No Time to Be Sick
Since I became a mom, I just don’t get as sick as I used to. Oh, sure, I come down with the occasional bug of one kind or another, but it doesn’t seem to hit me that hard. Or, at least, not hard enough that it really stops me from doing much. I sometimes feel it’s totally unfair, in fact. When my husband is sick he sleeps in or takes naps. When I am sick I still get up with the kids and go about my daily routine. The kids need me whether I’m well or not – I can’t just pass off mothering to someone else while I convalesce.
To be fair to Jon, he does try to relieve me. But in my experience there is no way that two small children are going to happily play in some other part of the house while Mama sleeps. The wailing and the little fists pounding on the door soon cause me to give up any attempt to rest. And I don’t think I’m the only mother who just keeps right on going in the midst of whatever virus is infecting the household. When Jon and I were kids we didn’t really see our mothers get sick, either. Our dads would spend days in bed with one thing or another, but our moms pressed on. Because, you know, what choice did they have?
Who has time to be sick when they have little kids?
But even leaving aside gender issues and family work distribution, there’s something else that I’ve experienced. For more than 5 years now I’ve been either pregnant or breastfeeding continuously. And in that time, I’ve been healthier than at any other time in my life. I don’t get headaches like I used to, and aside from morning sickness I’m not prone to nausea or stomach ailments. It’s almost like my immune system has kicked it up a notch, whether for some actual physiological reason or because it just plain has to.
I’ve heard other people report that while they’re pregnant and breastfeeding they experience a change in chronic conditions. For example, women I know who have irritable bowel syndrome say that they don’t have any symptoms when they’re pregnant or nursing. And other people find that allergies arise or clear up when they go through pregnancy. The whole experience seems to do a number on our immune systems, and it can be good or bad.
Storytime with Daddy, something that Jon never misses even when he’s sick
I tried to do some research, and see if I’m the only one who’s experienced this lack of downtime. I wanted to know if it was in fact related to pregnancy and breastfeeding, or just a reality of motherhood. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to find anything that was really relevant.
So, I thought that I would ask you, since many of you are mothers as well. Did you find that pregnancy and breastfeeding affected your immune system? Or was it just motherhood and the demands that it placed on you? And was the effect good, bad, or indifferent? I’m curious, now that I’ve been thinking about it.
PS – I wrote this post on Friday, and scheduled it for Monday. And then I promptly came down with yet another cold. Let this be a lesson to you – do not brag about how healthy you are. 
i’m definitely sicker than i was pre-child. we get everything going and i don’t think it’s anything to do with immune function or less healthy diet. we have a small vector in our house who goes out into the big wide world and is quite happy to sample all things pathogenic, bringing them back home to the nest. it’s as simple as that.
with only the one small vector it’s also easier to be a sick mum at home – when he was little i would just curl up on the carpet and now i can camp out on the sofa. dad gets to lounge around as much as me, and will even take over when i announce that i’m taking a sick day ie. i stop doing all things parenting/housekeeping for the day until i get better (i’m serious – if i don’t a. i am sick for longer and b. it reassures me to know my DH can step in effectively in a crisis). i’m subscribing less and less to the ‘mum 24/7′ role which my own mother exemplified so well. it’s totally inhumane
Firstly I hope you are feeling better! And to answer your questions:
Did you find that pregnancy and breastfeeding affected your immune system? I recall vividly being very sick with a sinus cold when I was about 8 months pregnant with Tegan (second born) so pregnancy did not make me anymore immune to sickness. When I as breastfeeding Tegan (she was only 6 weeks at the time), a terrible flu went through the house. My oldest was sick for days, the baby a couple days (vomiting etc.) and I was sick for a total of 8 hours. And, conveniently the sickness came at night, while everyone was sleeping. I alternated sitting on the toilet and throwing up all night and then was fine by morning..lol. The irony of it is not missed as I respond to your post on not having time to be sick. As for my immune system, after having Tegan I have had very few sick days. I breastfed her until she was just over a year old. I don’t know if pregnancy and breastfeeding had anything to do with it but I do believe that the whole process puts our bodies through so much that we can’t help but come out stronger because of it.
When it comes to common colds and the flu, I generally get less sick than the rest of the family — sick less often and not quite as sick if I do get sick. However, I am one of the unlucky ones who had pregnancy do a number on her immune system. It triggered post-partum Graves’ Disease (autoimmune hyperthyroidism). Now 3 babies and 7 years later my thyroid is nearly burned out and I take a thyroid supplement every morning.
in response to Tanya’s comment: I also remember a period when my oldest was…man, I can’t even remember…it was pre-solids I think so maybe 4-5 months old and she began vomitting explosively. I had nursed her and then up it came. She’d want to nurse immediately after but same result. The Nurse from the Health Line suggested trying to limit nursing sessions to keep the amount of food in her tummy minimal. Ha, ya right. Try pulling a very hungry baby off mid-suckle! We ended up using a syringe to limit her intake. Also, not fun.
Anyway, that night or the next night I woke in the middle of the night and barely made it to the toilet before losing my stomach. My husband woke as well and said he’d call in sick to care for me and the baby. Well, by morning I was almost 100% better and HE was the one moaning and groaning in bed, sicker than I EVER was…
And so it continues. Generally if I get sick it’s not nearly as bad as my husband or the kids.
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My friend has MS and her symptoms are minimal when pregnant or breastfeeding. Her physician supported her decision to have a second child for this reason.
I get as many bugs as ever…. but my kids are in school now and bring home EVERYTHING!!!
