Four and a half months ago, in early April, I shared a cloth diaper conundrum with you. To sum up, this was the situation:
- My son Jacob was toilet-trained during the day.
- He was two and a half, and hurtling headlong towards his third birthday.
- His existing cloth diapers weren’t working so well anymore, and I was loathe to lay out cash for new ones since I anticipated that we’d try night-time toilet training in a few months.
- I didn’t really want to buy disposable diapers, either.
Oh, the hand-wringing!
My problem was actually solved a couple of months ago, but I haven’t blogged about it until now because I wanted to make sure everything was really set before I wrote something and jinxed myself. I have been burned by the curse of the internet before, and I have learned not to run my mouth off online at the early stages of a developmental milestone. It’s the surest way to ensure that your kid decides to hold off walking another three months, or never sits on the potty again.
So, here’s how everything actually played out. Sometime around May, Jacob’s diapers totally gave up and I decided to buy a package of disposables. I opted for Seventh Generation diapers in an effort to be slightly less environmentally catastrophic, but I noticed that Jacob was dry at night about half the time, so when those were done I bought a big box of Pull-Ups. I chose them because I could sit Jacob on the potty before I went to sleep at night, as well as first thing in the morning, without having to deal with un-fastening and re-fastening tabs.
And then, sometime around June, we got to the end of the Pull-Ups, and I decided to go for it. We stopped using the night-time diaper altogether and pulled out the protective pads and waterproof mattress cover. And, I am happy to say, things went very well. Jacob sits on the potty before he goes to sleep at night, and I sit him on it again before I go to sleep myself. As long as I take him for that midnight pee he’s generally dry. We have had maybe five accidents total, and he’s even started asking to pee when he wakes up at night.
So, it seems, my gamble paid off. I used cloth diapers for two and a half years, and then in the end I bought a couple of packs of disposables to see me through the gap until Jacob was ready to ditch the night-time diaper. Would it have been better to avoid disposables altogether? Perhaps. But buying new cloth diapers for a two-month window feels like it would have been overkill, particularly since I’m not currently planning another child.
I have to say that I was nervous about toilet-training my son, since conventional wisdom says that boys are harder to potty train than girls, but so far that has not proven to be the case for us. I’m knocking wood as I write that sentence, but it’s the truth. Both kids brought high points and low points on their journey to potty mastery, but in the end Jacob was dry during the day at around the same age that Hannah was, and he’s now dry at night about six months before Hannah was. Perhaps, in the end, an individual child’s developmental curve matters more than their gender.
What was night-time toilet training like for you? Did your kids get it fairly quickly after toilet training during the day, or did the night-time diapers hang around for years? And did you notice a difference between your boys and your girls? I’m curious!
amberstrocel
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Congratulations Jacob! That is absolutely awesome news!
You are a braver woman than I, Amber. Megan still wears a pull up to bed and she’s, uh, closer to four than three. We have to bite the bullet, I know, but with my kids sharing a bedroom and the baby still nowhere near to sleeping through the night, the last thing I want is another wake-up. So I’m weak, and use the damn pull-ups. They are pretty much never dry in the morning, so maybe Megan’s not ready anyway? We cloth diaper Emily about 60% of the time, since our bumgenius diapers are not as tight around the thighs as they used to be, so we can’t use them reliably for longer periods of time or overnight. Megan was cd’d 99% of the time from 6 days old onwards, so I feel mildly guilty about this, but really, I’ve become less of a diaper nazi than I was with my first (as it sounds like you did – buying disposables! pull ups even!).
eva’s last post … Emily at Ten Months
Twitter: AmberStrocel
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The truth is that my first was totally in disposables. I had to come around to cloth – so I honestly can’t judge anyone’s disposable diaper use.
Well, the Poptart is >thisclosethisclose<. Now if only she'd go sit on the toilet without prompting.
Nicole’s last post … Traverse Trip: Technology Retrospective
Twitter: bluebirdmama
says:
My daughter has been WAY harder to toilet train than my son.
Yay for you and Jacob. I’m glad it was an easy-ish road for you. And sorry about that bit of disposables at the end. Noa has never once worn a disposable diaper and I would have really been wringing my hands over that decision too. But in the end, 2 packs of diapers in a landfill is nothing compared to what it would have been if you hadn’t used cloth for 2.5 years!!
