Six months ago now I started thinking about undertaking the grand toilet learning journey with my toddler Jacob. I was full of confidence and feeling optimistic. I was convinced that if I started early and kept at it, he’d be out of diapers in no time.
And yet I dragged my feet. Every few days I’d think, “Maybe we could wait another week or two, until Easter is over / after vacation / the weather is nicer / I have more time.” Maybe, in spite of my optimism, I had a vague recollection of the pain in the butt that mastering the potty entails. The clean-ups and the constant hovering two feet behind the child with a potty, trying to read cues and time attempts. It’s not much fun, even though the pay-off is totally worth it.
You want me to what!? In where!?
Finally, at 21 months I bit the bullet. A few weeks ago we started doing lots of ‘naked time’, to help both Jacob and us become more aware of what was going on. And then Jacob peed on almost every surface in our home. His stool, the carpeting, the laminate, the toybox, the couch. With boys, directionality is much more of an issue. If he is standing just so, he can hit 3 or 4 surfaces in one go. Fun times!
I’d forgotten exactly how tedious and discouraging this whole thing is. Sometimes, I’ll read the cues right and sit Jacob down and he pees and there is much rejoicing in the land. I feel as if things are going well. And then an hour later the kid pees on my bed. It’s very hit and miss. While Jacob likes the potty just fine, and especially enjoys the opportunity to flush after I pour it out into the toilet, he is just not taking the initiative. He pees where he happens to be, and if I catch him in time that will be the potty, but otherwise it will be my down comforter.
It’s a good thing he’s cute
I remember Hannah being the same way. I joked to Jon once that we were teaching her to pee on the floor and then go sit on the potty, as we diligently sat her down and repeated ‘we pee in the potty’ after every accident. All eleventy-billion of them. But she did eventually catch on. I know that Jacob will, too. So I keep at it. I do a lot of wiping, and I spend a lot of time talking about pee. It’s not really my idea of fun, but I’m holding out for the rosy, diaper-free future. Which will come, sooner or later.
For now, I am thanking my lucky stars for my portable carpet cleaner and a sizable quantity of ice cream in my freezer. Something tells me I’m going to need it.
What about you? How did you get past all of the messiness of toilet training? Or did you get off easy and somehow manage to avoid it? Please share!
Oh boy! We took the lazy route (ok i took the lazy route) – but we didn’t have any external pressure, the Wee Guy was in a family daycare which sanctioned late potty training, and it was only once he was going on 4 that my “OMG I’m going to be changing his diapers in High School” alarm bells started ringing. Once that happened he was old enough (and tall enough) to get his pecker ‘over the rim’ and the excitement of being allowed to pee into the toilet was the ultimate reward!
Crapping on the toilet took longer but a sturdy trainer seat and the ‘reward’ of having to miss playing time because of a solo clean-up shower hastened awareness (much faster and more pleasant to visit the littlest room!).
Good luck! (so glad I’m beyond that stage now)
.-= pomomama aka ebbandflo´s last post ..friday forte: the luxurious and glamorous life of a SAHM =-.
We started visiting the potty before bath time. He doesn’t show too much of an interest throughout the day so I haven’t pushed the issue. But I don’t want to brush the idea completely out of the way. He’s only 18 months.
I give you credit for going the naked time route. I’m not ready for that mess. I’m sure we’ll be there soon though! I’ve been told that somewhere down the road, they just GET it. Something clicks in their brain.
He’s already trying to pull his diaper off after he’s pooped. Maybe he’ll train himself?? One can only hope…
.-= Sara´s last post ..32 inches of love =-.
Uhhh…yeah, I’m one of those you’d probably hate (if you didn’t know me already and love me to pieces just cause I am cool
) While Victoria didn’t figure out the potty thing until 1 month before she turned three she did basically start using it *boom* one night and never looked back. I think she has had 2 accidents in her year of using the toilet so I have not have to chase around a toddler with a potty or mop up pee.
Amelia has so far shown little interest beyond sitting on the potty for about 2 seconds and playing with the “flush” (we have a potty that has a little handle that makes a flush noise) She was peeing on the floor immediately after bathtime so I thought I could catch her at that point but no luck…and she seems to have stopped that.
As long as she is trained by age 3 I’m happy…though I would definitely prefer getting out of diaper detail sooner
.-= Carrie´s last post ..Meet George Jetson! =-.
I tried and gave up because I couldn’t cope with the accidents, but also not with the heartbreak of a very upset toddler who held in her poo for fear of doing it anywhere other than nappies.
