When you have two kids, it’s not always easy to set aside time to spend one-on-one with them. For me, this is especially true of my older child, Hannah. Her little brother Jacob still breastfeeds and co-sleeps. He stays home when she goes to preschool or when she spends a night at her grandparents’ house. He’s younger and has more need of me, so I spend more time with him. And there’s nothing wrong with that, in particular.
All the same, Hannah sometimes tells me that she wants me to herself. She wants to spend some time together, just the two of us, doing things that we can’t do with her brother because he’s 2 and sort of destructive. She wants to do 5-year-old things with her mom, and I can’t blame her.
And so, when I went to get a haircut (woo hoo!) last weekend, I invited Hannah along. She jumped at the chance. And she decided that she wanted a haircut, too. She wanted her hair to look just like mine, which pleased me maybe just a little bit more than is strictly reasonable. I am still my daughter’s idol, the person she most wants to emulate, and I love it. So we did it.
Our mother-and-daughter haircuts. Also – where’s my lollipop?
But first we stopped in at Starbucks for drinks. And we stopped at the post office for package that we had to pick up. We listened to Hannah’s music on the radio and I let her have her car window open, just how she likes it. And I thought, you know, my kid is pretty cool. It might be my bias speaking, but I really like hanging out with her.
At the salon we were seated apart from each other and Hannah was nervous. But once the stylist asked her a few questions she started talking and didn’t stop. “I have a little brother, but he’s not allowed to come here, because he would just destroy the place. His name is Jacob. This is my hot chocolate, we went to Starbucks. Hot chocolate is my favourite. It has whipped cream and sprinkles on it. Today I’m going to my friend’s house for a party …” She was in her element, man. And I was happy just to listen to her.
My life can be pretty hectic. Sometimes it feels like there will never be enough time in the world for all of the stuff that I’m trying to get done. I know, I know – join the club. All the same, I’m so glad that I took an hour out of my week for a much-needed haircut and some quality time with my daughter. Who wants to be just like me, bless her little soul.
How do you make one-on-one time with your kids? Tell me!
Once every month or so, I try to take each of my daughters out separately. With Antonia, my 5YO, we usually go shopping and maybe for Starbucks (she likes the strawberries & cream frapp). Michaela, my 3YO, is happy to go anywhere – so it is usually errands… it really is nice to have one-on-one time with them! ♥
Sawyer and I just had a mommy and me day for his birthday (went to the library to get his library card now that he is a big boy of 3, stayed for story time and had lunch). And you are right a day like that makes you realize that yeah my kid is really cool and I’m not doing such a bad job after all! Very validating!
themombshell’s last post … the story of my Sawyer
Right now I am fortunate that I get quite a bit of alone time with Sarah because her little brother has big naps. We have a good 3 hours to craft and bake etc. I finding it hard to get alone time with Jack. In the fall when Sarah goes to pre-school, it will start to happen.
I like the haircuts.
Lisa’s last post … Wordless Wednesday
I’ve only been a mom of two for 6 days now, but I try to spend time singing songs with my toddler while I nurse the newborn. At the moment that’s the best I can do.
TopHat’s last post … The Beginning of the Babymoon
Like you, I always cherish the one-on-one time I get with my girls. When my youngest fell asleep early the other night, Madelyn was in her glory. She could talk to mommy without getting interrupted, we read books together, play on the computer together and watch shows together. And when Madelyn is at a play date Tegan and I do the things she likes to do – dance and bake.
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I know V wants more one-on-one time with us as well. But you know, I actually feel a bit guilty if I’m taking her out to do something just for her because I know that unless her sister happened to be napping when we left, she FREAKED out as we left because SHE wants to do cool fun stuff too.
It’s a tough thing, balancing the needs of a toddler with the needs of a prescholer
carrie’s last post … Rambling through the garden
I don’t have 2 but I plan on it, and I am constantly wonder how Moms handle the time spent between two kiddos? I give you all a lot of credit in finding time to juggle YOUR time. My son is 20 months and he’s reached a very needy stage, and grabs my hand to show me what he’s doing, what he’s playing with, what he’s watching, what he’s reading… anything! I love these moments because I do stop what I’m doing to show him my undivided attention when I can. He and I spend 45 hours a week apart. It’s hard for both of us, but we manage to make our time full of quality time. But how to Moms handle multiples AND work AND school/daycare time? It is a question that I think about daily.
Sara’s last post … Burts Bees
It’s hard, but you can do it! Lots of staying up late at night to get your own “me time” (at least that’s what I do, and perhaps suffer from it from lack of sleep, but oh well!) so you can spend those precious evening hours after work focused on the kiddos.
Also, weekends are a lot of fun, and much more relaxed than the week.
kelly @kellynaturally’s last post … Going Vegan
I take my oldest to movies and plays that are not yet suitable for his younger brother. We’ve also gone to a couple of concerts together and that was fun. I really liked that I got to take him to his first rock concert! With my youngest, we hit the park together or I just take him along on general errands. He’s Hannah’s age, he just likes to be with me doing whatever. It’s hard to carve out that alone time with them, but so important and worth the arrangements it takes to make it happen.
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When the toddler is sleeping the older boy and I hang out together. He likes to play video games, I’m not really a fan of them, but I play with him because he enjoys it.
