Some mornings I cry when I wake up. Not because I’ve had a bad dream, or my neck hurts, or I have something unpleasant to do that day. I cry because I have been ripped from my comfortable slumber at I-Don’t-Even-Want-to-Know o’clock by the friendly little fellow that I gave birth to, and try as I might I cannot convince him that going back to sleep for another hour or two is a good idea. So I bury my head in my pillow and have a 20-second pity party before I plaster on my game face and struggle to my feet.
This is the reality of parenthood. It’s not the sticky fingers or the relentless whining or the insipid children’s music that really get to me, it’s the way that I have no control over what time I wake up. I cannot allow a 16-month-old to wander the house unsupervised, if I want both 16-month-old and house to remain standing. I have no TV to park the child in front of, and he’s a little young for TV anyway. And, to my chagrin, I have found no successful way to make a child sleep in almost 5 years of living with children. This is the lot I chose when I decided to procreate, waking up on someone else’s schedule.
My little alarm clock, with evidence of the day’s chaos all over his face
While I cry into my pillow Mr. Wake-me-up is relentlessly cheerful. He laughs as he climbs all over me and turns my bedside lamp on and off, on and off. He smiles and coos as he pokes his finger at my eye to see if it will open. He ignores his father’s groans when he turns on the clock radio and dances. Finally, the kid hands me my slippers as if to say, “Put these on and follow me, we shall venture forth to meet the day.” In spite of myself I find this so charming that I comply, not even all that reluctantly.
Every night I swear that I will go to sleep earlier, so that the early morning isn’t quite so abrupt. But when the peace finally descends on the house I find myself using the quiet to my advantage. My kids are not good nappers. They wake early and live hard all day. If I want uninterrupted time to myself when I’m not holding at least one little person, it has to come at night. For example, as I write this it’s a little after 10pm and my trusty toddler alarm clock is hurtling headlong to morning. But I tell myself I have adapted. I can function on 7 hours of sleep far better than I used to function on 8 1/2. My justifications are even mostly true, so I continue to push the boundaries, and cry into my pillow.
Do you fall prey to the evening quiet, too? Or are you an early riser? How do you find your moments of peace amidst the chaos?
I could’ve written this.
Except mine is 3, and her sister is 12 months.
.-= Heather´s last post ..Decorating Cookies for Santa =-.
we babyproofed the entire house, installed a secure baby gate and were very firm about waking up mummy and daddy if their eyes weren’t already open right from the start. it’s one area of our adult life we weren’t willing to compromise on. wee guy was re-directed to play with his toys in another room or sleep quietly. it took quite a while, with some yelling on both sides but it’s been worth it. we are all relatively early risers but not that early!
My husband is kind enough to take the early shift. He finds it hard but he still functions better in the morning than I do. And I do mean easly morning. If the 15 month old sleeps until 5am we are thrilled. Leaving him in his room to cry or play isn’t really an option since he then wakes his sister and then they are both up.
I try to be asleep by 10pm. That is my goal. Every night.
Right now, with both kids sick, I think we would be lost without tv. I feel a bit guilty about letting them watch it but there is no energy for much else. And it is impossible not to let him watch it with her.
I would really like to hire a babysitter from 4am to 7:30am. That would be money well spent!
.-= Capital Mom´s last post ..Christmas Day =-.
Oh, yes, I feel your pain just reading this post. Sleep — or lack thereof, I should say — is so completely critical to how I will be able or unable to function during the day. I am a complete and utter emotion wreck on less than 5 hours, semi-lucid on 5-6, and good on 7-8, but so much better with 8-9 hours. Fortunately, sleep habits are very ingrained here unless there is sickness or nightmares.
As for falling prey to the evening quiet? I really try not to. For me, it’s like drinking too much the night before — the headache in the morning is just not worth it. So my evenings are extremely dull and involve me dropping into bed shortly after my eldest and reading until the book falls on my face.
Wishing you more sleep …. (and less crying) …. Julie
Sleep is a far distant memory. I am usually in bed by 9pm. My day starts abruptly at 5am. If I go to bed at 9pm then the 5am start only feels like a culture shock (i.e. NO ONE should be up at this time, why are they doing that around here…) but at least I had about 7-8 hours sleep. I.e. if madam doesn’t wake in the night, the cat doesn’t bring a living rodent in, my husband doesn’t snore or has forgotten to switch his phone to silent (an email interrupting my slumber). So, the reality is that like a lot of mothers I get less than 5 hours a night. And they are not in one piece… sigh.
.-= Mel´s last post ..Keep him in your thoughts =-.
I have been BLESSED. My currently 2 and half year old has been sleeping in 11-13 hour nightly blocks since she was about 3 months old. The problem is, I have no idea how we “trained” her to do this. I’m scared to death because #2 (a boy) is due in less than 2 weeks and I am afraid of what his sleeping patterns will be… As a side note (and so you might not hate me as much) my daughter is an AWFUL napper….but if I had my choice, I’d take the full night time sleeping any day.
