The other afternoon I was home with my toddler Jacob. Like he does at least twice a day, he had peed on the floor, and in the process managed to hit his socks and shirts. I had just finished cleaning up but I hadn’t gotten Jacob dressed in clean clothes, so he was naked. Someone rang the doorbell and I scooped Jacob up and hid him behind the door as I opened it.
The doorbell ringer was a uniformed salesguy. I knew right away what he was selling, and I knew that I didn’t want it. Unfortunately for Mr. Salesguy many other people offering his service have been this way before. If I were going to buy, I would have done it a couple of years back. But I didn’t, and there’s no changing my mind now.
I kind of felt bad for Mr. Salesguy. I’m guessing he’s a university student with a sucky summer job. For a paltry wage he gets to knock on doors all over the area. Almost no one will be receptive to his message. It’s like telemarketing, but with the added danger of someone setting their dog on you or getting a sunburn. And I suppose the added perk of not being cooped up in a small and horrid back room all day. Either way, pretty much nobody is happy to hear from Mr. Salesguy, in spite of his French accent and youthful good looks.
I told Mr. Salesguy I wasn’t interested. Unfortunately, Mr. Salesguy was not easily deterred. He asked why I wasn’t interested. He asked me if I understood what he was selling. He tried his very best to overcome my sales objections. All the while, I tried to keep my naked toddler hidden as I thought about the pile of urine-soaked clothes I hadn’t dealt with. My social anxiety was triggered and my desire to not have this conversation anymore battled with my instinct to be polite.
After a couple of minutes, during which I said, “I’m not interested,” some half a dozen times, I closed the door. And locked it. And managed to refrain from throwing a shoe at it. I was frustrated, man. I bet that Mr. Salesuy had received some kind of sales training on how to deal with my negativity. Maybe there had even been a rally in the morning, ‘pumping’ the uniformed sales fleet ‘up’. Surely if this 20-year-old student spent enough time arguing with me, the random householder he happened to encounter, he would succeed. Or something.
I’ve thought a lot about my exchange with Mr. Salesguy in the past few days, and the other people like him that I have encountered. People calling during dinner to sell me a new long distance provider. The overly perky gym staff member who tried to convince me that I should have a workout with her RIGHT! NOW! when I cancelled my membership. Never mind that I had a cold and I was wearing jeans. Surely, the fact that I hadn’t used the gym in 2 years was only because I hadn’t met her. She would show me the light and turn my ‘no’ into ‘yes’.
I don’t bear any ill will towards people in bad sales jobs. I don’t bear any ill will towards someone who is trying to sell me something, in general. We’re all selling something in our efforts to make a living. It might be a product or a service, or our expertise, or our time. There’s nothing wrong with that. But I can’t help but feel that there is something wrong with interrupting someone’s day, engaging in an argument, and discounting what they have to say. There is something wrong when both of the people having the conversation are dreading it and would really rather be anywhere but there. I refuse to believe that this is the most effective way to make a commercial exchange.
So, please, Mr. Salesguy. The next time that you knock on my door, take no for an answer. And please, employers of Mr. Salesguy, consider your sales tactics. Or I might have to hand over my naked toddler so that he can do the talking for me.
Do you find it easy to say no to salespeople? How do you handle it when they won’t take ‘no’ for an answer? Or do you just refuse to answer the door or the phone when you don’t know who it is? I need some tips, here.
I just don’t answer the door. It’s easier that way for everyone.
C @ Kid Things’s last post … ABC Duet
I hope I don’t offend anyone in sales but I really do not like sales people. Especially these pushy, enthusiastic, obnoxious kind that don’t take no for an answer. Do we really need sales people going door to door these days? Or calling us on the phone? I don’t think so. I feel bad for them which I think it part of their tactics. I had one sales kid ask if I didn’t like them and that’s why I wouldn’t buy their expensive books they were toting. Seriously?? My decision to not make a dumb purchase has nothing to do with whether or not I like you. I just don’t answer the door if a person I don’t know is there. I think a No Solicitation sign would work also – maybe.
