Last Saturday I spoke on the Family Matters Panel at Northern Voice, along with 5 other fabulous women – Danielle, Manda, Harriet, Lesley and Kerry. If you want to read more about panel, you can check out Blogging the Parenthood Experience and “Family Matters: Blogging the Parenting Experience”.
I thought that the panel went well. The downside was that with 6 panelists and only 45 minutes, we didn’t get to explore the issues as deeply as I would have liked. One of the topics that we didn’t really get to cover fully was the relationship between public relations professionals and bloggers, and mombloggers in particular.
When I started blogging I kept to myself. I didn’t hear from anyone, and certainly not from PR folks pitching me ideas. Why would I have? They weren’t interested in me, I had no readers. This is how things were on this blog for the first 5 1/2 years. And it’s how I wanted them to be.
Look, it’s my name!
Things changed when I decided that I needed a maternity leave project when my 2nd child Jacob was small. I started commenting on other blogs and writing more regularly here. My goal was not to make a fortune or to win the notice of PR firms. My goal was to connect with like-minded moms, hone my writing and give my time at home some structure. Blogging was something I did for myself, at a time when nearly every part of my life was about my family.
As my blog grew, I started receiving emails from folks pitching me ideas and offering me freebies. The first offer I received wasn’t a good fit and I felt tremendously guilty about that. Someone got in touch with me, said that he liked me and wanted to work with me. It was tremendously flattering. I hadn’t really known to expect this, and no one told me how to handle it. I am an engineer, for Pete’s sake. Engineers just don’t get asked to talk about snack food or cleaning products.
Wearing my super-cool Northern Voice conference T-shirt
Like a lot of bloggers, I don’t come from a professional journalism or writing background. This means I have had to figure out how a lot of this works on my own. These days, if I get a pitch that isn’t a good fit I am comfortable with politely declining. That’s what I do with the vast, vast majority of the pitches I receive. I view my relationship with you fabulous people as one of trust, and I don’t want to waste your time, or tick you all off, or compromise my own principles. I occasionally blog about cool stuff I love, and usually it’s something I bought with my own money. That’s my comfort level, which I have defined for myself.
We can’t expect bloggers to just know how to interact with the marketing world if we don’t tell them. But it’s something we would all benefit from knowing more about. For me blogging is not about the PR or the free stuff, and I don’t want it to be. For me blogging is about community and writing and sharing ideas. But all the same, I find myself fielding these inquiries and answering these emails.
All the bloggy folk catching the keynote
I do think that bloggers and their platforms deserve respect. Like many bloggers, I have experienced some behaviour that feels less-than-respectful. I’m asked to be a brand ambassador for free, but the idea of paying for ad space is dismissed. On a few occasions I have had nasty replies when I’ve declined an offer. Some PR folks claim to be ardent readers but compliment me on my 5-year-old ‘son’ when I have a 5-year-old daughter. And some ask me to write about events I can’t attend because they’re 3000 miles away. I don’t fault someone for reaching out, but take a minute to read my ‘All About Me’ page to see if I’m a good fit, first.
I created this blog through hard work. And make no mistake, it represents a lot of my time and emotional capital. I am so proud of this space, and I am so pleased when people come to visit. I am not going to hand over the keys to just anyone. That doesn’t mean that I expect to only get pitches I love. I’m cool if we’re not a good fit, or if we respectfully disagree, or what-have-you. Really. I just want my worth and, most importantly, my readers’ worth to be recognized.
Catching one of the sessions
So, what’s the answer? I think that we need to better equip bloggers to understand the PR machine, so that they can navigate it themselves. And I think that we need to all be professional. We don’t all have to have the same blogging goals, and we don’t all have to follow the same conventions. But we can all play nice, and treat each other well.
Reading through this post, I see why we couldn’t get into this on the panel. There is just not enough time in the world when I get going. That doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be said, though. Mombloggers are not all the same. But regardless of how we blog, we all deserve respect. And the platforms we have built on our own, without a road map, should be valued.
Do you blog? Have you been approached by PR folks? How do you feel about the way that marketers and bloggers interact? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
I have yet to be approached by any PR people..no wait, I had one but since it was for a company that produces meat products obviously I wasn’t a good fit and I declined. When I got that one I was initially flattered and thought, “wow, someone noticed my blog other than a person I actually KNOW!!” but once they told me what the event was about I thought, “gee, you’d think they might have clued in I’m vegetarian and perhaps wouldn’t be a good fit”
I’ve since noted it doesn’t specifically mention that in my About Me on my blog (something I guess I should include, not that they’ll read it
) but it DOES say it in my Twitter profile and somehow I suspect that is how they found me considering the pitch was through a DM on Twitter.
The fact these guys/gals DON’T take a moment to actually read someone’s profile is really disrespectful. I hope as time passes and there are more events like the one coming up at the Opus that PR people will figure out how to reach out to a very lucrative market.
