Blogging: A Love Story

on February 14, 2013 18 Comments

I never meant to be a blogger. I kind of fell into it, accidentally.

It all started in 2003. At the time, Geocities was all the rage, and many people were creating their own webpages. When I discovered that I had access to a free webpage through my internet service provider, I decided to get on board. Unbelievably, that web page still exists. (If you choose to click that link, please do keep in mind that I created it 10 years ago.)

At the time, I didn’t know the word blog. I was relatively newly-married, and working full-time as an engineer. I hadn’t written anything in ages. And yet, I fell into updating the minutia of my life in my life in the news section fairly quickly. When we decided to buy a house, I suddenly had more to talk about, and more to share with my friends and family. My husband Jon suggested that we could graduate from the free site to our own webpage, and I was on board. It would be like Geocities, only better.

blogging valentine's day social media

When Jon set up a blog, I was irritated. As I said, I didn’t know what a blog was. I didn’t feel that anyone else did, either. I made him put up a splash page, which linked to separate “weblogs” for each of us, as well as our photo album, videos and so on. And yet, in spite of myself, I fell into updating my blog regularly. I wasn’t good at it, and you probably had to know me personally in order to understand what I was talking about, but I did it. I blogged, once a week or so, sometimes more and sometimes less.

Things really changed for me as a blogger when my son was born. I decided that blogging would be my maternity leave project, and I got more serious about it. If you look through my archives, you can see the shift that occurred in late 2008. At the same time I joined Facebook, and later Twitter, which also shifted my perspective when it came to connecting with people online. I began to understand the power of the internet. I also began to understand what my inner writer knew all along – I have to write. Even if it’s badly-laid-out, three-sentence missives on an ancient webpage, once you give me the space I will fill it.

blogging social media valentine's day

And now, today is Valentine’s Day, 10 years after I started that terrible free webpage. In retrospect, I can see how that haphazard decision shaped my life, and set me on a course I couldn’t have anticipated. Through blogging, reading and connecting online I have once again reclaimed my identity as a writer. I have become a dreamer, and taken real steps towards creating a more meaningful and intentional life. I have met amazing people, been entrusted with inspiring stories, and danced my heart out. It isn’t extremely rewarding from a monetary standpoint, but I love it more than I can say.

I’m not a big fan of the romantic obligations that come with Valentine’s Day. However, I do see value in setting aside a day to let the people in our lives know how much we appreciate them. And so, today, I’m thanking you. If you’re reading this, then you’re making yourself a part of my community. That means so much to me. After all, I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. If I’m yours, in some small way, that’s the most rewarding part of blogging I know. It’s so much more powerful than I could have anticipated, when I tapped out my first entries 10 years ago. Sometimes, life has a way of making the unexpected adventure the best one of all.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Filed Under: Blogging and Social Media Tagged With: , , ,

Podcast: Talking Blogging with Annie of PhD in Parenting

on January 18, 2013 Leave a Comment

If you read parenting blogs, the odds are good that you’ve come across Annie, the blogger behind PhD in Parenting. Thanks to her consistent writing, her strong voice, and her relentless advocacy, she’s gained a large and devoted following. When I ran the Crafting my Life online class I wanted to talk to someone about using your voice, and Annie was my first choice. I was thrilled when she agreed to connect for an interview. Today, I’m once again thrilled, as I share that interview with you in today’s podcast.

Strocel.com Podcast Blogging PhD in ParentingNot everyone will agree with what Annie’s opinions on controversial issues. But anyone can see that she does her research, creates a well laid-out argument, and then promotes the issues she cares about. That’s not easy. If you’ve ever tried your hand at blogging, you know that it takes work, and risk-taking, and time. You also need to have a bit of a thick skin to tackle certain subjects. Annie does all that, and through it all she maintains a voice that is unapologetically her own. You don’t have to agree with her opinions to see strength of her voice and the integrity of her work.

More than a year after I recorded this podcast with Annie, I took part in her study of parenting blog analytics. She gave me some suggestions that I actually implemented here, like listing my categories and my popular posts, and creating a Facebook page. If you’d like to know more about how your own blog’s stats compare, check out her post Parenting Blog Analytics: How Do My Stats Compare?