So we backed off after about 3 weeks of trying, but put pull up nappies on and continued to encourage mildly. I had stopped using cloth anyway because it gave her a nasty rash recently. Slowly, she decided herself she wanted to use the toilet for wees (never the potty, she didn’t ever use it) and over the period of 3-4 months she was dry, not just days but also nights. After she was dry at night, she eventually stopped holding in the poo and getting so upset – we always gave her the choice where to do her poo (pants, nappy or toilet) during the time it upset her, because anything was better than 4-5 days without and the sore back when it did come out.
She is now 3 years 3 months and has almost no accidents, and does the toilet “all by herself”. We started potty training at 2 years 9 months.
Good luck!
.-= cartside´s last post ..Let’s hear it for the multilingual kids! =-.
our care giver did most of the upfront hard work. bless her soul. he started at about 2 1/2. it has been a long haul. we had tremendous set backs and there was much frustration. personally i think he was started too early. now he has very few accidents and is a total trouper, even on long car rides. he still has one for over night. it’s about 50/50 wet/dry in the morning. my husband had a late developping bladder, so we aren’t forcing the issue.
good luck!
.-= smothermother´s last post ..Idle Hands… Wordless Wednesday =-.
I. So. Hear. You. We are just beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnell. My little guy will be three in July and it has been a long road. I started at around 2 and it just wasn’t working at all. Waiting until they are ready is soo true. He’s ready now and we are trudging ahead. This past week has been the first week in 3 that I haven’t gone through a roll of paper towels a day (sorry Mother Earth!) and a load of little underwear and towels to be washed. Then the stomach flu hit!!! Oy! But we have been relatively accident free over the past couple of days and have even transitioned to the big potty so that’s something!
.-= the mombshell´s last post ..date night should not smell like gravy… =-.
As I have lamented over and over and over again, my son spontaneously decided that he is no longer potty trained so I hesitate to say I have any answers. I’ve been reduced to bribery after months of struggle (and crying lots of crying – from me). We’ve had almost one entire week with no accidents now and all because I promised I’d take him to Science World if he could go a week without an accident. This is a different issue than training from scratch though.
My daughter has just automatically taken to the potty. She’s not 100% trained but everything that she’s done has been pretty much on her own.
My son didn’t want to be trained. He didn’t like a separate potty – and neither did we – so we put him on the toilet at scheduled intervals and we would sit there for as long as he would stay there or until he went. We did that over and over and over and eventually he was trained…until he wasn’t.
.-= Marilyn´s last post ..Who Knew I Was Such a Softie? =-.
Terribly depressing issue over here with child # 3. Never had any problems with her siblings. Good luck, I’m glad that you have an ice cream maker:)
.-= Francesca´s last post ..Fried zucchini blossoms for breakfast =-.
Hi Amber,
I was totally that mom that thought that it would be easier to have a child in diapers than to have to rush them to a toilet during the day. So when my biggest girl was 22 months and was totally diggin’ the toilet and wanting to sit on it and go, I panicked and didn’t follow up her interest with any serious steps.
Fast forward to me being 7 months pregnant and oldest girl now being 2.5 years and it was time to get serious.
Most of my Mama friends had been using Lora Jensen’s 3 Day Potty Training and I had heard nearly all report back with 100% success. http://www.3daypottytraining.com/ (It suggests that 22 months is the idea time for kids to give it a go!).
So, I got a copy of the manual, read it cover to cover and made the commitment. More than anything, I was UNBELIEVABLY AMAZED by my girl. Holy doodle! This 3 day method worked SO well! No joke, we were COLD TURKEY from diapers…none during the day, none at night…and never since. It was 3 day hard work and a lot of of 1:1 with your wee one (and who doesn’t need a good excuse to give that much 1:1 time, really!).
After the 3 days, there was way more confidence for both me and my girl. Yes, there are accidents to follow – occasionally for the first month or so. There are a number of ‘trouble shooting” strategies that we had to look into as well for her doing #2s, but all in all…a HUGE success! I feel like my potty training experience was EASY PEASY….and not just me, but many others who have used this method too!
Good Luck to you and Jacob!
.-= Kristin´s last post ..That Magical 8th Month! =-.
Oh gosh, is this what I have to look forward to? My son is just 16 months, but I was just thinking the other day, “When do we start potty training him and how do we do that?” Ugh. I feel really bad for you about the down comforter–cleaning those is expensive! I just found out after my son’s first bout with stomach flu.
.-= Sarah´s last post ..The Garden is IN! =-.