Tanya’s last post … Random
I’m not a fan of sales people who are pushy, but I rarely have to deal with them. My cell phone is registered with the Do Not Call registry so if they do call I tell them, ask to be removed from their list and they hang up on me before I can get the information I need to report me. I’ve had a few who continue at times, but I just remain firm that I do not want their service. I do not purchase anything unless it’s something I initiate no matter how hard they try.
For the door to door magazine sales and meat sales, which are the only door to doors I’ve dealt with in my adult life, if they don’t listen to me after the second time I tell them I am not interested I tell them a third time and tell them that I am closing my door because they obviously have been instructed not to take no for an answer.
Sales person: “Do you understand what I’m selling?”
You: “If I don’t understand it’s because you are too incompetent to explain it properly, or maybe it’s because my IQ is so low it’s a miracle that I can actually walk upright. Which do you think it is?”
I would actually pay to see that conversation!
i think i would have handed them jacob or similar pee-sodden child.
i have answered the door breastfeeding (it was the mailman – i was pleased to see him and he had a lovely, comfortable chat while the Wee Guy guzzled)(i’ve answered the door while wearing a very short nightie to the Vancouver police too – they were very pleased to see me).
door-to-door salesmen get a polite no then i shut the door, no matter age, body or accent.
cold callers by phone get to listen to the radio of whatever if they persist. religious evangelists of any persuasion get told about atheism.
junk mail gets mailed on to the next junk mailer in the pre paid envelope thoughtfully supplied
my father, on the other hand, regularly invites the local Jehovah’s Witnesses in for a (lengthy) chat – by the time they leave they are so confused about what they were there for in the first place that they go home.
politeness and being firm or slightly batty works
pomomama aka ebbandflo’s last post … friday forte- decision time
I don’t have any tips. It frustrates the heck outta me, too. The thing that bugs me most is being asked to tell them why I am not interested in their product. I said “no,” I don’t want what you are selling, and I refuse to justify my response! It’s just “no”!
the vancouver sun have beenn calling me recently- I cancelled the newspaper a few years back- they decided that i had too good of a deal and upped the cost significnalty so I called and cancelled- now they keep calling!!! the last time ( 5 30 at dinner time) I said to her a) it is WAY too much money when I can read all I need online for FREE and 2) i have three kids and a job- who has time to readit anyway? then I said and 3( i am not getting it becuase you have called three times in the past week and I am ANNOYED- she had nothing to say to that and they have not called again since!
Does Canada have the equivalent of the Do Not Call registry? I put my phone numbers on there and if a number pops up that I don’t recognize, I don’t answer it. As your mom always said, “If it’s important they’ll leave a message or call back” right?
As far as the door-to-door salesmen, maybe I am paranoid, but I don’t answer my door to those people. I know I’m not buying, I’m not interested in wasting their time or mine. Also, you never know what kind of weirdo you may have to deal with.
I’m a pretty effective overtalker so i generally say “no than you i am not interested” and slam the door or hang up the phone. I know I am not first perso to do that.
Also, the flaw in Canada’s do not call registry is that if you call and report a business for breaking the rules, you have to agree for them to be given your information as a part of the complaint process- thus having your current info added to whatever company’s directory as a “new” contact and the cycle starts all over.
I have a home phone I pay extra to have unlisted (it helps significantly) and I am flat out rude if pushed to give out my cell phone number “what are you udon this number for? Who keeps your directory? Do you make phone calls?” Fabricland of all places received my ire a few weeks ago when in addition to the direct mail I did not want, I also got a phone call right at dinner time. I made a huge stink the next time, calling their head office and reminding them they did not have permission to use my personal info in any way. I told them I would discontinue shopping at their stores as long as they continued to call me unsolicited.
Talking to a head office (rather than a contracted call centre) helps to get removed.
I dunno, I get all rabid about this. I often fantasize about want I want to say : “oh hai! Thank you for coming to my house and interrupting m privacy! What’s your name? Well Chet, why don’t you give me YOUR home address and I’ll pop by at a totally inappropriate moment, won’t take no for an answer, and sell you something you don’t want but I am convinced you need. Sound good?”
Jen’s last post … Dinner Fail
PS: using an iPhone for a long comment produces horrific typos. Sorry.
