I returned to work reluctantly after my first maternity leave. My whole world had changed since I’d last set foot in the office a full year before. I had become a mom and I wasn’t even really the same person anymore.
I was lucky that my former employer offered family-friendly policies such as flex time and the option to work from home. I decided to go into the office three days a week, and work from home for two. I got a laptop and I was all raring to go. However, I soon discovered that trying to get in an 8 hour day while caring for a one-year-old is very difficult. Maybe even impossible. So I found myself working around the clock whenever I could get a moment to myself. After a month it was clear to me that something had to give.
As I considered my options I was worried. I’m an engineer. On my team of 14 or so people there was only one other woman. Many of my colleagues had wives who stayed home while they were the primary bread winners. They were working full-time and then some to support their families. If I didn’t want to work full-time would I be setting myself apart in a whole new way? What would the consequences be?
There were some factors that balanced in my favour when I decided to go part-time. Thankfully at that time the economy was very different and my company was doing well. I had worked there for seven years and had a proven track record. Plus my salary as an engineer was sufficient that giving up a portion of it was something we could swing. I felt that, in my case, the risk was worth the potential reward. I know that not everyone has the same advantages, or would be able to make the same choices I did.
I spent a few days gathering courage. I worked out a little speech in my head that involved loving my job, and wanting to be mentally healthy enough to give it my all. I walked back and forth to my team leader’s office a couple of times before I managed to poke my head in the door.
In the end I needn’t have worried. I learned that if your employer values your contribution they may be more accommodating than you expect. My team leader was very understanding, and wanted to help me find an arrangement that worked for everyone. He was also a dad with small kids at home. He got it, totally. It was a huge relief to me.
I chose to work 32 hours a week. I went into the office three days a week and worked 2 half-days from home. It was much more manageable, and I was much happier. I was surprised to discover that there were other employees who were working reduced schedules, too. I had no idea because I’d never asked, and it wasn’t necessarily something they were advertising. When news got out that I had gone part-time, though, I heard all about it.
There are some downsides to going part-time. You aren’t going to be promoted or advance in your career in the same way. I have mixed feelings about this, but I understand why it works that way. There is still some stigma with going on the ‘mommy track’. And I did find that I wasn’t as tuned in to the office goings on as people who were there full time or more. There were upsides to being out of the political loop, but there were also downsides.
It’s really hard to find balance as a mom. There may be no such thing. We’re all making compromises, some good and some not so good. Working part-time was one compromise that worked for me, at least most of the time.
What about you? Do you work an alternate schedule? Or would you consider it if it were an option? I’d love to what other moms think about going part-time.
I came from practicing law pre-baby to taking a year off to now working in the private sector with incredibly flexible hours. If they weren’t so flex (even at full time) I would work part time. I have many friends working alternate schedules or working remote multiple days a week. I am working remote right now…(how hard, don’t ask. LOL). I work from about 6 or 7 am to about 3 or 4, hit gym, and pick up our little 2 year old. Flex hours are godsend to me and surely beats 80 hour weeks.
It’s actually easier for teachers at my school to go part-time than at the elementary level. We have an A day/B day block schedule, so a lot of people will teach 3/5 (which is 3 instead of 5 classes) and only have to go in every other day while still getting insurance and all those benefits. Some peole go 2/5 or even 1/5, but without benefits. I would need benefits, since our health insurance is through my job.
The problem is that the numbers have to work out with students and classes. I’m hoping to be able to take advantage of this part-time schedule when I have children.
After baby #1, I went back to the office 3 days a week…. and oh I loved it! Sure I felt guilty dropping him off at daycare, but it was so nice to be in a “controlled” environment where I knew what to expect AND what was expected of me those 3 days! (I chose a daycare close to work for the first few months for easy breastfeeding breaks).
4 years later when I had to leave my job for baby #2 things had changed. For one thing maternity leave was finally a decent length. (With baby #1 he was only 3 months old when I had to go to work because mat leave was 6 months, but I had been laid off 3 months before he was born and they only gave a TOTAL of 6 months). And for another thing, finding a daycare for an infant and kindergartener was IMPOSSIBLE in my neighbourhood… and if I did find it, then it would have been expensive too. Good thing my husband always wanted me to be a stay-home-mom anyways!
I decided to stay home. I am a graphic designer by trade. To offset the loss of income, I timidly approached some of the suppliers I had done work with over the years, marketers, printers, photographers, and told them I was going alone as a free lance. The response was positive, and because I have low overhead (internet connection and a computer) my rates are super-competitive for the same big-studio-quality work I was doing before. I learned the hard way that I had to only accept easy jobs. Coordinating large publications around a toddler and school schedule is not possible! And I had to learn when to say “no” if I was getting too busy for one person. I even had a sub-contract designer working in my home office for me, but it was very hard on the kids and my husband when I was that busy (excellent money though!!!!)
