It’s Thursday, so I’m Crafting my Life! For 2011, I have ditched the themes and link-ups. Instead, I am just going to write what I’m thinking about this week. And if you would like to chime in and contribute a guest post about your own journey, please drop me a line and we’ll chat.
Someday, I am going to do lots of things.
… I am going to read all of the books and magazines and bookmarked articles I’ve been meaning to read.
… I am going to take pottery classes and learn how to use a pottery wheel. Perhaps I will even re-enact that scene from “Ghost” … someday.
… I will have my own flock of laying hens, and fruit trees in my back yard. It won’t be in this house, but some other house that I will buy. You know, someday.
… I will paint the living room a different colour, fix the dings in the walls, clean the carpets and re-grout the tub enclosure.
… I will travel. I will visit Europe, Australia and maybe even Africa.
… I will write a book. In the meantime, I will collect stories.
… I will get a really good camera and learn how to take really good pictures.
… I will do all that knitting and sewing that I always mean to do, but never quite get around to.
… I will decide what to do with my wedding dress. It’s been in a box somewhere in my house for almost 10 years. Is it just clutter now, or do I really need it?
I have grand plans and the best of intentions. There’s so much that I want to do, that I’m not able to find space in my life for it all. At least not all right now. So it gets pushed off. I accumulate recipes and knitting patterns and reading material. I promise myself that I’ll get around to it all, even if I don’t know when. I just trust that it will happen someday.
The problem is that all of my plans for someday take up a lot of space in my life today. Some of it takes up literal space, like the books and the fabric and the yarn. Some of it takes up mental space, like thinking about what to do with my wedding dress and contemplating how I will fit pottery into my life. And some of it takes up emotional space, like my wistfulness that I can’t have chickens right now. But it really all ads up to the same thing – plans to live my life someday.
What if someday never comes? Or, what if it comes, and I’m too busy planning for the next someday? I don’t want that to happen.
I am tired of tripping over piles of vague plans and half-wishes. If I really wanted to read those books, or finish those projects, or knit that sweater, I would be doing it. I usually manage to find time for the things that I really want to do, or that are really important to me. I cook every day, I watch TV shows I really want to see, I undertake projects that really speak to me enough to do them immediately.
If I put something off until some elusive someday, I guess that what I’m really saying is that it doesn’t really matter to me. And so, I don’t have to feel obligated to keep it – whether “it” is a thing, or an idea, or an intention. If I really can’t let it go, it’s a sign that I need to do it today, or at least at some defined point in the future. This is where I am with my book – I’ve decided that April shall be The Month of The Book Proposal. Which isn’t exactly a SMART goal, it’s more of a loose timeline. A message to myself that this is important, so I can’t just put it off until someday arrives.
As it is, today I am busy enough already. I have children to play with and an online course to run and writing to do and a kitchen that probably needs cleaning. I just can’t afford to waste today worrying about someday.
What about you? Do you have lists of things that you mean to do someday? And do you find that liberating or confining? I’d love to hear!
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Someday I will go on a tropical vacation.
Someday I will work in a restaurant or hotel, just because I’ve always been interested in doing that.
Someday I will to learn to downhill ski.
Someday I will buy nice furniture to replace my old furniture.
Someday I will suck it up and take a 5 day camping trip because I love camping but usually get sick of it after the third day.
Someday I will have solar panel’s on my house.
Someday I will own a tiller so I can make a bigger garden in my backyard.
Someday…..
Tanya’s last post … If you need me- Ill be in the kitchen
Twitter: pomomama
says:
I still write down my “someday” plans otherwise I forget all about them, and nowadays the odd moment does turn up now and then.
However, I do agree with something I read a few years ago – the weight of projects to do but never get round to and are put off and not dealt with can actually hold a person back from the important plans. They can indeed hold back progress just by being there at the back of the mind/closet/basement – there’s always the temptation to put something off until after x,y and z lurking in the projects to-do list are completed.
ruthless decluttering extends to postponed projects (in theory)
pomomama’s last post … wordless wednesday- with words
More like piles.
I have to do “someday” piles all over the house. They are terrible.
Keep your wedding dress, though. I mean, yeah, of course you’re not going to get rid of it in the first year of marraige, that would be bad luck, and so since you’ve had it for a decade already, you might as well hang on to it. A decade is a terrible age for an article of clothing to be — it’s such an awkward age for a dress. But you’ll love it in another decade or two. Your daughter will love it.
My mom sewed baptismal dresses for her kids out of hers and I used to feel so reverently about them when I was 10-ish. I wish she saved them for my babies. Except that I’m an atheist. And they’d probably be so yellow.
I dunno. My puppy ate a couple layers of tulle on mine, but I’m not throwing that out. With all the clutter in my house, seems like a very inauspicious place to start de-cluttering.
