The other day I was at a mom and baby group that I volunteer with and some people started smoking outside one of the windows. Technically this is illegal here, as they were also right beside the entrance and no smoking is permitted within 10 feet of any door or air intake. It was rainy and wet, though, so I can understand why they stood there, huddled under the awning. All the same, smoke was getting into the room filled with pregnant ladies and newborns and that wasn’t so great. In spite of my resolute staring at the floor I was elected to go and ask the smokers to move.
Me and the Calgary Tower
It’s hard for me to objectively evaluate if Canadians really do apologize more than other folks, since I am accustomed to the apologies everywhere. For example, if someone bumps into me on the street we both say ‘sorry’. It’s just the done thing. Is that weird? I don’t know. Would I see the same behaviour in, say, Scotland? Again, I have no idea.
With Canadian icons Tim Horton's and the Bluenose II
You don’t really notice the quirkier aspects of your own regional dialect until you travel. In the US, for instance, when I buy an ice cream cone and thank the clerk they respond with, “Uh huh,” or sometimes, “You’re welcome.” Both of those sound odd to me, because here the clerk would must usually say, “Thanks!” right back. It seems to be the norm to thank each other here, but I couldn’t have told you that until I experienced a place where it wasn’t the norm. That’s the same way I learned that some (clearly misguided) people use ‘soda’ when I would say ‘pop’. Tomato, tomahto and all that jazz.
Showing my colours
I will continue to pre-emptively apologize to random strangers, as a way to smooth over any possible confrontation. It works for me, for the most part. But still, I wonder. Is this a particularly Canadian trait? What do you think? I’m sorry to put you on the spot, but I’d love to hear your opinion. 
So I always thought it was funny that Canadians were thought of as such polite people. And then I moved down here and on at least two occasions, I have had people ask me if I was from Candad because I am so polite and friendly. It was a little strange to say the least.
I received communion one Sunday and said "Thank you" instead of "Amen." The priest laughed instead of giving me a stern look until he got a proper Amen.
I’m also a Canadian and can say that other than my fellow Canadians the most polite people I have met are in the Bahamas. Even out of the touristy areas I had perfect strangers wishing me good morning as I passed them on the street! It was so refreshing after spending some time in Miami where…it was not so nice.
I can only compare different regions of the US. Some areas are very polite, and others… well, not so much. If you’re walking on the sidewalk and there are say 3 people walking your way, taking up the whole side walk, they don’t move. They expect you to stand to the side and let them walk past. I’ve also experienced some mothers with strollers that will bump into you and not even take a second look to say ‘excuse me’ or ‘I’m sorry’. They just mosy on with their kids in tow.
I wouldn’t mind a little more politenes, I see nothing wrong with it.
.-= Sara´s last post ..Soapy Business (3 of 5 Reviews) =-.
So all the cranky, inconsiderate people I’ve run across — they must have not been from around here!
Based on my small, anecdotal, completely unscientific random sampling, I agree with you. Just last night at Chapters I had that bumping-into someone experience. And we both smiled and said sorry. My favourite saying is ‘Canadians — the people who apologize when you step on their foot’. Maybe it goes some way to the rest of the world’s perception of us as weak and wishy-washy, and politically sometimes I wish we would take a stronger stance on some issues, but on the whole being thought of as polite is not the worst thing in the world
.-= Allison McCaskill´s last post ..*************WTF just happened? =-.
I’m not sure if it’s an overall Canadian thing. Mike told this story about when he was in Toronto once. He held the door for someone and that person stopped and said, “you’re not from here are you?”
Goes to show that maybe on the West Coast we are a little more polite…but then Toronto is just filled with snobs
.-= Carrie´s last post ..Sleep, baby, sleep =-.
I completely agree with your assessment of the US clerks! I live in New York City and can personally attest to my fellow New Yorker’s rudeness. I, however, appear to be an aberration from my rude peers here. I constantly apologize! Even when it is not even remotely my fault.
But that situation sounds like a nightmare, Amber! Thank goodness you said something to those inconsiderate smokers!
