When Hannah was around 18 months old she started expressing Opinions about her clothing. No longer content to let me choose, she discarded the outfits I carefully laid out in favour of something pinker, sparklier, frillier. The adorable green capri pants? No way. Pants in general? No way. Hannah wanted dresses and skirts and tights with glittery stars on them and lots and lots of frou frou.
I made my peace with my daughter’s love of all things girly. I decided that the important thing was that being girly was her free choice, and not something that I imposed on her. And so I stopped buying gender-neutral colours and gave in to the Pepto Bismol hue that Hannah’s closet attained. I like pink myself – it’s just a colour. No need to make it the enemy.
Hannah decided to wear this outfit to the beach at age 4 1/2
Hannah may dress the part of a Disney Princess, but thankfully she doesn’t act like one. She is every bit as active and playful in her fancy Christmas dress as her more sedately-dressed peers. She climbs trees in sparkly shoes and rides her bike in velvet. She gets her best dress covered in sand and then just shrugs when it won’t come out. Hannah feels that clothes are meant to be worn – especially fancy ones.
Different Christmas dress, same beach / playground at age 5
Every daycare and school that Hannah has attended included a note in the welcome package that stated we should send children in play clothes. The teachers didn’t want to be responsible for keeping 3-year-olds and their fancy clothes clean, and I understand that. Kids need to be able to get dirty sometimes. Early on, I actually tried to follow this rule, because heaven knows that I love a good rule. Even though I was cool with Hannah covering her fancy clothes in paint, I was worried that her teachers wouldn’t be.
Up a tree at age 5
Eventually, I gave up my efforts to dress Hannah ‘appropriately’. This kid has her own sense of style. Yes, those colours may clash to any objective adult observer. I may cringe at the brown stains on the knees of the brand-new pink pants with ruffles, or at the way that she tosses out the shirt I bought her. But this is not about me. This is about my daughter, and she is fabulous. Fabulously herself, wearing just what she chooses. Not letting it hold her back.
Really, if you think about it, maybe I could learn something from her. Fashion should be fun, right? Perhaps I should stop worrying so much about matching and worry more about what I enjoy. I’ve worn black shoes for long enough – time for some colour. We’ll see where I go from there.
What do you think? Do you embrace all things fancy, or are you all caught up on not being a fashion don’t? And what are your kids like? Tell me all about it!
This is cute.
If you told my daughter you had a treat for her, clothes or a toy, she would pick the clothes. She is THAT into clothes at 3.5 years. Crazy. Some mornings are a battle because she knows absolutely nothing about dressing for the weather. But we do have one rule established and its that I get a say in what she wears on daycare days – just so that she is wearing appropriate “play clothes” and right for the weather. I’ve given up on trying to get her to wear outfits that I think are cute. She prefers “soft pants” over jeans and anything that is pink or has a pattern. I am now buying to accommodate her interests and not mine. Its just easier that way.
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Like you I made my peace that Dharma loves pink and sparkles and yes, it is only a glitter and a colour.
Our clothing battles are usually also about seasonal clothes, or rather me refusing to let her go to school in a summer dress or getting dressed and five minutes later changing her mind or me letting her choose an item of clothing in the shop and then she is not wearing it.
Overall, however, I have to say that the kid has developed quite a cool sense of style, maybe not so obvious to the observer, after all stripy tights, with green polka dot skirt, pink mouse top may not be so cool to the casual observer but to me and her it’s kinda cool. And the summerdress gets worn with some longs sleeves underneath and leggins.
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I must’ve taken my 14 month-old shopping too much because when he got a shirt for his birthday from some relatives, he held it up the way I do in a store when I’m trying to see how big something is, lol. He turned it around and held out the sleeves and was generally adorable and hilarious. If I bother to ask, he’ll pick blue every time, but will still wear whatever I put on him.
I love comfy clothes and skirts, but don’t want to worry about being ladylike while chasing a toddler, so I LOVE skorts. I know they aren’t very grown up. But I like them so I wear them anyway. And I love hot pink and wear it as much as possible. For the b-day I mentioned, I wore a neon pink nursing top, a flowy khaki skirt, and hot pink sneakers. I was comfy and I think not too terribly unfashionable!
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I was just talking about this last night with another Mom, how if we buy a Fancy Dress for an occasion, after the occasion it is the girls to wear where she will. Eve is the same as Hannah, and I have let her wear princess dresses to school, bunny costumes to the gym play room and whatever else she picks. If people don’t like it, they don’t have to look. In fact, they shouldn’t, because their humourless stick-up-the-butt cooties might get on us.
