Strocel.com | Babywearing

The Decline of Babywearing

Amber on December 15, 2009 29 Comments

I have a good-sized babywearing stash. I have mei tais and ring slings and pouch slings. I have woven wraps and soft structured carriers. There are 15 in all, plus a home-made babywearing poncho. My collection is large enough that I can pretty much always find a baby carrier to match both my outfit and the situation.

Whether you have 1 baby carrier or 37, there is an inevitable truth, though. Babywearing does not last forever. No one (that I am aware of) transports their 7-year-old to school on their back in a back wrap cross carry. For one thing, most 7-year-olds exceed the weight limit of your average baby carrier. But even if they didn’t, it would be unwieldy and uncomfortable to carry a larger child for long. Plus, I doubt most kids would want all their friends to see them riding in a baby carrier.

My Hannah is rapidly closing in on her 5th birthday, and is well out of the babywearing phase. She gave it up by her 2nd birthday, and then had a brief renaissance at around 2 1/2. By the time that she was 3 and I was pregnant again babywearing ended altogether. It became extremely cumbersome to wear the carrier in a way that was secure, but accommodated my growing belly. I also wanted a break before the new baby arrived, since I thought that would be easier on Hannah than kicking her out of the sling so I could put her brother in it. The end of babywearing was pretty natural by that point, and we both took it well.

Now Jacob is 16 months old, and I can see that he is at the beginning of the end of babywearing. I still wear him on my back for some naps, but he just doesn’t want to be worn when he’s awake. He would rather be down and running around under his own steam. He’s got too much exploring to do to spend the day literally attached to his mama. More and more he lunges for the ground when he’s in the carrier, or complains when he sees me take it out. He’s got walking to do, man.

I don’t know if I will have any more children. I would give it, at best, even odds. Knowing that this could be the last baby I wear, I feel sad to think that it’s ending. I’m sure Jacob will return to it now and again, but we are undeniably on the road that will lead to its end. This is as it should be, of course. But I am sad all the same, which is maybe also as it should be. There is a lot of sadness in motherhood. Watching your kids move away from you is not an easy process.

I am going to miss the days when I wore Jacob for hours on end. The way he would snuggle up to me and fall asleep almost instantly when he was in a baby carrier. The walks I took when I could go anywhere, because my wee little man was safely nestled against me. Maybe the most of almost any parts of his babyhood, I will miss the babywearing.

How about you? What part of babyhood do you remember most fondly? I want to soak up every last bit I have left, it’s all slipping through my fingers so very fast.

Tagged With: Babywearing

Trying out the Ergo

Amber on October 30, 2009 12 Comments

A few months ago I became the proud owner of a Beco Butterfly II baby carrier. I tried it out, and wore it all over. And while it had many upsides, in the end I preferred my mei tais. The poor Beco never stood a chance.

Recently, though, I got my hands on an Ergo. I have a friend who loves her Ergo, but is expecting a baby any day and she hasn’t had much luck with Ergo’s infant insert, so I loaned her my Beco. In exchange, she lent me her Ergo. And I have been wearing it here, there, and everywhere to see how I like it, and how it compares to the Beco and my beloved mei tais.

Trying out the Ergo on a family outing

So, what’s the verdict?

Here are the things I like about the Ergo:

There are far fewer points of adjustment as compared to the Beco, so I found it much easier to get a good fit.

It can hold a child who weighs up to 40 lbs. It held my 37 lb 4 1/2 year old comfortably and securely.

It doesn’t slip or give at all while you’re wearing it, so you can adjust it once and you’re set.

There is no fabric between you and the baby, so you could conceivably breastfeed in the Ergo.

There aren’t any dangling straps to drag on the ground or get caught in stuff.

I think most dads would be more willing to wear a carrier like this one than, say, a woven wrap.

The Ergo’s built-in sleep hood means that you’re not fumbling to find it and snap it on.

The Ergo is cheaper than the Beco.

Here are the things I don’t like so much:

The Ergo has a built-in sleep hood, which mostly just got in my way and can’t be removed. If you like the hood this wouldn’t be a problem, but I don’t use it and so it irked me.

For some reason I found the chest / back strap really hard to do up when I was wearing the baby on my front, much harder than the Beco.

The Ergo doesn’t have the handy-dandy little strap for easy and compact folding that the Beco does.

I didn’t try the Ergo infant insert, which is sold separately and required to use the Ergo with a baby under 4 months. However, the general consensus among my friends who have is that it’s not that great, and the Ergo is much better with babies 4 months and up.

It is harder to get the baby on your back when using the Ergo, as compared to the Beco.

Now that I’ve tried both the Beco and the Ergo, I am more on the fence than ever. I found the Ergo generally easier to understand and use, but I found the Beco to be a more well-thought-out carrier. If you are going to be using the carrier with a newborn, or if you feel less comfortable with back carries, I would go with the Beco. If you are going to be using the carrier with a slightly older infant or toddler, you like to breastfeed in the carrier, or you just don’t want to spend the extra money, an Ergo may be the way to go.

As for me, in honesty, I am going back to my Kozy. Like I said, I love my mei tais!

PS – I’ve got a new post up today at API Speaks – so head on over and read When Attachment Parenting Speaks for Itself.

Tagged With: Baby Gear, Babywearing, Reviews

Too Big to Carry

Amber on October 13, 2009 24 Comments

Baby Jacob is 14 months old today, and weighs in at around 22 lbs. He’s not even really a baby anymore, but a young toddler who sometimes prefers to walk. Or, you know, toddle. Which I guess is what makes him a toddler, right?

In spite of Jacob’s walking ways, there are many occasions when he still uses me as his primary mode of transportation. But now that he’s not exactly a baby when strangers see him in the baby carrier I get rather a lot of comments. They say something along the lines of, “He must be getting kind of heavy for you to carry that way,” or, “Wow, that must get uncomfortable after a while.”

