I spend a lot of time telling my 4-year-old Hannah to wait, to not touch things, to keep her fingers out of that. It’s not something I’m terribly proud of, but it’s a daily reality of life with a preschooler. They don’t have very good impulse control, they have a hard time waiting, and they don’t always particularly want to share. Who can blame them? I feel the same way a lot of the time, I just have the necessary social graces not to let on (much).
In the midst of the admonitions to keep her fingers out of the cookie dough we’re mixing or to stop throwing around dirt in the garden, Hannah has created some characters out of her imagination. They are ‘Finger Friends’. Finger Friends are just her fingers, but she doesn’t control them. They have minds of their own, and they can’t be stopped. It’s not Hannah who drew on the wall, you see, it was Finger Friends. They also pulled the flowers out of the garden and took the chocolate chips out of the cupboard.
The other day I said, “Finger Friends like to do the things they’re not supposed to, don’t they?” And Hannah replied, “Yes! They don’t like to wait their turn or share. And they like messes.” What can you do but laugh?
I actually enjoy the Finger Friends game. It averts a lot of frustration. Instead of me being angry and impatient with Hannah, I’m laughing at Finger Friends. I can say things to Finger Friends that I can’t say to my 4-year-old. Like, “Finger Friends! You guys are bad news! Hannah, tell Finger Friends why we don’t pull up flowers.” And then she tells them. Or she asks me to, and she listens. It’s much less stressful than if I were lecturing my daughter yet again, and much more effective.
I expect that as Hannah gets older Finger Friends will stop behaving so much like, well, 4-year-olds. Just as Hannah will no longer behave so much like a 4-year-old. But for now they’re a great way to share a laugh and deflect the tension. Even if they are sort of bad news. 
Hannah’s Finger Friends, poised to strike
That is too funny. Emma doesn’t have ‘finger friends’…she has Hannah. Whatever Emma did wrong, Hannah did it. My favorite is when Hannah is out with Steve or having a nap and something is broken or a mess is made….Hannah did it. We have come to the conclusion that Hannah is magic!
So clever!
The Finger Friends make me think of this very creative children’s TV show we saw a few times, called “The Upside Down Show.” One of the things the stars would do is enact scenes with the “Action Fingers” running about.
That is extremely creative of Hannah. I am very impressed. It’s Hilarious as well. How can you discipline Hannah? it’s never her fault. LOL. Too cute.
This is hilarious. Anna is not old enough for shifting the blame yet, but I have never heard of Finger Friends. Hannah is so creative.
Love the Finger Friends idea!! I wonder if my 3.5 year old would go for it? Might give it a try!
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Hi Amber,
I just happened upon your site one day following a story in the newspaper about your Guide to Canadian Maternity Leave. I’ve been reading your blogs over the last few days and enjoying hearing about your kiddo’s. I’ve always wanted to be a SAHM and admire your motivation and creativity.
My daughter also has Finger Friends! I laughed when I saw the picture of your daughter’s. However, my Madelyn does not blame hers for naughty behavior, she just uses them as characters in her play. Aren’t our girls creative!? Thanks for the smile.