It’s Thursday and I’m Crafting my Life! August’s theme is creativity. Whether your dreams involve painting or writing or growing food or taking lots of naps, tapping into your creativity is an important part of changing your life. In the past 2 weeks I talked about practicing creativity and making art in your everyday life. This week I’m talking about the intersection of silliness and creativity.
I think that we often view creative pursuits as childish. Children love to make up songs, experiment with musical instruments, draw and paint, and play imagination games. In fact, as a parent, I encourage my children to follow their hearts and their creativity. I believe that play and creativity are the work of childhood. They give kids a chance to explore their world from many perspectives, to try on different roles, and to experiment with what works. Through play they learn about themselves and others in a safe and healthy way.
At some point, though, we’re expected to leave all that behind. If I skipped down the street singing a song about all the things I could see, I would get strange looks from most people. But if my 5-year-old did it, especially in a child-friendly space, most people would smile. Youthful exuberance is something that is only OK when you’re young. As an adult if you have a particular skill at painting or music, pursuing it in a structured way is OK. But you’re not really supposed to bust out the sidewalk chalk and decorate your neighbourhood.
I think this social convention that says grown-ups must be practical and serious is the biggest obstacle we face in embracing and pursuing creativity. It takes a lot of self-confidence to step outside social norms and let your passion loose. More than I have myself, a lot of the time. When I wrote chalk affirmations on my local playground for the Mondo Beyondo course I felt extremely uncomfortable. What if someone saw me, and wanted to know what I was doing? What if they thought the whole thing was silly?
Why am I so afraid that one of my neighbours – a person whose first name I probably don’t even know – might think I’m silly? I could come up with a lot of reasons. Humans are social animals, and so we care about the opinions of others. We seek social cohesion. I have a vision of how I want others to view me, and ‘silly’ isn’t one of the items on that list. I want people to respect me and my grown-up-ness. And on and on and on.
But let’s leave all that aside, for a moment. I think there’s a bigger and better question about my fear of looking silly – what would I do if I didn’t have that fear? How would my life be different? What could I accomplish if I was willing to risk looking a little bit silly as I followed my dreams?
When I look at it that way, I feel much less fearful. In 50 years I won’t look back on my life and say, “I wish I had been more reserved and serious all the time.” Who would wish for that? Even now, in my mid-30s, I look back 10 or 15 years and think, “I wish I hadn’t been so afraid of taking risks and failing. I wish I had appreciated the freedom I had while I had it. I wish that I had taken more time to dream and be creative.”
The good news is that it’s not too late for me to quit worrying about looking silly and embrace my creative heart. In fact, I think that it’s never too late. If anyone decides to look down their nose at my antics, that’s their choice. But I would rather risk a little scorn from perfect strangers, than risk letting my life pass me by to avoid their potential scorn.
Do you feel afraid of looking silly in front of others? How do you think that affects you? How do you overcome it? Please share!
August’s Crafting my Life series is about creativity. On the last Thursday of the month, which just happens to be the 26th, I will include a link up. To participate, write a post on creativity anytime in August, or track down a post you’ve written on the subject sometime in the past, and add yourself to the list. Then read everyone else’s ideas and thoughts and be inspired! Check out the link-ups from January, February and March to get a feel for how it works.
Hi Amber,
Being silly is fun and having kids has certainly taught me that. I’m trying to think of a moment when i was silly in public and it’s usually when I block out my surroundings and focus on my kids
Tanya’s last post … Parenting a three year old
I definitely use my kids as an excuse to be silly. And even alone, since I’ve dealt medicinally with my anxiety issues, I sometimes act silly in public — sometimes it goes horribly wrong, but sometimes you realize that many people are just dying for some anti-routine silliness to show up in their day.
allison’s last post … I Cant Go On- Ill Go On
as an outsider, i juggle constantly with wanting to fit in with the in-crowd and continuing to follow my own path. appearing ‘silly’ in public doesn’t terrify me cos i’ve always assumed i do anyway. when you have zero expectations that way then you’ve nothing to lose, i just try to do it gracefully and with style
yesterday i led my 7y old wee guy on a stomping clattering bounce across some cast iron sheets covering an excavation in the pavement – it felt good for us both and we caught at least one driver grinning
however, now my ‘not giving a damn’ is tinged with the ache of wishing my wee guy to escape all the outsideriness i remember from my own growing up whilst realising that a certain amount of feisty ‘staying outside the crowd’ gives strength and character in later years
pomomama’s last post … friday forte- happy and content
When I’m alone with the kids I don’t mind being silly, but I get self-conscious about being silly in front of other people. I’m always a little in awe of people who will do their whole kid/silly routine openly without a second thought.
