It’s Mat Leave Monday! Today I’m going to talk about planning your return to work once your maternity leave is over. This would be the time I would be making my plans if I were going back. Plus I did go back after Hannah was born. So I feel like I can offer a few insights.
The first thing you need to plan for when you return to work is child care. Ideally, you will have done this very early on in your maternity leave, or maybe even before it started. Good daycare generally comes with a long wait list, unless you happen to be a close friend or family member of your provider, and you really don’t want to be scrambling in your last few days off. I wrote about finding childcare back in February, and it’s a great place to start if you’re still considering your options.
I did one thing when I returned to work after Hannah was born that saved my bacon. I started her in daycare a full month before my return. (Keep in mind that this is Canada so she was already 11 1/2 months old at the time.) I was hesitant to do this because I really wanted to maximize my time with my child, but it ended up being a great choice. Starting daycare can be rough on everyone, especially for the first week or two. By starting her well before my return to work date I was able to be there and give her the most gradual and gentle introduction possible.
But starting Hannah earlier was also a big help to me. By the end of her second week she was well settled. Although I’d already screened it, it wasn’t until we were underway that I felt totally confident with our daycare arrangement. By the time I started back at work a couple of weeks later I was no longer worried when I dropped Hannah off in the morning. Of course I was always thinking of her and I was sad to leave her, but I wasn’t distracted at work wondering if she was all right or trying to arrange another daycare option.
Once child care is squared away you will want to be in touch with the office, if you haven’t been already. If you’ve been gone for a year your employer might not remember your exact start date so giving them ample notice of your return helps make sure all the logistics are ready for your first day. I also found it helpful to go in for a face-to-face meeting. Speaking with your replacement and your co-workers and getting a feel for what you’ve missed over the last months helps you get back into a work frame of mind. There are some things you just can’t find out as easily through email or phone calls.
When you do return you will likely feel a little bit out of the loop. If nothing else you’ve changed a lot now that you have a baby at home. And that’s OK. Nobody expects you to dive back in as if you’d never left. If it takes you a few weeks to get completely up to speed it’s understandable. Co-workers who have kids themselves will be particularly understanding.
In fact, one of the most interesting parts of returning to work post-baby for me was becoming part of the office parents’ club. People who I shared little in common with before became friends. We traded stories about our kids and commiserated about lack of sleep and shared parenting advice. It was like a whole other side of the office dynamic that I’d been left out of. I remember being in a meeting one day when a childless co-worker suggested that if you were facing too many interruptions in the office you should work from home. All the parents in the room just burst out laughing. Our homes had long since ceased being some sort of oasis of tranquility with the kids and the toys and Dora blaring from the TV.
During my early days at work I felt as if I were constantly pulled in two directions. I feared I wasn’t being a good mother or a good employee, since they were both such all-consuming parts of my life. That did get better, and the feeling abated as Hannah got older. You might need to re-frame your expectations about work and parenthood when you’re doing both. It is a lot for any one person to take on. The good news, though, is that it was mostly my own feelings at play. My co-workers and my family were OK, I just had to come to terms with it myself.
I think that returning to work is like a lot of life events. You can’t really picture how it’s going to work out until you do it. Having a baby was like that for me, as was getting married. Having a second child was definitely like that. But in all those cases I figured it out. I got through the rough early days and found a new equilibrium. Combining work with parenthood is much the same. You may not know how you’ll do it, and then you just … do.
Do you have any tips for easing the transition back to work? Any pitfalls you wished you’d avoided or help you could have used? Please share in the comments.
PS – There’s still lots of time left to sign up for the Carnival of Maternity Leave. I have finished the baby blanket and I am assembling the rest of the maternity leave survival pack that will be awarded to one participant. So please, if you have any thoughts about maternity leave consider writing a post for the carnival, or submitting a guest post to me by August 10. You don’t have to be on maternity leave, or to have even ever had a baby. As long as you have something to say I’d love to have you!
I never went back to work (in an office) but that all sounds very reasonable — especially having no firm expectations, because once you have kids, life is even more bouncy and wobbly than usual. I love the Carnival of Maternity Leave graphic.
Great blog–great tips! Going back to work myself wasn’t too hard, but I only worked part-time at first (thankfully). Harder was my husband going back only three weeks after our first baby was born–but I’ll save that for now…pondering submitting a guest blog for your Carnival.
reading.
not much to say as I didn’t have maternity leave. I agree about finding a good daycare, but from watching my friends go through it that seems to be far and away the hardest thing…finding that right daycare. but that’s a whole other vent, right?
nice post.
Not all offices allow flexible work arrangements, but I worked from home in the early morning, nursed the baby and went in at about 9am, worked in the office, came home a bit early, nursed the baby, and worked some more. Since pumping was kind of a disaster for me, it allowed me to keep nursing the baby 50% for many more months than would have been possible otherwise.
I mention it to my friends who are new moms who often don’t realize that it’s not an all-or-nothing deal – one’s body can adjust to nursing part time.
Hello! Great post! I never realized how important and how much of a great idea it is to start daycare for ur child earlier before going back to work. Did you have trouble in the beginning of daycare with your child being sick? I heard a rumour that when they start daycare, they usually get sick with a flu or cold or diarrhea etc within the first couple of weeks and that you’d have to prepare leaving work or taking time off incase that happens. Is that true? Did that happen to you?
My daughter didn’t get sick all that often when she started daycare, that I can recall. We were still breastfeeding, so maybe that helped?
I definitely know some friends who found that their kids DID pick up everything at daycare. In that case, having an understanding boss is definitely helpful. Anyone who has kids themselves usually gets it, but having a discussion up front about how things will work if your child is sick is a good idea.