However, I don’t have time to get truly ill, so I “press on” as you so aptly put it. Heavy mucus and fevers are largely ignored as the needs of the family take precidence. My main goal is to try to keep my husband from getting sick, it’s “lock-down” on kissing and lots of cleaning and good wholesome immune boosting foods to prevent daddy from getting it.
I’ve been known to wander the house with my barf-bucket in hand and an icepack on my head while taking care of the sick kids (at least until dad gets home!).
Headaches knock me clear out of the part though (thankfully they don’t happen as often as they used to). On the headache days I am completely useless and have to hide whimpering in a dark room until they are better…. the kids can come jump on the bed or make a terrible mess and there is nothing I can do about it.
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I still get sick. Probably just as much actually, but definitely to a lesser degree. Last week I got a strain of the flu and felt miserable. The kids wouldn’t let me nap, they were fighting and I was crying because even as an adult when I get sick I’m not really much good to anyone and all I want is for someone to look after ME! I felt very bad for my poor kids. Luckily it was only a 24-36 hour thing and I made up for it the next day.
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I’ve been sick five times in the last year so I don’t think I am under that special mommy protection. A couple of times my husband stayed home to look after the kids because I was so sick. Somtimes I can’t sleep when they are in the house, but if I can fall asleep then nothing will wake me. Plus he is very good at getting them out of the house when I am sick. He is still a bigger suck then me when he is sick, but I do need my sleep to feel better.
I’ve been breastfeed or pregnant for almost 8 years now. I must say I’ve been very healthy. I’ve always been fairly hardy, but motherhood has forced my body to work even harder to ward off germs! However, I do think that if I happen to catch something when pregnant, I get it worse than I would have otherwise.
When I was pregnant with my third, I had horrible morning sickness and then near the end of pregnancy I thought it was flaring up again…until my son caught it! Obviously, it was a stomach bug, but boy was it bad!
While was breastfeeding my diabetes was under control with no medication. It was great. I don’t recall if I didn’t get sick with colds more or less when I was nursing but I certainly came down with horrible viral infections when I was pregnant. Pregnancy was not good times as my body was just giving all immunity to my babies and left me out in the cold.
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Oops, I’m so sorry Amber, I hope you get better soon!
To be honest, I think when you’re a mother being sick is unfortunately often a luxury. Nothing to do with biology, in my experience. I’ve spent about 10 years being pregnant (lost pregnancies and all), and I did get sick when I caught something or broke something or got a chronic sickness (Graves Disease like Angela above), but I could never “behave” sick. My elderly farmer neighbor recently told me how when her 80+ year old husband complains about some ailment she’ll ruthlessly just remind him of the pains of childbirth she went through five times – end of story (and medicalized or soft chilbirth to this day is a real luxury in my country, included during stillbirth — here it’s just as natural as it gets). I think it’s the change of perspective that occurs with motherhood that projects into a different cognitive experience of our own illness.
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While pregnant with number three I got so so so sick twice, I think because I was so busy working and running around after my two older kids I just got run down.
Interestingly, when I’ve been pregnant and nursing, I don’t get migraines. I’ve had them since I was 11 or so and I’m pretty sure they’re hormonally related (at least some of them are), so that’s a good incentive for me to keep breastfeeding my third as long as possible!
Both my parents were anti-lolling around, so they always went about their business when sick. Consequently, they taught me not to coddle myself or other people. I’ve started to question this, living with my husband, who’s so sweet to the sickies in his life, and also as I realize how much we must have spread our contagion when growing up and continuing to go to school and work while sneezing on everybody.
We have the vector problem, too: one little guy who goes out to preschool and brings back all the cute little bugs. He seems to have a perpetual runny nose, though he only gets miserable about it when it stuffs him up so completely that nursing is hard. Otherwise, he doesn’t care. I seem to catch about half his viruses, but my husband seems to catch them all, and hard. So it might be a protective thing for me. My husband, despite his coddling nature, doesn’t go big into complaining about his own sicknesses. I just know when he’s sick because he snores!
I’m afraid now that I’ve commented that we’ll all get the flu or something. That tempting-fate thing isn’t catching, is it, Amber? Hope you feel better soon!
Lauren @ Hobo Mama´s last post ..Breastfeeding support: A tale of two hospitals
I had a harder time kicking colds when I was pregnant. I got sick much less frequently when I was breastfeeding.
I love Lily and her purple plastic purse, not to mention those jingly quarters.
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First of all, I love that picture of you and the kids – it’s so cute! I think because your sweater kind of matches your hair, the drapes and the baby carrier. 
I think I’m healthier when pregnant and nursing, too. My seasonal allergies get more tolerable, but not my cat allergy!
Hope you feel better soon!
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I didn’t get much in the way of colds when I was pregnant, but boy did I have preggo nausea the second time around to make up for it!
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I have definitely been sick much less frequently since becoming a mother. I can remember only once in my 5.5 years of mothering that I was sick enough that I needed someone else to take care of the kids so that I could get some rest and/or that I had to stay home from work.
I have had mild colds here and there, but nothing serious.
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[...] Strocel: No time to be sick [...]
[...] I discovered that I am not the only mom who just can’t seem to find the time to be sick. We’re busy, [...]
Hm, interesting. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that you don’t focus so much on being unwell. I had a slight tendancy before I was pregnant to concentrate on “the sniffles” because I had a bad history of chest infections etc. And low and behold I would always end up with a chest infection. Now, when I get the sniffles I have the mantra “I am ok, I feel well, it’s fine.” Because it has to be fine and usually it is ok. Anthony had to take two days off when I was too ill to care for Dharma. I am however convinced that I just don’t get as ill as I used to because I am simply not having any time to think about it.
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