I was reading the paper this morning, and I came across a story about a school in Kingston, Ontario that implemented a reward system for good behaviour. In this system, students wear an ID card around their neck, with a punch card tucked in behind. Every time the student goes something ‘good’, they get a hole punched in their card. They need a certain number of holes to participate in special events.
Some parents are boycotting the system, and as a result their children are not being permitted to particpate in the Halloween party. Not because they’re badly behaved, but because they don’t have the punch cards and therefore don’t have the requisite number of holes. The parents are angry because they say this amounts to a punishment for their kids. The principal says if they don’t participate, they can’t expect the benefits that would come with participation.
Speaking purely for myself, the very idea of this sort of reward system is horrifying. The principal argues that by implementing the reward system now, later the children will learn that good behaviour is its own reward. And how will that happen? How does receiving a hole in a card for lining up quietly create an incentive to line up quietly once the reward is gone? Isn’t it possible that it will lead to the children expecting some sort of prize for every little thing they do?
I am a big fan of Barbara Coloroso and Alfie Kohn, parenting experts and educators who argue against rewards and punishments for children. The lack of praise was a big sticking point for me at first, since our culture is so geared in this direction. Spend five minutes at a playground and count how many times you hear ‘good job’ or its equivalent. But my perspective changed when I did a little bit of reading and soul-searching.
The problem with artificial systems like punch cards, sticker charts, or time outs is that kids aren’t learning why they should behave in a certain way. They don’t come to understand the impact their actions have on others. They’re not learning to think critically. Instead they’re learning to avoid getting caught when they’re ‘bad’. To seek rewards and praise. And to please others first.
These are not messages I want to give to my children. And so far, I’ve found that you really can parent without using time outs, sticker charts, and lots of empty praise. It’s a big departure, but it’s completely freeing as a parent. Your kids will not be hooligans who walk all over you because you treat them with respect and dignity. Really.
So, yes, I entirely disagree with the school. Having said that, though, I sort of wonder if the parents are taking the best route. I think that if Hannah’s school implemented something like this I would voice my protest, but I wouldn’t necessarily boycott if it meant my kid missed out on all the fun. The boys in the article are in grade 5, so they may be able to understand the situation. I know that for my little one, it would seem completely unfair and incomprehensible to miss a party because of her mom.
In the end I just really hope that I don’t encounter this sort of thing in my kids’ schools. I think these sorts of situations are exactly what leads so many parents to choose home-schooling.
I tottally agree with you on this Amber. In our house we don’t really ‘time out’s’ – but we do have time for miss E to calm down in her own space and think about coming out with a different attitude. I love Barbara Coloroso, she offers so many good tips for keeping your cool as a parent.
Strati and I are in agreement that we would probably withdraw our child from such a school. I would like to add that I’d first try standing in the principal’s office to watch him/her read some key passages of Punished by Rewards (Kohn).
Did you hear about the school that issues each child only a certain number of passes per month to use the toilet during class times? There are kids at that school refusing to drink liquids during the day because they don’t have any passes left.
Wow, toilet passes? That’s really over the top! I hope these cases are exceptions, and not the norm.
In a classroom and school environment it can be very hard to maintain positive student behavior. Often this results in children being punished quite a bit. I understand not believing in punishments/rewards, but the classroom is a much different environment than the home. At home you can get to know your child- at school it’s usually 1 teacher to 20 or 30 children for 8-9 months- they don’t have the time to figure out what works for each child. They need the kids to behave so they can get an education. Without an external positive only token system this can be very hard.
You are right that we want kids to do the right thing simply because it is right. However, other experts have researched behavior modification and it has been shown that reinforcing desired behaviors does actually teach kids what is right and what isn’t.
In the real world there is no punch card, and experts realize this. That is why good teachers will gradually “fade” out artificial rewards. It is best practice to use natural reinforcers whenever possible (like positive peer/adult attention, a good grade on an assignment,and so on) that the student will really experience in their daily lives.
Also, kids DO need to know what it is that they did right or wrong. So, when they get a punch the teacher should be specific in telling them exactly what they did to earn that card.When an effectively implemented program coupled with teaching expectations and what makes a good person, these kind of reinforcers are very effective and DO help kids learn what is right and wrong. You will be hard pressed to find a classroom environment where teachers provide NO positive reinforcement and kids are well-behaved and motivated. We all need to know when we’re doing good things–and we need to reward kids with things that they are interested in. Some kids are intrinsically motivated, but what should we do with the kids who are not? For some, extrinsic motivation is the only kind of motivation there is. I would rather my kid do something for a “punch” on his card than do nothing at all because he doesn’t see the pay off.
I can’t fathom not every telling a child they did a ‘good job’ for something. Can you imagine working your butt off for a company for years and never getting rewards for your good job. Not giving positive reinforcement for a job well done in school is like working at that company and never receiving a raise. Reward systems don’t stop when we get out of school, they continue throughout our lives, as well as punishment systems. Not getting a hole punched on your card for not lining up quietly is the same a getting a ticket when you speed. As is getting a raise at that company or just receiving some sort of commendation for a job well done.
Positive reinforcement works, especially for kids, who have not yet learned that good behavior is it’s own reward. Those moms on the playground telling their children they are doing a good job at something is only going to encourage that child to continue the behavior until they are old enough to tell themselves, ‘Good Job!’
Think about this not in research terminology but in real life, could you go through life never having someone acknowledge your good work. Saying that good behavior is it’s own reward and actually getting kids to understand that is two different stories. Kids at that age haven’t quite developed the empathy level to practice good behavior for its own sake.
This kind of reminded me of that whole Scientology belief about not talking to a newborn baby for seven days, the same period of time in which the most bonding occurs between mother and baby