Etiquette is very different in each country, but as a social code of polite behavior it serves its purpose, though it’s just etiquette, it’s not what people really feel or think. About your smoke incident, when my daughter was in pulmonary ward after weeks of IC for a collapsed lung, I had the same problem: smoke drifting from the (parents!!!) bathroom into our room. I didn’t know who the culprit was, and so I went to tell the head nurse, who looked up from her paper work slightly annoyed and just went “uh huh”…
.-= Francesca´s last post ..Art trip =-.
I don’t know many Canadians, but I can say that I’ve been influenced by working in a school. When we walk down the hallway at school, everyone says hello, good morning, etc. Even if you don’t know someone, everyone does it. It’s habit, so if I do that at the grocery store or somewhere else, most people look at me strangely. I think our area happens to be lacking in politeness, which I attribute to our proximity to NYC! It’s not out and out rudeness, it’s more of a “keep to yourself” attitude.
And it’s SODA.
.-= abbie´s last post ..Spinach Quiche =-.
I can relate. In fact, when I was 8 years old, I was given strict orders from my 3rd grade teacher to stop saying, “I’m sorry.” I would apologize for everything. In a way, I think it’s not necessarily a bad way to communicate; it conveys one’s concern for others’ well being. That said, when we over-apologize, we have to wonder, what are we sorry for? I wonder again and again about my daughter’s use of “I’m sorry” though I do notice that I encourage her to say it when she’s hit someone, etc. She often refuses in fact and will not apologize until she is good and ready too. This is a debate I’ve read in the AP community, and I know that many AP parents do not encourage their children to apologize (because it can be a coercive form of parenting).
What are your thoughts?
Last, I think I would do the same thing were someone smoking outside of our AP meeting; I’d apologize and feel uncomfortable requesting that folks stop smoking, but that is just because I think that I am a pretty thoughtful person and I do not want to offend people.
Long comment. Sorry.
.-= Jessica´s last post ..Work =-.
Terrible movie, but it had some very funny points about our Canucks politeness…. “Canadian Bacon”
.-= *pol´s last post ..Taking Control =-.
Here in Minnesota, when two people bump into each other, they both apologize. And I would approach the smokers the same way you did. So I don’t think it’s a particularly Canadian trait. But then again, some people think Minnesota might as well be Canada anyway
(and we say “pop” too)
.-= Recovering Procrastinator´s last post ..Five things about me =-.
Lol, happens in the UK too… I had to get used to this being German. Gosh, this post made me laugh so much I had to read it out to my husband.
.-= Mel´s last post ..Thankful Friday: It’s showtime =-.
We do apologize a lot, often throwing our hands up in mock surrender as if to say ‘I’m not a threat’. However that sidewalk business is alive and well here too, at least in Vancouver. It is typical to play a game of sidewalk chicken with some random group of people you encounter. That said, the bumbling apologies are there if the game goes too far. So maybe we are actually a hybrid of both hostility and politeness.
.-= Kelly´s last post ..Accidentally Happy =-.
I’m just of the opinion that Canadians are freaking nicer. That’s all. Americans are kinda assholes (What? Really?? Noooo!!!) Everything seemed cleaner and more zen in Canada when I spent time up their touring. The husband and I have always fantasized about moving to Toronto.
You know where I saw a reallllly noticable difference? In the strip clubs. Yeah, nudey bars.
Being in a touring band, one of our favorite things to do was visit the local strip club in whatever town we were in. I’m one of those progressive females who doesn’t find anything wrong with sex workers, and I try to bring respect and support to their situation.
At strip clubs in the US, bouncers run the club with an iron fist. There’s no real party. The girls are up there working for their tip, and the guys quietly sit in their seats slipping dollar bills on the stage, because if they tried to do anything else, a bouncer would tackle them. Nobody’s really having any fun – but that’s because men in America are so sexually oppressed that if you did allow them to really interact with the stripper, somebody would probably end up hurt.
However, in Canada, the strip clubs were a HUGE party. The guys were on stage, dancing with the girls, and everybody was being completely respectful. No bouncers were needed to pull the guys off the girls because the guys were just simply acting their age – having a good time – but not getting out of hand. My whole crew just sat there in astonishment.
