It’s Thursday and I’m Crafting my Life! October’s theme is home and the other places you inhabit, shamelessly stolen from inspired by Meagan Francis of The Happiest Mom. Because the space you live and work in can make a huge difference to your mental state. In the past few weeks I talked creating your space, making a retreat for yourself and the search for the perfect home. This week I’m going to talk about home improvement.
This house that we live in now is the first home that my husband and I ever bought. Before we moved here, we lived in rental apartments. When we moved here, we were filled with youthful dreams of home ownership, overcome with the possibility of having a house of our very own. I wanted colour on my walls, raspberries in my garden and front door with a doorbell. We embraced our vision, and bought a house that was fairly affordable, but required some work. We thought that it would be a good way to get our house, and make it our own at the same time. How hard could it be?
Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Even seven years later, I have a hard time laughing about it. It turns out that home improvement can be very hard. Contractors don’t call you back. They uncover stuff that increases the cost of the project at every turn. Supplies don’t arrive on time, and you end up living without a kitchen for weeks on end. The bills mount, the projects drag on, and you and your husband become snippy with each other. Whose idea was this house, anyway? Why didn’t we just stay in our rental apartment? And when will we have an actual kitchen sink? Because that, my friend, is when I can get you a drink of water. Hmph.
It turns out that home improvement does not bring out the best in me. It upends your life in a major way, and I don’t like upending. There are people coming and going in your space, there’s noise and mess and there’s the period between taking down the old and putting up the new when you have no primary bathroom. And on top of all that, it’s super-expensive. It is not cheap to have someone else fix your bathroom. And if you do it yourself you run the risk of paying even more to have someone fix your mess. Especially if you’re as generally non-handy as I am.
In spite of all of the pain and money that came with renovating our house, at this point I am glad that we did it. We got a great house out of it, that was within our price range and really feels like ours. We learned a lot about what goes into creating and maintaining the space that we live in. Looking back, in many ways I would compare the renovation to giving birth. It’s messy and painful, but relatively short compared to the time that you live with the results of the whole endeavour. While I wouldn’t want to do it every day, in the long run it’s worth it.
All the same, if we knew what we were in for on the day that we signed the purchase agreement, we might have made a different decision. We would have paid a little more for a house with fewer problems. But we didn’t know then what we know now, and that’s the nature of life. When you take on a big project for the first time, you don’t know what you’re getting yourself in to. The best you can do is guess. Other people can share their stories, but your story will undoubtedly be different. In the end, we’re all flying blind, whether we’re creating a space to live in, having a baby, starting a business or getting married. There’s only so much that’s knowable in advance. And because of that, you have to act with a certain degree of faith.
When I walk around my house today, I see the baseboards that I put in, the towel rack that I installed and the walls that I painted. I see the new railings we had put in when 10-month-old Hannah pulled up on our old, loose ones and we realized we couldn’t put that project off any longer. I see the peeling ceiling in Jacob’s room, which leaked when he was 8 days old, letting us know we’d need a new roof. I see my own sweat poured into making this home, and I see all the money I’ve spent. If it wasn’t my home before all of that, it became my home afterward. Effort and financial investment have made it so. Blood and sweat and tears have made it so. The bright blue walls and the IKEA furniture have made it so.
This house is now a big part of my life. My two babies were born while we lived here. One pet died here, and another came home to this place for the first time. I learned that I lost my job while sitting in this house. It’s filled with memories, starting with the home improvements, and ending with the home. It’s part of the life I’m creating for myself, and I’m glad of it. Even if the floors aren’t level and we really need to fix the peeling ceiling.
What about you? Do you enjoy home improvement projects? Is painting your idea of a good time? And do you have any home improvement stories to share? I’d love to hear! I’d also love it if you would play along in my link-up. Include a link to a post you’ve written anytime in the past about home, or the other spaces you inhabit.
