Tomorrow is Mother’s Day. It isn’t my favourite holiday, even though I am a mother. It feels very full of obligation and guilt. Very full of images of perfect mothers and their perfectly grateful offspring. It’s lovely, in its own way, but it’s so far outside of my definition of real life that I have a hard time swallowing it.
Here are scenes from my real life. This, my friends, is what motherhood looks like to me.
Instead of milk from the jug for my breakfast cereal, I use the leftovers my kid left in the fridge
While I eat the cereal I wear a too small pirate hat at my toddler’s insistence
I never want for company, which is actually quite lovely in its way
I make my kid carry her coat when she refuses to wear it so I don’t appear neglectful
There is kid debris on the kitchen floor
There is even more kid debris on the table
There are tiny finger holes in the butter
And then, for 3 minutes, there is blissful quiet and a lovely cup of tea
Motherhood is the best thing I’ve ever done, no doubt about it. And I am glad that we set aside a day to recognize that. But let’s ditch the poetry and the flowers and the guilt. What do you say?
Happy Mother’s Day to my fellow mothers! I hope it’s a good one, and that you too find a moment of quiet bliss.
amberstrocel
amberstrocel
amberstrocel
amberstrocel
amberstrocel
amberstrocel
amberstrocel
amberstrocel
Kid debris everywhere around here
I am with you on the kid debris, fingers in the butter and the wearing of silly hats to placate the small ones.
LOVE IT AMBER! You know I alwasy find that I spend my mothers day thining about MY mum ( not me?????) I am so thankful for her and everythign she does for us. I hope that one day my kids feel the same way about me! =)
Great post, Amber. Here's to ditching the guilt and contrived sentiment that surrounds Mothers Day. (And personally, I choose to believe that omnipresent "kid debris" is a sign of good parenting!)
Twitter: fuoriborgo
says:
Happy mother’s day Amber! “Kid debris” is going to be my absolute favorite phrase this weekend. Pity I don’t have any in my house:)
.-= Francesca´s last post ..Rich soil =-.
Twitter: Miss_Scarlett99
says:
I agree! No more poetry, just a day at the spa with no kids would be LOVELY!
.-= Carrie´s last post ..Momma likes technology =-.
Happy Mother’s Day to you! Love the photos of motherhood – you could have been taking them at my house! The finger holes in the butter and leftover milk in colourful plastic cups are common sights around here.
.-= Holly´s last post ..First attempt at fabric cards =-.
Amen to that. Hope you have a nice cup of tea and more than a moment of bliss.
.-= Tepary´s last post ..Prickly Topics =-.
Twitter: pomomama
says:
Happy Mother’s Day – you hit the nail on the head.
Last year Wee Guy and I had lunch out by ourselves cos DH was away on business – it was lovely. I’d like to repeat it this year but DH looked aghast when I suggested it so I guess I’m getting the “family day with all the trimmings” …. expect more rants over on my blog!
Happy Mother’s Day to all!
My mother hates Mother’s Day, which she calls a “Hallmark Holiday” and likens to Valentine’s Day. She says, if you don’t get anything for Mother’s Day, you feel totally gross, and if you DO get something for Mother’s Day, you still don’t feel that amazing, because it was obviously an OBLIGATION and they felt like they HAD to do it. So she’d rather get nothing, and hopes for more spontaneous shows of affection. It’s a bit early for me to commit to this approach, given that my baby is only now one, but I gotta say, she’s got a point! Show your mother that you care frequently, right? – that’s the ticket.
.-= Inder´s last post ..Urban Homestead reading. =-.
Twitter: bluebirdmama
says:
oh good lord, the butter!!! What is with kids and butter?
Love seeing that really, most kids and most mothers are pretty much the same. Nice post Amber.
.-= BluebirdMama aka @childbearing´s last post ..Stages of Motherhood =-.
Very real! I don’t have kid debris yet, but my husband more than makes up for it. I’m eyeing a pile of dirty socks in the living room, that I specifically asked him to pick up before he left this morning!
