Breastfeeding can be really hard. In fact, many new moms are surprised by just how hard. It’s the natural thing, after all. You would think it would come, you know, naturally. Sadly, that’s not always the case.
We hear lots and lots of stories about breastfeeding difficulties. I have even posted my own. I think it’s important to talk about the struggles that we face. It can help other moms who are dealing the same issues. Or, sometimes, it can just help us feel that we’re not so alone.
The problem with only talking about how hard breastfeeding can be is that it can make it all sound sort of horrible. I think it’s important to keep in mind that while many moms do face problems, not every mom does. And even those moms who struggle are often able to overcome their issues and foster a happy breastfeeding relationship. That was my experience with Hannah – it was a rough start, but in the end there was far more good than bad. And with Jacob, I was able to pretty much avoid any nursing problems altogether.
Jacob was born at 39 1/2 weeks gestation. My labour was short and uneventful. Or, you know, as uneventful as childbirth can ever possibly be. When he was born he was 7lbs 10oz and healthy, with apgar scores of 9 and 9. I was also healthy, and suffered no complications related to the birth. The midwife handed Jacob to me immediately, before cutting the cord or performing any other procedures. I held him skin-to-skin against my chest, and waited for him to seek the breast. He didn’t at first, he just seemed to be getting his bearings. The midwife took him and evaluated and weighed him, put a diaper on him, and warmed him under the lamp for a minute.
Once I had him back he was settled and ready to eat. I held him skin-to-skin again and he immediately sought the breast and latched on. In fact, he pretty much just nursed through the few hours we spent in the hospital after the birth. And once we got him home, he continued to want to nurse more or less non-stop during his first 48 hours. It was grueling, but I knew that by allowing him lots of unrestricted time at the breast he would be able to bring in my milk supply sooner, and that it would help avoid problems like jaundice.
And that’s pretty much what happened. When Jacob was weighed on day 3 he had gained half an ounce over his birth weight. My milk was in, and with a full belly he settled into a routine of nursing about 8-10 times a day. I got more rest. From that point on his weight gain was good and I was not in any discomfort. We are still nursing as we near the 15 month mark, and have not encountered any serious issues to speak of.
I definitely think that having breastfed another child did help me with Jacob. I knew far more about how to get breastfeeding off to a good start. But I also think that it was at least partly that Jacob was an organized and efficient nurser from the beginning. Either way, breastfeeding this time has been mostly about enjoying the relationship with my baby. While I absolutely recommend having a support system and knowing what to do when problems arise, I also know that not every problem will arise. Sometimes, it’s easier than you expect it to be.
Your story with Jacob pretty much mirrors my own with Amelia. She figured out the whole nursing thing much quicker than her sister and as a result didn’t lose any of her birthweight but instead put on about 1/2 a pound. It’s been smooth sailing ever since…I just wish she’d quit the twisting, pulling and other nursing acrobatics. My nipples are KILLING me!!
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Nice post! You’re right: we can focus on solving problems so much that having problems comes to seem like the prevailing experience.
My daughter was born big and hungry. When the midwife passed her to me, she wanted boobs! She had a perfect latch from the start, and I had good support (husband did all the chores for those first weeks of constant on-demand feeding), and a huge milk supply. She grew and grew, and I never had so much as a cracked nipple. We breastfed exclusively to 6 months, and continued on to 11 months, when she weaned herself to mutual satisfaction.
She was first. No troubles at all. (If you want to hear about troubles, ask me about colic and sleep issues! But breastfeeding? For us it was the easiest, most satisfying thing in the world)
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Breastfeeding is one of those things, like labour or having your wisdom teeth out, that people like to share horror stories about. Very rarely do we hear the other side of the coin – thanks for sharing this!
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Thank you for writing this positive and uplifting take on the whole thing. I had horrible breast-feeding experiences with Silas and I am determined not to let it stop me with my next child. I was young and inexperienced and had literally NO support system when he was born, so when we both came down with a nasty case of thrush, I was easily discouraged and ended up quitting really early on… I’ll be bookmarking this post, for sure. Next time I won’t give up so easily.
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Thanks for sharing this, Amber. I had difficultly breasting feeding my son early on (he’s my first), so it’s so great to hear that “next time” it needn’t be so difficult. We’re doing great now, of course, and breastfeeding has been wonderful for both of us, but I am so grateful for the public health nurses here in Canada that helped me troubleshoot those early difficulties. If it hadn’t been for them and their wonderful ’round-the-clock helpline and home visits, I’m sure I would have given up in discouragement. They were my support network (since none of the women in my family had ever breastfed) and those ladies are great! I only wish my friends and family in America had that kind of resource. And posts like yours are so helpful for reminding us that it’s not always difficult.