I’m still 2 minds as to whether or not I even want to open myself up to the whole marketing thing…I feel a blog post coming on
.-= Carrie´s last post ..(sort of) Wordless Wednesday: Brides-to-Be, eat your hearts out! =-.
No offers for me yet. But it actually is my goal to make a little bit of piddly-ass pocket change here. So yeah, I agree, somebody (not me) should develop a method for PR people, advertisers and mombloggers to have helpful discourse that involves a healthy exchange of ideas and money. Did I mention money? Because although I love what I do – IT COMPLETES ME! – it would be nice to be able to afford to do it.
.-= tricia´s last post ..Being trendy! Like the Emperor! But with rubber(s). =-.
I’m still new to the blogging world and I think it’s so neat there are conferences. I mean, what goes on at them? What do you talk about? Is it like a PTA meeting where you have a coffee/tea and danish then discuss important matters? What other topics were discussed at the conference last weekend? (shockingly, I was surprised to see so many men in your picture)
.-= Sara´s last post ..Missing the passion =-.
This conference was directed at all bloggers and social media enthusiasts, not just women or moms. In fact, there was only one momblogger-related panel, the one that I was on, and that was a first in 6 years of the conference. Other panels were about things like blogging and journalism, podcasting, turning your blog into a book and so on. I would say that the conference was mostly male, and that as a parenting blogger I felt in the minority.
PS— I have a Bachelors degree in Marketing… maybe there is something to say about this PR business for bloggers?? I’ll have to check it out!
.-= Sara´s last post ..Missing the passion =-.
Amusingly enough, I just received the first approach from an ambiguously named promotions outfit a couple of days ago. I asked for some further details, but I’m not terribly hopeful. I agree with Tricia though — it’s a pipe dream, but any tiny income at all from blogging would be really great. I’d like to be contributing something financially to the household again.
.-= allison´s last post ..*****************(Won’t You Take Me to) Crazy Town =-.
Great topic, Amber! I’ve only been blogging for less than a year, so in comparison to you I really am a newbie.
But here’s my perspective: If I receive a generic request from a PR person that doesn’t relate to me or my blog, I just delete it. I don’t consider it disrespectful, I just consider it poor PR. (And that they are likely using these same kind of poor PR tactics with a variety of other media, not just blogs – newspapers get tons of mass news releases that go straight into the garbage too.) If that same PR person had spent the time to research and contact 10 highly qualified prospects instead of mass emailing 100 un-qualified prospects, they would have spent their time more effectively and enhanced their company’s reputation. I don’t feel bad deleting it either – clearly he or she spent no time on it, so why should I?
Luckily though, I receive very few of these. The PR folks who contact me are generally bright, young and keen to engage and create a community. With these people, I take the time to respond and clearly explain my position and what kind of compensation I feel is fair.
I was thinking about this just this morning … not that I get PR pitches (I don’t blog on that scale), but I have wondered how you very serious and committed bloggers navigate the marketing waters–especially mommy bloggers since I feel you have a greater responsibility to your readers about these types of things. Thanks for explaining your policies. It sounds like you’ve given this a lot of serious thought, and I appreciate that you’ve got our “backs.” You are one of the hardest-working bloggers I know.
.-= Sarah´s last post ..A table of his very own… =-.
I love your point about equipping bloggers to deal with the PR machines. Many, many bloggers have only recently been exposed to the business end of marketing and advertising. It can be overwhelming and confusing. And even those with experience can be swayed by what seems like a good offer.
Education and awareness are so important. As is the ability to look at the value of a partnership in the long run.
Thank you for sharing this!
.-= Maria´s last post ..go your own way =-.
I rarely get approached by PR people. I reviewed a stainless steel water bottle one time, and it sucked and I said so. Since then, I’m not interested in reviewing products. If I find something I like, I might mention it, but I’m more anti-consumer, so it wouldn’t really make sense. I don’t have ads because my blog is for fun, for me… I already have a job and don’t want to turn my fun hobby into a job!
.-= abbie´s last post ..My First Mother’s Day =-.
I definitely receive PR offers but so far none have been a good fit so I just ignore them. And if they start out the email with dear sir or mam… no. Just, no. If you can’t figure out from my blog in 5 seconds that I’m a woman clearly you aren’t trying too hard. Maybe try learning my name, or at least addressing me as “grumbles”. Is that too much to ask?
That said, I work in a marketing department so I feel pretty savvy about this stuff. If your proposal email isn’t up to snuff, forget it. Spell check. And no, I’m not willing to pimp my beloved readers out to you for free. PR departments need to start treating bloggers with respect like they would treat any other business person with whom they hope to do business.
.-= the Grumbles´s last post ..eight months. =-.
