It’s Thursday and I’m Crafting my Life! This month I’m writing about deciding what you want and going after it. Today, I’ll begin at the beginning.
The question of what you want seems easy enough. Any child can answer it, right? My 4-year-old certainly can. At any given moment she can tell you definitively what she wants, without waffling or couching her desires in obtuse language. There is a clarity of purpose in her that is really admirable, in its own way. As adults, though, we bring baggage to the table when we ask ourselves this question, and as a result the answers don’t come as easily to us.
What is this baggage? This baggage is each and every experience, good and bad, that we’ve had in our lives. But heavy on the bad, because negativity always seems overly inflated in our minds. Every time that some kid laughed at us, every time a teacher didn’t appreciate the effort we poured into a project and every time that we came in 17th in the science fair we amassed baggage and we learned not to get our hopes up. We learned to ask ourselves who we were to want greatness, and what made us so special after all.
Baggage isn’t all bad, since it can serve as a protective mechanism. Sometimes not taking a risk is the best choice – think laying your entire life savings down on a spin of the roulette wheel. Being careful and practical and safe has its place, and so does fitting in with the group and getting along with others. The challenge is figuring out when the baggage is useful and when it’s just hindering us from realizing our goals and pursuing good things. Gaining clarity about what it is that you really want is one good way to see what is helping and what is hurting.
If knowing what you want is good, how do you discover what that really is? Everyone is different, of course, but I think the key is to turn off your conscious mind as much as you can. You’re trying to mute that voice that evaluates and criticizes your every thought and feeling. When you’re not telling yourself that you’re being silly you stand a better chance of getting to the heart of the matter. Here are a few ways that I’ve managed to do that:
Once you get the ideas flowing, you may find that a lot of them come to the surface in very short order. You may be surprised by some of the things that come up, or you may not. At this point, don’t worry too much about practicalities and implementation. That part can come later. For now, give yourself the same freedom we give our children to want what you want, for no other reason than that.
January’s Crafting my Life series is about what you want and going after it. On the last Thursday of the month, which just happens to be the 28th, I will include a link up. To participate, write a post on this month’s theme sometime during January, and add yourself to the list. Then go off and read everyone else’s ideas and thoughts and be inspired!
Pen and paper always works for me, there’s something about the flow of it that opens me up. Great post!
.-= Summer´s last post ..Sally Kern Says No Divorce For You =-.
Until we moved to New York and walking became an everyday part of my life, I never knew what I was missing. With Riverside Park (on the Hudson) a block away, I started to take strolls with no purpose. It has become the cure for anything that ails. I suppose that it is the act of moving through space with only minimal resistance that makes me believe that I can carry through anything. Talk about a magnificent realization.
I’m not sure. One of the good things about getting older is that I’ve realized that a lot of the things I used to think I wanted are really not that important. I’m still working on it, and I don’t want to stop working for more, but at this point, I think maybe what I want is very close to what I have. I just have to work on being aware of that more.
.-= Allison´s last post ..**************Teething Problems =-.
I have always been goal oriented. Give me goal; I can achieve it. The problem is when you discover that you have no clue what the goal is. I have been struggling for years now to come up with “What I want to do when I grow up.”
These are excellent tips and I am reminded that Einstein did not watch videos but daydreamed a lot.
.-= harrietglynn´s last post ..WordPress.com: Now on HootSuite =-.
EXCELLENT POST!
I always do well with pan and paper myself. Love strolls with the dog (and my camera) , etc.
Still I am not sure what I really want, maybe it’s because I already have the things I think are important to me.
.-= *pol´s last post ..Winter Walk =-.
I definitely want a Spice Girls video in your next Crafting My Life post
Other than that, I have no idea what I want
.-= Carrie´s last post ..Professional Interrogators ain’t got nuthin on my kids =-.
This is a great post! I believe in writing in a notebook wholeheartedly. I feel that my ideas flow from my brain to my hand to the paper and that it is an energizing experience.
Great post.
I am definitely a pen and paper girl too. And a walker. A baker / cook when thinking.
Figuring out what I want took me a long time. But I am on my way now… several journals filled, long walks taken… later
.-= Mel´s last post ..Day 7: Love is all you need =-.
not surprisingly, i really like your thursdays! i just wanted to say that
.-= robin´s last post ..this post is not ready to publish =-.
I know what I want — it’s to have written a book. It’s the actual writing part that’s the problem. Actually it’s making the time for the writing.
.-= Angela White´s last post ..International Delurking Week 2010! =-.
I always get the best ideas (usually for the blog) when I’m nursing my little one off to sleep. And of course I never have any paper next to the bed! And of course the thought never remains as clear in my mind half an hour later when I go to write it down. Ack! But making to-do lists helps me immensely. I can’t believe how much I can get done when I remember to write things down.
.-= Melodie´s last post ..Do Hormones Really Account for a Mom’s Ability to Breastfeed?? =-.
These are great. Every now and then I like to ask myself “If time and money were no object, what would I want to do most?” Or, even scarier: “If I never had to worry about anyone laughing at me, what dream would I pursue?” Or my favorite all-purpose life troubleshooter: “What’s the worst thing that could happen if I pursued X?”
Often just putting it in stark words helps me realize that I’ve built up obstacles in my mind that don’t exist in reality, or at least that don’t exist as large as I’ve imagined them.
.-= Meagan Francis´s last post ..Five obstacles to mom happiness =-.
“At this point, don’t worry too much about practicalities and implementation” – that is my biggest obstacle. My biggest issue is ignoring the practical while I’m trying to figure out what it is that I want. It’s rare that I can ever shut-up my naysayer in the back of my head. If I can muzzle her for a bit I find going for a long walk all by myself helps me to generate ideas.
.-= Marilyn´s last post ..The List That Wasn’t =-.
So true, about children saying what they want. At age 5, a whole room full of kids will say they can sing, draw, dance, etc. It’s only later that we get inhibited . . . and start carrying baggage.
.-= Lady M´s last post ..The Secret Schemes of Bath Manipulators =-.
I’m also not really sure what I want for ME.
.-= Francesca´s last post ..How to transplant your fake tree =-.
Love this post.
I am a big fan of pen and paper but have gotten away from it lately. I need to keep a notepad nearby again.
Alone time is when I do my best thinking, but rather than walks, it’s in a hot bubble bath. I’m warm, cozy and the silence makes me think. Maybe I need a waterproof tablet around the tub!
Looking forward to more in your series…
.-= Rebecca´s last post ..School Registration is coming – Avoid the School Supply Stress =-.
I really love the idea of giving ourselves the freedom we give to our children!! And crafting works well for me too.
I’m an extremely driven person. I set a goal and I achieve it.
What’s really frustrating is that I don’t know what goals to set for myself…I just don’t know what I want. I’m hoping my inspiration will magically appear
I love this post! I love the comments & that so many of us can admit having blockages with goals. It’s like writer’s block. (maybe that will crack it open for some of us.) Here’s hoping! Writing things down on paper right when I think of them is good. Walking is good too. Sometimis I have to talk about things to make them come out of my head. Walking in woods somewhere I haven’t been in a while with someone familiar is the best though.