Twitter: kellynaturally
says:
I do have someday stuff & piles & plans.
Some of it, I actively think on, project to the universe, if you will – because I believe what you MOST want & need will manifest.
But some of it – particularly the piles or boxes of things that I bought or stored with good intention of getting to “someday” when I have the time or space (we are still in a small condo, which feels like its getting smaller by the day) – makes me feel a little claustrophobic when I see it.
But I’ve thrown things out before and then felt pangs of regret, when I’ve HAD some open time or mind space. Of course, I’ve also thrown things out or given them away and felt quite liberated & good about my choices.
In general? I try to remember a few things:
1) I can only work effectively in a space that is clean and organized. And when I say work, I mean the work of mothering too. I can’t focus on my kids when I feel my kitchen sink is in danger of spilling over on to the floor. So if that means spend 15 minutes before bed (when I’d rather be reading) to clean the sink so that when I get home from work I can just sit down & enjoy my kids – then that’s what I do).
2) I feel better in general when I feel good about the things around me. If EVERY TIME I pass by a pile of papers & mutter to myself about “got to go through that”, then I have to just STOP. AND. FIX IT. Otherwise, it’s just negative energy continually popping up – particularly if said pile is in a space I pass by regularly. If there’s something in my house I’ve never QUITE liked, then I get rid of it (it’s taken me a while to get to this point, as my mother was a collector, so throwing things out/giving things away is sometimes a challenge!) – because there’s no use in being surrounded by things that don’t make you happy.
3) What I want and need most will come to me if I allow it. I will find what I need – and that includes time.
4) Having a plan is awesome because it helps keep you hopeful and focused. But it can also be opressive if it is too detailed, specific, or time/date-oriented. I try to keep my lists having more flow and less ends.
kelly @kellynaturally’s last post … Bedtime Stories of Lightness and Darkness – Guest Post
Someday I will speak French fluently.
Someday I will learn to downhill ski.
Someday I will travel again.
And someday I will exercise and clean out my closet…
Ironic Mom’s last post … Pizza- Wine- and Fine Motor Skills
Twitter: BirthingKristen
says:
Some day I will write that elusive book proposal.
Some day I will travel to Europe. With my husband. And my children. (Well, actually, once with the whole family, and then once with Tim-only.)
Some day I will keep my whole house meticulously organized.
Some day I will sit on the couch with a just-brewed latte and read Amber’s book.
Twitter: Apartment_Mama
says:
I have a casual list in my head that I think about. Usually it distracts me from focusing on today and -this- moment, but I still like to dream. When I find myself day dreaming about doing some of the things on my list, I let myself. It is almost an escape and helps meets the needs of the over planning part of my brain.
Mama in the City’s last post … All In A Days Work- Bedtime Rituals With Ben
Twitter: Wendy_Irene
says:
I feel exactly like you. You put it into words perfectly! Have a great day TODAY
Wendy Irene’s last post … Authentic Love
Twitter: MarilynBelsham
says:
Holy cow, you and I have a lot of the same things on our lists. Even the wedding dress thing, which I should probably get on seeing as I was married 13.5 years ago.
Someday, I will really spend some time and create some fantastic crafts and maybe even open an Etsy shop. I’d also like to finish reading my list of 100 million books I want to read. I can’t wait to go back to Europe and take the kids with me (and then maybe go back after that but leave the kids at home).
Marilyn @ A Lot of Loves’s last post … Slappy Fisticuffs
We have a lot of the same goals!
I am itching for some chickens AND furit trees, but this suburban yard is simply too small.
I was just talking to my MIL today that I want to do the drop-in pottery classes on Thursdays (one day).
As for the wedding dress. I lived in a very small cottage when we got married. And the one clothes closet was puny. And I saw it that the dress had “done it’s job” and I had lots of photos of the lacey pearly thing, on me so I consigned it immediately. The proceeds covered the cost of the professional photographer — YAY! And yet I am so sentimental about so many other things… not the wedding dress, not even a little bit. But you have a doaughter, so it could be different, right?
*pol’s last post … When to call it quits
Twitter: bitterindigo
says:
A lot of my someday stuff is identical to yours, but I’m not a hundred percent in agreement about what putting things off for ‘someday’ means. Yes, some of it may never happen, and putting it off means it’s not as important as what I’m doing RIGHT NOW. And yes, some of it I should just buckle down and do (and every now and then I do, and I’m amazed at how little time actually doing it takes), but some of it really will happen someday, when my kids are older and don’t take as much of my time. And I do understand that by putting it off I’m admitting that it might never happen. I said on someone’s blog the other day, about her before-fifty list that she hadn’t completed before turning fifty, that I think it’s more important to HAVE a challenging and exciting to-do life list than to complete one. Blogging was on my someday list, and two years ago I made the leap. Going down a giant water slide face first was NOT on my someday list, but hey, having kids (and wanting to shame them into doing stuff) can make your someday rather surprising some days.
allison’s last post … Funny kids- lazy blog-post
Twitter: AmberStrocel
says:
I definitely agree with the idea that there are some things I will be able to do “someday” that I can’t do now. Having small children limits my options, for sure.