Jen’s last post … Dinner Fail
I hate sales people. I will just ignore the phone if I see a telemarketer-ish number pop up. And I will ignore the door. The door ignoring is proving difficult since I now have children who will RUN to the door and scream and yell “mommy! Someone is here!” AND open the door!!! We’ve had some long chats about not opening the door but V doesn’t seem to get it so now we make sure the top security latch is on at all times.
Sheesh
Carrie’s last post … Post It Note Tuesday- Canada Day Chaos
I shamelessly use my kids as my excuse. “I have a teething baby here,” I say to the telemarketer. “Sorry, this time is for my kids, not for sales pitches,” I say to the person at the door who is blithely ignoring the fact one of my kids is wailing in the background.
That said, if the person is polite and not pushy, I’ll sometimes give a couple minutes of my time, if it’s a good time. I’ve answered stupid marketing surveys while my kids are napping, just to be nice. It comes down to timing, and courtesy. Call at the right time and be polite? I might listen.
Kimberly’s last post … Sick
Yikes!
You are very polite! Maybe let the kid run around naked and use that as an excuse to shut the door… “sorry, Mr. Sales-dude, but unless you’re peddling services that include urine clean-up, I’ve got to go now.” ? Actually, come to think of it, I may have used just that very same line in the past….
Cold Spaghetti’s last post … World of the Mouse- May 2010
Amber – try to sell them your dryer or your car, or something… It's funny and it really throws them off their game!
I have been on the other side of this because years ago I used to be a Mary Kay lady, and I can confirm that, yes, in some cases the salesperson is as uncomfortable as you are. I started MK because I liked the people I met who were already doing it and I liked the product. I did not like bugging people to buy stuff and have parties, so I quit.
I really hate when people come to my door unannounced. When the doorbell rings unexpectedly I fly into a panic. For all I know it could be a neighbor coming to complain about what our dog is doing, or a crazy person in pajamas asking for money to fix their AC when really they are on drugs. We have had both happen! I want to be polite, too, so I can’t just tell these people to buzz off. Pretending not to be home is the path I normally take, but it’s hard when you have a three-year-old who outs you by yelling “WHO’S AT THE DOOOOR?” I also like to leave my curtains open and then the people can see me running to hide.
I once had a girl come in trying to sell me a vacuum cleaner and she went on and on about how she disliked her whiny pregnant coworker. Another woman came over trying to sell us a home security system, which I do not want, and when we told her yet another monthly bill just wasn’t in our budget she invited us to a seminar at her church to learn how to manage our money better. I guess our little subdivision just looks inviting to these people. I am thinking of putting up a sign that says “no soliciting (unless you are a girl scout selling cookies). Would that be tacky? A lot of people have fallen on hard times right now or are saving up all they can for an emergency, and it sucks that they should have to enter into an unwanted argument just to hold onto their money, especially in their home which should be a sanctuary safe from things like this!
Jenny’s last post … Whats going on around here
I let my big dog go beserk on the other side of the door…. and open the door just a crack to say “hello” . My big driendly mutt looks positively rabid if I let him just get only his nose out (nice rotweiller-like colouring on his snout). I say “hi” loudly over mad barking. They try to say their speil, then I say “sorry” and re-close the door that tiny amount. They literally don’t get 2 words in over the barking. They don’t stand a chance.
It’s funny you should post about this though. Just last evening, my husband was laying under his motorcycle working on some delicate and difficult repair and a man comes INTO our garage to sell him something.
“Do you want to look at my paintings? They are BEAUTIFUL”
To which T replies, “I’m very busy here”.
“It will only take a moment, they are BEAUTIFUL” and the man actually crouched down to unwrap his portfolio to show my dirty, busy, on-his-back-husband anyways!
“Look, I am busy right now, I don’t have time” T says.
“I’ll come back later then. My paintings are BEAUTIFUL”
“Sorry. I’m just not interested, please leave.”
Wow, it takes a hammer over the head for some determined salesmen, eh?
*pol’s last post … More success
PS I just noticed some of your “good books” are some of my favourites!
“Bend the Rules Sewing” gets me craving to sew big-time
“Kids are Worth it!” is my all-time favourite parenting advice book
You need to add Tracy Hogg’s “Secrets of the Baby Whisperer” for new moms. That book saved my life (I don’t think I’m exagerating here) when my second baby was born. And if I had it for the first, we may have had a MUCH better time through infnacy (poor guinea pig first-born).