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I’m terrified to have a girl for this very reason. I was a tom boy so I have zero frame of reference for all things girlie. I didn’t even TOUCH eyeliner until I was 25. I don’t know. I guess I’ll let my daughter dress however she likes. Fancy is okay, but I agree, there has to be a balance. If she’s going to be in a situation where she’s going to get dirty inevitably I’ll put her in a less than fantastic outfit.
My youngest would wear a dress everyday if I let her. And for the most part I do. Even the dresses that I bought for her to be kInd of special occasion dresses have become play clothes. I don’t think her pre-school teacher likes this very much, no matter how much I’ve told her it’s okay if she gets them dirty. But now that it’s getting colder she still wants to wear them with her summer shoes, so mama has to lay down the law. Winter dresses and boots only. Yep, that girl of mine is going to have the best fashion sense ever!
I think maybe it has something to do with the name Hannah. My Hannah is pretty much the same way. She is fascinated with all things feminine! She is most comfortable in skirts and dresses. She hates when I try to put her in pants or at least leggings under her dressier clothes when it is too cold for bare legs. She too is a rough and tumble kid, even though she prances every where on her tip toes too! I appreciate the girly stage she is going through – I remember our own teen years full of grunge clothing and how ugly that was. I am sure there will come a time when I don’t like the clothes she wears, but I will have a box full of pictures of these days when I did like what she wore!
the wee guy (age 7y) has been dressing himself in his choice for a long time (ie. i’ve forgotten since when). his style has been evolving and i love what he pulls together. i ignore The Look at school and just smile inwardly when i listen in on The Looker describing how fraught her morning is.
luckily he is quite happy with my choices of clothing – we thrift shop mostly, and he thinks this is the norm. i guess as he grows older, peer pressure to conform will start to influence him so until then i’ll enjoy him being him. hopefully, he’ll retain his own sense of style and individuality.
as for me, i am embracing individual style. this includes wearing ‘fancy stuff’ day to day. geez, if i kept it for fancy it would never see the light of day. in translation, this means i turn up for school pick up in clothing that Is Not Lululemon, Not Exercise Gear, Not Sensible Flat Shoes, and (gasp) Not Juicy Couture! Zoot alors! I get asked “are you going out?” a lot. No, I work from home, is my reply.
Life, as they say, is not a rehearsal …. and as far as I am concerned, every day is the full dress version.
PS: yes i do wear jeans
PPS: occasionally the wee guy requests i wear a skirt cos i then look like a princess
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My oldest will not let me dress him. It’s WW3 in here if I try to suggest an outfit. Drives me nuts. “No child, sometimes it’s NOT appropriate to wear your swim trunks and a flannel shirt to a birthday party!”
I have had to give in to yellow shirts for Jackson. Yellow is J’s favourite colour but do you know how hard it is to find a boy’s shirt in yellow. Near impossible. Luckily he is easy to find in the playground. Easty is also very much a girly girl, who doesn’t like to wear clothes that actually match or that fit her. If she loves it, no matter how small, she demands to wear it and I will give in because. Because it is just clothes. Her recent find in the box of secondhand clothes from my g/f was a black velvet dress with silver glitter sparkle trim on it. E has worn it everywhere. I had to hid it, in order to wash it. It’s too small but I finally convinced her to wear leggings under it. That was a battle though. I have also had to buy NEW skirts & dresses because the ones that we have DO NOT have twirl capacity. E’s only requirement is the twirl factor, LOTS of twirl factor. Even though it can be a headache when you are in a rush & none of the clothes that the kids want to wear are clean, I just love their unique personalities and definitely their unique styles.
Sounds like your daughter would enjoy the Fancy Nancy books!
All three of mine have different preferences and issues about clothes – my oldest (boy) wears pretty much whatever, yet, although it can’t be scratchy. My middle child (boy) HATES if something is too much too big, and is fussy about pattern and colour, too. My youngest, the girl, is in a class of her own, yet remarkably sounds much like your daughter!
I’ve stopped buying sets of clothes, and encourage her participation in the mix and match of her clothes. As for the seasonal stuff, what’s out of season is hidden away, so we can’t fight about inappropriate seasonal clothes. For school clothes, they can pick what they like from what is hanging in the closet, pants included. Play clothes are on the shelves below, and I firmly enforce that rule.
We’re huge Fancy Nancy fans. HUGE.