I suppose what it comes down to is whether you feel like your “someday” list is liberating and inspires hope, or if it’s oppressive and guilt-inducing. If you think about all of the things you’re meaning to get around to and feel like a failure because you haven’t (which is often the case with me), then I say ditch them. Or at least ditch the few that are really not necessary and make you feel incompetent for not having already done.
“I am tired of tripping over piles of vague plans and half-wishes.” I loved that sentence and it so often true for me. I do have dreams and plans and wishes, but like you, I sometimes wonder if they are taking away from my pretty awesome now. Thank you for sharing this post.
I used to keep someday lists, but they didn’t work out for me. Like you said, all that planning for someday takes up a lot of space today. For me, it also creates not a list of hopes and dreams but a list of ways I’m still failing. I started to get comfortable instead with the idea that you could tell what I wanted to do with my life by **what I was doing with my life**, not by what I thought I should put on some kind of list. I wrote a post about instead of creating a Bucket List (things to do before you kick the bucket), making a Fuck It List (things you have no desire to ever do, no matter how pretty they are on lists.)
So my someday list? I’d say it like this: Someday I will be doing exactly what I want to be doing in the moment. Just like I’m doing today.
Issa’s last post … How Much Meat From A Pig
I have lists long lists in my head of places to travel to,things to do.I hope I can do them *someday*
Twitter: ladymrules
says:
Someday I will buy furniture and decorate my house!
Lady M’s last post … 100 Days
Someday, you will have the time to do the Someday List…if those things are still important to you. Because I had my children young, most of my friends were travelling around the world and taking on exciting new jobs and projects while I was washing diapers and picking up toys. “Someday I’ll go, too”, I promised myself. “And, when the children are older I’ll have exciting and important work to do.” Those dreams sustained me through some of the more difficult times. And, sure enough, while those friends were finally raising their own families, mine were older and more independent, and we had the time and money to travel. My paid work turned out to be more amazing that I could have dreamed, so Someday was pretty good.
Now I live in my new house by the lake and marvel at my good fortune. But Someday has become precious because some of our dearest contemporaries are experiencing health problems. My oldest friend lies in VGH recovering from brain tumour surgery. I pray she will be OK, but I don’t know for sure. Another very dear friend is in the States in a home for dementia patients near her family. We have lost her as surely as if she had died, and my heart is broken. So we are living in the moment, aware that Someday there will be irreplaceable losses. This awareness has put us in Carpe Diem mode and time with family and friends has become our top priority. Someday brings dream fulfillment but it also demands a price. (My parents surely knew this, but I didn’t.)
As to the wedding dress, I put it away and my daughter, much to my surprise, decided she wanted to wear it on her own wedding day.Seeing her in it was one of the most moving moments of my life. We have had it cleaned and boxed and it is in her closet, just in case HER daughter decides she wants it…but we treat it lightly so there is no pressure.
Someday I’ll have my own blog, but meantime, thanks Amber, for letting me write on yours. xo
During both of my pregnancies I learned to declutter. I got rid of so much stuff, stuff that I liked but didn’t need. I donated a great deal. I still do. Whenever I stop using something and don’t foresee a reason to hold onto it, I let it go.
This has carried over into my life.
When I decided to pour my energy into my photography, I got rid of my sewing equipment, scrapbooking stuff, jewelry making stuff, and even some of my old teaching supplies (which was very hard to do).
But I cleared it out to make room and space in my home and in my mind for my photography dreams and equipment.
That is how I was able to prioritize and make room for what is most important. It really does help!
(though every now and then, I think, where did I put “such and such” and then I remember I donated it, lol)
Twitter: fuoriborgo
says:
My someday list has always inspired hope, but somehow I’ve been feeling old and tired lately, and sometimes sense that my someday may never come.
Francesca’s last post … iPhoneography with EMILY McCANN
We had to make SMART goals in high school and I still like them.
All of my “someday” plans are based upon when I’m thinner or my house is cleaner or I have more money. Stupid, stupid.
Twitter: RachaelNevins
says:
Someday I will go back to Europe. Someday I will learn how to sew. Someday I will be able to read French again, maybe even German. Someday I will go to concerts at Carnegie Hall regularly again.
I don’t have a list of somedays, really. I do have a list of things I’m taking care of now, slowly. So some of my somedays, such as having a clean, orderly, comfortable home or paid work that I’m happy with or a completed manuscript, are somedays that are perhaps far into the future, but somedays that I am making my way toward now. Though (to say it again) slowly.
Rachael’s last post … I Feel Another Poem Coming On!