Ahhh, yes home renos. I know all about those. 3 years in and our house still isn’t finished. When you consider how much there is still left to do you might think we are crazy (bathrooms, bedrooms, basement rooms, painting, flooring)…but considering all we* HAVE accomplished…well, it’s pretty amazing.
Lack of $$ (unexpected 2nd children can do that LOL) lack of time, small children constantly underfoot…renos are a major pain in the butt. But as you said, once it is done and you look around seeing what you accomplished…well, it just becomes home. Even with all the annoying things you can’t imagine living anywhere else.
*by we I am referring to Mike. Because beyond our first year or so here…well, I haven’t done nearly as much reno wise as he has. However, at least I have a good excuse (ie those small children I mentioned)
Carrie’s last post … Finding Time
We are renters. Our home improvement projects mostly involve taking care of the clutter & crap that has somehow accrued over the years. No garage or attic or basement to store it in, and so it must be dealt with.
I do want to point out that though many aspects of home improvement are out of your control as a homeowner (getting contractors to call you back, keeping under budget, everything you mention above …), what sucks sucks sucks as a renter (as you probably know) is having to get the super and/or building management to take care of the stuff that is their responsibility to take care of. Like water damage from our upstairs neighbors, which has been a recurring problem since we moved here two and a half years ago. We’ve had to call the city on them to get a hole in the bathroom patched up … a project that was finished the day before the Critter was born. I was supposed to be nesting then, dammit!
P.S. Your dream = “I wanted colour on my walls, raspberries in my garden and front door with a doorbell.” (Do you have the raspberries? The doorbell?) My dream = a bit of lawn, a porch, and a piano.
P.P.S. Linking up an old post above. Thanks, Amber!
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In fact I do have all those things.
And we had the WORST upstairs neighbours in the last place we rented. Getting away from them was a major incentive to moving, quite honestly. I love the idea of having a community around myself, but in reality, the people in that community are not always easy to get along with.
I read your blog and you mentioned water damage. As a renter it is very important to have Renters Insurance. I have worked at many water damage cleanups where the tenants house hold items were totally destroyed. Then when the issue of insurance came up they said we don’t have it, we know the owners of the building does. Needless to say they lost everything. Renter’s insurance is very cheap, if you don’t have it, get it.
Stay dry.
I’ve added a link but wanted to also add that we sold our old house (yaaay!) so that kitchen renovation is now someone else’s concern. We are happily renting for the moment (30 day closing didn’t leave time to find a new house) a 5 year old townhome. Ahhh ceramic tile, new doors, new kitchen and no chance of any renovations or work to the house for a year.
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http://mustangsabby.wordpress.com/2010/10/28/apples-and-my-grandmother/
I added this to my own little blog today, after reading your post. I miss my true home, very much, with the plaster and lathe walls, wood stoves, orange-fire maple trees, horses, and barns.
You mentioned your dream home not long ago. This place is my dream home. Land, animals, a huge garden, and space to breathe. Someday I hope to be there again, making it mine, and preparing it for the 7th generation to love it as much as the first 6 did.
The thing I hate most is having my space and my life up-ended. It makes me very grumpy and extremely hard to be around. When we bought our condo, we had a deal: I dealt with wedding planning, and the Hubs dealt with renos/painting/plumbing. Our next place needs to be pretty much good to go, because there’s no way we would survive major renos!
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i put up shelves and deal with storage solutions … or at least i used to pre-wee guy. now that he’s at school maybe i’ll get my home reno mojo back?
sadly we only seem to redecorate when we’re trying to sell a place so i never get to enjoy my home (it was different when i lived by myself – my first house was just the way i wanted it with every little bit of decorating/reno installed by me. our current house really truly needs a lick of paint but the idea of organising it all just sends me running. i have a very unhandy husband who can, in addition to ignoring the usual domestic stuff, be blind to any kind of repair, DIY project or home maintenance/improvement so after a while i just give up with initiating or dropping hints.
my latest accomplishment though = new flooring in the living area = totally worth the money and the small amount of hassle (thanks to Dan the flooring man – i can supply a reference on request
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After purchasing a house with friends and making it into two equitable living spaces, I can easily say that home renovation is the work of the devil. Two of us essentially had nervous breakdowns, and I even consider our adoption process LESS stressful than our reno. Acually when people say “but it was worth in the end, wasn’t it?” I think “no, not really.” I’ve gotten over it finally after four years but I never, ever want to reno a house again.