Amy’s last post … Assumed names
I was a single parent with four young kids for many years. What I ended up doing was assigning a “day” to each child. On their day, I’d do one-on-one things with them when possible, let them choose what to watch on TV or what I’d make for a snack, etc. Not that the others got neglected, but the child of the day got my extra focus and attention. The others were okay with that because their days were coming soon!
Teresa
My daughter also wants one-on-one time with me, though she was a bit younger (2.5) than Hannah when her yonger brother was born, so maybe she doesn’t remember AS much that she had me all to herself at one point (or maybe that’s me rationalizing). Also, now that he’s three, and she’s still 5, I find they are playing together quite nicely. Most of the time.
That doesn’t excuse me from not having 1 on 1 time with each of them… but its a struggle at times.
When I get home from work – even though I don’t work a full day, they’ve both been in school, and we’re all tired, and sometimes all I really want to do is nap, ha! But… they both need a little Mommy Time. We usually play a board game on the floor together or sometimes one will want to read and I’ll do some small activity with the other for a few minutes…. the 1-on-1 time when they’re both home though is minimal.
My son also still nurses in the morning (1-on-1 time for him), and they both cosleep… and I try to stay in with them until they’re both asleep each night (1-on-1 kinda – I lie in the middle).
I read with my daughter before bed each night, and my son enjoys preparing dinner with me.
But still most of our activities are done as a group.
Your outing with Hannah sounded fun. I will have to give that a try – and daddy can have some time alone with DS!
kelly @kellynaturally’s last post … Going Vegan
Before I had the baby I used to really enjoy my one on one time with my five year old. He was just the right age to take on those little adventures and we would treat ourselves and talk and oh how lovely it is/was.
Things are a little more….tricky right now
The oldest has really gotten bumped down the mommy line. I’m trusting it will all work out though. Right now he’s relying more on Dad which is great!
Hillary’s last post … hillaryboucher- Self-Portraiture RT @hillaryboucher Photo Friday – The Mask http-bitly-aULqFl
When I have errands to run and Steve is able to stay home with one child, I will happily take the other..and vice versa for Steve. Simple things like taking all the cans to be recycled and then for an ice cream cone become very special moments. I remember as a kid, and teenager, my dad would take me to wash the car. It was something that just he and I did…which usually involved some one getting overly soaked! But, DQ was close by and we would dry off as we chilled out with cone. It really doesn’t matter what the activity is, just doing stuff with your kids is good.
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My older son and I love to go on dates!
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What a sweetie, love how she was so chatty while getting her hair done…it is stories about her that make me ever so slightly wistful that I don’t have a daughter. Thanks for the reminder, I need to schedule some special time with my son – same scenario where I spend more alone time with the youngest.
I love one on one time with each of my kiddos. I think I have some pretty awesome kids (of course, ha!) but I forget some of their really special quirks/sweetness until I am with them solo, and they aren’t competing for attention. Love it.
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Whenever we take our twins out one at a time, we are amazed how well behaved they are.
Ironic Mom’s last post … The Vegetable Truck- Lying to My Children
You had a few phrases that are in my thoughts exactly:
“he’s 2 and sort of destructive.” yep, I know that one.
“It might be my bias speaking, but I really like hanging out with (them).”
Lady M’s last post … Through a Foggy Window
How lovely. And how different from when Eve was five and the hairdresser did her bangs a certain way and she said, with consummate disgust “oh great! I look like my MOTHER.”
Also, mama-hannah makes me think ‘manah’, which makes me think of the ‘manah manah’ song, which makes me happy. (doo DOo doo doo doo).
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My eldest is always much more well-behaved when she has my attention to herself. We usually spend time together during the toddler’s naps to read stories or do elaborate projects, but going out together is definitely more special. Thanks for reminding me to schedule that in soon!
Michelle @ The Parent Vortex’s last post … The Pros and Cons of Homeschooling
I had a day just like that with my daughter today. We both had dentist appointments. We were on either side of the partition wall and I could hear her telling stories to the hygienist. It was priceless. After we went for lunch & a little shopping. As she’s getting older we are starting to do these errands together more often. After her brother goes to bed she usually joins me in the garden to water the plants, or sometimes she’ll head out with her father for a little time flying the miniature plane before it gets dark. She enjoys getting these perks, especially as she knows her brother is not allowed
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It is important, but ot easy to do. I try to do something with just me and girl on the weekend. Tomorrow we are going to a fairy tea party! I could bring the boy along but I thought it would be more fun this way.
Capital Mom’s last post … Neck
Nice haircut Amber, I love layers! I don’t go on solo dates really, and the last time I went to the hairdresser my youngest came with me just because I didn’t know where to leave her and I badly needed a haircut!
Francesca’s last post … Corner View me
the Wee Guy and I are blessed/cursed with him being a singleton so most our ‘worries’ are finding friends his own age to socialise with. however, he makes a great date. we do a lot together, from the boring running errands to the fun coffee and cookie at Starbucks, to reading together in the reading nook at the library. so far he’s been involved in all the running the house stuff as well as activities ranging from Movies for Mommies to sitting in on volunteer Board of Director meetings and haircuts/dental appointments. until fulltime (cough, cough) schooling started we were each other’s shadows …. and on the whole it was fun.
if only it was so easy to arrange playdates for him!
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