When you have little babies you can eat whatever you want in front of them. They are not at all interested in food at first, and when they do become interested they don’t yet know that chocolate pudding tastes much better than mashed peas. It’s a lovely time, really, feeding the baby squash while you have a bowl of ice cream. So lovely.
Unfortunately, this time does not last forever. Eventually children have their first taste of sugar, eat a cookie their grandma gave them, learn the difference between a chocolate chip and a black bean. They start to recognize what is ‘good’ and what is ‘not so good’ on sight. They may even memorize handy information like where you keep the marshmallows. Knowing where the marshmallows are is practically a toddler’s number one responsibility.
Jacob sees something he wants
Once your kid knows what a treat is and what it looks like your world is never quite the same. You start indulging on the sly. You cultivate ‘secret hiding spots’ for the good chocolate, the expensive ice cream, the baked goods. You refer to pop as ‘daddy juice’ and tell them that dark chocolate is ‘spicy’.
I reached this stage years and years ago with my daughter Hannah, of course. I got used to eating my treats after she went to bed, or at work where no one would demand in screeching tones that I share. You adapt, you figure out work-arounds, you learn what you can and can’t get away with right now. Recently the kid has started smelling my breath, forcing me to raise the bar even higher. By the time she’s 7 I’ll have a PhD in furtive snacking.
Jacob points out the thing he wants
Jacob, just shy of 18 months now, is far more advanced at sniffing out the treats than his sister ever was at this age. I am at home full-time with him, so I have fewer options for eating chocolate on the low-down. He is a second child, so I was less dedicated to keeping him away from the sugar when he was little. Plus he has a big sister who wants the occasional treat, and unlike me can’t be expected to down it in one gulp with her face hidden by a cupboard door.
These days, Jacob shrieks when I open the cupboard that holds the chocolate chips. Unfortunately it also holds our crackers, nuts, raisins, vitamins, honey and all manner of other foods. It’s a cupboard I open frequently. I could move the chocolate chips, but I’m not sure where as our other cupboards also hold food and I’m short and not able to reach the ones that don’t. Once again, being 5′ 2″ limits my options.
Jacob attempts to scale the cabinetry to reach the thing he wants
I could give up the treats, but I have so few vices already. I don’t like coffee, and I rarely consume alcohol. I’ve never smoked and I don’t even own a television. I need an outlet, and sugar is the one I’ve chosen. If it means I need to eat it in the bathroom while the children pound on the door and call for me, so be it. I might feel a little bad while they wail for their mother, but not bad enough to open the door and share.
My neice was for several years able to tell her son : You don't like chocolate; you like carrots." She always had a bowl full of small carrots or carrot slices in the fridge to give to him at that time. Whenever the family received chocolates she would repeat this litany. It worked until he was about 5 maybe? All other family members cooperated in this deception. Because we got to eat the chocolates, of course.
Haha Sue that's a great story! May have to institute that with my little boy! Love getting advice like this before it's too late!
Amber, I didn't realize you're 5'2". So's my mom, and we delighted in putting stuff on top of the fridge where she couldn't reach (my dad's 6'4", I'm 5'7" and my brothers are 6'4" and 6'5"). So you can get ready for that time to come!Her good chocolates were easy to find, always in the bottom draw. She also resorted to hiding diet Snapples in the drawer of the fridge, under veggies.
chuckle…. I’d do the same for chocolate.
My girl isn’t a great eater (21mths old), but she’s just discovering and becoming interested in everyhting we bring out. So dad sneaks peanuts in the kitchen, and I’m left to nibble bits of chocolate as i potter around. No way can I just sit and munch away now.
I hope to keep her from sugar until she’s 3 at minimum…. we’ll see.
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haha! cute post! I loved hearing about your little guy’s antics … my son is exactly the same age and I find he’s hanging around the counter a lot lately. It’s cute when he says, “Dah” and raises his hand but not so cute when it’s whining.
yeah, it’s pretty much impossible to eat anything yummy without being forced to share. It’s just one more reason I like working outside the home: all the goodies I want and no one to steal them
Of course, now that I am trying to eat better, work out, etc I guess i should stop doing that. Kind of ruins the effort
p
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Spicy? Once in France we overheard an American mom telling her child that the bag of treats he wanted actually contained poison. Since then, “poison” is what we say jokingly in our family. I don’t care for sweets, but I’ve been known to buy (and hide) potato chips, although I don’t really to hide them: my boys always ask if they can have something, and never just open the cupboard, whereas their little sister will go, and help herself.
