Comments on: Girls Will Be Girls?

By: Lavender

Lavender — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 23:26:22 +0000

Your kids are amazingly cute! I sometimes struggle with this too. I think about some of the things that I wanted to wear (and did) and I survived…

By: Lady M

Lady M — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 17:25:54 +0000

My parents did a good job of showing me I could succeed in roles that are not traditionally female (engineering, for example), and I used to wonder how to best do that for my children. Now I have two boys, and I guess I won’t have to worry about them being told that they can’t do math or computers! However, Q-ster loves dancing and cooking right now, and while everything passes in phases (Star Wars is hot too), I strive to make sure that those more traditionally female hobbies are open to him too.

By: Alyssa

Alyssa — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 07:50:29 +0000

My daughter (almost 4) is not super-girly. She has some interest in sparkly shoes, clip on earrings, necklaces and jewelry, but sometimes days will pass before she shows an interest in those things again. She plays with cars and trucks as well as dolls but is not obsessive about them. She happily wears jeans, overalls or boots somedays, and dresses and tights on other days.

She doesn’t seem to ‘get’ that our culture has gender stereotypes. We were shopping for a birthday gift for a boy the other day and she kept suggesting things like flower shaped sponges, butterfly tattoos and sparkles. I tried to explain we couldn’t get those things for a boy because we don’t know his parents well enough to know whether they would be offended by such gifts or not.

She is beginning to understand that boys don’t wear pink, however.

She doesn’t really know who the Disney princesses are, having never seen the movie (I’m assuming there’s a movie?), but I’m not put off if someone gives her Disney princess things.

In summary, it’s a non-issue for us. She seems to be heading down the same path of androgyny as her parents.

By: Jeanne

Jeanne — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 07:25:38 +0000

This is such an interesting topic, because I find that with my two, they’re simply drawn to their gender stereotypes.

I’m not overly girly myself, and yet my daughter loves all things sparkley and frilly (“Oh, it’s so cute, Mommy!”).

My son, on the other hand, in spite of being at home with Mom and older sister while Dad is at work, is a total BOY, loves clothes with cars on them, and his favourite colour is “BYOO!!” (blue).

Go figure.

Amber of TheAmberShow – I used to feel that way too, about characters, but once I had my own kids, I was so endeared by their “character worship” that I gave in and let them wear stuff featuring their faves (i.e. Dora, Thomas the Tank Engine, etc.) My daughter has kind of outgrown it and now wears “kid sized adult clothes”, but my son still loves his Thomas and Lightning McQueen stuff.

By: crunchy

crunchy — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 03:25:47 +0000

For my son I tend to avoid sporty stuff as we are not sporty people…when he was wee we dressed him in bright cheery coloured stuff..try to stay away from logos.

Same with caity..SHE is the one who has picked the pink the older she gets.

Adam now pretty much picks his own stuff and dresses himself..and still picks by colour more than logo or style…he does pretty good.

I don’t cringe at the disney stuff..my obsession was never as great as caity’s but she also loves zombies so I figure she is pretty balanced in a trampy freaky bratz way!

By: amber of TheAmberShow

amber of TheAmberShow — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 03:25:32 +0000

Not a mom yet, but NO character shirts on either gender. It hurts my stomach to see little kids I love dressed in cartoons.

I don’t mind feminine clothes, should I be so lucky to have a little girl, even bright fun pink clothes. But sparkly, neon or really bright clothes are a no-go.

By: Allison

Allison — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 19:19:08 +0000

I think I may have felt the same as you if I had had a girl first. I had a boy, though, and I didn’t overthink what to dress him in (although I found it amusing when he tried to pull lavender frilly dresses off the hangers as I wheeled him in his stroller through Gymboree). I didn’t know what I was having either time, but with my second I was determined that even if it was a girl I wouldn’t dress her in pink. Then she was a girl, and the avalanche of magenta and sequins descended and I totally caved in to it all (she was bald until she was one and a half, so that played a part also). The D.P.’s kinda make me cringe, but I don’t bar them from the house (I figure that would just make them even more attractive), and Eve loves a good tea party in a ball gown but is also into batting practice with Daddy, in which she tries to nail him with the whiffle ball and laughs uproariously when she does. I think if they’re strong-willed enough to express their preferences, that’s not necessarily a bad thing, and we’re better off to pick our battles elsewhere (they’re not allowed to judge anyone on the basis of skin colour or like Barney ).

By: Mom

Mom — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 19:07:28 +0000

I can remember loving it when you watched Wonder Woman or any other show where the female was the hero. I didn’t want you to grow up believing only men were strong & wise & good problem solvers. So, maybe I influenced your decision to ensure Hannah was not raised with expectations of what ‘girls like’ or ‘girls do’. Don’t know if we can avoid that as parents; however, letting the children express themselves, with a bit of common sense guidance, is still letting them be who they are.

By: Mike

Mike — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 16:57:40 +0000

If my daughter wants to wear frilly, pink clothes and act girly I’m okay with it. If she wants to wear heavy boots and jeans and act rough and tumble I’m okay with that, too.

She’s her own person. My job as a parent is to give her guidance as she grows, not mold her to what I (or stereotypes) think she should be.