I do take advantage of the “quiet” time at night, and sometimes insomnia kicks in and her 9am wake up comes too soon. Hang in there…and thanks for sharing! Love your insight and honesty!
Every morning I promise myself that I will go to bed earlier that night and every night I savor the lovely quiet to work on my computer, talk with Hubby, read a book or two that I never get to sleep before 11:30pm. I regret it every morning but I can’t help myself.
.-= Marilyn´s last post ..Of All the Things I’ve Lost, I Miss my Bladder Control the Most =-.
This is so me. I swear, SWEAR, that I’m going to go to bed earlier tonight. And then i don’t, because the only way to have quiet me-time is to stay up till midnight. And then the kids get early. Every. Damn. Time.
I’m holding out until the teenage years when we’re all on the same schedule. LOL
.-= Summer´s last post ..What Do You Need To Give Birth? Google and A Blackberry Apparently. =-.
I cry with you…. my lovely little sprouts are cruel in their morning revelry at ungodly hours too! I would rant, cry and beg to no avail…. sleep deprevation has to be the cruelest part of raising young ones.
Now that they are older I can yell from my bedroom…. “BE QUIET!!!!” and pray they will comply.
The saving grace was when one of them was old enough to read a digital clock. The rule is if the clock doesn’t say “7:–” then they aren’t allowed out of their room yet (on pain of angry grumpy mom). I have been known to over-react if woken too early (picture Grizzly Momma Bear with a headache) so they at least know what’s coming!
I keep hoping that puberty will make the oldest one sleep in (I have heard that is a side-effect)but it hasn’t happened yet.
.-= *pol´s last post ..SANTA IS COMING! =-.
Like you, I have my “me” life late at night.
Buster still sleeps in his crib, so he doesn’t wake me by crawling over me. Instead, I hear, “Mommy . . . mommy . . . mommy . . . mommy . . . mommy” until I stagger to his room.
.-= Lady M´s last post ..With Love From Our Family to Yours =-.
I also find waking up on my kids schedule one of the hardest parts of parenthood:( I’m an early riser. But my own bed time is also determined by my kids, and I’ll take advantage of a quiet house in the evening when and if I have the energy!
.-= Francesca´s last post ..Indoors together =-.
Oooo, I stay up way too late, into the wee hours of the morning just to be woken at about 6am, or today at 4am (although she went back to sleep in our bed after that). I often nap when our daughter naps on the weekend, but as she is three I fear my napping days are numbered.
I feel your pain and know it well. It’s one of the hardest things, never ever waking up when you feel refreshed. EVERY DAY being jolted awake to the sounds of one child or the other. Just this morning I brought the 10mo to bed with me, he nursed and shockinly cuddled up to sleep a little longer. I thought it was BLISS! Not 5 minutes later my 3yo was calling from the other room. And so the day began.
.-= Christine LaRocque´s last post ..Keeping calm before the storm =-.
Hi Amber,
As a working mom, I’m usually the first one up in my house but I do remember my maternity leave as a quest for sleep. With baby#1 I strategically planned my sleeping. I was in bed by 9pm while hubby watched baby until 11pm when she would finally go to sleep. At 1am she would be up for a feeding and then sleep until 5am. I would be awake from 1am to 2am generally then at 5am to 6am and back to bed until 8am. That worked for a little while….These days, my 3 year old is fighting bed time and so my quiet evenings are not so quiet and my alone time is sparse. My only escape on the days I’m not working is to close and lock the bathroom door for a few moments of uninterrupted solitude. It is what it is and on those days I get less than 6.5 hours of sleep (usually the weekends), I’m back to bed for an afternoon nap while hubby watches the kids.
I think I’m going to quit blogging and just point people here. LOL.
I am the same about not wanting to wake and about saying I will go to bed earlier but then not wanting to give up the quiet time.
I have one who still naps sometimes but another who doesn’t and now a newborn so naps for me are also out of the question.
The big two are starting to get better about playing alone in their rooms when they wake up. It’s hit or miss but better than nothing.
.-= Recovering Procrastinator´s last post ..Gifts for infants: Beyond bibs and booties =-.
I canNOT convince myself to go to bed at a decent hour. All that lovely quiet is just too tempting.
.-= Lauren @ Hobo Mama´s last post ..Taking stock of my visitors =-.
Amber~ we have tried to take in our quiet time during nap time but have realized the naps aren’t consistant. Our 13 month old son goes to bed between 7/7:30 and sleeps till 7am-ish. But by 9pm, I’m so wiped from my day that I’m struggling to stay awake. I’ve adapted to having ‘me’ time from 8-9 and if I can stay up an hour later, woo-hoo!