Comments on: Saying Goodbye

By: Laura

Laura — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 03:06:37 +0000

I think you feel particular sting because you had been there for so long yet had no say in when you decided to close the chapter. And for you to be laid off right after maternity leave? Here in the US, I wouldn’t be surprised if women sued over less.

I was laid off from one of my first jobs—at the time I was working for Ernst & Young (the huge accounting firm), and they closed my location less than 3 months after I took the job. I will never forget the coldness in which it was executed—we worked flextime, but we were told on Friday to report to work on Monday all at the same time “because the security system was being changed.” When we arrived, chairs were set up in the lobby of the building, and security banned us from entering the office. A couple mid-management types from New York had come down to give us the news. One employee stood up and said, “My wife is 7 months’ pregnant, and this is how you’re telling me I’m now unemployed?” The response: “Don’t go and jump off a bridge or anything, it’s not the end of the world.” The coldest, harshest words she could have uttered at that moment. Yet, somehow, she did have a point. I walked out the door with nothing but my purse and a guarantee of three month’s severance, and I took a temp job the very next day just to keep my mind occupied.
I think you have the right attitude though..make peace, and view this as an opportunity to take your life in a new direction. You will find a way to stay in touch with the people from your past who matter to you, and you’re being given a chance to join a new group of people that will become your “working family.” Some will fill voids, some will undoubtedly test your patience, and still others will bring you fresh perspectives. I wish you the best, and I look forward to reading your updates!

By: Brie

Brie — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 17:29:25 +0000

That sounds rough. It is hard enough sometimes when we choose to end things, but harder when they are chosen for us. I used to have trouble with endings. Now I try to think of it as a beginning.
I am looking forward to seeing what you begin.

By: Lady M

Lady M — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 09:46:08 +0000

Everyone above has such good advice. I’ll just second the one about getting connected to your former co-workers via LinkedIn or another application. Even if you want to change fields, it’s amazing what a wide network of friends will hear, so it’s nice to get that set up now.

I hope you feel some closure soon. Big changes can be so unsettling, especially when one didn’t initiate them.

By: Allison

Allison — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 01:53:20 +0000

That is kind of nice of the company (although I agree it was the least they could do) to give you an opportunity for good-byes and closure (I recognize the value of closure even though I’m really starting to loathe the word). It would have felt weird to just never see anyone again, since you were on leave when you got laid off. I have a terrible time with good-byes too (I think this is why I sometimes find myself staring late at night into the mournful eyes of a tiny plastic monster thinking STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT BECAUSE I REALLY WANT TO THROW YOU OUT INSTEAD OF STICKING YOU BACK INTO A BOX FULL OF TINY PLASTIC CRAP. But maybe that’s just me). You deserve a bit of wallowing time, if you want it.

By: Emily

Emily — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 01:44:55 +0000

Its hard but I think you have a great attitude. Its important to remember that you are not your job (which is hard when you actually like your job) but also to be honest with yourself about the experience. If you had decided to leave would you feel the same way about the experience or the people. Try not to romanticize things. And also stay in touch with those people you really do like – the best thing I’ve ever taken from a job is a friendship!

By: Maria @BOREDmommy

Maria @BOREDmommy — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 00:26:44 +0000

I don’t have any words of wisdom, but I think you have a great attitude about the whole thing, and that is definitely going to help you in the end. Good luck on your next venture!!

Maria @BOREDmommy

By: Heather

Heather — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 00:26:13 +0000

It is very hard when you identify a major part of who you are as a working women. To have that removed from your personal resume without your conset would make it anyone feel the way you do. But, who’s to say you can’t keep in contact with your co-workers. I met Leanne just before I got pregnant with Emma…so we only worked together for a little less than 9 months…but she is still one of my closest friends today. Before she was on her own mat leave I would take the kids to the office and her and I would go out for lunch still. I don’t know many of the people who haunt the hall of my old work anymore, and they certainly don’t recognise my face, but I still have friends there and I still love to hear all the juicy tales from the trenches…and am just so happy that I don’t have to be a part of them anymore.

I think that as you find your grove in this new adventure you will start to feel better about leaving the old one. It takes time. Grief and loss don’t heal overnight. Cut yourself some slack and keep reminding yourself just how wonderful you are and what an amazing adventure you will now embark on…remember, when God closes a door, he opens a window!

By: James Strocel

James Strocel — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 21:56:02 +0000

Being in IT, I’m no stranger to the pink slip myself. One time I was laid off just in time to attend the saddest office Christmas party ever. Since prank-calling the new regime is out of the question in this case, let me recommend a book called “We Got Fired!: . . . And It’s the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Us” by Harvey Mackay. It contains anecdotes from people who lost jobs like Muhammed Ali and Larry King.

In this day in age, to be working anywhere for a decade is a real gift. If you keep in touch with your former co-workers through facebook or linkedin, they’ll remain a valuable resource for the rest of your career. The skills you gained with your job remain with you and help you learn new ones. You’ll find that in the end, it’s all just business.

By: Amber

Amber — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 20:46:00 +0000

Thanks so much, you guys. Your very kind words and support really mean a lot to me.

By: Mike

Mike — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:09:43 +0000

I’ll send you a newspaper column I wrote a few years ago that talked about losing a job. Always keep in mind that you are not your job and your job title doesn’t define who you are as a person.