Of course, I’m sure not all Canadians are exhibitionists, but I certainly think your culture is cooler about sex than Americans are. It must be the French connection? I dunno – everything just seems cleaner, more polite, and more progressive north of the border.
It’s so funny – I used to have a woman who worked for me who couldn’t express a thought or pass someone in the hall without apologizing; to the point at which it became very annoying… of course I apologized to her at the beginning of the confrontation, but I had to say something, she was dealing with customers all day long!
I also think that a clerk should return the “thanks” at checkout, or say “you’re welcome.” Instead, I’m hearing “no problem” a lot. No problem? Of course it’s not a problem, it’s YOUR JOB.
.-= Lady M´s last post ..Dance Reality Show Shakeups and Jellyfish =-.
I’m not sure we all apologize more than most, but I know I do! Last week I bumped into another student while walking to class at York campus, and are enough, we both apologized. At work a coupple of days later I opened a door to walk into a room just as someone else was walking out, and again we both apologized and did the whole, “you go first” and “no, no…you go first” thing.
I remember one time a few years back I was sitting at a passport office waiting to renew my passport when I watched two people several feet away from me accidentally bump into each other. In response, I mumbled, “I’m sorry” under my breathe. It was then I realized I really really apologized too much!
.-= Mary Lynn´s last post ..What do our appliances have against us? =-.
I’m from Oklahoma and I do this too. I also say “Excuse me” and “Pardon me” when in Wal-Mart and I have to cross in front of people. It’s NEVER reciprocated. Perhaps I’d be better off in Canada. If only I didn’t HATE cold weather. Yuck yuck yuck.
.-= Erin W. / Beatnik Momma´s last post ..Wordless Wednesday: "I’m a Monster!" =-.
As a general rule, yeah … I’d say that Canadians are very polite and certainly say “sorry” a lot! But I spent last year in Australia though and THE rudest person I ever came across was the Canadian woman working at the Canadian embassy. I was so embarrassed and angry that she was our representative in another country.
Another reason to add to the “why my husband and I should move to Canada.” So far the only cons are
1. Far away from family
2. Cold (cold makes my Fibromyalgia worse)
I have terrible asthma (went to the ER just the other day for it, fun fun) so I really can’t be around smoke and we don’t have much in the way of laws against it in public places.
Also a few years ago I was at hospital to visit my MIL and someone was smoking by the door of the hospital (and the sign that said not to smoke). I was having a lot of problems with my asthma that day so I covered my mouth and tried not to breathe. I didn’t say anything to her but she got all mad and said in a VERY rude tone “Is my smoking bothering you!” to which I said “YES! I have asthma and smoke makes me unable to breathe!” I wouldn’t have done anything but after that I went in and told the front desk.
.-= Lisa @Retro Housewife Goes Green´s last post ..Book Review: Smart Mama’s Green Guide =-.
oh i laughed so much at this one – my (canadian-born) son wages a constant war with me about saying “you’re welcome” whenever he says “thank you”. evidently my standard “a pleasure” isn’t canadian-enough for him
so yes, in this part of BC you canadians are incredibly polite
but unfortunately this is often used as an excuse to cover up really, truly appalling customer service and an unwillingness to find out the right information. wading thru official canadian bureaucracy as a newcomer is a nightmare and takes at least 3 different phone calls in 3 different weeks to accumulate the correct data.
and in scotland (since you asked) the correct response would have been to give the offender a jelly nose (http://books.google.ca/books?id=3CGt3hf7N9kC&pg=PA325&lpg=PA325&dq=jeely+nose+scots&source=bl&ots=jxb-m0XQ1g&sig=2Kwc_ayXhx0GN4RBieBpXxxvIQ0&hl=en&ei=zt1lS-bYG5DQsgP3kcGdAw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=8&ved=0CCYQ6AEwBw#v=onepage&q=&f=false)
.-= pomomama aka ebbandflo´s last post ..friday forte – the next dose =-.
As a Canadian living in the US- I would have to say that Canadians are totally more polite (and I live on the west coast as well).