If you’d like some inspiration for using your own voice, or some ideas for building a platform of your own, you’ll want to listen to the podcast:

Talking Blogging with Annie of PhD in Parenting [ 19:59 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Next week on the Strocel.com podcast I’ll be switching things up, as I share a conversation with Van Clayton Powel, author of You Are NOT What You Eat. If you’re still trying to get over your holiday indulgences, or if you’d like to learn how to improve your digestive system, you’ll want to tune in. Van is very passionate, and I learned something myself for sure. Subscribe to the Strocel.com podcast in iTunes, and you won’t miss a minute! Also, if you have a podcast idea, please share it with me. I’d love to hear your suggestions!

*Image Credit – Mike Licht on Flickr

Filed Under: Blogging and Social Media, Podcasts Tagged With: , ,

The Power of We: A Blogger’s Musings

on October 15, 2012 3 Comments

Power of We Blog Action DayI’ve been blogging for over nine years now. I’ve spent a lot of time sitting in this computer chair, tapping out words. The computer has changed, the room I sit in has changed, but the chair hasn’t and the solitude hasn’t. (Well, actually, the solitude kind of has, in that I’m rarely truly alone anymore, but writing is still something I’m doing by myself.) When I saw that this year’s Blog Action Day theme is The Power of We I was kind of at a loss. What am I part of? How am I joining forces with others to effect change?

There are many bloggers who do a fabulous job of advocating for – and creating – positive change. They’re activists who put themselves out there, calling out corruption, inequity and unethical behaviour when they see it. I admire them, but the truth is I can’t take the heat. I’ve written posts that garnered controversy and it quite honestly kept me up at night. Looking back on it now I feel anxious just thinking about it. The truth is that I would really like to just join hands with everyone and sing “Kum Bah Yah”. Then maybe interview them about the experience of holding hands and singing for my podcast. I’m a storyteller, not an activist, and I’m comfortable with that.

At the same time, we can no longer ignore the power of the Internet. The role that social media played in the Arab Spring, for instance, is well known. When we break down the barriers to connection and communication, people can organize and share ideas in new ways. Anyone, anywhere can share their message with the world. Amid the funny cat videos and the celebrity blogs and the Gangnam Style spoofs, there’s some great stuff. Online you can learn how to knit or be inspired or join a political party or learn about history or share your story so that someone who reads it feels just a little bit less alone. While blogging may feel like a solitary act, the truth is it never is.

Power of We Post Hurricane Ike (6)
Photo Credit: Michael Glasgow on Flickr

Every time that you reach out to someone else online to share a piece of information, offer support or create community, you’re exercising the power of we. You’re creating something that you could not create by yourself. You may not be taking on powerful CEOs or building non-profit societies to save the world. That’s okay, we don’t all have to contribute in the same way. But I choose to believe that when we do contribute, by offering the best of ourselves to the world, we’re building something.

My circle of influence isn’t large, and yours may not be either. But if having kids has taught me anything it’s that I don’t have to change the world. I can change one person’s world at a time. Sometimes, a single word delivered at the right time can make a huge difference. We just need to have the courage to show up and speak it, in the way that no one else can. If we all do that, online or offline, we’re making the world a better place to live in. We’re engaging the power of we.

Using your voice isn’t always easy. It’s an act of trust, and sometimes it still makes me nervous. I choose to do it all the same. Will you join me?

Filed Under: Blogging and Social Media Tagged With: , ,

Shanti Uganda’s Birth Partners Push

on October 1, 2012 Leave a Comment

Shanti Uganda Birth Partners PushIn September I shared a post about Shanti Uganda’s Birth Partners Push. The concept was simple – moms with blogs would use their platforms to help create positive change for women in Uganda, through Shanti Uganda.

Based here in the Vancouver area, the Shanti Uganda Society imagines a world where birthing mothers and women living with HIV/AIDS are supported, empowered and able to develop to their full potential. They provide safe woman-centered care and support the well-being of birthing mothers and women living with HIV/AIDS in Uganda. In 2010 they opened their Birth House, which is a solar powered maternity center on one acre of land in the Luwero District of Uganda. The centre is staffed by a team of Ugandan Midwives, a traditional birth attendant and a lab technician. From the Birth House, Shanti Uganda also runs prenatal education classes, a Community Garden Program, a Teen Girls Program and a Women’s Income Generating Group. The latter is a collective of HIV positive women who produce bags and jewellery, which are sold throughout North America.

