Today’s Thursday so I’m Crafting my Life! I’m hard at work on the Crafting my Life e-course. While I work on that, I’m shaking things up over here. I’m continuing the “crafting your life” theme through January, in which I welcome guest contributors to share their journey with you. This week, it’s the awesome life-crafting Harriet.
Newsflash! Having a baby fundamentally and irrevocably changes your life. Suddenly, everything is subject to change.
In my pre-parenthood days, I had a stable 9 to 5 job as a communications manager for a small arts organization. In my spare time, I attended gallery openings and movies, hiked, met friends for brunch and sat in cafes lazily wondering what my future would look like. I was also stuck. I wasn’t happy where I was, and I didn’t have a plan. I needed something to shake me up.
The out-of-the blue arrival of my son Theo, now 18-months, did just that. A job that wasn’t quite doing it for me wasn’t a good enough reason to be away from my son. When my parental leave was up, I didn’t go back to work.
Since becoming a parent, I’ve had this dizzying feeling of being in perpetual motion and constant transition. “He’s sleeping! He’s not sleeping! He’s climbing! He’s falling! He’s eating. He’s not eating! He doesn’t need me! He needs me!†Despite this, I’m amazed at how many new things I’ve learned over the last year-and-a-half. I started an adoption blog, regularly comment on other blogs, and tweet with abandon (an embarrassing 18,700 and climbing). I’ve attended tweetups, mom events and sat on a panel at the Northern Voice social media conference. I’ve met some amazing women and their well-documented kids. I joined a business book club (this month’s book is Sociable by Steve Jagger), and try to attend momcafé for inspiration and socialization.
All this momentum led me to a few writing and PR contracts. By the time my EI ran out at nine months, I had enough work to justify going it alone. Since September, I’ve been working steadily with a local PR company doing research, blogging, social media strategies, outreach, and media relations.
Still, the quirky people who inhabit the border world of the arts were no longer part of my daily life and I missed them. When a friend suggested we podcast chats with artists about social media, I leapt at the chance. I’ve long held a secret dream of working in public radio, and our weekly podcasts allow me to experiment. I’m also on the Roundhouse Community Centre program committee, which keeps my toe in the arts.
But what about Theo? If you think I’m doing all this while he naps, let me laugh for a few minutes (ha ha ha ha). Firstly, he barely naps, and secondly he doesn’t watch Dora or The Wiggles (yet). If he’s awake, he’ll be on the counter pulling toxic chemicals or glasses out of the cupboards. We are lucky to have a nice setup where my neighbor, who lives below us and has a young daughter, takes him for one day a week, and Theo’s grandfather takes him for two days. I use these days for work and look for additional help where needed.
When I look at all that, I think “Wow, what a superstar I am!†On the surface, I seem to be on a roll. But I have challenges. Working alone with only my cyber-friends for company makes me feel disconnected and lonely sometimes. I get sucked into virtual black holes (Twitter, I want that hour back!) and I wonder about other dreams (radio and academics) and how to fit them in.
I’m also a sucker for stability. I feel better with a schedule and a regular paycheck. I like to know what the plan for dinner is and what we’re doing this weekend. So I try to stay balanced, because as unfashionable as it is to be balanced these days, I need a good night’s sleep, I need time with my son, I need fresh air and exercise, and I need to feel good. I try to achieve balance through craft nights, working in cafes, and getting outside daily.
I don’t know what the future holds but I do know that I’ve grown more in the last 18-months than I did in the previous ten years. I just need to stay calm, watch for the signs, and remember that everything is subject to change.
Harriet Fancott is a mom, web writer / PR associate, arts enthusiast, newbie podcaster and nature-lover. She blogs about open adoption at See Theo Run and about movies at www.karmavore.com. Her twitter handle is @harrietglynn. Sidenote: Glynn is her middle name, which came from her grandfather Gore Glynn St John (pronounced Sinjin) Ouseley.
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Twitter: RachaelNevins
says:
Wow. It sounds like you’ve done exactly what I hope that I’m doing now, which I call “growing the new life inside the old one”: pursuing my interests, giving myself over to whatever I’m working on, with the expectation that by doing so, I’m taking myself somewhere I want to be. To be more specific, I’m trying to (gradually) shed an old career and start a new (and, fortunately, similar) one. It’s so much easier to do so as a freelancing WAHM than with a full-time job! I’m really impressed at the velocity with which you’ve changed everything for yourself, as well as with the great variety of what you do. Plus, oh my goodness, what a beautiful family!
Rachael’s last post … Keep Your Desk Clean
Thanks Rachel! I love the word velocity. That is exactly how it feels, a like a whoooosh. Shedding the old career can be very difficult. Good luck
harriet Fancott’s last post … Theo at 18 months
Twitter: pomomama
says:
your last paragraph resonated so much with me
what a beautiful blog post
pomomama’s last post … plainly speaking
Thanks pomo. YOU are an inspiration crafty lady!
harriet Fancott’s last post … Theo at 18 months
Well, I for one want to join the Harriet Fancott Fan Club.
A great post. I had a non-napper…who also pulled things out of the cupboards. Come to think of it, my twins still fit these criteria.
I’m curious about podcasts. Any tips?
Ironic Mom’s last post … When Kids Learn Hip Hop
I’ll take that ironically
The secret to podcasting is to have someone else figure out the technical end. Sometimes we do them live around a little black box and other times over Skype. Totalyl amazing. Because of him, you can even subcribe in itunes (which I’m quite sure NO ONE is doing 
LOL.
I have no idea how I come off but I enjoy doing it.
Here’s the link just because: http://fullbleedartsmarketing.com/podcast-launch-of-full-bleed-arts-marketing
harriet Fancott’s last post … Theo at 18 months
I love hearing about your days sounds like mine! Your family is so beautiful. I still have fond funny memories of that panel.
Isn’t it funny how things turn out? I’m taking a short break from scheduling to write this note, because since resigning from my position at our local University I seem to have developed a whole new batch of projects. Projects at home, projects for helpamotherout.org, consulting for my old work place and I just got out of a meeting with a local hospital about social media stuff! It is thrilling, but working with social media I think requires great discipline, not to become lost in the black hole. I’m fascinated in the finding of balance, especially as we hope to adopt and add another child to our family.
Great post Harriet! You’ve inspired me!
Twitter: writingmomoirs
says:
What a beautiful family, Harriet. Amazing that you have figured it all out so quickly. It took me
years – some painful, miserable years to figure out how to be the mom I want to be, and how
to find work that can fit around that. I love the writing in your post, too, but mostly, I love the
title. Now there’s a good book title!
Twitter: torturedpotato
says:
A really inspiring story..and the photos made me smile. Isn’t it nice when you write down all the stuff you do and are amazed at yourself!
And ps: I love the last line of your post. Too true and so succinctly put.
Twitter: MarilynBelsham
says:
Look at you go! Having a kid DOES change everything but it seems like everything changed the better for you. Here’s to change.
Marilyn @ A Lot of Loves’s last post … Help Me Decide! Take the Poll
Twitter: fuoriborgo
says:
Sounds like you’ve got the art of making the very best of what you have figured out!
Francesca’s last post … Keeping warm this weekend
Twitter: osnsmom
says:
Harriet, you’re awesome! It is so true, being a parent fundamentally changes you. You’re right. Your priorities change, what is important to you changes. Children do that to us. Wonderful post!
Old School / New School Mom’s last post … Thomas- A Grinch- and Wilhelm The Assembly Man