.-= abbie´s last post ..In the Garden: Still Preparing! =-.
Twitter: bitterindigo
says:
I agree with you in principle, although I don’t suffer much from the negative aspects. The part of our family that creates drama is too far away, the part that is close is fun to be with and makes the day enjoyable. And the finger holes in the butter are really cute.
.-= allison´s last post ..********************Uglification and Derision: Outrage, Part 1 =-.
This might be my favorite mother’s day post this year! totally got a good laugh out of the breakfast pics and pirate hat!
I like MOther’s Day and there is never much poetry in mine–just a little reflection and maybe some flowers which look nice on the table. Then they ask me what I want to do. So all good by me!
I think I spent last MOther’s Day in the laundromat and since I was alone I considered it quite luxurious! lol.
Agree! Even though it’s my first, I really just want to go to the beach or go for a walk with my two main dudes.
.-= harriet Fancott´s last post ..Angels Cradle: drop off or safe haven? =-.
This post is exactly why I love you and your blog.
I feel really weird about mother’s day this year… it’s my first mother’s day since my husband and I broke up – and as much as I love being the mother of my children (of course!), I also loved being celebrated as the “mother of his children.” So there won’t be breakfast in bed, sleeping in, him cleaning out and washing my car, and there won’t be cards he helped the kids make and a gift he bought. Instead it will be business as usual in my new role as single mom… I will take the kids to church, stand there alone worshipping through my tears while my kiddos are in Sunday school. And then, as a special activity, we are going to eat a packed lunch in the car or a park if it’s warm enough, and then go to a children’s museum to see a dinosaur exhibit. They will love it…
.-= Missy´s last post ..Giftcard winner – with a twist! =-.
I agree, it is pretty awkward, especially now that I am a mom. It reminds me of an episode of Roseanne (that I watched back when we had cable) in which her daughters took her to the spa and were super nice to her and it made her so happy until she found out they really just wanted to talk her into letting them go to a concert, and then she was so crushed. I would be totally cool with never celebrating any holiday with gifts, I think. It always seems to result in me either holding the perfect gift for too long while we wait for the next appropriate occasion, or scrounging around and getting anxious about finding a decent gift for someone who is impossible to buy for. I wish everyone would just give gifts spontaneously whenever they felt like it, because then we would know they were heartfelt. Seems like there is always one important day or another I’m forgetting to celebrate and feeling bad about.
.-= Jenny´s last post ..So I finally went to the chiropractor and… =-.
Yes. Happy Mother’s Day!
Steph
Twitter: ladymrules
says:
Happy Mother’s Day to you!
Are those IKEA cups in that first picture? I think we have the same ones. I just got back home from Scandinavia, after what felt like spending an entire week in IKEA.
.-= Lady M´s last post ..This One’s For My Dad =-.
Twitter: BirthingKristen
says:
I just love this! In fact, I think that this sort of idea would make a perfect scrapbook page for me…:-)
Happy belated Mother’s Day to you and all of your mama-readers!
.-= Kristen´s last post ..Bettering the Birth Experience: A Little Goes a Long Way =-.
Ha! I also drink my son’s leftover milk … and eat his left over breakfast cereal, and those little corners of crusty toast, and the vegetables he wont eat (at least the ones that don’t wind up on the floor). I hate to see food go to waste, but I think all this leftover clean-up is going straight to my waist!
.-= Sarah´s last post ..The Lawnmower Man =-.
Loved this post. So refreshing. I agree let’s revel in all the real, dirty bits because that’s really what makes us moms.
P.S. Congrats on being selected on of the 50 bloggers for Canadian Family. A well-deserved honour. So pleased for you!
.-= Christine LaRocque´s last post ..Courage =-.
Love this! Especially love the pic with the pirate hat. Aye aye!
Congrats on the Canadian Family top 50 bloggers!
Oh and happy belated mother’s day
.-= Cheryl @ Mommy Quit´s last post ..Joe Fresh – Save $10 when you spend $50+ =-.