I was raised to be very punctual. In fact, being any less than 10 minutes early was viewed as tardiness. I remember vividly being rushed out the door for swimming lessons only to be the first ones to arrive. Being ready to go well in advance of departure, leaving lots of time for travel, and keeping an eye on the clock were traits that I picked up as a young child.
I have always believed that organization and planning were important. They keep you on schedule, prevent you from being late. I didn’t really understand why parents seemed to find it so difficult to get out the door and arrive on time. I remember saying to a co-worker with children that with proper planning it surely wouldn’t be that hard. He laughed. Really hard. I felt slightly nervous.
Then baby Hannah was born and I understood my co-worker’s laughter. Something would always interfere with my efforts to leave the house. The baby would take an ill-timed nap, and you wouldn’t want to wake her. She would have a blowout as I was buckling her into her car seat. I would misplace the diaper wipes, and there’s no way I was leaving the house without the diaper wipes. It was always something.
I thought that I would become better at getting my kid out the door as I gained more experience. But I didn’t, because Hannah matched me step for step. She wanted to dress herself, she didn’t like the outfit I chose, she had to go to the bathroom. Her development has always been one step ahead of my delay avoidance tactics. Adding baby Jacob to the mix 9 months ago didn’t help any, either.
These days I experience a lot of lost time. Say I need to be somewhere at 2:00. It will take 7 minutes to drive there. At 1:30 I start getting things organized. I get everyone together, deal with a few issues, and get the kids buckled into their car seats. Someone is crying, I pass a toy or snack and cross my fingers. Then I exhale, because that didn’t take long at all. I can drive the long way and Jacob will fall asleep, which will make the outing so much easier. I am Mama, hear me roar!
Then I turn the ignition. My clock lights up and it is 2:03. I could have sworn it was just 1:30! I have lost 30 minutes of my life and I don’t know where they went. They have disappeared into the chasm of buttoning and lacing and arguing over which sweater, and I will never see them again. Yet again, I will be running my kids through parking lots and making excuses and issuing apologies. Because I lost time.
Luckily most people are pretty understanding. Anyone who has children of their own has been in my shoes. Half the kids you see in recreation centres are being dragged along by a running parent yelling, “Hurry up! You’re going to be late!” So I’m in good company, which brings me some comfort.
How about you? Have you found the magical secret to getting kids out the door? If so I would be forever grateful if you would share it with me.
even with one kid i still find it difficult to leave the house in less than 20 minutes. i laughed (hollowly) when you described yours matching you step for step – ditto, with bells on! this week it actually got so bad i lost all will to make it to the outside world and we stayed in all day (and yes, even missed school as he was so awful and i felt so crap)
my only slightly sanity-saving tip is to keep everything needed for the great outdoors corralled in one place ie. hats, gloves, scarves, diaper kit, sun tan lotion, bug repellant, tissues, wipes and so on (and yes, in multiples so that when husband has made an outdoor excursion and forgotten to replace you’re not left tearing your hair out trying to find the stuff and get out)
it kind of works, or at least when you are finally ready you can just grab and go
(hollow laugh)
If I have to be somewhere at 1, I plan to be there by 12:45 and start getting ready half an hour before that. I decided just this school year, six (now seven) years into parenting, that it is way less stressful to be on time for everything, and I am willing to sacrifice my own time to do it.
I have a 100 percent on-time record for 195 days of elementary school so far this year! Five more to go
I’m waiting for my medal to arrive in the mail….
Our childhoods sound similar. My dad used to rush us out the door to get to the movies only to be about 30 minutes earlier than the previews even started. It was so boring. This isn’t one time, this was like every movie I ever went to with my dad, and my dad LOVED to go to movies, probably like 2 a month!
I am groaning out loud reading your post.
My darling sons are STILL doing this to me at 12 and 8 years old! They can’t find one shoe, lost their coat, the notice that NEEDS to be signed TODAY (and it’s the first I heard of it), dawdling over breakfast then spilling something…. the list goes on and on. Just when I think I have it organized to the point of fool proof, they find a new delay. Since their infancies sound similar to your experiences listed, I’d say they are still matching me step for step!
I USED to be the person that was early (I miss those days sometimes). I always saw tardiness as disrespectful. Now I am just lucky to get somewhere looking somewhat sane and within a reasonable amount of lateness. Dishevelled is a normal look for me now that I am a mom.
I so hear you. I used to be early for everything. Now being five minutes late IS early for us. It has gotten better as they’ve gotten older, and it helps that I don’t work, so I don’t have to add getting myself to look presentable to the list of things needing to be done before we get out the door (I just gave up on looking presentable. I’m also considering shaving my head and buying identical black clothes for every day of the week). But today they were playing in the basement and Eve fell and hit her head and when I raced downstairs, Angus was hugging her and rubbing her head. That kind of thing makes up for a lot of other bullsh*t.
we’re usually more or less on time these days. i always give a lot of time to get ready and never stop getting ready even if we’re early. i figure i’d rather arrive early than stop and relax, only to have a crisis at the last moment.
but, strangely, it has gotten easier now that i care a little less about being on time.
Thank god for cell phones, for the inevitable, “We’re running late, but on our way” calls. When making plans with other parents, we jointly agree to a plus/minus 15 minute meet-up time!