According to Shanti Uganda, maternal health in Uganda is in need of critical support. 1 in 22 women in rural areas die giving birth, and 18% of new HIV infections occur from mother to child. In contrast, in Canada in 2010, approximately 1 in 13,000 women died in childbirth in 2010. Women in rural Uganda are 590 times more likely to die in childbirth than I was. According to one study, the most common causes of maternal mortality in Uganda were sepsis, hemorrhage and ruptured uterus, while the most common factors contributing to death were lack of blood for transfusion, lack of drugs and intravenous fluids and operating room problems.

Shanti Uganda Birth Partners Push

Those statistics hit home for me. With my daughter Hannah I went into labour at 34 weeks, and while the birth was mostly uneventful, after Hannah was born I hemorrhaged severely. I ultimately required a D&C to remove a piece of placenta, which hadn’t delivered properly. While I was being prepped for surgery, the anesthesiologist told me I’d lost about half of my blood volume. Keep in mind, I had access to excellent medical care and drugs to reduce my bleeding. Following my surgery, when my hemoglobin had dropped again, I was given a transfusion. Some weeks later we got the pathology results from the placenta that had been sent for testing, and we learned that I had been suffering from an acute amniotic infection. Fortunately, thanks to the antibiotics I received in labour and after, my daughter wasn’t infected, and I recovered well. I’m not so sure the outcome would have been so positive if I’d been giving birth in rural Uganda.

I’m grateful to the other mothers who joined with me to raise their voices on behalf of women in Uganda. Please take the time to read what they wrote:

If you care about maternal equality, and you’re able to help, I’d also like to encourage you to consider becoming a Shanti Uganda Birth Partner. Your regular donation helps ensure that they have stable funding to do their important work. I’m not being compensated for writing this, I’m doing it because it matters to me. I bet it matters to a lot of you, too.

Now I’d like to turn the tables back on you. What does safe maternity care mean to you? Did you encounter any complications in birth that made you feel glad to have access to quality medical care? Please share!

Filed Under: Blogging and Social Media, Random Awesomeness Tagged With: , ,

Want to Help Moms? Shanti Uganda’s Birth Partners Push

on September 5, 2012 1 Comment

Shanti Uganda Birth Partners PushWhen I found myself on the same email thread with Natalie Angell-Besseling, Founder and Executive Director of Shanti Uganda, I knew that I wanted to find out more about this local mama. She helped start a charity that provides safe women-centered care and supports the well-being of birthing mothers and women living with HIV/AIDS in Uganda. Their projects include a Women’s Income Generating Group and a Birth House, among others. Shanti Uganda’s Birth House offers educational workshops for midwives and traditional birth attendants, as well as preventative care, birth supplies and assistance for birthing women. They’re also working hard to reduce HIV/AIDS transmission rates from mothers to their babies.

I interviewed Natalie for a podcast, and I was even more inspired. I encourage you to take a listen for yourself. I decided that I wanted to do what I could to help Shanti Uganda achieve its vision. So when Natalie got in touch with me and told me about the Birth Partners project, the Birth Partners Push was born.

Uganda is a country where poverty has left its mark and millions of children have been orphaned by HIV/AIDS. With a tremendous shortage of health care workers, maternal health in Uganda is in need of critical support. 1 in 22 women in rural areas die giving birth and 18% of new HIV infections occur from mother to child. The Birth Partners program helps ensure that the Birth House receives stable funding, ensuring that women have access to a dedicated team of midwives. We’re asking mom bloggers to help us spread the word. Natalie says, “Not only is Shanti Uganda providing a safe, empowering environment for women to give birth, but we are defying the statistics. Of the over 100 women who have given birth at our centre in our almost two years of operation, 100% have left healthy, happy and supported by our dedicated team of midwives.”

Shanti Uganda Birth Partners Push

When I look at what Natalie is doing, I feel kind of sheepish about all the time I spend whining about how I don’t want to clean my kitchen.

Through the Birth Partners Push we’re inviting bloggers to stand in solidarity with birthing mothers in Uganda. Help us create awareness about the challenges facing pregnant women in Uganda and use your voice to inspire others to work with us to create better birthing conditions and in turn, save lives. If you could write a post between September 17-30, 2012, featuring your personal passion for maternal health and sharing information about the Birth Partners program we’d be very grateful. Contact me, and I’ll pass along the info.

