Last month I talked about my attempt to implement some routine in my life. My thought was that with a little more structure in my daily life, things would be less chaotic. I wrote down a plan on paper and it looked good. Really, stupendously good.
Here was my plan of attack:
1. Come up with a master list of everything I needed to do all week.
2. Come up with a daily plan of my top priorities for the day.
3. Find ways to smooth daily tasks, like laying out clothes the night before.
4. Establish a daily rhythm, with defined ‘work’ and ‘play’ times.
The first couple of weeks it went really well. And then life threw a wrench into the works. Hannah left daycare. My freelance gigs picked up. Jon’s freelance gigs picked up, and I helped him with that. Any semblance of a routine was lost in the busy, busy, busy-ness of my days.
The reality is that this is probably not the best time to set up a daily routine. I’m in the middle of summer break. In a month Hannah will be in kindergarten, and that will impose order on my days. Right now, it’s a different story. Right now, I want to be able to drop my plans for an impromptu park playdate without worrying too much about what I was ‘supposed’ to be doing.
I am still writing out a weekly list of things to do, and I am still setting aside time to play with my kids every day. But there’s not so much a defined ‘playtime’ as a grabbed opportunity. I’ve decided that there is much that is good in Operation Create Order, but that if I become too caught up in doing it perfectly then I will be missing the point. So I started showering at night again, to make the mornings easier. But I don’t sweat it if it just doesn’t happen one evening, for whatever reason.
From the time I’ve spent working on Operation Create Order, I have developed a better idea of what makes a good routine for my family. Like front-loading playtime, so that the kids are happier to let me work, instead of trying to work and then play. And setting aside larger blocks of time, instead of 1 hour of this, 1 hour of that, 1 hour of the next thing. It’s also important to let the kids in on the plan, so that they know what to expect and they understand why it isn’t movie time now. I will incorporate these lessons when I’m ready to come out of vacation mode.
Flexible structure is a good thing. But it’s the flexibility that’s key. And right now, for me, that means having the flexibility to enjoy summer, without sweating too much over my to-do list. Sometimes, you need to throw your to-do list out the window. Don’t you think?
Are there times of the year that you find it harder to follow a daily rhythm? And do you even like a daily rhythm? Tell me all about it.
PS – Speaking of coming out of vacation mode, I talked with registered dietitian Gloria Tsang from HealthCastle.com about school lunches over at 5 Minutes for Mom. Check out Back-to-School Lunchbox.
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Oooh, I like your point about play-time first then focusing on work. I'm going to try that one. I've been trying the other way around and it's not working.
Being a working mom, I pretty much enjoy any non routine stuff. There is stuff that just has to get done everyday before I leave for work including letting out the dog, making sure she has fresh water, getting myself and the kids up, fed, brushed and dressed before 8 am and making sure I have a lunch. Sometimes I put their clothes out the night before and sometimes that doesn’t happen. And when I get home it’s walk the dog, feed the dog, feed the family, have some play time, baths, laundry etc. On the weekends I try not to overschedule us and we certainly don’t do anything before noon if I can help it so I can get in some good quality time with the family. We always make a big breakfast and usually watch fishing shows with my husband..lol. So on a daily basis I make lists for the stuff that comes outside of the routine stuff. Lists are my friend!
Tanya’s last post … Parenting a three year old
What perfect timing. The chaos is killing me right now. I have at-home-work, my husband is renoing his brother’s new chiropractic practice (say that 10 times really fast), I have visitors coming, I’m going back to work part-time, we have to dedicated or scheduled childcare…. Help! I need Operation Create Order!
Twitter: pomomama
says:
schedule is definitely my friend too. as a “working mum” (are there such things as non-working mums? – discuss) i too need to decide what gets done during the week, portioning off time for projects to suit the resources available e.g. tasks requiring heavy concentration get done when wee guy is at school or out of the house, light crafting/business stuff can be done ‘alongside’ playtime, ‘fun’(?) domestic stuff like grocery shopping can be done as an expedition out with the wee guy (and rewarded for both with a cookie, coffee or whatever), and so on.
