It’s Thursday, and I’m Crafting my Life! Or, more specifically, I’m Crafting my Christmas, since today is Christmas Eve and all. So grab some hot chocolate, turn up the Bing Crosby, and join me.
I am not very good at Christmas, I’ll put it right out there. I make far too many promises, to myself and to others. I am currently in a last minute sewing frenzy, and I haven’t done any of the baking I swore I would do. I just love the idea of a holiday that involves handmade ornaments and lots of special moments with the kids. The problem, of course, is that what is supposed to be a happy moment turns into two children hopped up on sugar, a kitchen that is so sticky the cat is affixed to the floor, and me crying because I just wanted to make memories. The reality of life can’t possibly live up to the picture in my head.
I pay a lot of lip service to how I’m cutting back and not doing so much, but when push comes to shove I try to do all of it. All of it. I’m dragging the kids to Christmas pageants and holiday shows and ornament making classes. I re-decorate the tree twice a day, even as my kids un-decorate it. I host parties and dinners and make sure my kids see Santa in every possible venue available to them. And I give myself a massive guilt trip because, yet again, I didn’t manage to get the Christmas cards written up this year. It’s crazy-making.
Why do I do this? Why do I allow my life to become a whirling dervish of holiday festivities? It’s a good question. My best answer is that I am a pleaser. I want to be good and do the good thing, and that means a whole heaping plate full of sugar cookies and mild insanity.
It’s not all bad, the maelstrom of holiday cheer. Hannah is almost 5 years old, and she is at the height of magical thinking. She believes in Christmas and Santa and angels and fairies and the power of wishes. She is enchanted by lights and decorations and holiday treats. That enthusiasm just spills over the rest of us until we are sort of enchanted, too. This year the holidays are not really about me at all, and that makes it a little easier. Because no matter what I’m doing, I know that at least one person will appreciate it ardently. She will remember these days as the magical Christmases of her childhood, and forget about the sticky floors.
Perhaps next year I will get better at setting boundaries for myself. Perhaps next year I will not find myself trying frantically to sew the last Christmas gift an hour before the guests arrive. Perhaps next year I will get the cards in the mail, or even remember to buy cards at all. It could happen. But for this year I’m making the best of the table I’ve set for myself. It’s not even all that bad here, if you can pause long enough to enjoy it.
How do you create a holiday you can live with? What have you let go? Or, are you joining me in the late-night scramble and insanity? I would love to know!
I think it’s good to remember that your idea of perfect is different from your kids’ idea – maybe you can ask them what their favorite part of Christmas is, and then concentrate on that next year. Do they care about seeing Santa more than once? Do they even notice perfect decorations in your house? Maybe instead of stressing about your own decor, you could take them out to oh and ah over the decorations at other houses. (It’s a tradition in my family to pile in the car and ogle the lights/displays in the ritzy neighborhoods – I never minded that our house wasn’t fancy.)
My Christmases the past two years were much less stressful in some ways b/c I decided to make presents for (extended) family rather than buying. I didn’t know what to buy anyway, and it always felt like we were just exchanging money. Now that I’m making things, it feels more personal (although that brings on a stress of its own to finish up by 12/24!).
Also, several weeks ago I searched and found a handful of cool projects to do with Kieran, and we’ve slowly been working our way through them. Did I do everything? No, but we’ve had fun with what we did have time for.
I hope you can relax and enjoy the rest of your Christmas Eve & Christmas day!!
.-= Dionna´s last post ..All Aboard! =-.
I am trying to keep it simple. We have a tree. There will be presents. But that is mostly it.
Since I don’t go to the malls with the kids, they don’t see Santa at all some years…. is that wrong? (I did make a point of going to the “quiet” mall once a year when they were younger for the photo, no fancy Santa’s Village or anything though). They never particularly enjoyed sittng on Santa’s knee (A.K.A. a Stranger’s knee) and never ever believed that guy was the REAL Santa no matter how good the beard.
I learned quite a few years ago now that pageants are hell with an ADHD kid, and so are ornament making workshops. (I end up exhausted and other parents look at me like I brought a spoiled wild animal to ruin their day) And now he is 12 so the magic is rapidly being squelched by aproaching hormones…. it is sad really. As for the younger one, his pageant and workshop days were over before they began thanks to his brother’s energetic temperment.
But you know what? They still LOVE Christmas! It’s not about the activities, it’s about family and peace on earth and the spirit of generosity!
For me, Christmas card writing is a priority (it is what I do to kick-off the season). It’s the only time I seem to have to write to far-off relatives! Baking is a must because I exchange with one friend it is our gift to each other and our kids. I have the kids involved in one of the treats, if they are interested. And I did not do anything but the bare minimum when they were very young …. I hate sticky cats too, and my husband abhores kitchen mess! We decline party invitations except to the work ones — I am the first to admit we are fairly hermit-like for the holidays. And mostly I am very happy with it.
In our home the tree goes through decorating a few million times too…. dog, cat and two busy boys keep me hopping with ornaments and a tree around!
.-= *pol´s last post ..SANTA IS COMING! =-.
I pick a few things that are important to me and make sure I do them. The rest is icing on the cake. What is most important to you? What do you want to ensure the kids will remember and find joy in when they get older? For me it’s letters to Santa on Christmas Eve, making at least one batch of cookies, listening to Christmas songs and pulling out the old gravy boat (see my post for explanation.) If we get to a pageant – great. If not, maybe it will happen next year instead. As long as they’re Christmas books in the house and we’re reading those stories and singing those songs, Christmas just happens.
.-= Melodie´s last post ..Gravy: When Old Traditions Meet New =-.
I’m right with you. I talk about cutting back then I bake and decorate and wrap and schedule myself into a frenzy. Then at some point I say ‘that’s enough’ and enjoy that feeling of ‘it feels so good when I stop’.
I’m at my sister’s. I just had a nap. My daughter is in the tub so she can put on her new grandma-made pjs. Christmas is good.
It’s easier for me not to get caught up in trying to make a perfect Christmas because I have no sewing or knitting skills at all. I’m also not the best baker. This lack of domestic knowledge makes it a bit easier for me to slack. I actually really admire all your craftiness. I was thinking I should really learn how to use my sewing machine and I’ve bookmarked at least 20 crafting sites in the past week so that I can monitor them in readiness for next year. The thing is I doubt I will ever get too crazy because my family just doesn’t appreciate it. I baked gingerbread last night and instead of appreciating my effort my husband wondered why I was wasting my time. The kids don’t really care either. Maybe they will one day but until then all the Christmas craziness (I am going to make a super-fab dinner tomorrow) is really just for me. I like it so I do it.
Have a great day tomorrow!
.-= Marilyn´s last post ..Of All the Things I’ve Lost, I Miss my Bladder Control the Most =-.
Good luck with the boundaries! The hardest one to give up this year was the idea of having the boys make cute Christmas art for the grandparents, but the amount of wheedling and exhaustion was just not going to work this year.
By the way, novelist John Scalzi posted pictures of their family gingerbread house today:
http://whatever.scalzi.com/2009/12/24/the-little-gingerbread-house-that-couldnt/
.-= Lady M´s last post ..Riverdance Live! =-.
Merry Christmas