It’s Thursday, so I’m Crafting my Life! For 2011, I have ditched the themes and link-ups. Instead, I am just going to write what I’m thinking about this week. And if you would like to chime in and contribute a guest post about your own journey, please drop me a line and we’ll chat.
Someday, I am going to do lots of things.
… I am going to read all of the books and magazines and bookmarked articles I’ve been meaning to read.
… I am going to take pottery classes and learn how to use a pottery wheel. Perhaps I will even re-enact that scene from “Ghost” … someday.
… I will have my own flock of laying hens, and fruit trees in my back yard. It won’t be in this house, but some other house that I will buy. You know, someday.
… I will paint the living room a different colour, fix the dings in the walls, clean the carpets and re-grout the tub enclosure.
… I will travel. I will visit Europe, Australia and maybe even Africa.
… I will write a book. In the meantime, I will collect stories.
… I will get a really good camera and learn how to take really good pictures.
… I will do all that knitting and sewing that I always mean to do, but never quite get around to.
… I will decide what to do with my wedding dress. It’s been in a box somewhere in my house for almost 10 years. Is it just clutter now, or do I really need it?
I have grand plans and the best of intentions. There’s so much that I want to do, that I’m not able to find space in my life for it all. At least not all right now. So it gets pushed off. I accumulate recipes and knitting patterns and reading material. I promise myself that I’ll get around to it all, even if I don’t know when. I just trust that it will happen someday.
The problem is that all of my plans for someday take up a lot of space in my life today. Some of it takes up literal space, like the books and the fabric and the yarn. Some of it takes up mental space, like thinking about what to do with my wedding dress and contemplating how I will fit pottery into my life. And some of it takes up emotional space, like my wistfulness that I can’t have chickens right now. But it really all ads up to the same thing – plans to live my life someday.
What if someday never comes? Or, what if it comes, and I’m too busy planning for the next someday? I don’t want that to happen.
I am tired of tripping over piles of vague plans and half-wishes. If I really wanted to read those books, or finish those projects, or knit that sweater, I would be doing it. I usually manage to find time for the things that I really want to do, or that are really important to me. I cook every day, I watch TV shows I really want to see, I undertake projects that really speak to me enough to do them immediately.
If I put something off until some elusive someday, I guess that what I’m really saying is that it doesn’t really matter to me. And so, I don’t have to feel obligated to keep it – whether “it” is a thing, or an idea, or an intention. If I really can’t let it go, it’s a sign that I need to do it today, or at least at some defined point in the future. This is where I am with my book – I’ve decided that April shall be The Month of The Book Proposal. Which isn’t exactly a SMART goal, it’s more of a loose timeline. A message to myself that this is important, so I can’t just put it off until someday arrives.
As it is, today I am busy enough already. I have children to play with and an online course to run and writing to do and a kitchen that probably needs cleaning. I just can’t afford to waste today worrying about someday.
What about you? Do you have lists of things that you mean to do someday? And do you find that liberating or confining? I’d love to hear!