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My daughter has been known to stand in front of the cabinet that contains chocolate and shout “doc-doc”!
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I love this post! I live this post…
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I completely relate to this! A.’s favorite word is “cookies.” I don’t know who the heck taught it to him but he freakin’ says it all the time!!! So annoying. And when I want a cookie I have to practically hide in a damn closet to eat it!!!!!!
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Oh and also, you don’t drink coffee??? How do you survive in the morning??
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the jellybean has a the nose of a bloodhound as well. he can smell a snacking moment when he walks into the room!
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My boy starts yelling when I open the fridge, not because there is something he wants but because there might possibily be something good in there and he wants that!
.-= Capital Mom´s last post ..Fruit salad =-.
I keep the good chocolate well hidden too. The kids know where it is, but not always whether or not there’s any in there. I try harder with other snack stashes. Gotta have my secrets.
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I’m still stuck on the not owning a TV thing. In that case a private (if not quiet) moment with some good chocolate is definitely called for.
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Abbie~my secret is out! I just KNEW Amber and I had something in common! I live in the land of the giants! Just you wait, because your kids are ALWAYS bigger than you!
Immediately after reading your post, I saw my husband walk to the trash and toss out the wrappers to his hidden stash of snacks. Ha! I have mine too. Not sure what I’m going to do when the boys get taller.
.-= Lady M´s last post ..Seven Red Things =-.
This was great! Well said. :0) My daughter is a chocolate chip fiend. Every other morning we have to discuss why we can’t have chocolate chips for breakfast…..
Yep, when Angus was little and he saw us eating something, he’s immediately say “I want some dat! …what is dat?”
.-= Allison McCaskill´s last post ..************Dream a (weird) little dream =-.
My takeaway from this post? “Huh, you’re short? I had always imagined you at my height (5’8″) or taller.”
With the third child, you get wiley all over again. Turns 2 tomorrow and still gets only water in his sippy cup, but we call it “juice”. One of these days he’ll catch on, but I’ll roll with it while we can!
Oh, and I don’t hide food much now, but with three boys over 95th percentile for size, you know I’m going to be hiding not just treats but spare loaves of bread around the house in the not-too-distant future!!
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LOVE it!
I have a drawer where I keep my 95% dark chocolate bars. Luckily nobody else is really interested in them. Not sweet enough.
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I’m a stealth snacker myself!
I have chocolate while showering (the noise disguises the crinke of the chocolate wrapper, and I have time to savour it while the hair conditioner is doing it’s job).
I also keep the “mom snacks” in my room — I have to keep moving them as the kids and hubby find the hiding spots. Behind my sweaters in the closet, behind my PJs in the dresser, you get the idea. I don’t feel too guilty, they have lots of opportunity for social treats that I don’t. Hubby works with 59 other people so donuts are always around, and the kids are always going to parties and friend’s with treats galore!
I’ve thought about this and can already sense we’re going to have issues. On weekends my husband likes to eat PB&J with Doritos on the couch while watching TV. We haven’t really introduced peanut butter to our son, but he doesn’t know what it is, he just knows Daddy will share whatever he has with him. (Doritos have been discovered!)
I do save my Klondike bars for after his bedtime
I give you credit for no TV. But does this mean you don’t have cable or you actually have no tv?
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This is halarious. Just today after coming home from the store I sat on the kitchen floor with my new tub of ice cream and started eating. My 2 yo must have smelled it, for she left what she was doing (which is why I took the opportunity to eat some!), found me and exclaimed, “Oh, yummy, ice cream. Me get spoon.” What could I do? So we shared. Next time I’m hiding in the garage!
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This post made me laugh so hard. I’m glad I’m not the only one that does this. Everything you do or have done I’ve done too.
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I love the sheer volume of comments on this one! Furtive snacking is a hot topic
. The funny thing is if your vice is coffee or wine, the kids are never interested anyway. Why IS that?!
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