It’s Mat Leave Monday! Today I’m talking about taking your second (or third, or more) maternity leave.
When you already have a little one at home, your leave will not be the same as it was with your first. You have divided attention in a way that you did not before. You can’t always get out of the house as easily, or participate in all the same baby groups. In speaking with new moms of two I’ve dicovered that this was a big transition for all of us – maybe bigger than when we had our first baby.
The most significant issue that I’ve faced with this mat leave is what to do with the big kid. So we decided to keep Hannah enrolled in daycare. It keeps her in her routine and she likes it there. She’s getting a chance to participate in age-appropriate and enriching activities that I may not have time for (sand table, anyone?). Plus, if I withdrew Hannah we would lose our spot. After our struggle to locate this great place I don’t want to subject my kid to more upheaval.
Keeping Hannah in daycare works for me as well. I get to have time alone with Jacob 3 days a week. We can do mom-and-baby classes, I can go grocery shopping while he sleeps in his sling, and I can go out for long walks that Hannah couldn’t handle. If I didn’t have child care, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy Jacob as much, and I would definitely face more of a struggle to keep myself healthy and sane.
Not everyone can keep their childcare, though. It can be a financial strain to pay daycare fees when your income has decreased substantially. And sometimes your childcare is a family member or your partner, who is not willing or able to watch your child when you are available yourself. You might not be entirely pleased with your current arrangement, or you might not plan on returning to work. Then what?
Most moms that I know continue their activities with their older children, packing their baby along. You see them breastfeeding beside the pool during swimming lessons, rocking a carseat while they read their older children library books, or sporting a sling at the playground. This is what I do on the days that I am alone with both kids. I do puzzles one-handed, I nurse Jacob and watch Hannah dance, I walk my baby on the sidelines at Tumbletots.
The other thing that I’ve found with a new baby is that the support of family and friends is critical. Jon puts Hannah to bed almost every night now – he never did before Jacob came along. Hannah goes on sleepovers to her grandparents, and has a grand time. Her Grannie is teaching her to swim, her Nan takes her on outings, and she goes on playdates at her friend’s house. Sometimes I feel sad that I can no longer be the sole and primary person in her life, but mostly I’m just glad that Hannah has all of these people who care for her.
More and more, I am enjoying this new role as mama to two. And I anticipate that the balancing act will get easier as Jacob gets older. It sideswipes you at first, that’ s for sure, but it’s great. I wouldn’t change it for the world. 
As an aside, I wanted to mention that I created a new page for the Mat Leave Monday series. You can find it under ‘Maternity Leave’ in the menu at the top left.
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