all the kids are very close in age. Fortunately, it was led by a great child development specialist/lactation consultant/delivery nurse who I loved. She had a relaxed, matter of fact style that made us all feel competent.

By: Emily R

Emily R — Sat, 16 May 2009 05:09:12 +0000

I was kind of disappointed with my second that the British mums didn’t acknowledge my place in the hierarchy, although I wasn’t around a lot of women with just one child. But now? With three. I am totally the expert. Which is highly amusing and terrifying at the same time.

By: lana

lana — Sat, 16 May 2009 02:59:09 +0000

This was an awesome blog! So true. In my office I am close with a woman with a preteen girl and one with a 18 month old daughter and me with my 4 year old and baby girls. The same hierarchy exists and it is great.

By: Patience

Patience — Fri, 15 May 2009 23:39:24 +0000

So interesting and true…except in my case. In some ways I feel like I do know more than a new mom but in other ways I feel JUST like the new mom. Having my fourth child has really humbled me. I thought I had this thing under control until my intense daughter hit 2 and I had my 4th child all in the same year.

I find myself asking questions to newer moms than me, especially ones that have strong kids or kids closer together…go figure.

By: *Pol

*Pol — Fri, 15 May 2009 17:47:09 +0000

Yes!
My kids are now 12 and 7 — WOW! But I love having survived infancy (and toddlerhood) TWICE! I will share my tidbits, and toy, and book recommendations to any new mom that wants to hear. I for one really appreciated all the wisdom I could get. Like you said, It’s a learn as you go gig, and I had a steep learing curve with one high needs baby.
Of course that can backfire, like the one woman that so KINDLY told me in a grocery store checkout that she “never let her baby cry” as I was desperately trying to settle my screaming, flailing infant, I was so near a nervous breakdown that I could taste it. I went home and cried myself dry that I was a terrible mother that I didn’t know how to stop my kid from crying… thankfully soon after my doctor told me I was doing just fine, it wasn’t my fault.
And hey, now he is 12! He made it just fine! He is still on the difficult end of the scale, but he is a great kid!

By: Maria@Conversations with Moms

Maria@Conversations with Moms — Fri, 15 May 2009 15:22:19 +0000

LOL. My sister has 3 kids which is just one kid more but I always go to her if I have questions. She is the authority in our family (besides Mom of course). All her kids are older than mine and she has twins as well as an 8 year old. Talk about listening to her every word.

It is a learn as you go job and every parenting situation is different. Just as every kid is different. But it does feel great when people ask my opinion on parenting.

By: Allison

Allison — Fri, 15 May 2009 14:14:56 +0000

It’s absolutely true. My friend Collette who had her son ten months before Angus was born came and picked us up and took us out when he was six weeks old (I was stuck in the house recovering from the c-section until then) and knew how to put his car seat in her van and I felt like sitting at her feet and holding up my arms to receive all her parental wisdom. Then my niece was born when Angus was one and I went to help my sister out for a week, and at one point after I had gotten exploding-diarrhea stains out of her skirt and was holding her screaming baby without freaking out I suddenly realized my hyper-competent little sister (who had always been more poised and confident when we were growing up) was looking at me like I was the bomb. I also gained points by blithely diagnosing my nephew’s hand foot and mouth disease over the phone a couple of provinces away. His parents are a couple of Ph.d types, so that was intoxicating .

My sister is a pharmacist. Whenever people would come in and ask child-related questions before she had kids, she would say “look, you don’t need a pharmacist. You need another Mom.” Sound advice, if you ask me.

p.s. my husband spent his graduate studies annealing zinc oxide in order to study defects in solids. I will absolutely listen to you talk about your thesis any time. (but I do prefer the cute kid stories).