Happy Halloween! In honour of the holiday, I thought I’d take a walk on the spooky side. I’m not a fan of horror movies, but there is plenty of scary stuff in the life of a parent. There are some words, for instance, that may not have been at all alarming pre-kids. But now that we have children, these phrases will cause most of us to break out into a cold sweat. Today, I have gathered some of those words here, and the resulting post is not for the faint of heart. Read on … if you dare.
The Scariest Words a Parent Can Hear
- Honey, my work is sending me out of town for three weeks.
- Double extra bonus points – The work trip overlaps Junior’s birthday party, so I won’t be able to help out.
- Time to go for a swim, telephone. Cue sound of flushing toilet.
- Dry clean only.
- Here, baby brother, let me give you haircut.
- Daddy, Daddy, I found the permanent markers! (Thanks for the inspiration.)
- No public restrooms.
- Oh, Mom, I forgot to tell you, I need to bring cookies to school tomorrow. They can’t contain nuts, dairy, soy, eggs or sugar.
- Mom, do you really like that blue dress? Yes, I do. Why do you ask? Um … nothing.
- Overseas flight.
- Oops, that wasn’t just a fart.
- Upon answering the door. Hi, I’m your neighbour. I thought you might want to know that your three-year-old is running naked down the street.
- Daylight savings time.
- Here, doggy, have some of my chocolate.
- Some assembly required.
- We are out of wine.
What words strike fear into your parental heart?