Filed Under: Blogging and Social Media Tagged With: ,

Don’t Forget to Have Fun

on August 20, 2012 8 Comments

I’m sorry if I’m talking about nothing but my trip to New York recently, but I still have some great stories to share, so brace yourself for another post today. It’s a good one, though, and it contains zero inside jokes and a profound thought or two. Plus, you get to see silly photos of me with a bag on my head. I hope you’ll stick around.

There are a number of “official” parties at the BlogHer conference. These are the parties that everyone can get into with their conference pass, and which are held in big ballrooms in the same place as the conference itself. The last one, held on Saturday night, is CheeseburgHer. There’s apparently a lot of history behind the party, but the highlights include:

  • A full dance floor and pumping music.
  • McDonald’s cheeseburgers.
  • McDonald’s bags, worn as hats, and a decorating station to bling them out.
  • Alcohol.
  • Beds strewn around the space because the first CheeseburgHer happened in a hotel room and they’re trying to keep the feel.

Before I get into my story, I’m going to disclaim. I never eat at McDonald’s. My kids do, sometimes, because their grandparents take them. But since (1) I generally disagree with the company’s business practices and (2) I don’t eat gluten, I literally have not darkened the door of a McDonald’s in well over a year. In fact, the last time I ate any McDonald’s food was probably at CheeseburgHer 2011. If you’ve been hanging around my blog for any length of time, this likely doesn’t surprise you.

When I was at the party on the last night of BlogHer, though, it was a different story. I was surrounded by friends, and tradition. In that moment, decorating a paper McDonald’s bag to wear on my head seemed like the thing to do. In that moment, eating a cheeseburger (since I don’t actually have a serious gluten intolerance) seemed like the thing to do. In that moment, dancing with my friends and chatting over cocktails and giving last hugs good-bye definitely seemed like the right thing to do.

There were many people at the party who, when they recognized me, were shocked to see me with a McDonald’s bag on my head. Some very friends of mine threatened to tell all my crunchy West Coast peeps, in a joking sort of way. I replied the best way I could, which was to say that I was there to have fun, not to make a political statement. When in Rome, and all that jazz.

I was raised by hippies. This means that I cut my teeth on causes like environmentalism, eating organic food, protecting children from marketing messages and being willing to take a stand for what I believe in. In the process, I gained values that I still try to live in my daily life. It’s important to me that we protect our planet. It’s important to me that my kids have access to healthy, whole foods that haven’t been sprayed with toxins. It’s important to me that I take time to advocate on the issues that are important to me. But you know what? I am a human being, and it also important to me that I don’t take the weight of the world on my shoulders, and forget how to have a little fun.

Yes, we could all do better when it comes to living ethical, sustainable lives. But if you lose your sense of humour, and your sense of fun, you’re probably taking things just a little bit too far. Perfectionism isn’t soul-enhancing, it’s soul-killing. So, yes, my name is Amber and I ate a cheeseburger and wore a decorated McDonald’s bag on my head. What’s more, in the same situation, I’d do it again. Because if I have learned anything in life, it’s that spending every waking moment trying to be good enough is a losing battle. Sometimes you need to be silly, and act in ways that are out of character, and remember to have fun. Above all, remember to have fun.

Are you with me?

Filed Under: Blogging and Social Media, Crafting my Life Tagged With: , , ,

Getting Fitted: Talking to the Bra Whisperer

on August 15, 2012 11 Comments

The two times I’ve attended BlogHer, I kicked off the event with the Official Canadian Party on Thursday evening. It was a great chance to meet some of my Canadian peeps in a smaller setting that didn’t interfere with any sessions or official BlogHer parties. This year, they included a guide to New York City in our swag bag, with insider tips from some great Canadian bloggers. The one that really caught my eye came from Emma Waverman, who suggested a great place to get a bra on the Lower East Side. My friend Marilyn and I were both sorely in need of some more, erm, support, so on Sunday morning we headed out in search of Orchard Corset Discount Centre.

