Jacob is currently 17 1/2 months old. His main interests seem to be climbing things he shouldn’t, pressing buttons and playing outside. Oh, and breastfeeding. While my toddler eats a wide variety of food now, he still relies on nursing to soothe him when he’s hurt, to lull himself to sleep or just for a quick snack on the go. Having breastfed his sister until she was almost 3 years old, I am in no rush to end Jacob’s time at the breast.
While our nursing relationship is still working well for the most part, it’s not all sunshine and roses. Toddlers, as it turns out, are not that considerate of others. They are hooligans, if you will. It’s not malevolent, really, they just don’t understand that you have feelings and can be hurt, and so it doesn’t occur to them that pulling your hair just to see what you’ll do is unkind. And so, it also doesn’t occur to them that performing daring feats of acrobatic skill while breastfeeding is kind of, well, rude.
The little monkey, dressed the part
If you have ever breastfed a toddler, some of Jacob’s latest tricks while nursing might sound familiar to you.
We are slowly working on some nursing etiquette. My current boundaries are that I won’t nurse him at the table or in the bathroom. He seems to be getting the message on those fronts, so we will gradually expand from there. I expect that he will also naturally develop more consideration as he gets older, children always do. But for right now, I will admit that occasionally when he makes the sign for nurse I offer him a cracker instead. Because as committed as I am to breastfeeding, sometimes I need a 5 minute reprieve.
So, tell me? Have you breastfed a toddler who could put Cirque du Soleil to shame with their handstand-back flip-double pike while nursing move? I would love to hear that I’m not alone.
I give you a lot of credit for still breastfeeding! My son was losing interest and wouldn’t latch long enough, or maybe it was my supply. By 13 months he decided he wanted to sleep more than be breastfed.
But I did find he did some of the tricks your son does to you. I guess it’s a way to amuse themselves while they’re feeding. But for me, I think those tricks were stressing my body out and maybe that’s why my supply ran too low.
So it’s been a couple of months since we stopped 100%, but from time to time I feel like my breasts are slightly engorged by the end of the day.
Do you have days where he doesn’t want to feed?
.-= Sara´s last post ..Soapy Business (1 of 5 Reviews) =-.
I breastfed my son until he turned 3 and I can honestly say he never did any of those things. I ended our breastfeeding relationship because I was tired of being asked to whip up my shirt. Every time he was tired or hurt or feeling unwell or overwhelmed he would want to feed. It was wearing me out and it just felt like time to start a new chapter in our lives. Although if I’m honest it may have more to do with me being uncomfortable with him asking to feed in public.
My kids both do ALL of those (except ask to switch sides because I’ve always done block feedings so they never had the option).
The extra one I have to add is that when I would nurse my son sitting on the couch, he would twist around until he was standing, bent double without unlatching. Once he had achieved the daring downward dog nursing position, he would then make the feat even more outrageous by alternately lifting one leg in the air as high as he could. It was awesome, awe-inspiring, awful? One of those things.
.-= BluebirdMama aka @childbearing´s last post ..Independent Thinker =-.
Oh, wow, you mean they get “worse”? My son is just 12 months now, but he’s definitely into the pinching, belly-button poking, hair-pulling, squirming breast-feeding acrobatics. He also likes to pull my glasses off my face and slap the non-nursing breast, yikes!
I’m still committed to nursing him for the next year or so, but it’s good to hear that you can *reason* with toddlers to a certain extent. But what age does that start?
.-= Sarah´s last post ..Santa Baby =-.
My 15 month old daughter does all of the above. She is a big dancer too, so that’s usually in the mix. People who don’t breastfeed after a year usually are worried or ask about nursing once your LO has teeth- they probably haven’t thought about all these other things!
I breastfed my first until 14 months, and my second child till 2 years. I dealt with the sort of behavior you describe with both of them. With my daughter it drove me bonkers, which is why we ended the breastfeeding relatively early (though to be honest, she really didn’t seem to put up any fuss about stopping).
With my son, I found it easier to continue breastfeeding once we established a few rules. I generally didn’t feed him anywhere other than at home (unless, for instance, we were away for an entire weekend). I found when we were in public or visiting others he squirmed way too much. Also, I felt uncomfortable with him lifting my shirt up just any ol’ time.
So…we nursed at home, usually in his room on the rocking chair, and usually at certain times of the day. I actually liked the routine of it, and the routine seemed to work for him, too. He knew that when I sat on the rocking chair with the nursing pillow on my lap it was time to breastfeed so he focused on that.
I don’t think I would have managed to BF so long if I hadn’t found a way to limit his goofing around while BFing and to mainly just BF at home.
.-= Mary Lynn´s last post ..Flip! =-.