*pol’s last post … More success
This is so funny, we’ve had a driveway sealing company come to our door 3 times in the last few weeks and it’s the SAME person. The last time he came I didn’t even say hello, just started ranting about how ridiculous it would be for me to change my mind after already saying ‘no’ twice, and what was he thinking coming back to my house, since he already knows that I have two little kids at home, rant, rant, rant. If I see that guy again, I think I’ll have to throw a shoe at him!
Jenn’s last post … Once a year is not enough
First I do not have a landline, only a cell phone, which cuts down a lot of the telemarketing. If my cell phone does ring, I always look at the call display and if I don’t recognize the number I never answer it. If I receive an important call that I didn’t answer, I figure they will leave a message.
As for the door-to-door stuff, sometimes I don’t answer and ignore it. But, I have a small very friendly dog who goes insane when someone comes to the door, which most of the time is incredibly annoying… However, when it is a religous type or door-to-door anything; the sound of her low frantic barking usually scares the crap out of most people who are convinced that my 20 pound pug is going to eat them – which is just fine with me – even though in reality if I opened the door and allowed her to jump out she would maul them but with insane happy doggyness.
Most of the time, I will answer the door and say I’m busy right now and not interested in anything you have to say. Good bye!
Tara’s last post … TaraCain- Ditto thisRT -DontdoMornings- Oh Tuesday- be nice please
I hate it, double hate it, triple hate it. Once, a girl was so pushy, I ended up in tears afterwards. I just hate 1) that my personal space can be invaded by someone that I didn’t invite to my home & don’t want what they are selling and 2)that my sense of “niceness/politeness” is so overwhelming, that even though my space IS being invaded and my nos are being ignored, I STILL can’t work up the courage to be rude right back. Sheesh, I’m apparently so “nice” that the Jehovah’s witnesses come right to my door first – they’ve even told me they know I’m a nice one.
At this point, I just don’t answer the door if it isn’t someone I recognize. Honestly, I think thats a safe bet in general. If you’re not expected at my door, I’m not opening my door.
((hugs))
kelly @kellynaturally’s last post … Natural Birth Conundrum- or- Epidurals and Guilt
It is tough. I absolutely get sucked in because I know they are trying to earn a living. I try to listen first and then tell them I am not interested. If they are rude to me then I end it right away because it is not how I want to spend my time. If I am in a really hectic moment, like a diaper explosion or something then I don’t feel bad about not answering the door. We get a lot of people at our door these days, especially with nicer weather. Not having this was a great plus about condo living, but then you miss out on all the cute kids at Halloween! Have a great day Amber!
Wendy Irene’s last post … Jumpstart Giveaway Winner
again, just one more bonus of living in the midst of canola fields….no one bothers to come this far out to sell us anything…but I doooo sooooo missss take out food
Maybe you’re still too young. I used to get caught in the endless loop of irritation vs politeness and empathy for someone doing a crummy job. But you know what? My time is valuable, and I’m not under any obligation to give it to people who haven’t done anything to earn it. I used to think if I was being polite I had to listen, and when I hung up it was being bitchy. Now I just say very politely, talking over them if I have to “thanks but we’re not interested, have a nice day” and hang up the phone gently. If they’re at the door I do the same thing and close the door gently, whether they’re still talking or not. And geez Amber, if you have a naked toddler, use him shamelessly as a prop – hiding him behind the door? You should have answered with him under your arm and said “sorry, I really CAN’T TALK right now”. I predict you will magically acquire this ability when you turn 40. Til then, best of luck
allison’s last post … Pardon my ungraceful re-entrance
That’s AWESOME! lol…
I really hate saying no to people who come door to door. I do say no, but I feel bad because they seem uncomfortable and they are trying to make a living. So I try not to answer the door, but if I have to I listen and then say no thank you.
For a while there, I had Jehovah Witnesses that kept coming to my door, specifically looking for me. I think I was just too nice. Something I need to work on. I finally told them that we are jewish (which we are, but not practicing) and they have not come back.
We have call display, so if I do not recognize a number, I do not answer it.
Lisa’s last post … Potty Talk or How I am Slowly Going Crazy
Sales tricks for sure! what did that gym lady think her pitch would accomplish?!
