Comments on: Repost: Pretty http://www.strocel.com/repost-pretty/ Keeping it real in the suburbs Fri, 10 Feb 2012 04:01:52 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Strocel.com | Gender, Children's Characters and Me http://www.strocel.com/repost-pretty/#comment-95709 Strocel.com | Gender, Children's Characters and Me Tue, 27 Sep 2011 13:03:12 +0000 http://www.strocel.com/?p=5899#comment-95709 [...] age, she started expressing herself – and her fledgling gender identity – by choosing “pretty” clothes. She didn’t want to wear pants, she didn’t want to wear the colour green and [...] [...] age, she started expressing herself – and her fledgling gender identity – by choosing “pretty” clothes. She didn’t want to wear pants, she didn’t want to wear the colour green and [...]

]]> By: Strocel.com | Swimsuits and Six-Year-Olds http://www.strocel.com/repost-pretty/#comment-84725 Strocel.com | Swimsuits and Six-Year-Olds Wed, 15 Jun 2011 17:08:59 +0000 http://www.strocel.com/?p=5899#comment-84725 [...] culture says is attractive, after all, and I wanted to be attractive. Not sexually attractive, but pretty. And I can see that my daughter feels the same way. She just wants to wear the same stuff that [...] [...] culture says is attractive, after all, and I wanted to be attractive. Not sexually attractive, but pretty. And I can see that my daughter feels the same way. She just wants to wear the same stuff that [...]

]]> By: Amber http://www.strocel.com/repost-pretty/#comment-42208 Amber Sat, 19 Sep 2009 16:20:04 +0000 http://www.strocel.com/?p=5899#comment-42208 I think I would rather that the mall adults just said 'hello', or if they felt the need to comment that they chose something not so loaded. Even, "I like those shoes you are wearing," is a little less loaded than, "You have such pretty, pretty shoes!" I think I would rather that the mall adults just said ‘hello’, or if they felt the need to comment that they chose something not so loaded. Even, “I like those shoes you are wearing,” is a little less loaded than, “You have such pretty, pretty shoes!”

]]> By: kgirl http://www.strocel.com/repost-pretty/#comment-42151 kgirl Wed, 16 Sep 2009 12:46:37 +0000 http://www.strocel.com/?p=5899#comment-42151 Well, it's hard to deny her adorableness, but I'll tell you as a mom just a couple years ahead of where you are now - my girls are 4 and 21 mos. - she is simply in the phase of her life where it is still important to please you. Every bit of attention or praise that she gets will be equated with 'good,' because it's what she knows makes everybody smile. Right now pretty does indeed equal good, but so would anything else. Take it while it lasts; in a couple of years she will be demanding 'pretty' things (and you'd be surprised what a pre-schooler decides is pretty) without giving a hoot about whether or not you are pleased with her behaviour. But I hear ya. .-= kgirl´s last post ..<a href="http://kidsarealrightto.blogspot.com/2009/09/crisiscatharsis.html" rel="nofollow">Crisis/Catharsis</a> =-. Well, it’s hard to deny her adorableness, but I’ll tell you as a mom just a couple years ahead of where you are now – my girls are 4 and 21 mos. – she is simply in the phase of her life where it is still important to please you. Every bit of attention or praise that she gets will be equated with ‘good,’ because it’s what she knows makes everybody smile. Right now pretty does indeed equal good, but so would anything else.

Take it while it lasts; in a couple of years she will be demanding ‘pretty’ things (and you’d be surprised what a pre-schooler decides is pretty) without giving a hoot about whether or not you are pleased with her behaviour.

But I hear ya.
.-= kgirl´s last post ..Crisis/Catharsis =-.

]]> By: Jennifer http://www.strocel.com/repost-pretty/#comment-42147 Jennifer Wed, 16 Sep 2009 00:32:41 +0000 http://www.strocel.com/?p=5899#comment-42147 Well, she is adorable, of course. But I do see where you are coming from. My problem was with the adults who said that children were to be seen and not heard. That was a low blow to my adventurous/opinionated side. .-= Jennifer´s last post ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/Paramomal/~3/Tse72mfddvI/" rel="nofollow">Cicada</a> =-. Well, she is adorable, of course. But I do see where you are coming from. My problem was with the adults who said that children were to be seen and not heard. That was a low blow to my adventurous/opinionated side.
.-= Jennifer´s last post ..Cicada =-.