Like everyone else I’ve read the statistics that say something like 80% of women are wearing the wrong bra size. With numbers like that, I knew I was probably one of them. And yet, I’ve never had a proper bra fitting. I’ve always just gone with what was affordable, comfortable and looked good. I really thought I was doing okay. However, I was sick of wearing old nursing bras when I haven’t breastfed in well over a year, and I had a recommendation on where to go, so the time seemed ripe.

orchard corset
Image credit: Bonnie Natko on Flickr

From the outside, the shop looked small and non-descript. When we opened the door, we found a large Orthodox Jewish man behind the counter. We told him we were there to get fitted, and he asked us to take a seat because someone else was being fitted already. We each took a stool, and I looked around the walls, which were all covered in row upon row of little cardboard boxes holding bras, girdles, corsets and all manner of lingerie. Marilyn compared it to Ollivanders Wand Shop from Harry Potter, and I had to agree.

After 15 minutes or so Marilyn went in. She was in there for all of five minutes, which surprised me, but I didn’t have a chance to ask her how it went because it was my turn. A woman greeted me from the back of the store and asked me to step behind a curtain and take off my shirt. I was standing in a storage room, with even more little cardboard boxes. She came back, and while I left my old bra on she took the measure of me with her eyes, gave me a few discreet pats, and came back with a bra to try on. I tried it on, and the band size was a little bit small so she got me the next size up and I tried that on. This time the size was right (and totally different from what I’d been wearing), but the style still wasn’t satisfactory to the Bra Whisperer who was fitting me.

So many boxes at Orchard Discount Corset

This is the exchange that followed, as well as I can remember:

Bra Whisperer – Hmm. I’m going to get you a bra. You won’t like the way it looks, but you’ll like it once it’s on.
Me – Okay.
Bra Whisperer – You’re very short-waisted, we need to lift you up.
Me – I am very short-waisted.
Bra Whisperer – I just need to create some distance in your torso. You’re so short-waisted.
Me – I know. I have two kids, and when I was pregnant I just shot out to here, there was nowhere for the kids to go.
Bra Whisperer – You have two kids? You don’t look old enough.
Me – I do. I’m actually 36.
Bra Whisperer – Oh, I thought you were a teenager. That changes everything. I’m going to need you to take your bra off, so I can see what I’m working with.
Me – All right, no problem. [I have two kids. I have no shame anymore.]
Bra Whisperer – I’m sorry, I don’t like to have people naked, but I had to see.
Me – Really, it’s all right.
Bra Whisperer – I’ll be right back. [She disappears momentarily.] Okay, here it is.
[I try the bra on, and the Bra Whisperer adjusts it.]
Bra Whisperer – I was having a hard time with you. I thought you were a teenager. I knew what kind of bra you needed, but I thought that you wouldn’t like it. Now that I know you have two kids, I know what to do with you. This material is very thin though, do you have a problem with sticking out?
Me – No.
Bra Whisperer – I’m like everyone’s mother. No one else will tell you you’re sticking out, but I will. Okay, put on your shirt, and see.

Waiting for a bra fitting at Orchard Street Corset

At this point, I put on my shirt. I hadn’t been particularly impressed with the bra she brought me, but then I saw. My breasts were decidedly higher than they had been in my old bra. Like, several inches higher. I’m a woman in my mid-30s. I’ve had a couple of kids. The girls don’t exactly point in the same direction they used to, if you catch my drift. But in this bra they did. But the best part was that it was only $40 (I realize this isn’t exactly pocket change for everyone, but compared to the $150+ I’ve heard of people paying for a well-fitted bra, it’s pretty darn affordable). I bought two. As for Marilyn, she bought four. Apparently, the Bra Whisperer just brought her one bra, and when she asked if there was another one the Bra Whisperer said no. That was it. And it was.

After my bra fitting, I felt the comparison to Ollivanders was even more apt. I also found that wearing a well-fitting bra in the right style has made a huge difference. My clothes fit better, and I feel like I look better. Plus, I have a much better idea of what to look for in a bra the next time I buy one without the help of the Bra Whisperer. It was definitely worth the hot and sweaty trip on foot and on the subway. And if you find yourself in New York City, I’d recommend making the trip to 157 Orchard Street in Manhattan as well, if only for the story.

Have you ever had a proper bra fitting? What was that like – and how far off were you in the size you were wearing? And if not, what’s stopping you?

Filed Under: Blogging and Social Media Tagged With: ,
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