I have had 3 PR firms contact me in the last month. I declined 1 because it was just asking me to post a survery and start a discussion. That isn’t something I want to get into doing for other people. I accepted the other 2 and have had a mixed experience. I relationship with the one PR firm was excellent. Great communication, following through on promises (on both ends) and in general we both we happy to help eachother out. The jury is still out on the 3rd PR firm. I had inital contact with them and am living up to my end of the deal but I have not heard back from them so we will see if they come through with their deal for the giveaway I posted.
Hi Amber,
I recently stumbled upon your blog when I found the list of 30 Mom Blog Nominees. I have stuck around to read some more.
I started my blog in February as an extension of my need to journal, keeping notes for my two daughters and incorporating my photos. (It has become way easier to type rather than print!). It was pretty innocent and I really had no idea what a blog was just prior to starting it. I have since been blown away by the capacity of the blogging world! Wow! I had no idea. I feel like I could connect with 100′s of moms a day if I had the time!
As for all the marketing, I can’t imagine anyone contacting me for that, but I do appreciate what goes on in other blogs that I look at. I am a sucker for checking out links and things that people are talking about or recommending.
Thanks for shedding some more light on the world of blogging for me. Quite interesting for sure!
~kristin~
.-= Kristin´s last post ..Mother’s Day =-.
I sometimes get PR emails, but not often. And I usually ignore them.
I am slowly becoming disillusioned with the PR aspect of mommy blogging. If a blogger loves a product and wants to share and tell people about it and maybe do a giveaway, I am all for that. When I feel like it is sharing it works for me.
I have stopped reading blogs where I feel like the blogger is just a mouth piece for companies. Blogs that don’t feel like blogs anymore but websites that advertise products. Then I stop reading.
.-= Capital Mom´s last post ..Smiles =-.
I totally agree. Some blogs are nothing more than giveaways now. Which I guess if that is their sole purpose then that is fine but I hate when they pretend that it is more than that.
.-= Jen´s last post ..Damn I am Easy =-.
Since I have a reviews blog, I’m approached by a decent number of PR folk. I’m not as picky about what I review as I might otherwise be if I reviewed products on my main blog. I prefer to keep the parenting blog and the review blog as separate entities.
Although I’ve had my review blog running for almost 6 months I still feel I have a lot to learn in terms of dealing with marketing folk. I tend to sit and wait for them to approach me instead of me approaching them. I’d love to have some idea of how to be proactive instead of reactive in terms of reviews and ads.
Actually the whole ad thing has me boggled. I just don’t understand how some people get advertising on their blog (with the exception of BlogHer) nor do I know how much to ask for. Yeah…marketing is something I spend a lot of time thinking about and I’m not sure I have many great answers for my questions.
.-= Marilyn´s last post ..Pretending it’s Summer:Wednesday of Few Words =-.
I tend to agree (I’m agreeable that way). For me blogging is about mutual support, exchanging ideas, real life connections, and, of course as a creative outlet. That is number one.
No one has knocked at my door, but if they do, it will be a nice test of my integrity. I can see reviewing adoption books in the future. That fits with my focus and interests.
It’s certainly an enormous topic and ripe for a proper discussion.
.-= harriet Fancott´s last post ..“Family Matters: Blogging the Parenting Experience” =-.
My inbox is constantly clogged with stupid, STUPID pr pitches. I think I get an average of 6-10 PER DAY. It’s absolutely ridiculous.
I had one yesterday who talked at length about my life, how much respect they have for *very specific details* of my blog, and then went on to ask me to write about their product without so much as sending me a sample. WTF am I gonna say about it? And WHY would I say anything FOR FREE about something I don’t even know truly exists because, again, I have not even seen it? Oh! But as a consolation, they WILL send me “free” images of the product.
This is a company that claims to have celebrity designers and be in Neimann Marcus stores. Really? Then explain why you can’t shell out $20 for a month of advertising on my blog? I wrote back and told them there were two ways to get on my blog – either advertise, or send me a product that I absolutely love and hope I write about it. Guess what? That was too rich for their blood, apparently, because I haven’t heard back.
The ones that are REALLY ridiculous have been getting one line responses – “Take me off your spammy pr list.” That’s all. I never signed up for that junk, and I find it to be nothing more than spam. I cannot tolerate it anymore.
The BEST ones are the “Here’s a few stories, perhaps you’d like to use these as content on your blog” type of “pitches” – which is to imply what? That I can’t write and you should do it for me because I NEED the latest Britney Spears diet advice on TFB.com? Asshats.
The REAL PR people do a great job of separating themselves from the spammers. They don’t expect you to work for free, they know your time is limited, and they research you first. The rest of the lazy spammers are giving them a really bad name though.