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so i have a to-do list for house, home, volunteering and business; i have a weekly flow sheet with appointments, after school activities, meetings etc labelled, into which i time slot allocated projects. i’m much more efficient with a daily rhythm though it screams “lack of spontaneity”
but the summer!!! it all goes to the wall. i practise flexibility and downscale my work expectations, hence seriously empty website, untidy/dirty house and breakfast in PJs at noon!
roll on the start of school
pomomama aka ebbandflo’s last post … friday forte- happy and content
Good point re: non-working mums! I just want to clairify to mean that I have to be outside of the house by a certain time to be at work.
Tanya’s last post … Parenting a three year old
We will find ourselves in chaos, create a routine, feel pretty good for a few weeks and then our regularly scheduled unscheduledness will take over. Right now I’m trying to keep some kinds of rhythm going no matter what–like K’s bedtime. Our sanity depends on it.
The routine is something I’m working pretty hard on right now, too. My son is 2.5months old and I’d really love him to nap for more than 20 minutes at a time during the day! Once that happens, maybe I can actually get some of the housework and cooking done during the day! So we’re trying lots of things to get into some kind of order around here. But flexibility is definitely key, I think, no matter the age of your children–they don’t follow the clock! =)
Amy’s last post … Child-Led Weaning
Fall, winter and spring are routine, and busy enough for us. Summer time is a time of doing whatever and just letting it all happen without forcing anything. Our night time routine has been tossed long ago. An upside to this is children who sleep in later than I do all of a sudde. I am enjoying my 9:30 rises this summer. Soon enough it will be back to 6:45 wake up calls.
I think our summer time routine is is structured around play, fun, eating, washing and being together. It will happen when it happens or it won’t, and that’s not the end of the world. We have been working on a more reasonable bed time since the start of August. It is a slow and steady process that was thrown right off the rails after our holidays last weekend. But, I still have time before school starts to get them back into that routine again.
Heather’s last post … Endless Summer
Twitter: bitterindigo
says:
I’m a non-working mom
. I think it does make a difference when you don’t have to be at an office for a specific time. Summer, because I don’t work outside the home, is rather blissful — I love having the kids around and our routine being more unstructured. I have sleep issues so I’ve never been the greatest at following a set routine (other than the obvious sleeping/eating needs of the kids when they were little). Sometimes I think we need more of a routine. Then I lie down with a book and the feeling goes away.
allison’s last post … I Cant Go On- Ill Go On
I tried this too. You lasted longer than I did. I feel like I need structure and so do the kids but I just can’t make myself stick to it. Maybe once school starts …
Twitter: fuoriborgo
says:
I really enjoyed reading the discussion above. I believe I’m genetically and culturally unable to make to-do lists, menu plans or schedules. That doesn’t mean that I don’t set an alarm clock in the morning, or that we don’t pencil our appointments down on a calendar or get things done. And sometimes we do need to sit down and work out a schedule. It just means that to envision my days pre-organized so methodically would make me wilt.
Francesca’s last post … Comfort food for ants
Twitter: kellynaturally
says:
We’re on summer vacation now too – so I’m back to being a work at home mom for a few days a week while our nanny is here. Once she leaves… well… in order to maintain sanity (my own & kids) I NEED some kind of a list – even if it just lists the games we want to play throughout the day. Though, sometimes we throw plans out the window & just hop on the train to Philly & walk around the city with my kids for 8 hours. (yep we did that yesterday).
kelly @kellynaturally’s last post … Nightwaking and Nightweaning
Twitter: Wendy_Irene
says:
Front-loading playtime is my favorite way to do it! It also makes me feel less guilty.
Wendy Irene’s last post … Fast Food Tastes Better At Home
I realize last week that I’ve done like NOTHING “educational” with Kieran this summer. I used to be so good about finding fun activities for him, and I just gave it up for the hot months. Not planning educational things also meant that I stopped planning meals and other tasks. I was doing SO good this winter/spring. Now? Total chaos. I need to get back in the organizational mode – it makes me feel more settled.