#1 son we took it easy. He had a potty to play with from 16 months on, always used it before naps & baths. Loved it. I think our issues with him were pretty typical – we did full on training closer to age 3 and the willfulness (plus baby brother issues) OH MY. Which I think has partly hooped our chances for early training with #2 son. He is 25 months. Until the last couple of weeks he has been adamantly opposed to the very IDEA of potties. I think, because he has become aware / verbal / “of age” the whole while his older brother and I have been having “Please use the bathroom before we go out. Because I said so.” discussions / power struggles, so #2 son is apprehensive. As would I be. Potty = conflict in his experience. Oops, my bad.
However, in the past two weeks he has chosen his own potty books from the library and STARES at people when they use the bathroom. It’s kind of freaky. But he’s doing it his own way. We shall see.
Your smile and Jacob’s are so identical. The two of you made me smile, too.
.-= clara´s last post ..Notes From Mother’s Journal: Morning Melts Into Afternoon =-.
Oh my……I dread potty training so much. We have done the Lora Jensen’s 3 Day potty training method twice. We first tried last July when Sarah was 26 months. After 4 days I threw in the towel. Fast forward to February 2010 (2 years 9 months) and we give it another try. The first day went amazing. She went pee on her own no problem. Then she would not go near the potty for the next 3 days. We tried everything. She also held her poo for 5 days. She can do it and has done it before, but refuses. It is the topic that we no longer speak of in our house because it is such a source of power for her. I really am not sure what else to do. I really do not want to be changing diapers when she is 7. I fear her brother (14 months) will be trained before her.
.-= Lisa´s last post ..A 5 km Walk to Remember =-.
We just waited until three days after Angus’s birthday (my mother in law who is a nurse but really might have made this up, told us there was an area in boys’ brains that made it extremely difficult to potty train them before the age of three). And then we said “do this. In here”. And he did. Eve was earlier, but didn’t really have accidents either. So my sense is to wait until the kid is ‘obviously’ ready, whatever that means, but I might have just been really, really lucky.
.-= allison´s last post ..****************In your dreams =-.
My oldest was one of those who caught on right away. Then again, we always waited until he was 3. My 4 year old, however, still has accidents. A lot of accidents. Since I’m still dealing with him, I’m not even thinking about training my 22 month old daughter right now.
.-= C @ Kid Things´s last post ..Always =-.
My daughter was a couple of months shy of her third birthday when she stopped wearing diapers. I think there is some truth to the “the older they are the easier it is” school of thought. I don’t know if I could have managed without sticker charts and other “motivational” items.
My little man is 16 months now, and I have no plans to start training him until he is 2 and 1/2 or so. Unless he shows some real interest before then, it doesn’t seem like there’s much reason to rush things.
Good luck!!!
.-= Roula´s last post ..Maia Update =-.
Oh man, feeling your potty training pains. Bothy older daughters were quick learners, and both around 24 months, so it wasn't but a few months before they got the hang of it, and both were night trained within a couple of months. Ruby, on the other hand…yeah. But at 23 months she is *mostly* potty trained, and will ask to use the potty 75% of the time. Been two months now, and I think we are closer to there than not. Oh and she is like, 90% night trained. Did you know someone told me in a recent issue of Parents magazine, they suggested waiting until 27-36 months to start potty training?? What the heck? They obviously don't have more than one child, or have to pay for their own disposables.
Reading this post makes me want to hit pause on my 18 month old because I know this is not too far in the future. I’m remembering potty training with my 4 year old son :-0 Interesting how in life a lot of the most challenging things have the biggest rewards. Sending my positive thoughts for a quick and successful potty training
.-= Wendy Irene´s last post ..The Power of Nature =-.
No number of stickers, candy bribes, “Big Boy” speeches, or even Star Wars underwear would convince my older son to use the potty. One day he decided he was tired of diapers, and started using the toilet. Now my younger son is 25 months, and we’re hoping he decides to imitate his big brother in the toilet-using, rather than the stubbornness.
.-= Lady M´s last post ..Music, Lights . . . =-.
Ah, nothing like a good potty talk to get moms going…
My little man, being a daycare kid, came to me one day – a little before his 3rd birthday – and said, “Can I wear underwear?” See, his daycare had moved him to the 3-5yr class about 3 1/2 months before his 3rd birthday, so he was the only kid still wearing pullups. Thank God for peer pressure
So I talked with the daycare teachers and they said to go for it. I sent him in underwear with a couple of changes of clothes and by day 4 he came home dry and never looked back.
Night time took longer. He peed at night regularly until he was almost 4 but the pullups finally came off when baby #2 came along.
.-= Michelle Evans´s last post ..Time Stands Still – The Story Continues =-.
