What do you want? What do you really, really want? If you could have any life you chose, and live out your biggest dreams, what would it look like?
I haven’t asked myself these questions in 20 years. When I was 13 and full of adolescent angst I spent a lot of time contemplating my future and dreaming grand dreams. I was destined for greatness in those days, and I had the straight-A report cards and the spiral bound notebooks filled with my truly awful poetry to prove it. I decided I would be an actress. But not in TV or movies, oh no. How déclassé! Only the theatre would do for my immense talents. Or, failing that, I would be Governor General of Canada. Being Prime Minister sounded like too much work. And really, who wants to campaign for office?
Dreamers live here!
(Speaking of which, Mr. Harper, if you’re looking for the next GG and you want a fellow Westerner with French worse than yours, I am totally available. I’ll even promise to keep the travel budget in check because really, I don’t like to fly all that much. Call me!)
Anyways, in my current state of trying to re-invent my life I am taking an online class called Mondo Beyondo. It’s all about dreaming big. Listening to those parts of your mind you’d forgotten about, and getting back in touch with what you really want to do. Even taking the class is a bit of a leap for me, because I veer more in the direction of practical and solid these days. I have a mortgage and two kids to take care of, after all. Mine is not to reason why, mine is but to put food on the table and not go crazy in the process. But I decided I should try it, I should step outside of my comfortable adult world and dream a little.
It’s OK to believe
What can it hurt? Plus, I might as well aim high and pursue something I really want to pursue this time around, right? So I made my Mondo Beyondo list. The things I want to do with my one ‘wild and precious life‘. Sharing it is a bit of a gamble for me, because it makes me feel vulnerable. Really, who am I to want this stuff? What makes me think I’m special? What if I fall on my face?
The answer is I’m not particularly special. Or at least no more than everyone is special. But I am also no less deserving than anyone else. And I can’t expect good things to happen for me if I’m not even willing to talk about what I want. So I’m taking the gamble and putting it out there.
My dreams:
What about you? Do you have any Mondo Beyondo dreams of your own? I’d love to hear them.
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Beutifully written (as always). I believe you can and will accomplish all of these things, Amber.-fellow dreamer and do-er.
Thank you for this post! It is very timely for me. I’m not nearly as far along as you are, but we feel the need for big changes in our life and we are trying to figure out what, when, where, and especially How (darn money comes into play here).
Your dreams sound lovely, and I share many of them.
But, I don’t see anything engineering related on your list….is it really that easy to give up? That’s a question I struggle with. How much is work “me” and how much is it just to make money?
Oh, Amber, I share every one of the dreams on your list — right down to “try pottery,” where you have me stumped.
Oddly enough, though, I’m sitting here at my day job (as a “writer” no less), and wishing instead that I were home with my son, cooking and crafting and playing and making more of those dreams a reality. Good for you for taking these risks to try realize your dreams. I’ll be reading along!
.-= Sarah´s last post ..The many things you can do with a book =-.
There is nothing on that list that cannot be achieved; GO FOR IT!
I think it’s wonderful that you’ve spelled out your hopes and dreams and I like your list!
Re having more children (not that you asked or that it’s my place to say anything really) — having three kids is wonderful and, of course, a lot of work (especially for the attachment parent who wants to devote herself to a certain intense style of mohering)! My unsolicited caution is that it would help to make sure you have a support system in place — relatives and friends and paid caregivers who are willing and able to support you. Look ahead a few years and ask yourself what your life might look like with school for the older kids (home or public), drop-off and pick-up and classes and playgroup and daycare and work and housework and errands etc. I say this not to discourage anyone but to encourage you to put in place the necessary support to make it work for everyone — even more than you might already have now. It hasn’t been easy for me and maybe if more people talked about creating the village to raise the children we’d all be better off! Do you have friends willing to trade playdates? Family who can babysit or do some of the school runs? A mother’s helper? A husband with a flexible or at least reliable work schedule? I’m not asking, just throwing out the types of questions that in retrospect I should have been asking myself and answering honestly.
What a great post Amber – it really got me thinking about my own goals and dreams. I have seen some blogs that have a goal list down their side bars and once the goal is reached it gets crossed off. I have thought about doing that too, but maybe I’ll just post my own blog post about it. What a great idea.
A couple I will share is getting accepted to do my Master’s at UBC, traveling through Europe, learning how and sewing my own quilt out of the kid’s old baby clothes, and again, also like you I want to join a choir and start singing again. I used to LOVE singing in a choir in highschool. Oh, and I want to re-learn how to play my clarinet again.
.-= Melodie´s last post ..Lansinoh Products Review: Soothies Gel Pads, Milk Storage Bags, Latch Assist, and Nursing Pads =-.
Amber, what a great list! And it is so do-able (well, except for those dratted chickens, but you can experiment before you get rid of them.) What you are doing is getting in touch with your passions..and why not put energy into those rather than something you don't like? Really, it makes perfect sense. And you likely have a wonderful lifetime in which to do everything..just get going on the ones which are most in your reach for now (called "picking low fruit")
I <3 this!
.-= Jennifer´s last post ..Our Story (pt 2) =-.