Bluebirdmama’s last post … Easy as 1-2-3
Twitter: jenarbo
says:
Hopefully I don’t curse myself, but essentially Kale figured out staying dry all night before he figured out how to pull his own pants down. He potty trained pretty easily, I will admit. I think we caught it at the right time and place and lucked out by doing the right thing he needed. He was cloth the whole time, except he had a disposable every night (he got a rash if I didn’t) and we used disposables for the first month or two.
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Maya figured out staying dry overnight before she was daytime potty trained. She woudl wake up dry, but pee a huge waterfall within minutes of waking, before you could get her out of bed. Once she toilet trained and figured out how to make herself go pee, not just wait until it was imminent, she was able to go potty right before she went to bed and would then wake dry in the morning and be fine until we put her on the potty. We waited probably clsoe to a month after she was fully toilet trained in the daytime to make sure there were no problems (she had chronic constipation issues and until she toilet trained she usually pooped in her sleep, though only once every 3 or 4 days even with the medication she was receiving — and we needed to know she was over that before going diaper free!) Then we just decided to take the plunge one day, and she was just fine. It’s been almost a year and she’s only had 1 or 2 night time accidents.
I EC’d with both boys (with diapers as backup). My 1st was dry at night before being dry during the day. But at 2 yrs we took off the diaper (for day and night) and never looked back. He wet his bed maybe only once after that. My 2nd, goes in the toilet pretty consistently at 20 months old. But he nurses all night long and so pees a lot overnight too.
So, I’m curious about when you say this: “and I sit him on it again before I go to sleep myself. As long as I take him for that midnight pee he’s generally dry”. How did you do that? Do you wake him? Doesn’t he get upset? I’d love to try this but the reason we didn’t EC at night is because my boy got really upset if I tried to move him to make him pee. Tips would be appreciated:)
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Twitter: AmberStrocel
says:
With my first, lots of moms recommended the midnight pee, and I was terrified of waking my sleeping child and then being up all night. But I’ve done it with both kids now, and that hasn’t happened.
I just pick up my sleeping child, pull their pants down and sit them on the potty, and whisper, “It’s time to pee,” in their ear. If you’re ECing, you could use a cue sound or word. Generally, the kid pees pretty quickly, and I put them back in bed where they roll over and continue sleeping. Neither of them ever really woke up or needed re-settling, and it honestly takes like one or two minutes. It’s scary to try it at first, but it really works for us! It’s WAY less disturbing than a wet kid waking up at 2am, for sure.
Eventually, I’ll stop doing this, but for now it’s an added safety net that I’m not ready to give up.
At 26 months my boys barely fit their one-size cloth (okay, they have plumbers, being so tall, but I still overlap the tabs because they are skinny). I am not forking over cash for more cloth but they are not even daytime trained.
I really need to work on it. I think nighttime will be very hard. If I take them during the night like you do, they will wake. If they wake, they will play with each other (for hours) before going back to sleep. Sigh. It will happen eventually I guess.
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My oldest daughter was my easiest train, my son so far the hardest, although he started out really easy by announcing one day that “Superman no wear diapers!” Only trouble was when he regressed, and retraining proved far, far more difficult.
My youngest is 2.5, so I’m thinking it’s time to nudge her a little harder on potty training. She’s not terribly interested, but will sit on the potty. Nothing has ever happened there so far, although we’ve had the occasional accident before getting a fresh cloth diaper on her after, ugh!
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I think my comment got eaten. Just as well because we had two wet pullups today. Gah.
Nicole’s last post … Traverse Trip: Technology Retrospective
Twitter: mothersofchange
says:
My biological kids all have ridiculously large bladders, and kid #1 and #3 were dry all night from 8 months on. Kid #2 has medical bladder problems and still wears a pullup (well, the life brand from Shoppers) at night although he is 7.
I’ve tried the midnight pee lots of times with him: he cries like he’s dying and he’s loopy and confused and won’t pee. It doesn’t work for us.