I think I have acheived a decent balance now. I don’t pursue work, it comes to me through referrals and my regular clients… it is just enough to keep me sharp, and still available to my family!
I would absolutely love an 80% work week. I know many women who do this, but I doubt my company would accomodate such a request, and if they did, I would still be worried that, say, in the event of cutbacks, despite my 9 years with the company, I would be the first to go.
Everything in this world is NOT created equal. It is a human thought to make things so. I think it is this mind set that is trapping women into an unwinable race. We were raised to beieve we could have it all…the same jobs and salaries as our husbands…AND have a family. We can’t. Not sucessfully I don’t think, or if so, it is the rare exception, not the norm.
It is okay to be unbalanced as a women. To choose to spend more time with your children or more time at your career. There is no shame in either choice. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be paid to raise your children…and paid well? That is my dream!
I can’t imagine ever wanting to go back to work full time to be honest. I may have to for financial reasons but I’ve always thought a 3 day work week would be perfect for me.
I think no matter what we decide, work full time, part time, work at home, stay at home, the decision is loaded with concern. All we want is to make the right choice for our families.
I love what Heather said above. It’s so true. So well said.
I have no idea how it’ll be when I come back, but the two half days actually seems really smart. I really dont’ want to go down to 3 days a week but don’t want to work 5 either, so something like your arrangement might be great.
I go back the end of October and as each month ends, I cringe a little that my maternity leave is coming to an end.
If I had to option to go back part time without it affecting our quality of life I definitely would. Problem is that this is not an option in the career I’m in. I’m a Department store Manager and 5 days a week is non-negotiable. Going part time would mean losing my management title and with that half of my salary at least.
I’ve casually searched around for other career options but have still not found anything that fits my experiences.
I went back from my first mat leave full-time while my husband took a year off to stay at home with our daughter. What I learnt that year is that, as Heather said, we can’t have it all. I continued on the path I had been on before I left, became a manager on a smallish team and realized that you can not move up and have young kids. The stress, the hours and the demands do not accomodate the relationship I want to have with my kids.
I am not sure what will happen when I go back this time from mat leave. I would like part-time but the deal is that I am getting two years off (one mat leave, one unpaid) and when I go back the husband gets two years off with the kids. So I need to go back full-time.
I think part-time is a great option for parents that want to still work but also want more time at home with the kids. It makes me laugh that 32 hours is considered part-time. Shouldn’t part-time be half of 40?
Before I got married, I worked crazy hours in consulting, and my now-husband joked that I needed to find a part time job in order for us to be married – 40 hours/week. Funny in a sad sort of way.
My job is full time now, but the flex hours make it possible. I can come home comfortably, have hours to play and feed the children, and then get back online to work at night from home.
Wow…did this post resonate with me. Honestly, in most of the blogs I read the moms stay at home. I don’t. I want to, but it just isn’t in the cards. I just recently cut back to 35 hours. I come in early while the kids are still asleep so I can get off by 4. And I’m off on Fridays. I also reduced lunch breaks to 30 min. I usually go home during those 30 min to nurse (my house is close to my work). It is such a crazy balancing act. Pumping twice a day! I had worked my way up in my current job and am the breadwinner, insurance carrier…My husband is self employed. He does okay, but it would be really hard to give up my salary with three kids…I read all these blogs I love and so wish I could be home all day. But sometimes I wonder if part time is really the best of both worlds. I don’t want to worry about money. Some of my friends that stay home say that it is hard being home all day with kids. I yearn for it..I don’t know what the answer is so I just try to bloom where I am right now….I hope to cut back to 30 or 32 hours at some point.
If you’re financially able to only work part time, then do it! You have the rest of your life to work, but your kdis are only young once….and as you already know, it goes fast.
It would be great if everyone could afford to work less and spend more time with their kids, but unfortunately the world doesn’t work like that anymore.
Right now I work nights which is nice because my husband is home to watch the girls but it severely hampers our social life and together time.
I’m looking for a career right now. I can’t demand flex time as a new employee so I’d love to find a part-time job but it seems like there are more full-time jobs. I’m also considering freelance writing but I don’t think I can build up enough work in the beginning.
I am still on maternity leave (in Germany, so it’s paid), but I will go part time afterwards. In fact, we will both go parttime. My husband will probably work 25 hours, three days a week, and can’t do any teleworking due to his type of job. I am aiming for 20 hours in office, 5-10 hours at home. This way, we can both care for our son at home and still keep our jobs. I am really anxious about how this will work out in reality.
I have no idea what I’m going to do. Part of me wants to stay home full time, but another part of me wants to go back part time as I was at home for 8 years and feel positively lucky to have found something with flexibility so easily/quickly. MY employers are leaving it up to me to decide. My husband may or may not have a new position in the fall which would be flexible also, so that would impact my decision. I am positively terrified to think about daycare.