We bought a NEW spec home 11 years ago (after living 4 years in our nasty “fixer-upper” that helped put us in the market to upgrade through our sweat equity). We thought a NEW home would be care free. Alas that was not the truth. The house was made so cheaply that there were things that I couldn’t stand right from the start (a garbage range hood and teeny back deck for example) ! And then there was the unfinished areas and mud/landscaping to deal with and things like towel bars, shower rods, window dressings, garage door opener, window screens and all the other stuff that wasn’t included in the build price.
Finishing the familyroom ourselves came perilously close to finishing our marriage. (Now we don’t paint together. I paint when he is not home, it’s just better that way)
But all the whining aside, it is really a fantastic feeling making a house your very own home. I have really made it mine (for better or worse) and it makes it hard to think about selling even as we find it doesn’t fit as well as it used to.
*pol’s last post … what happened
Good for you! We need to get going on so many projects, like um, hanging pictures. At the very least, I want to get rid of our kitchen wallpaper. Someday, we need to renovate our upstairs bathroom, but I think I can hold off that expense for a couple of years.
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As a father, and now grandfather, I can relate to your home dreams, but now it’s my children’s turn as it is yours Amber.
When our family moved to the West Coast in 1989 we purchased a home north east of Town Centre Park, just before the Westwood Racetrack was replaced by the 16,000 homes on the Plateau in Coquitlam.
These were the teenage years for our children and our home allowed them some space to do their thing. It was more space than we really needed and required a lot of housework, and maintenance both inside and out.
Cath and I often talked about the prospect of downsizing when the children were older for a future simplified life.
Shortly after our son had gone off to University in 1994 we were burglarized and impulsively we decided to fast track our downsizing plans the following year.
We’re now well accustomed to the community life of multi-family living in our 900 s.f. condo. There are rules to deal with the nuisances, like the noise complaints you commented on, and with neighbourly respect the quality of life can be quite enjoyable, and the housework and maintenance is minimal.
Wherever we’ve lived it’s always felt comfortable because Cath has practiced interior design for over 30 years, in fact she was doing “staging†before the term was even coined, although she doesn’t do that any longer. Myself, I’ve never been much of a handyman so I was never a big help.
Being involved in local real estate I have a perspective like few others on new home construction and can confirm that your friend Pol is so right about the poor quality.
I’ve seen the devastation builders have brought on so many innocent families, so if you really want to get me started then we can talk about this issue in depth another time.
You have a wonderful blog Amber; thank you, and everyone for sharing.
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I rent, so the home improvement projects are down to a minimum. What I’ve done, I loved doing.
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We’re on the verge of doing what you did — purchasing a (basically unlivable) house to fix it up according to our specifications. It’s a huge old farmhouse and could really be my dream home (if it had running water). I sure hope we don’t end up regretting it. I don’t think we will though, because we both enjoy working on a house, painting, decorating, that kind of thing. But you never know … you insert a breath of reality into my dreams. It might not be as perfect as I imagine.
Sheila’s last post … Homeowning dreams
I wish I loved it. I wish I were good at it. We bought an entirely livable place (fortunately), but we saw the potential for cosmetic updates to virtually everything. We have done — oh, about nothing, a year in. But we see it all, and are not satisfied. I wish we had the money to hire a design team and tell them to go to town while we leave it. But it will be sweat equity or nothing.
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When my wife and I got our first home, we inherited a lot of furniture and appliances from our parents and siblings. Those hand-me-downs were saved us a lot of dough that we then used for buying materials and hiring some needed hands to help us with our home renovations.
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