Comments on: In the Middle Place

By: Lady M

Lady M — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 10:44:04 +0000

I don’t have very useful advice, except that I’ve been trying to be in the present more – to enjoy what I’m doing with the boys at the moment. Enjoy your (half) year! Where I get into trouble is late at night when I worry and work on the future, and it’d probably be better to get more sleep.

By: pomomama aka ebbandflo

pomomama aka ebbandflo — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 18:41:10 +0000

you’ve hit the nail right on the head! a lot of mums i talk with are experiencing exactly the same. i’ve found it’s a. difficult to make a decision and b. it’s weird doing anything without the wee guy in tow. lately i’ve been forcing myself to go out without him (when i have him in childcare or he’s with his dad of course, not leaving him home alone!!) and it can be hard. i’m also wondering what’s next for this late-in-life mama. my career choices are limited (as an immigrant my degree, qualifications etc aren’t immediately transferrable) and i also have the dilemma of being the at-home parent vs. trying for some satisfaction in the workplace.
i don’t think there is a right or wrong answer, and that is so unhelpful!
good luck out there

….. and i’m in for a trip to the middle place cafe.

By: Nan

Nan — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 02:22:30 +0000

Most definitely take time to enjoy. In the whole scheme of life, if the dishes or dusting wait, it won’t matter in a week or a month or a year. One day the kids will be grown and you’ll be able to throw yourself whole-heartedly into housework and creating zen-like balance with the iron and the vaccuum. But you’ll miss the moments of popcorn stars shining on the laminate and throwing the Christmas tree stand; rather they’ll become those precious memories that will make you smile whenever they come to mind. If you remember, you & your sister thought grilled cheese sandwiches cooked golden brown were raw; you thought they needed to be burned black!

To me being a mother was the most important job ever but I learned there’s no perfect way to go about it. I wanted to let my children know I loved them and I wanted to let them become who they were meant to be. I’ve seen mothers accomplish this whether they were heading off to work every day or if they were at home. I also have mixed feelings on daycare; although a parent’s love is precious, there’s also fun and learning to be had in associating with others your age and with your interests.

You all sound like wonderful parents that love your children and, in the end, that’s all they really need.

By: Emily R

Emily R — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 23:55:42 +0000

i LIVE in the middle place! let’s get together for coffee at the Middle Place Cafe.

By: Allison

Allison — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 22:55:03 +0000

I hear ya, sister! I keep saying my decision-making faculties are shrinking in inverse proportion to how my ass is, well, not, since having kids (overshare? sorry!). Grilled cheese or cottage cheese? Bake cookies or go to the library? Look for a job or stick my head in the closet door and slam repeatedly?
Taking a breath is always a good policy. Way to stop and smell the spilled popcorn

By: Heather

Heather — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 16:59:11 +0000

After spending 3.5 years at home with the girls I thought I would love being back at work once I got into the routine again. But, I don’t. I miss them so much and I feel like I am missing out on the party by being at work. Sure, I love the quiet time and my girls seem to be better children when not in my care, but I want my old life back.

I figure there are so many years left for me to work outside of the house. But, there are only a handful (literally) of years that I can spend with my babies before I have to send them out into the world on their own. I don’t want to look back on and say, I wish I had of…or I would have done it differently. It isn’t just for them, it is for me too.

I believe day care is great. But, there is no love and support like a mom or a dad at home with their children.

Good luck Amber – and you will always be a very educated wonderful engineer – but you are a mom too – and you and I both know that is much harder most days!