.-= TheFeministBreeder´s last post ..Guest Post: Skipping Chapters =-.
great post… I am just beginning to wade through this whole big scary world of PR pitches and marketing and what am I worth and how do I not compromise myself and my readers… it’s tough, but oh so nice to know that I am not alone.
I remember the first time I heard about PR pitches, I was all dazzled and envious of the whole idea, since no one had approached me and I’d been blogging over a year. But, now, yeah — there are some good fits, some questionable, and some outright ludicrous. I find that the ludicrous ones (but with real people attached, not just mindless spam) tend to be the most persistent, which is odd in itself.
My favorite recent pitch was from the TV show The Ghost Whisperer, which was about to air a nanny episode, and it asked if I wanted any special content like games or quizzes for my blog. I don’t know — that one just made me chuckle. Because I so often write about ghost nannies. They have me pegged.
I guess the thing with PR pitches is they’re mostly for free reviews and giveaways. Sure, you get a product (I won’t do it otherwise), but it’s hard to get actual moolah. And wouldn’t that be nice! I keep wondering if other people ask for money more than I do, or if they just don’t care and are doing it as a hobby, or what. I really have to consider how my time is best spent when asked to do a review or giveaway. Is it something of real interest to my readers? Does it fit in with my ethics? Will it drive meaningful new traffic to my blog while at the same time making my current readers happy (or at least, not bothered)? Not to mention: How badly do I want the free product?
.-= Lauren @ Hobo Mama´s last post ..Wordless Wednesday: Nice to see a man help around the house =-.
Oops, I forgot to say as I babbled: Congrats for being on the panel! You are such a professional.
.-= Lauren @ Hobo Mama´s last post ..Wordless Wednesday: Nice to see a man help around the house =-.
Sounds like a great panel. I get a lot of pitches too, but with having to pick and choose between things I *really* want to do, I almost never accept them. I do wish I could attend some of the events in NYC though!
.-= Lady M´s last post ..The Trouble with Numbers =-.
I’ve been blogging for less than a year, but I receive a ton of PR pitches. I have found that most of them are on target with me and my readers. But some of them are WAY off. I used to respond to those to let me know, but now most of them just get the delete key pressed on them.
I have had mixed feeling about doing reviews as well. I’ve done several and have several more in the pipeline, but I’ve toyed with the idea of separating all of the reviews into a separate blog and keeping Happy Mothering about me and my family. But, that’s several month off into the future.
.-= Chrystal @ Happy Mothering´s last post ..Natural Birth Advocate Suspended in San Diego: Support Needed for Dr. Robert Biter =-.
Just curious, what exactly is a pr pitch?
.-= Francesca´s last post ..Away =-.
This is an interesting topic — I’m sure there are helpful sites out there about PR, etc., on blogs… how much of the conversation is actually by regular folks at home who have blogs on the side? I ignore requests, generally, not out of rudeness or disinterest as much as just complete lack of time. I’m planning to put a design back on the blog after turning back to a plain format for awhile… but the plain format has reduced my requests and that’s sort of a nice thing right now. I’m just not ready to deal with more crud until I’ve wrapped up more work and have more time to think about blogging more formally. At the same time, I feel guilty that I’m not putting more into it to spread the Just Posts. But I guess I wouldn’t be a Mom if I didn’t feel guilty a little over everything in my life!
.-= Cold Spaghetti´s last post ..BP, rethought. =-.
teehee – I see my name …
I change my mind. I can do that, right? I do think it’s disrepectful, not just lazy. And I hope you don’t mind that I referred to your post via a link on my blog.
You've got to admit, there's something about seeing your name in print. Especially when someone ELSE put it there.
As you know, I blog. I also do not offer or sell ads on my blog. A few years ago I did but then I considered, like you, the work and emotional capital in my writing and decided against it.
That said, I think that should a blogger (say, a stay at home parent) decide to offer ad space to earn a few dollars from their hard work, I would not knock it. Bloggers work hard for little to no pay and the benefits are a labor of love more than anything. I would not begrudge someone for trying to make a few dollars to support their family.
i don’t know if you knew, but Mom101 posted on the subject of free advertising on mommyblogs yesterday as well. somewhere down about comment 100, there’s actually a consensus reached that some other influential person (Type A Mom? i think) is going to begin a blogging advisory panel/board, one of the goals of which is, i gather, to make some of the information about the business end of blogging, including rates packages, more publicly available to those of us who do not swim at the highest echelons.
me, i don’t do product reviews or advertising. it’s not the game i happen to be in…i get writing cred and some speaking/consulting work from my “brand,” as it were, but i’m in it for the writing venue and the community. like you, i’m wary of a few dollars and the control they’d have over my voice, the impact they’d have on my space. i’m in no way opposed to a serious sponsorship model, but i’d have to go work for that, and it hasn’t been a priority to date.
.-= Bon´s last post ..the future, second verse =-.