My biggest pet peeve is out in public when he wants to lift up the other side of my shirt and/or twiddle. I’ve taught him that “mama’s milk is just for mama, papa, and Kieran to see, nobody else.” That usually settles him down.
As for the acrobatics, it usually doesn’t bother me for a few minutes, then I’ll ask him to calm down and he’s pretty good about it.
.-= Dionna @ Code Name: Mama´s last post ..More Thoughts on Tantrums =-.
this is crazy, but i’ve NEVER thought to simply ask him to calm down. i am going to try that today.
Nope. I was ready and willing for breastfeeding well beyond a year, but both my kids self-weaned at 13 or 14 months, to my considerable dismay. Not that it cut down that much on them still thinking my boobs were their personal playground, there for the yanking on, bouncing or playing like a trumpet any old time or place. They’re six and nine now, and when I climb into bed with them the first thing they both do is stuff their face in my chest. I was exceedingly bitter the first time there was an eye infection that I had no breast milk to squirt in.
ah yes, the joys of toddler nursing. i nursed the bean until he self weaned the day chickpea was born and he was somewhat inclined to move about while nursing but really not too too active. he was also very sensitive so establishing my nursing rules went fairly quickly.
miss pea is a whole other story. she loves to change her positioning while nursing without unlatching. so imagine we are on the couch and she is nursing cradle hold, then she moves herself to be sitting on my lap facing me straddling my legs, then she gets down to the floor to standing, then she climbs back up to a kind of toddler football hold. its is pretty insane. she also, for some reason, loves to pinch my ear lobes while she nurses. this is actually a step becuase she used to love to pinch the skin at the base of my neck and over my collar bones and that was much more sensitive.
anyhow, yes, we are working on our nursing manners. she is a bit slower to catch on because she takes offense to the fact that i think i have a say in the milkies
hahaha. i also have reached the point where occasionally i will offer her water when she asks to nurse – must of the time this is when we are out and about and i don’t want to find a place to stop and sit. she has a tendency to ask to nurse when we are, say, running down the sidewalk trying to get back to the car after a too long shopping trip. not the best timing.
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Oh, you’ve heard all about my toddler nursing antics. Same as you’ve described
SOmedays I think Amelia will nurse until she is at least 2, somedays I think it will be over next week. She fluctuates day to day on how much or how often. I guess the fact I’m out of the house most of the day dictates her needs.
I will say my nipples are feeling the burn…;)
.-= Carrie´s last post ..Sleep, baby, sleep =-.
Oh, today’s entry made me laugh (especially about establishing boundaries that include the bathroom) because my daughter does the same things. How did you get your older daughter to stop? Did she quit on her own?
Oh yes, it’s so familiar to me. My daughter’s favourite is getting me to feed her while I’m sitting on the sofa and she’s standing on the floor. So I have to bend right down until she can just about crane her neck up to my breast. So dignified. The bathroom nurse is out of bounds but I’m afraid it’s still happening at the dinner table.
It can be sore sometimes, but it gives us a lot of laughs! what always stands out to e is how much my daughter still LOVES nursing.
.-= Cave Mother´s last post ..Toddler Nursing Guest Post At Hobo Mama =-.
Oh man! It looks like I missed that band wagon! Hollis weaned himself at 14 months and we were JUST getting to the stage where he was actively asking to nurse, too!
I look forward to the next one’s antics! (Sort of haha)
.-= Jessica – This is Worthwhile´s last post ..A worthwhile post #2: Globe Trotting In Heels =-.
Hee hee this made me giggle.
Kai’s current trick is to want to switch sides every three seconds, and then kind of roll around as he nurses. He pulls off, he talks to the boob, he plays peekaboo with my shirt. Oh and likes to prod my tummy and laugh as it wobbles.
It’s quite a relief actually that he only nurses at home now (first thing and last thing) as I don’t think I could cope with wrestling him in public anymore!
.-= Josie @Sleep is for the Weak´s last post ..Right Now =-.
my son is very adamant that we switch sides often (me rolling my eyes the whole time lol)
Well now I’m nuts enough to be nursing two. I don’t usually nurse them both at the same time but occassionally I do. The newborn is oblivious that there’s a party going on, I think, but the 18 month old LOVES it. His best trick is to hold his baby sister’s toes up for me to kiss. Then he laughs and does it again. And again. And again. You get the picture.
.-= Betsy´s last post ..That’s funny! You should blog about it! =-.
Lol it’s nice hearing my days played out through others. Why don’t we moms get more respect and honor? It takes a lot of love and patience and humility to kiss toes over and over and over and over and over and over and over…
I do remember (vividly) the looking around the room without unlatching! And he used to try to pick my nose and then laugh and laugh. Toddlers are so funny.