I will trade you a jar of saskatoon jam for blackberry….saskatoons I have in abundance, but I miss those blackberries….and I will be down in a month!
Heather’s last post … Thing 1 and Thing 2
I am silly by nature. I love being myself, sometimes with the wrong people I will let my silliness out, and I get “the look” …but for the most part no-one seems to mind too much. Sometimes I am afraid that I come across as immature or even bubble-headed, but I can’t force a game-face for long.
I did get an “act your age” comment from a very stern person, but quickly dismissed it as a ridiculous request!
My son once commented casually that I am much sillier than his friends’ moms. At first I was horrified — but only for a fraction of a second. After that I was sad for the other moms and curious how they functioned day to day.
Honestly… dancing around my kitchen, running after my kids with my arms out to tickle, silly faces, bad jokes and sitting down to play on the floor are all part of who I am and I hope that never changes (even after the boys find it embarassing!). And I think you are right making the silly-creative connection! I love silly and I love creative, and I think I am generally a happier person for not fighting it!
*pol’s last post … Garden Joy
Yes, I fear looking silly. I do wonder what I’d do if I didn’t fear it. I’d probably dress more interestingly for one thing. Hmmmmm…this is inspiring!
AmberDusick’s last post … shopping the garden
You’re so right when you say, “In 50 years I won’t look back on my life and say, ‘I wish I had been more reserved and serious all the time.’” There’s nothing more regretful than regret itself. I say be silly till your silly-maker’s dead
Jessica – This is Worthwhile’s last post … 2-05 pm- My nursemaid is SO unprofessional
I had a lot of thoughts going through my head about how much I love and agree with the post but it all basically comes down to – WELL SAID!
I think what helps me when I feel like the BIGGEST cheeseball doing some of the things I do is looking at others who have overcome that fear and being inspired. Just like you are inspiring others now! Good work
Wendy Irene’s last post … New! Wondrous Wednesday – Favorite View
I regularly worry about this. It is what keeps me from leaping at new opportunities. I’m trying to change that pattern. Much of what my ‘art’ will either succeed and make me look brilliant, or fail miserably and possibly (gasp!) look ticky tacky. It’s such a fine line. When I’m putting it all out there and blogging the experience, I can’t help but wonder how this looks to an outsider. But when I stop caring and start doing, I end up marveling at myself, and thinking ‘yes, it was brilliant to turn a firepit into a planter!’
Laura’s last post … A seasonal shift in the front Garden
There have been several occasions when the neighbors, strangers, and even friends have seen me being silly with my girls. I’m not sure what they think of my antics, but I really don’t care; my daughters love it when I’m being a goof, and I love the fact they love it. And I know when they grow up they’re going to remember the tickle-attacks in the middle of Save-on-Foods, the singing in the car as we place an order at the drive-through…then again, I’ll remember it fondly too.
You mentioned, “I have a vision of how I want others to view me, and ‘silly’ isn’t one of the items on that list.” When I see an adult acting goofy and having fun I don’t think of them as being silly; I see them as someone who is confident enough in who they are that they don’t care what other people think.
Now that your post has me thinking about creativity…I’m going to get some sidewalk chalk and draw a big picture and maybe print some encouraging words on our driveway. I’m not very artistic (at all), but I can print big block letters…thanks for inspiring me, Amber!
One of the things I love about the vintage dance community is that events include a big imaginative dress-up component – one ball will be Victorian-themed or Roaring Twenties, another is Steampunk or even science fiction. It definitely gives an “ok” to being silly. I miss getting out and dancing more often. It’ll be easier when the kids get a little older. Then they can come too!
Lady M’s last post … Countdown D-1
Yes, I do! But I’m getting better as I age.
Francesca’s last post … On my kitchen table