Kudos on only buying two packs of sposies in his whole life!?!! crazy. I used cloth on all 4, but certainly the odd pack of sposies pupped up. But once #2 hit about 3 years old they made him smell like pee in the day so we went to pull ups at night instead of cloth. I found the 7th Generations pull ups style ONCE in Thriftys in Victoria but never since. I’d buy those if I could! =S Dang Langley and all its conformism…..grrr….
Melissa Vose’s last post … No Nursing in the Nursery?
Twitter: AmberStrocel
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OK, I have to engage in some full disclosure here. We used disposables during Jacob’s first week of life, and then we also used disposables when traveling. I was not about to wash poopy diapers away from home. I know people do, but that was my particular line in the sand. I would guess that Jacob went through maybe six-eight packs of disposables, including the last two.
Still, far better overall than my daughter Hannah, who was all disposables, all the time.
Twitter: mothersofchange
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Still verrrrry impressive! I think its great whenever we can reduce what goes to the landfill as far as diapers (or anything really) is concerned! We did best with #3 when we had a diaper service because we paid the same regardless of how many cloth diapers we used. I’m thrifty so this motivated me to use cloth as much as possible. Camping is my line in the sand. =)
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Twitter: mothersofchange
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oops, “popped up” not pupped.
Melissa Vose’s last post … No Nursing in the Nursery?
Oh, who can remember the details?
We used cloth diapers for the first 6 kids.
When they get past two, they’re ready to get potty trained. Cloth are too lumpy and wet, and ugh.
But then kid #7 had eczema at two. I bought a package of disposables to see if they’d help his rash.
They did. They helped! They were so slim and dry and wonderful I couldn’t believe it.
Disposables used to be expensive and leaky.
Not anymore.
I never went back. Kids 8, 9, and 10 wore disposables within a month after they were born, and potty trained at the same ages as the others.
Boys, girls, we’ve had some of each with the more delicate “pee-ers.”
Time.
Staying out of it. Ignore, and provide dry pants in a handy basket. Whatever you do, don’t get into it over wet pants. You will live to regret it. Nobody who could choose dry pants would choose wet. Keep that in mind. And a person’s pants are really their own business, no matter what we’re told. Plug your ears. Listen to your kid–especially when he’s not saying anything either.
Bodies mature at their own speed.
That’s my story. love, Val
Val’s last post … friday, yes
I’m only through one of three trainings (my kids are 4, 2, and 0) and bedtime wasn’t “an issue” for us, so waking a kid up to pee never occurred to us, but it’s a good idea I’ll keep in my back pocket for #2 and #3.
My first (a boy) daytime trained really quickly but then wore a pullup at night for months and months. But he woke up with a dry pullup almost every single day. So we reused them. Reuseable disposables! We’d usually get almost a week out of each one before they’d lost so much shape they were useless. That went on for months but he kept asking for a pullup at bedtime despite “not needing” them, so we let him have them (though we didn’t offer or encourage either). Then all of a sudden he started waking up with a wet pullup every other day for a month or so, so I’m glad we hadn’t pressed the issue and taken the pullups away. After that he weaned himself off the pullups, asking less and less frequently. He’s only ever wet the bed a handful of times.
My second (a girl) is 26 months. She really really wants to train and she goes through all the motions independently, including wiping and hand-washing. but does not have the physical maturity. I’m quite certain that she does not recognise or receive urge-to-pee signals. Unless she happens to be naked and sees herself peeing, she only acknowledges the pee once she feels really went (by which time she’s done peeing). Nor can she “make herself pee.” Starting around 18-mo, we used to put my oldest on the toilet every night before bath and he produced some pee every single time. We’ve been doing the same with her for about 8 months and nada. She has almost never produced anything. So I’m pretty confident that she’s just not ready (but hoping that once she is, she train very quickly because she’s so motivated and practised so much!
Congrats on getting through it all!
I was able to use cloth for about 2years and am thinking of going back to cloth. My son was potty trained in the day at 2 1/2 for everything and has been excellent. So I just use disposables at night. But he just turned 4 and I am thinking of trying to get back into cloth to help him to feel wet and be able to be fully trained. As a single mom giving up sleep is my honest roadblock… But I love your articles I find them so helpful and it motivates me to do/ try many things. I may just get back at this!
Twitter: JnJGoGreen
says:
We are starting to talk about toilet training and I am terrified about how much poop there may be in my future.
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