I recently bought Hannah some tempera paint. I was actually looking for water colours. You know, the small, hard cakes that come 10 to a tray in a case with a clear plastic lid. I like those paints because they’re cheap, they’re washable, and they can’t spill. However, for some reason I couldn’t track them down that easily. Or at least not easily enough. I tried the grocery store and our local toy store, where I gave in and just bought the tempera paint. Yes, I know I could have visited one of a dozen other stores and probably found some, but when you’re traveling with two small, cranky children you want to minimize stops at all costs.
I bought the paint because I wanted to make hand and footprints with the kids as gifts. Which was probably ill-conceived. Have you ever spread paint on an 8-month-old’s hand, and then tried to convince him to open it and press it firmly against a sheet of paper? It is not easy. It is particularly not easy to get him to do it in the right spot. You find yourself speaking ever more loudly and slowly, as if that will help at all. “Jacob! Please open your hand! Open! Open! OPEN!” I sort of succeeded once. At least I tried, right? That’s got to count for something.
Anyway, I was left with 8 largish bottles full of paint. Hannah wanted to do some painting, so I set her up. At first I monitored her very closely. I poured little bits of paint into small containers. I hovered. I provided her with cloths and water for rinsing. I added a drop of soap to each little paint cup because I heard it makes it easier to wash later. And Hannah did fine. She was really careful and created a few works of art.
You veteran parents know what happens next. Buoyed by your success, you become complacent. Your child seems to have mastered the paint, and is playing happily on her own. So you leave the room and read a book, surf the web, do a row of knitting. It doesn’t really matter, you’re just taking advantage of a rare moment of peace. And then your child shows up and says, “Look at me!”
Oh. My. She helpfully offers that if you mix red and white paint together you get pink. And if you mix more white and more red, you get more pink. She’s learning about colour and texture, and having a lot of fun.
Only, you know, she’s covered. The carpet she walked across to find you is covered. The floor is covered. Yes, there is a sheet of paper buried under all that paint, but it doesn’t matter anymore. Because you experienced a parental lapse and now you will pay the price.
Let this be a lesson to you. Do not leave a 4-year-old alone with paint. It will end very, very badly indeed. I can’t believe I was so fantastically foolish as to not foresee this inevitable outcome. I will not make this mistake again, that’s for sure.
Please, share some tales of your parental lapses. I know I’m not the only one.
Oh no. I knew the minute you said “Tempera paint” this Could Not End Well.
(Also, I find the loonie store is a good place for those watercolour paints – the big one at Coq Centre should have them)
At least it’s something she put on her body (and everywhere else) as opposed to something that came out of her body, if you know what I mean
When Angus was a baby, he had this Lamaze spider he loved to play with. One day I was trying to make dinner and he was on the table in his bucket seat playing with it but he kept dropping it. In my sleep-deprived hormone-crazed state, I actually climbed up on a chair and started to tie it to the kitchen light fixture directly above him so it would dangle in front of him and amuse him. As I was up there, I looked down and saw his soft little head and his strong little fists waving around and realized that this was a VERY VERY BAD IDEA. Another True Story of one of the Thousands of Times I Nearly Killed My Child through Criminal Stupidity.
The last one cracked me up so much. I’m not laughing at your pain of having to clean it up, but just at the surprise of when I saw it. I was only expecting paint on Hannah.
Our Dollarramma has a craft mats that are 2′x2′ and they are awesome. The were a buck each and I bought enough to cover my table. It is easier to wash these off in the tub rather than clean up newsprint.
I much prefer to paint outside in the warm weather…I can just hose them off and their surroundings.
Looks like Hannah is a good artist though. And, I do know how hard it is to make hand prints…took the kids a couple of years ago to make trivets with their hand prints….not a fun experience. But, the trivets are nice to have today.
Last night my daughter fell asleep with the bite valve of a Camelbak bottle in her mouth. We let her have a Camelbak bottle by her bed in case she is thirsty in the middle of the night. But lately she has been falling asleep on her own. This means we often go into her room just after she’s conked out, to find her completely naked, down at the bottom of the bed, her head encased in covers…and in this case, the bite valve in her mouth with the water bottle spilling a puddle over over her bed.
She has such a great sense of style – dress matches paint . . . um, matches hands, and floor . . .
My lapses have to do with leaving scissors within reach. No damage to the child, but the mail wasn’t so lucky.
i’ve obliterated all the lapses from my mind as a survival technique
ps: creative kids on murray street, pomo sells the trays of big block paints and they are fab
Kudos to you for sharing this experience. I read so many blogs (including my own-LOL!)that come off like life is always unicorns and rainbows. Parents share only the good. Only the ideal.
This was not ideal.
Although it was a bit of a rainbow, I suppose. An unplanned, messy rainbow. Without a unicorn.
This is why I have The Room I Shall Repaint Later.
The above does not explain why I moved the craft table to the dining room…
My system still needs a bit of refinement.
oops! The good news is the lesson on mixing pink, right? Hmmm. Her haircut is looking really good.
Katie
This story is priceless! And one very similar to my own daily stories almost. I never seem to learn that even though my two little ones are playing nicely, as soon as I leave the room for 3 seconds, my 2 1/2 year old always finds trouble to get into. Never fails, and I never seem to learn….
Creative Kids does sell them but they have a $50.00 minimum as they are a supply store. I go monthly for my daycares if you want I could grab some for you.
And FYI the purple even though it says it’s washable, never is!