Twitter: bitterindigo
says:
Very inspiring. I’m feeling sort of happy (if that’s the right word) that Eve started school full days this week and, even though I do find myself welling up and getting weepy at odd and really embarrassing times, there hasn’t been a single day where I’ve felt like the time has dragged — there are still so many things I want to do.
I adore this list… may all your beautiful, wise, deep dreams come true for you!
I wrote my “Things to Do this Life list” a few years ago… it was precious and beautiful – and it’s been so magical to see them unfurl and bloom into my life… you can read it here if you like:
http://www.goddessguidebook.com/things-to-do-this-life-2/
what a fabulous list!! and totally doable too! may all your wishes and dreams come true.
.-= leah´s last post ..What’s Inspiring You Lately? =-.
I like your list and it seems fairly possible to accomplish.
The dream about buying the laptop looked kind of weird though, in the midst of all those non-material dreams. I mean I think buying a trailer is non-material because you’re buying it because of the great moments that only a trailer can give you. But the laptop, I don’t know. Maybe that is as special as the trailer to you. But to me, it sounds like you had just watched a laptop commercial right before writing the list and got caught by it.
Good list. Maybe I will make one on my blog, too. I love writing. In college I minored in fiction writing and took several fiction workshop classes. We wrote short stories and then critiqued one another’s work. To my surprise, some of the people in class whose work I admired most (and the professor) thought my stories were good. I don’t know why I never tried to get any of them published. But, for now, I really am doing great on my “list” (which I haven’t written down; it’s in my head):
1) I’m finally a stay-at-home mom
2) We’ve trimmed our budget so we can afford it
3) There’s really nothing to stop us from having more kids
Ultimately, I’d love to own a large piece of land (6+ acres) in the country where we can build a bigger house. Then when our children grow up we can offer to give them some land to build on. (Some of them will probably want to move away.) I would love to live close enough to my children that when I have grandkids they can just run over to my house. I SO would’ve taken my parents up on an offer of this kind, but they had no extra land to give.
I will really have to do a post on this–it’s a good idea!
.-= Jenny´s last post ..This is going to take practice =-.
Twitter: fuoriborgo
says:
I’d be interested in hearing more about your workshop and community ideas.
PS Jumping out of a plane?!
.-= Francesca´s last post ..crochet inspiration =-.
This is awesome. I have to think about my list. Being off work and at home with the kids has made me wonder if I want to keep going on the career path I am on but I haven’t done anything as concrete as you. Really, good job. I love the list. Must think more. I’ll get back to you.
.-= Capital Mom´s last post ..Fantasy =-.
I love your list!
Though I am not wanting any more babies, I can see why you would. I think the class is a great idea! I am always up for that sort of thing (in theory, but time never seems to get me there).
I am looking very affectionately at the programs available around here and widdling them down to a few “definite-maybes” to enroll in. I took beginners belly-dancing once, that was great fun! And beginners pottery was super, decorative painting was a good time, and my yoga class was surprisingly strenuous… but I still think of it very fondly and want to take it again!
.-= *pol´s last post ..SO TIRED =-.
Do you know what is so strange and funny to me? Over the last year or two, I feel like I have gotten to know you. I consider you one of my bloggie friends….But, here, suddenly, I realize you have a BLOG! SO silly! I had no idea. (I feel that I sound a tad self-centred admitting this…) Anyhow, I am SO glad to have found it and am tickled pink to be able to know you more!
I LOVE your list. Love it. Love it. I may have to make a Mondo Beyondo list myself…I clicked away for a moment to check out the class and have put myself on the waiting list. Anyhow, love ya! Going to head back to read some more!
xoxox
P.S. I hate to disagree with Marcy, but chickens rock! They are fabulous and I am saddened that I spent the majority of my life with out a couple of hens pecking in the backyard.
.-= Jackie´s last post ..tmi? =-.
I dream of being able to make a living doing the things I love while being my own boss. That’s one of the dreams anyway.
Twitter: ladymrules
says:
Splendid! I’d read about the class and wondered if I could dream that big right now, while I’m busy juggling. It’s so awesome that you did, and I want to put together a list too.
.-= Lady M´s last post ..Fountains of Youth =-.
This is kind of inspiring. I’m actually doing a lot of the things i always dreamed of, and it does, indeed, feel as good as you’d think it would. Still, it never hurts to revisit the list and see what new goals and ideas come to light.
I’m checking out the online class, too, it sounds interesting.
I want to live on the water too. In a converted barn on a cliff, to be specific. I keep an eye out for old barns whenever we’re driving up the coast.
hi there!
i found you via mightygirl, and i’m so glad that i did. i would love to take your “balancing motherhood” class – please come to seattle and teach it!
thank you for an excellent post.
.-= Christina´s last post ..Mighty on Mighty Action! =-.
ok, i dont know if u will read this…i was thinking of my dreams and then i thought about my dh. like you i am a sahm and hubby brings in the bacon. what are his dreams? will he ever be able to realize them working so hard to provide for his family? holding sleepy baby in one arm..only one hand available for typing.
tereza crump AKA MyTreasuredCreations’s last post … Unschooling