Dionna @ Code Name: Mama’s last post … When Toddlers Pick Up Adult Phrases- Part 2
Twitter: MarilynBelsham
says:
I’ve pretty much bailed on all of my schedules again. It’s a mess over here. I’m a mess in a my mind. I have no idea what’s going on half the time, and I’m thinking about going back to school which is a laugh because I can’t imagine how that would fit in. I don’t think my lack of scheduling has to do with summer so much as there is too much to schedule and so I just don’t.
Marilyn (A Lot of Loves)’s last post … Remembering Why I Love Being a Mother
We don’t really have a daily rhythm but we do keep a weekly one. Monday is always laundry day and my MIL comes for a few hours to see the kids. Tuesdays we meet friends at a park. Thursdays we go to an indoor play space nearby. Course this will all change when my son starts preschool in two weeks for three days a week. Then that will anchor our weeks. I guess our days are also punctuated by when my little one takes naps but otherwise we have no real plan other than eating. Summer is the time to not have a plan though, I’m enjoying it.
AmberDusick’s last post … letting children act their age
Oh the agony of the routine! They say with ADHD kids routines are a good strategy, but I have NOT found that to be the case, especially in the hot months. My boys and I start with good intentions (daily to-do lists and a list of goals to accomplish before September) but it seems to go belly up after the first camping trip every single year.
I have tried routines on my own for my own mental health too, but a freelance stay-home-mom seems to be forever pitted against the unexpected! And therefore thrown off the routine.
My only solution to this dilema is having a master list… it seems to work for me.
#1 Things with deadlines
#2 Things without deadlines that HAVE to be done
#3 Things without deadlines that I WANT to do!
I mix it up a bit to keep everyone happy, but when my time is tight it pretty much goes in that order.
My random life is fun right now, so though I may not be accomplishing everything that I think I should (like summerschool-type things with the boys) we are still keeping busy and having fun
*pol’s last post … Time Flies
Twitter: torturedpotato
says:
I live by my to-do lists. Always have, even when I was in admin, I wrote down “coffee break” and then happily ticked it off to get that happy ticked off feeling. I recently decided to start doing a menu plan because I want to save my mental energy from day to day for stuff for me, not for an hour pondering what we should eat, gathering ingredients, etc. That’s what the structure is about for me; conserving as much time for myself as possible, while getting everyone else what they need.
We have a loose routine that goes: breakfast, movie, shower (me), out somewhere to play, lunch, naps/quiet time, playtime, supper prep (another movie), supper, toys away, bath, bed. Any more structured than that and I think I would be micromanaging feral cats. No thanks. But because of this, I can’t imagine adding anything else to my day (freelance or part time work, etc.) except maybe a babysitter.
I’m looking forward to having some routine back in our lives when school starts. Especially since I will be working out of the home and homeschooling – eegads! For now, I am trying to be okay with the fact that there is not much routine going on and it’s summer time so that’s okay.
Yeah, I’m going through the same thing. I’m looking forward to my daughter starting Kindergarten in the fall so that we have some sort of structure to our days, but at the same time, ACK! I want to make this time last forever!
Betsy’s last post … World Breastfeeding Week
Twitter: ladymrules
says:
The “play before work” doesn’t seem natural (after the lifetime of indoctrination otherwise), but it really makes sense with kids. Weekends go so much better when we do a big outing in the morning, and then everyone can chill more afterwards. Of course, that means I have to get my act together in the morning, but that’s another story.
Lady M’s last post … Tragedy Strikes at IKEA
I love the ideas of routines. But implementing them is so hard. I did get a good morning routine down thanks to Fly Lady. That really helped change my life. If I could just get a bit more routine it would only help!
Sheridan – Enjoy Birth’s last post … Three Types of Care Provider Relationships
I love making lists. I love getting special list-making notebooks and pads of paper, and special list-making pens. And the Kid and I had a pretty solid routine. Unless his Dad was unexpectedly off work for TWO MONTHS after getting hurt at work. Absolutely everything went out the window. All of a sudden we had 7 days of weekend. Which Dad thought meant do nothing all day. NO. Anyway, he returned to work about three weeks ago and the Kid’s still adjusting – sigh. Oh well, I still have my lists – they’re just not getting done.
Hamma’s last post … ABCs and 123s