.-= AmberDusick´s last post ..Speaking of Detours – Free Diaper Bag Pattern =-.
Oh yeah.
In addition to the things you listed, Lily loves to:
*Kick me in the throat
*Stand on my lap and bend over to nurse me (wiggling around all the while)
*Nurse upside down when we’re sidelying
*Standing to nurse when I’m sitting in a chair, like a calf
*And like Amber above, jamming her fingers up my nose is HIGH-LARIOUS
The twiddling makes me demented, but I’ve gotten firmer about covering up the unused side recently, and it’s getting better.
Still and all – I cannot imagine coping with toddlerhood (especially the preverbal period, but even now that words are in the picture) WITHOUT nursing.
)
She also, sometimes, in a quiet and loving mood, will reach up to my neck and pull my face down next to hers, so I can kiss and nuzzle her while she’s nursing. Worth every twitch, twiddle and round kick.
.-= Dou-la-la´s last post ..Weekend Movie: Taking on nonconsensual exams by med students =-.
Lol, I have to cover my other too
That sounds so aggravating! I weaned my son at 13 months, but if he were still nursing I could totally imagine him doing any and all of those things described! Go Amber! Stay strong against the acrobatic toddler! Thanks for posting on this!
.-= Old School/New School Mom´s last post ..Resentment of The Night Shift =-.
I stopped breastfeeding at about a year when my daughter started losing interest so never had to deal with all of these toddler shenanigans.
Although co-sleeping has led to some similar battle stories . . .
.-= Zoey @ Good Goog´s last post ..Best Looking Mortgage Statement in the World =-.
I can distinctly recall watching a 4 month old nursing so serenely and sweet, gazing at his mother and being so still because at that time I had a rambunctious 18 month old nursing! All of the antics you describe bring back the memories and make me smile. He did stop going mental at the breast and became more respectful at nursing sessions as he approached 2 years and he, like his brother before him learned nursing etiquette. Like you know, this is a relationship and both parties must be happy with it.
It does have something to do with temperament and personality because first born was a not an acrobatic nurser, no bouncing and kicking while nursing, he could lie still. He has always been a calmer guy compared to younger sibling =-) I have a sweet video of first born and I playing peek a boo while he nursed, latched on he is giggling away…such sweet memories!
HA! Just this morning my 17 month old heard the cat meow and tried to scramble down off my lap to go get his furry little friend…without letting go of mommy first. My nipple has been feeling the pain for sure since this is a common occurrence since the cat seems to like him as much as he likes her!
My middle child would do a 360 turn while we were lying on the couch, nursing. Knowing that people would probably never believe this, I had my husband take a photo of her while she was nursing upside down! I could never figure out how she could swallow that way.
I have some more new funs, on top of the ones I posted above. She now likes to take breaks from nursing to insert my nipple in her ear, or, if she’s standing to feed from me like a little calf (I always try to get her to lay in my lap, but some days she just insists on standing), she will pull up her shirt to either rub my nipple against her belly or, as above, insert my nipple into her belly button.
Level with me. Is she a weirdo? I can take it.
.-= Dou-la-la´s last post ..Ready, Set, Suck: On breastfeeding marketing & Medela’s WHO violations =-.
Oh yeah, my 18-month old is a nursing gymnast. All the twisting, kicking, bouncing, starting, and stopping is ours to enjoy as well. She also tries to pick my nose – with her big toe.
Hah, my toddler does the same!
Amber, try breastfeeding a 3 year-3 month-old
Actually, I think things have gotten easier, L used to do almost all the things you mentioned. L is so tall, he now often sits next to me on the sofa and nurses sitting up. That way he gets to also watch TV at the same time! Smart kid.
What drives me nuts is that he has to play with the other breast at the same time. That he only started about 5 months ago. We compromise — I tell him he can only “hold” the other breast or else. Ugh, what we don’t do for out little ones
.-= Dagmar Bleasdale´s last post ..Not Me! Monday — Stomach Flu and Library Fees =-.
OMgosh, my toddler will be 2 in december and his acrobatics while nursing are getting worse if possible. I love him and I want to nurse still, but it’s not that enjoyable unless he is so tired he is falling asleep. Otherwise, he is doing handstands and standing up on my stomach…all while nursing. NOT fun
I actually just googled acrobatic nurser hoping to find some ideas on how to put a stop to this. Please email me if anybody has any real solutions. Lydiabydia2001@yahoo.com
“Toddlers are hooligans”. I like that. Both my sons breastfed until 10 months and both weaned themselves off. They just did not want any more breast after 10 months. My wife was relieved though. It must be so hard to carry on for 3 years. Well done you!
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