My husband Jon is the king of finding silly things on the internet. He collects these silly things on his blog, which I haven’t been reading lately, just as I haven’t been reading any blogs. Never let it be said that I play favourites. Anyway, I came across him the other day as he was trolling for silly things, and found this hilarious collection of first world problems. Here are a couple of my personal favourites:
My laptop is dying.
But my charger is all the way upstairs.I poured my cereal into the bowl without checking to see if we still had milk.
We didn’t.
Inspired by the hilarity – and the tragedy that is my first world life – I decided to create a list of my own.
Image credit: Kristina Alexanderson on Flickr
Amber’s Tragic First World Problems
- I messed up my running app this morning. Now I don’t know exactly how far I ran.
- If I fasten this belt using one hole it’s a little too tight. If I fasten it using the other hole it’s a little too loose.
- We have too many crayons to fit in our crayon tin. Crayon-tastrophe!
- My daughter won’t know for certain which grade one class she will be in until the second week of school.
- Running outside wearing sunglasses has given me raccoon eyes.
- I can’t get the paper wrapper on the shortening to re-fold in the same way it was originally folded inside the box. Now my shortening looks messy.
- The one crop that really produced in my garden this year is chard. I don’t actually like chard.
- There is currently so much food in my fridge that when I open the door, I am pelted by falling vegetables.
- If I try to play a game on my iPhone when my kids are home, they steal it from me. This is seriously hindering my progress in Spy Mouse.
- There were three mismatched socks in my daughter’s last load of laundry. I hate mismatched socks!
- I have been too busy working to read blogs as often as I would like.
- Telemarketers always mispronounce my last name.
- My cleaning lady was on vacation, so her regular visit was delayed and my carpets are really crunchy.
- The washable marker that my son drew all over himself with won’t wash all the way off.
- My green bin – where I throw all the food my family doesn’t feel like eating – smells bad.
- The flowers in my living room are dead. I should really get rid of them, but I don’t particularly feel like getting up out of this chair.
As you can see, it’s a veritable vale of tears around here, what with all of the minor inconveniences and petty annoyances I face on a daily basis. I wish I were embellishing, but sadly, I am not. All of these things are true. What’s even worse is that I know I’m not alone. First world problems are at an all time high. I’ll bet you probably have some of your very own. Why don’t you share them in the comments? We need to join together to fight this scourge! Perhaps we could form a support group, which we will conduct via Skype on our smart phones, while sipping lattes at Starbucks and sobbing quietly to ourselves.
Or maybe we’ll just get over ourselves, and be grateful that we don’t have real problems.
I know those woahs… I get really bummed by all my first world tragedies from time to time, but remembering things like what being first world really mean: clean water, no bombs in the yard, food at the store, poverty and famine in tiny pockets, kids without guns, pestilence being limited to wasps around the BBQ and fruit flies around the green bin… it makes my over stuffed kitchen, ADHD diagnosed kids and toppling bookshelves seem pretty petty! Thank you for the reality check Amber!
*pol’s last post … Camping Bliss Still
I have my posts scheduled to publish and for the past week something’s been conflicting to where they miss schedule. Which means I have to log in after I get my kids to school and publish my entries myself. Ugh.
That’s my biggest first world problem for the day.
C @ Kid Things’s last post … 3 Years Old, On Paper
That sounds like a royal pain, I will admit that.
These are hilarious, Amber. It’s amazing the amount of little things we manage to whine about! My favourites in your list were about the belt fastening and the “crunchy” carpets! Ha!
I don’t have a Starbucks close to home or work, so I have to drink cafeteria coffee every morning!
I really want to go shoe shopping to replace last year’s boots that finally bit the dust but I have a massive blister on my heel that is still healing.
Yeah, I know, wah-wah, boo-hoo.
Condo Blues’s last post … What Type of Sewing Machine Do You Have? Do You Like It?
I love this! I have the opposite problem with crayons. They are all over my house. And I constantly find broken ones. Also, whenever I buy flowers they die instantly.
Old School/New School Mom’s last post … Get Out Of My Bed And Into Yours
Hmm, let’s see…
I really wanted to go to a 9:30 am yoga class, but i am too stiff from the last one to get off this couch so instead I am reading blogs.
I want to take a shower, but since I forgot to put the dishwasher on last night and it is running now, the water isn’t hot enough to shower.
My son has a problem too, one of his million Lego guys is missing his sword.
I could go on and on… PS The first world problem site is hilarious!
I feel dirty but am not in the mood to take a shower
How do you pronounce your last name, anyway? I’d been wondering about that.
Jenny’s last post … We are not bored.
It’s “STRAW-suhl”. If you know John Stossel from ABC, our name sounds like his with an “r” added. Most people guess “STROH-suhl”, “Stroh-CELL” or “STROKE-uhl”. I can’t really blame them, though – the name isn’t pronounced at all like it’s spelled!
I am totally peeved that I’ve been pronouncing your name wrong in my head for two years. I don’t see how I can go on.
allison’s last post … He Who Rejects Change is the Architect of Decay
Of course, there are some first world problems that are REAL problems.
Such as:
34% of women get a c-section, most of whom wouldn’t have needed one if they’d been left alone.
Nine-year-olds are coming down with type 2 diabetes.
Drunk driving accidents kill thousands every year.
Not to be depressing, but we have a lot of real issues here in the first world too! I am happy to have enough to eat and access to medical care, and yet there’s such a thing as too much of a good thing too.
Sheila’s last post … Attachment parenting a puppy