]]> By: *pol http://www.strocel.com/repost-pretty/#comment-42144 *pol Tue, 15 Sep 2009 23:39:57 +0000 http://www.strocel.com/?p=5899#comment-42144 My sister was the "pretty" girl. Striking golden blonde hair and energetic smile, always ready to perform and giggle right on cue.... that was my sister. And she is still beautiful (and blond thanks to modern chemistry) and uses her looks as a tool to help her get ahead in her career and social situations. Don't knock beauty. Beautiful people have it easier in alot of ways. I am very grateful my sister never let it go to her head or get obsessed with it, she may be blonde but she has NEVER been stupid! Next to my sister I was just plain. The compliments came as a polite footnote to my sister's. And my personality not nearly as bubbly and outgoing as my sister... now that I think of it I probably came across as too serious for a kid. I still feel tremendous gratitude when someone sees the family resemblence between us! Isn't that funny?! Back to your dilemma, I wish you luck with that. The best gift my dad ever gave me was not defining me or my sister as "girls". We were permitted to get dirty, climb trees, wear pants and play cars with our friends. Being girlie-girls was fun too, but never enforced. Pink was just another colour. And the Cinderella movie was on the shelf next to Star Wars (Princess Leia can handle a blaster with the best of them). .-= *pol´s last post ..<a href="http://pol-loves.blogspot.com/2009/09/1994.html" rel="nofollow">1994</a> =-. My sister was the “pretty” girl. Striking golden blonde hair and energetic smile, always ready to perform and giggle right on cue…. that was my sister. And she is still beautiful (and blond thanks to modern chemistry) and uses her looks as a tool to help her get ahead in her career and social situations. Don’t knock beauty. Beautiful people have it easier in alot of ways. I am very grateful my sister never let it go to her head or get obsessed with it, she may be blonde but she has NEVER been stupid!
Next to my sister I was just plain. The compliments came as a polite footnote to my sister’s. And my personality not nearly as bubbly and outgoing as my sister… now that I think of it I probably came across as too serious for a kid. I still feel tremendous gratitude when someone sees the family resemblence between us! Isn’t that funny?!

Back to your dilemma, I wish you luck with that. The best gift my dad ever gave me was not defining me or my sister as “girls”. We were permitted to get dirty, climb trees, wear pants and play cars with our friends. Being girlie-girls was fun too, but never enforced. Pink was just another colour. And the Cinderella movie was on the shelf next to Star Wars (Princess Leia can handle a blaster with the best of them).
.-= *pol´s last post ..1994 =-.

]]> By: caroline http://www.strocel.com/repost-pretty/#comment-42138 caroline Tue, 15 Sep 2009 17:30:25 +0000 http://www.strocel.com/?p=5899#comment-42138 I, in constrast, was never told I was pretty or cute when I was a very young girl, by anyone. Most times, with my at-home bowl cut and baseball hat, my parents would get "What a cute little boy!". I got told, a lot, when growing up, that I was tough, that I was rough, and that I was useful. Not exactly empowering for a girl. I took it to heart and was a true tom boy. It influenced me to have a disdain for anything "pretty" or "cute", and I think, in the long run, it has prevented me from really being confident in some areas of my life, like makeup, high heels, being "womanly", and accepting pink as a wardrobe colour. :P I think there is a happy medium between encouraging the "pretty girl" vs "strong girl" ideals. Let her feel pretty, let her have her girly stuff, and as she gets older, take that pretty stuff and incorporate it into her empowering activities! Pink glittery soccer shin guards, for instance. :) And here is the biggest influence of all. You! No matter how many strangers tell her she is the epitomy of some little girl stereotype, she will look to you to shape her beliefs and actions in this world. Heavy, I know, but also relieving, I think. .-= caroline´s last post ..<a href="http://mustangsabby.wordpress.com/2009/09/14/submission/" rel="nofollow">Submission</a> =-. I, in constrast, was never told I was pretty or cute when I was a very young girl, by anyone. Most times, with my at-home bowl cut and baseball hat, my parents would get “What a cute little boy!”. I got told, a lot, when growing up, that I was tough, that I was rough, and that I was useful. Not exactly empowering for a girl. I took it to heart and was a true tom boy.

It influenced me to have a disdain for anything “pretty” or “cute”, and I think, in the long run, it has prevented me from really being confident in some areas of my life, like makeup, high heels, being “womanly”, and accepting pink as a wardrobe colour. :P

I think there is a happy medium between encouraging the “pretty girl” vs “strong girl” ideals. Let her feel pretty, let her have her girly stuff, and as she gets older, take that pretty stuff and incorporate it into her empowering activities! Pink glittery soccer shin guards, for instance. :)

And here is the biggest influence of all. You! No matter how many strangers tell her she is the epitomy of some little girl stereotype, she will look to you to shape her beliefs and actions in this world. Heavy, I know, but also relieving, I think.
.-= caroline´s last post ..Submission =-.

]]> By: FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com http://www.strocel.com/repost-pretty/#comment-42137 FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com Tue, 15 Sep 2009 17:12:43 +0000 http://www.strocel.com/?p=5899#comment-42137 I think if you definitely have your work cut out for you, but if you are conscious of not promoting and pushing the idea of a pretty girl = good girl, then I'm sure you'll be fine. I think I was told I was cute and pretty all the time as a kid, but my parents never really enforced that mindset by complimenting me every day, which helped I think. But I'm curious -- what would you rather the mall adults say? I think if you definitely have your work cut out for you, but if you are conscious of not promoting and pushing the idea of a pretty girl = good girl, then I’m sure you’ll be fine.

I think I was told I was cute and pretty all the time as a kid, but my parents never really enforced that mindset by complimenting me every day, which helped I think.

But I’m curious — what would you rather the mall adults say?

]]> By: Sarah http://www.strocel.com/repost-pretty/#comment-56166 Sarah Tue, 15 Sep 2009 13:52:00 +0000 http://www.strocel.com/?p=5899#comment-56166 Very interesting post. Really gave me something to think about when speaking to my 2 year old girl. Thanks! Very interesting post. Really gave me something to think about when speaking to my 2 year old girl. Thanks!

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