There’s this funny thing about being an adult – sometimes I think all of us are faking it. We’re just biding our time, watering the plants, until the real grown-ups show up and take over. Real adults are the people who don’t forget appointments, who always floss, who file their taxes well in advance, and whose children always wear clean, matching clothing. They’re so perfect you’d hate them, except that you need to believe the real grown-ups exist. If they don’t, the world will surely fall apart at the seams. We can’t hold it together without them.
Occasionally I manage to convince myself that I am a real adult. I mean, look at me. I have two children. I have a husband and a mortgage and a car in the garage. I sometimes catch myself saying things like, “Two wrongs don’t make a right,” and, “If you’re bored, go clean your room.” I even have an accountant, for heaven’s sake. You have to be a grown-up to have an accountant, right?
Where’s the real adult in this picture?
But then, when I start to feel all adult and capable, the veneer cracks. Here are some of the things I’ve done recently that have reminded me that maybe I’m not so grown-up after all:
- I was on a panel, speaking about moms and blogs, and I showed up to the wrong restaurant. I eventually found the right one, but I was 20 minutes late.
- When my daughter found a Lite Brite at my in-laws, I pushed her out of the way because she was doing it wrong.
- I got in trouble with one of my son’s daycare providers because I put something away for him that he was supposed to put away for himself, thereby interfering with his establishing independence.
- I forgot about my son’s doctor’s appointment, and I would have missed it completely, except I picked up my phone to check Twitter and saw the reminder five minutes in advance. Luckily it all worked out, though, because while we were 15 minutes late the doctor was 20.
- I forget myself and swear in front of my kids on a not-infrequent basis.
- I sometimes ignore it when my kids are doing things they shouldn’t, because I’m too tired to deal with it.
- I often spoil my dinner by eating chocolate as I’m cooking it.
- I spend way too much time playing Angry Birds.
- I am an ace at garbage jenga. This is where I don’t feel like taking out the trash, so I stack it up, until my husband can’t take it anymore and does it himself.
- I buy my kids mostly toys that I like, so that I can play with them.
- I raid my kids’ piggy banks when I’m low on cash and the field trip money is due. I always mean to pay them back, but I generally forget.
- I constantly have something on my shirt. While I would blame this on my children, the truth is that it’s at least 50% me.
Do you feel like a real adult, or do you feel like you’re pretending? What things do you do that real adults don’t, and vice versa? I want to hear all about it!
amberstrocel
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I’m a little bit afraid of the dark, so when we get home at night, I let the kids go first into the back yard, so they’ll scare away the giant bat and the rabid raccoon that I’m sure are back there.
Twitter: vibrantwanderer
says:
Your list both cracked me up and filled me with relief, because I definitely feel like I’m faking it much of the time. Being terrified of the dark is my biggest adult fail, but then I also take days, or even months to go to the post office with packages that need mailing.
Melissa’s last post … Happy half birthday to Annabelle, and anniversary to me!
Twitter: AmberStrocel
says:
You and Teresa reminded me that I, too, am afraid of the dark. I put on a brave face for the children, but before they were born I slept with the covers over my head so that whatever was out there would be less likely to see me.
Hi Amber,
Shhh, don’t let the little ones know that we are just pretending.
Your Lite Brite confession drew a knowing nod from me. I was good about restraining myself from ‘helping’ my girls in that way when they were little, but I’m finding it harder now that they are older. “No, it’s supposed to be like this!”
Fortunately, I’m sure that the actual adult things that you do outnumber the listed lapses by a long shot.
Ray Colon’s last post … When Blogging Gets Serious
Twitter: KimRosas
says:
I feel this way all the time. It’s funny when I look from the outisde in. It appears I am an adult. We just bought a home and are renovating it. I’m at Home Depot every day buying supplies. I drop the boy off at Pre-K, take care of the baby, work from home, etc.
But for the life of me I can’t get the hang of those invisible adult things like going to the DMV before my license expires, paying bills right when they come in, making important appointments without needing a reminder, getting my wisdom teeth removed even though it needs to happen ASAP. I feel you.
Great post!
Kim Rosas’s last post … Cloth Diapers in Daycare as Advocacy: Guest Post from Heather McNamara of the RDA
oh so, so funny!!
ditto on many if the above mentioned plus I’m still a little afraid of the ‘basement monster’ which sometimes requires me to run as fast as possible up the basement stairs…
=)
I will continue art time way past the point when my boys are no longer interested because I’m not done coloring my picture yet. I also get mildly upset when my son gets his coloring book out and “ruins” my work in progress.
I respect “real adults,” because they have it together and I really don’t, but I don’t envy them. I think being a “fake adult” is a lot more fun, even if it is more stressful.
Twitter: Apartment_Mama
says:
Haha great post Amber! Sometimes I feel like I’m pretending too but then I catch myself and get all sentimental and reflective when I realize that I’m actually someones mum. Making memories
Mama in the City’s last post … It Was A Splendid Saturday Buying Presents
Oh geez…this is me all over. Sometimes I catch myself wondering where the real adults are, and when they are going to show up and realize that someone has stupidly allowed me to be in charge of raising three children.
Amanda @ The Fun Mommy’s last post … Letting Go Of Perfect
Oh wow, I love this!! Sometimes I hear things like, “I was washing the baseboards,” or, “I had to get my marriage license out of the safety deposit box,” and I think…”Wish! I didn’t know I was supposed to do that kind of stuff!” So, this post really hits home!
*woah…not wish. Thanks autocorrect!
Twitter: thejaninefowler
says:
We talk about this all the time in my house. We stay up way past midnight and sometimes we eat ice cream for breakfast just because we can.
I know that I am a real grown up only because of how furious I get when older adults treat me like I’m a teenager. For years, my husband’s family friends treated me like a high school girlfriend (despite only meeting me once I was old enough to legally drink).
Janine’s last post … Three cheap & easy ways to entertain your toddler
Twitter: mothersofchange
says:
AWESOME. You made me feel so much better about not having all my shit together. Just this morning I was berating myself for spilling playdoh toys under the breakfast table and swearing… Glad I’m not alone… =)
And I’m working on my Shanti Uganda post right now (taking a short break, which would never ever be known publicly as procrastination) and super excited. =)
Melissa Vose’s last post … Labour Day Birth Rally~Edmonton!
LOVE IT!
On of my favorite activities it to Yell at Theo to STOP YELLING!
I also misplaced all of the daycare information but didn’t want to tell them so each time I went in for about 5 days, they’d tell me about something I’d failed to bring or label or whatever. Um. He need sa blanket. He need a mat. You need to label all his stuff… and so on!
harriet Fancott’s last post … Hey Lady! You brown?
I love this post and all the great comments! I too am one to yell, Stop Yelling! at my kids. I also curse too much, especially when I drop or trip over toys. It seems everyone else is way more grown up than me, and then I read a post like this
-Dana
Dana’s last post … Apple Farm Blues