I have two little girls, and oh boy they have opinions. And I’m ok with that. Myself? My wardrobe is the void of color. I thrive in black, brown and neutrals. But again, I’m ok with that.
I always lave your stories and pictures!
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I think it’s great that Hannah has such a keen sense of style already. She is so girly!
I have two girls and my oldest (7) likes shorts and jeans and will only wear a dress if I insist. I still pick out her clothes everyday and I’m thinking maybe it’s time she started doing it herself. She is just so content with me picking out her clothes. My youngest (almost 4) is also fine with whatever I pick out for her to wear unless it “bugs her” in some way. She’s a little fancier than M and would insist on layering dresses so that she could wear more than one at a time. Both of my girls went through a dress phase at around the same age – from 2-3 where they insisted on wearing dresses everyday.
I like your attitude with this, Amber. Go for the colored shoes! Personally, I love red shoes, and my dream are red suede boots, if I could only find them. I now embrace all fancy things, but I spent my teen age years in tight jeans that I’d take in myself (my first sewing efforts) and shapeless tops, the contra-uniform of kids like me. At my first job in a US bank I was required to wear skirts, I held a meeting with my female co-workers (Brits), and I was the only one who thought that women should be allowed to wear pants at work. Now I have my own sense of style, wear what I please (lots of skirts and dresses), and look at the tight jeans that are back in fashion with disbelief. My kids? Well, that’s another story, how much time have you got:)?
Ciao!
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I love it!
Ivy is very choosy about what she wears and- considering she is 2 years old- I know whatever i put her in is at risk for wear and tear and stains. I do have some people ask me if I’m concerned she might stain up a pretty dress, but that is what washing machines are for! 
Steph
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She does look fabulous!
Buster has very specific conditions about pants. Blue is preferred over tan, super-soft is preferred over all else. There isn’t quite as much variety for the boys, unless we start getting into the costume realm. Then, no holds barred.
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My oldest daughter is beginning to develop very strong clothing preferences. Overnight she decided that she doesn’t like buttons. She eschews jeans in favor of “soft pants” but prefers dresses over anything else. Suggesting that she wear long sleeves when it is long sleeve weather can trigger tears so with the fall season upon us mornings have become challenging.
I really like your comment about fancy clothes being meant to be worn and have recently thought about how many other areas of life this applies to. The nice china SHOULD be used for family dinners, not saved for “special occasions.” The dolls that my great-grandmother made should be played with by my girls, not just stored in a plastic tote for another 60 years. The fanciness and fun in life should be enjoyed NOW…before it’s too late.
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Yep, my daughter is the same. I battled the pink,http://growfamilygrow.wordpress.com/2010/01/19/pink/, but finally came to your place and decided to go with the flow. This weekend while camping she wore frills and pink to climb, to bike, to sit by the campfire.
I second or third the recommendation to add color to your shoes.
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I used to guide Emma’s choices fairly strictly (you can pick this or THIS), but now I let her have more freedom. Within reason (we do live up north, after all). I think I’m going to take her shopping with me now that she’s past kindergarten age and let her pick some of her own clothes to purchase as well. Deep breath…the control freak in me CAN get past this…
There is nothing about Hannah that is a fashion “don’t.” She is fabulous!
I too was a very “girly girl” (pink, pink, pink, pink, and more pink! with some pink accents!), which tripped my second-wave feminist mom out, but like you, she just let it slide. I believe that fashion and style are valid forms of expression. If we minimize fashion and style as “silly” endeavors we do women’s work a disservice. Fashion is art.
BTW, I want that little plaid dress! Too cute!
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My 3.5yo is also into sparkles, dresses, and tiaras, and although much of it is pink because that is the color the manufactures often make for girls, she would prefer red. I’m lucky on the seasonally appropriateness of clothes because she hates being to hot or cold. I generally do not let her wear her really fancy clothes at the playground, not because they will get dirty, but because I don’t think it’s safe to have so many flounces and bows and fabric as well as slippery shoes that could cause her to get hurt if she slipped or clothing caught on something.
She is fabulous! I love that idea of sparkly for every day, because I don’t know that I’ll ever have an appropriate occasion to wear a prom dress again.
For you, let me recommend red shoes. I started wearing red shoes several years ago, and they go with everything. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. Also, they make you stand out, but in a marvelous way.
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We buy a lot of clothes second hand so I don’t mind if the girl wears a party dress to the park and trashes it. I might care if I was spending a lot of money on the clothes, but this way ti works out well.
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