I had this old cellphone that I hadn’t used in months. It was on the most striped down package available. I was keeping it alive because I was hesitant to lose the number. I finally got to canceling it and the lady from the phone company tells me that I have to give them a month notice. A month’s notice to cancel?! I wasn’t in a contract (hadn’t been in over a year!) never used the phone, and they wanted advanced notice? WTH?! I argued it. I had never agreed to such an absurd charge. I asked the lady to tell me how many minutes I had used in the last 3 months. It was like 4 minutes. I told her that employers only give two weeks notice that they are quiting, are they saying they need more notice than an employer? Why would I give a notice to a phone company at all, let alone a month’s worth? She had no way to overcome my brilliance and conceded that it was a stupid policy. I had to finish paying out my month (the one I was smack in the centre of) but I didn’t have to pay the extra month on top of that they had tried to charge me.
What a deceitful way to try to make you stay a customer! Fear of extra charges won’t keep a customer, but it will push one away!
Laura’s last post … Give me an inch- -amp Ill stuff it silly-
Looks like you hit a nerve! If I hear a pause on the phone, I hang up immeidately. If someone rings our doorbell, I lean over our front balcony and yell, YES? If it’s a salesperson, I say “NO THANKS!” and close my door.
I figure I’m saving them hours by simply not having a conversation.
I do marvel at good salespeople though. I also marvel and persistant yet annoying salespeople. They are working HARD for their living.
harriet Fancott’s last post … Hair care
Like most people, I would rather not be bothered. If I want something, I will usually go out an get it.
As a Realtor, I can also understand the salespersons perspective. Make enough calls, knock on enough doors and you will occasionally find someone who needs your help. Its a numbers game.
I don’t make calls but I do door knock on occasion, usually around recent “Just listed” and “Just Sold” listings. Why? Have you noticed how often a house will go up for sale, followed shortly afterwads by another one or two on the same street? Neighbours a curious. “How much did that sell for? Our place is much nicer than theirs.” . I have met some really great people that way and occasionally, yes, I will find a client.
Like most businesses, the top 20% of Realtors get 80% of the business. I’m told last year, 52% of Metro Vancouver Realtors had NO SALES! As of the end of May there were 9,960 Realtors licensed in the Metro Vancouver and 5,000 of them not bringing in an income!
This is probably true in other sales jobs too, so be kind. Saying “No” is ok. A salesperson either offers you a product or service you need or one that you don’t. If he won’t take “No!” for an answer, by all means slam the door in his face. I would too.
Lastly, if you don’t want salesmen/women coming to your door, put up a ‘No salesman or agents” sign. As a Realtor you have to respect the home owners wishes (you can also get into trouble if you don’t). You will still get the charity people looking to sell cookies, almonds or offer to take your bottles away. If you like you can say “No” to them too. Maybe don’t slam the door in their face though…
I’ll be polite twice – no thank you – and most sales people or charity people will let me be. If they get really obnoxious, I start soliciting them back for my favorite charities.
Lady M’s last post … Sealife- the Real Kind
Last time this happened to me — yes, complete with naked toddler who just peed on the floor — it was just a couple of weeks ago, I opened the door, sussed up what was being sold in a milisecond, and just shook my head and said, “Oh, no no no. No thank you.” Then when he said, “Hello, Ma’am, I’m here to…” I said, “No, no, no, no, no. Shooo.” And I made a shooing gesture with my hand and then closed the door.
Hope this helps.
Betsy’s last post … Honest to Betsy Blogiversary-
I know, I feel really badly for these folk. I mean, it’s their job to sell things, but still they are irritating. And especially when you have pee to clean up and a stinky toddler lurking behind the door.
Old School/ New School Mom’s last post … Nobody Closes the Elevator Door on Sarah Fader
I have worked in sales one way or the other for years. And my first rule was to ask: Is this a good time for you to talk?
Now I didn’t do door to door or telemarketing. But still, that common courtesy of acknowledging that the person you want to sell to actually have a life.
And then, know a no when you hear a no.
Really, selling isn’t that hard.
Mel’s last post … A few things that I will start doing
I’m can become quite fierce when I receive unsolicited sales calls or visits.
Francesca’s last post … Lisbon