Keeping up Appearances

On Wednesday I had some people over. It was rather last minute, so the night before I dashed around (as best I could, Jacob is up and down like a toilet seat most evenings) in an attempt to make my home Presentable. Because the company can’t know the awful truth. Like how my kid’s art supplies are chronically strewn everywhere, or how we don’t sweep, so other than the brief period immediately following a visit from our cleaning lady our floors are covered in a patina of crumbs.

We all do this. Or at least most of us do this. We strive to keep up appearances. We pretend, for the benefit of others, that things are usually better than they really are. Or actually, it’s probably not really for others, but more for ourselves. We are preserving our reputations. We apologize when we haven’t been able to haul out the vacuum cleaner or sterilize the silverware. Because heaven knows we normally do it all, it’s just that we gave birth three days ago and things have been a little hectic.

I have some friends who are able to let it all hang out in front of others, and I really respect that. Nothing made me feel better as a new mom than knowing there were other people out there who hadn’t cleaned their bathroom in the past few weeks, either. Those of us who have small kids at home know that it’s nearly impossible to carve out the time to keep up with it all. And when you do try to do the dishes or what-have-you while the toddler’s awake, dollars to donuts she’s just making a worse mess someplace else. Cutting yourself some slack and giving up the facade may just be the best thing you can do.

I know some people suggest involving your small child in your work. “Make folding laundry into a game! Your baby will love it!” If you can make this work, you have my utmost admiration. I have had little success. My babies have not been interested in laundry, beyond destroying any neatly folded piles I’ve made. Unloading the dishwasher has also not been a big hit with the short people, who may half-heartedly bring me spoons, but quickly discover it’s more fun to bang cutlery on pot lids and making an unholy racket. I have hope that as they get older things will improve, but for now the heavy lifting in the cleaning department falls to the big people.

So, for the most part, I clean when the kids are otherwise engaged or asleep. This is also when I watch TV, knit, read, have a shower, file my taxes, and so on and so on. It’s no surprise that I simply don’t get around to the dusting. I feel like I need a little bit of time for myself, when I’m not wiping someone else’s bottom or cleaning up their mess, or I will go insane. So I take it, and I leave the clutter where it lies.

One of my favourite bloggers, Stefani over at Blue Yonder, started a group on Flickr. (Have I mentioned lately how much I love Flickr? It’s the cat’s meow, seriously.) The group is called In Real Life, and it features photos of people’s sinks full of dishes, their cluttered entryways, and their crying children. Go check it out, and feel much better about yourself.

As for me, I will probably keep cleaning for the company. So should you visit my home and wonder how I manage to keep my entryway free of clutter, know that I in fact don’t manage it. I’ve probably just stuffed our piles of junk precious belongings in some closet out of sight. It will be our little secret.

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