I actually woke up thinking about this. Cassidy is 2 1/2, and while she’s pretty good at peeing in the toilet when we take her, she’s still in pull-ups and won’t say that she has to go on her own. Total laziness on our part, I know, so then I go days with just a naked bum and – yep, I clean up a lot of puddles. I know we just need to commit and get rid of all diaps and just go forward enthusiastically. it’s a matter of shit or get off the pot, so to speak.
.-= kgirl´s last post ..I Am a Terrible Mother and I Scream At Old Ladies =-.
Oh, I am so not looking forward to potty training with my son
With my first (a girl), our daycare provider was on a big kick with the kids to use the potty and had stickers and charts and all sorts of things going. Hubby and I didn’t really transfer this to the home though. When she was older (I think closer to three, but my memory is so bad!) I had a week off of work and I decided that I would tackle it on my own during that week. She was a huge fan of Dora at the time, so we went out and got Dora the Explorer big-girl underwear and before she put them on, I explained that there would be no more diapers. I got rid of all the diapers in the house, put on the panties and prepared myself for a lot of accidents. I put towels on the couch and let her go around the house in just underwear. But, surprisingly, she took right to it. Only two accidents that I can remember — one at the park, and one at daycare. And no problems at night. So, yeah, too easy!
Fast forward to now and we have a 23-month old boy. I hear boys are more challenging. Plus, my daughter was completely verbal and chatty when we toilet-trained her. My son uses only the words “some” and “more.” I’m not going to bother until maybe this summer when I’m on holidays again. I’m hoping his language skills will have increased substantially by the time I’m on holidays and I’ll give it a go then. WIsh me luck! I’ll follow along on this convo and see what extra tips I can get for my own soon-to-launch potty journey!
That made me laugh Amber…. “teaching her to pee on the floor and then use the potty”….hahaha. that is so how this is.
My horror was once during potty training, I heard from the kitchen Dharma singing a song: “I am dancing in mud, I am dancing in mud…” Yes, you guessed it what she was dancing in.
.-= Mel´s last post ..Kitchen lessons =-.
From the time our daughter was about five months old we started putting her on the potty when we notice she’s starting to poo (we keep the potty in the living room) . She’s pretty obvious about it what with the grunting and intensity of expression. We keep saying “do you have a poop? is that a poop?” and stuff like that while she’s sitting there doing her business. Unless we’re out somewhere public, she poos (and pees when it’s there) that way at least once per day. She likes it, and we love it because with cloth diapers it means we only have to scrape poo from nighttime diapers on occasion. In the last few weeks (she is now 1 year) she has started crawling to the potty and hitting it when she needs to poo. Now, she’s far from being potty trained, but I’m liking what I see so far. There’s no pressure when you start so young because it just becomes something you do. It will be interesting to see how she progresses once she starts to walk, and beyond.
Laura’s last post … Only Guys Are Gamers
I really cannot wait. I dream about it. But I do thank you for pointing out something I have not heard before regarding little boys and directionality …Let the good times roll!
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We took the easy way out. It wasn’t until he was 2.5 that I tried that whole naked all day thing. We did that for about a month and then one day he said he wanted to buy underwear. We took him to the store, let him pick out underwear and he never ever wore a diaper again. It has been a year now and I still don’t believe it is real! He really is a “decide on his own” type child, the type that never showed any signs of walking (no pulling up, no cruising) and then one day walked. Same with potty stuff. Had we tried to “train” him I think it would have backfired. Course I have no idea what my 2nd boy will be like. Just the opposite I imagine.
AmberDusick’s last post … Goin’ Campin’ & someone elses giveaway!
I’m sure I did pottytraining completely wrong, but the way it worked for both of my kids, a boy and a girl, was we started at 2 1/2 and each of them did exactly the same thing (just two years apart). They made one potty and one poop in the toilet and then refused to set foot in the bathroom again until they were 4. That’s when they both decided to start using the toilet and didn’t look back. They’re probably both scarred for life.
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Things really started to sink in with my daughter when we started letting her wear underwear instead of pull ups. Wetting the underwear really drove home that she didn’t want to pee in her pants, wheras the pullups kind of keep the wetness away from them. I also put layers of washable blankets on the sofa in case of the inevitable accidents. The other thing I did was to use one of those little portable training potties and put her on it first thing in the morning. I put it right out in the living room in front of the television and let her sit there until she did her business. She was fine sitting there because she wasn’t stuck in the bathroom, and I think that consistency of that helped it to sink in that the potty was where she was supposed to go. Eventually we moved the operation into the actual bathroom and got rid of the potty seat.
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I kid of don’t even want to start. We have started a bit, but I am so reluctant to jump right in!
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