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That’s a nice post! I’m glad Jacob took to breastfeeding so well.
I’m envious too, as, due to various issues to do with Emilia’s birth, she never did manage to breastfeed successfully. (And I thought it was all going to be so easy!! Ha!) I always felt a bit of a failure as a mother, not even being able to feed my own child.
Still, every cloud has a silver lining – Emilia has severe reflux which often results in underweight babies but, in her case, bottlefeeding has meant that she has always had as much milk as she wants, no matter how much she vomited. She is consequently a (very!) large and healthy baby!
I had a lot of issues surrounding pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum, but nursing wasn’t one of them. This was not the case with many, if not most, of my friends, and I definitely felt lucky. I think you’re definitely right that you can’t judge what will happen with subsequent babies by difficulties with the first. And, as usual, I have to throw in my two cents that some people just can’t breastfeed for one reason or another and they shouldn’t be made to feel guilty or ‘a failure as a mother’ as a result.
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An easy breastfeeding story is so refreshing. I have hesitated to post my own easy breastfeeding story about my second daughter because it just seems so boring, but I think it is important to show that it really can be just this easy and there shouldn’t be any guilt for not having had problems, etc. Good job!
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I breastfed both of my kids and I’ll admit with my first it was a struggle. I had pretty much everyone but my husband telling me to give it up (including the public health nurse who visited me twice and called three times to check in). I persevered and at the six week mark it finally worked. My son settled to nurse and we were on the right path. It was disheartening to find so many people against me. My daughter was easier to nurse from the beginning but she gave up sooner and to my dismay completely weaned herself at 10.5 months. She would have given up weeks earlier but I struggled through with her to make it last as long as possible.
I think easy breastfeeding stories are great but I also like to hear the ones where it was a struggle and the struggle was overcome. It seems that so many people (including my public health nurse) think that if the baby and/or mom doesn’t get it in a few days that’s it -give it up.
Actually now that I think about it even the hospital tried to shove formula at us and I had to fight both times to let me keep trying to nurse. Gah!
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Thank you thank you thank you!
So many people have told me “Breastfeeding is so hard!” I usually just ignore them, but can’t help but wonder why I always saw my mother nursing with no problems, and all the baby animals and their mothers on the farm seem to figure it out. I just get sick of everyone telling me how hard it will be! I think if you go into it feeling nervous, that will make it more difficult (not that I would know from experience, but the preconceived notion is just annoying!)
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I AM A BIG TIME BREAST FEEDING SUPPORTER AND DID IT FOR MY TWINS FOR ONE YEAR..
I think we have to adjust our thinking here. Getting STARTED with breastfeeding was hard (and sometimes painful) BUT after both parties get the hang of it — WOW — it’s WAY easier than bottles, formula and all that crap!
I had a hellish time getting going with my first. And the massive engorgement and infections did not make it any easier for my little baby boy to get the proper latching strategy either.
BUT once we “got it” it was terrific for both of us. Convenient as can be! Always the right temperature, always sterile, always available, always the exactly correct nutritional value. Leaking and mild engorgement sometimes was a small price to pay for all those benefits. I did have to deal with bottles later as he rejected my breast at 7 months old. How annoying (and heartbreaking) it was dealin with bottles and measuring and getting it the right temperature and finding a nipple that he didn’t get frustrated with (the y-cut ones ended up being his fave), and the constant cleaning! Bah!
Baby boy #2 was easier. My milk had already come in the very minute he was born (nurse didn’t believe me, but there it was!), and he gave me only a couple blisters before figuring it out very smoothly. He was a happy breast-feeder until after his first birthday, and I appreciated every second of it.
Honestly though, I felt very angry that there was not better “training” for the whole nursing experience. They gave us so much instruction of what could happen during labour, with the videos and hospital tours, but only a couple minutes on different nursing holds and what the baby’s mouth should look like on latching was about it. it would have been really helpful for me to SEE a woman encouraging a baby to latch, correcting the position, dealing with a spontaneous letdown, etc…
PS Tracy Hogg’s “the Baby Whisperer” was the book that saved me with baby #2!!! I only wish I had had it for my first as well! She is genius and as close to a newborn instruction manual as I have found!!!!! I think that book may have helped prevent post partum Depression with my second, and imporved my confidence at baby care 100-fold.
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This is a wonderful story. It is great to be able to hold your baby right after birth and try to breast feed right away. I think my son was pretty much the same way, I tried to nurse him immediately, but he wasn’t quite ready. After I held him a bit and tried again he began sucking away. Some babies I hear pop out and go right for the breast! Amazing isn’t it! My son is now 11 months old and still going strong with breastfeeding…I think we’ll continue this relationship for a while longer, its worked out great for the both of us!