Actually, I am not uncomfortable. I’m probably much less uncomfortable than I would be if I were chasing my destructo-child around the Starbucks, you know? When he’s really snuggled in close in the mei tai it’s as if he’s holding on. His weight is well-distributed and he’s fine. I suppose if your only carrier were a Baby Bjorn, or maybe even a ring sling, it wouldn’t be that comfortable to wear a 22-pound child for long stretches. But I have options, and I’m not afraid to use them.

It is true that I carry Jacob less these days, mostly because he’s able to move under his own steam in a new way. I do not keep him strapped to me on the playground like I did when he was a newborn, for sure. When we’re at the playground he’s joining in the play. But at the grocery store, or the mall, or sometimes in my own kitchen, I still wear Jacob. And I’m glad to do it. Because while he’s strapped to me, I know that he’s safe and not getting into any trouble, at least for that moment.

I don’t know when Jacob will outgrow babywearing. Hannah stopped wanting to be worn when she was nearing age 2, but then she came back to it a few times. I finally put the kibosh on it when I was pregnant with Jacob and she was 3 years old. Jacob may have some years of babywearing yet, or he may have only a few months. But as long as we’re both willing and able, I’ll keep on using my baby carriers. After all, he’s only young once, and I certainly will not be carrying him forever.

So, when someone asks me if I’m uncomfortable, I smile and tell them the truth. I am just fine, and maybe a little relieved that babywearing is still working for us. And then if they’re still listening I start extolling the virtues of traditional baby carriers and writing down website names. I admit it, I might not exactly know when to stop talking all the time. It’s part of my charm, I think.

What about you? How old was your child when you stopped babywearing? And how did that decision come about? I’m curious to hear some other experiences.

Tagged With: Babywearing

Trying out the Beco

Amber on July 21, 2009 11 Comments

Way back in early June I ordered a Beco Butterfly II with my birthday money. I knew it would take a while to arrive, which was really fine considering my erm, considerable baby carrier collection. It’s not as if I had nothing to use in the meantime.

Finally, a week and a half ago I got the call. My Beco was in! I dropped everything and headed to the store to get it. It was every bit as pretty as I’d hoped, and I was very excited. I’ve been wearing it almost non-stop since. I’ve also had my husband try it out, and my friend with a newborn so that I could check out the infant insert. I’ve even put Hannah in it and taken it for a spin. The point is, that it’s gotten quite a workout.

Jacob takes the first spin in the new Beco

So, what’s the verdict?

I have mixed feelings about the Beco. Here are the things I do really like about it:

It’s very well thought-out, with features like a hold-tight strap to easily fold it into a compact package and a sleeve to fit the sleeping hood.

All rolled up and secured with the strap

It can hold a child who weighs up to 45 lbs. It held my 35 lb 4 1/2 year old comfortably and securely.

I love the fabric choices, they have a good range and span very plain to very fancy. I also like the organic options in the Hues line.

I found it really easy to get my wiggly baby on to my back, thanks to the design that holds him securely in the carrier even when it’s unbuckled.

It doesn’t slip or give at all while you’re wearing it, so you can adjust it once and you’re set.

Unlike the Ergo it comes with a built-in infant insert. It’s easy to use and secure, so this carrier could really span your whole babywearing career from newborn to toddler.

There aren’t any dangling straps to drag on the ground or get caught in stuff.

I think most dads would be more willing to wear a carrier like this one than, say, a woven wrap.

Hannah trying it out, and Jacob going for a ride with Dad

Here are the things I don’t like so much:

I found it difficult to get a great fit. There are at least 5 adjustment points, rather than the single point I’m used to with less structured carriers. It took a week of wearing it and fiddling with it to get a great fit for me.

The straps and buckles are very secure, but the downside is that this also means they’re stiff and hard to adjust. This makes it difficult or impossible to adjust the carrier while you’re wearing it unless you have another adult helping you.

You need to re-adjust for different wearers. So just when you get things how you like them, you’re back to fiddling, although I have gotten better at re-adjusting.

The sleep hood is impossible to put on by yourself if the baby is on your back.

For some reason it feels like the baby rides really low on your back. Not so much on your front, though. Both my husband and I said the same thing, so it’s not just me.

My baby’s feet are constantly getting caught in the shoulder strap when he’s getting in and out of the carrier.

You couldn’t do skin-to-skin or breastfeed in this carrier, since there is fabric between you and your baby. Not that I’ve successfully managed breastfeeding and babywearing, but this would be a big drawback for some folks.

Jacob snoozing on Dad’s back with the sleeping hood in place

For me, the downsides generally outweigh the upsides. It’s really the difficulty with adjusting that clinched it for me. Although others would say the same thing about the less structured carriers I adore. In honesty, the Beco might never have had a fair shake. I love my mei tais, and the Beco is not a mei tai.

But if you’re looking for a widely available, secure carrier that will see you through I think the Beco is a great choice. I would certainly recommend it over a Baby Bjorn for comfort, especially with a baby 6 months or older. The built-in infant insert really does mean you can wear it from day one. And I am totally in love with the owl motif. So you know I’ll be wearing it from time to time, if only for that.

Yes, I am a slave to babywearing fashion.

Tagged With: Baby Gear, Babywearing, Reviews

Babywearing Stash

Amber on June 12, 2009 36 Comments

The word ‘stash’ means different things to different people. If you’re a knitter, your stash is your yarn. If you sew, it’s fabric. Some people use it to refer to their cloth diapers. There are stashes of illicit drugs.

Today, though, I am talking about my babywearing stash. That is, my collection of baby carriers.

I have been taking a Salsa Babies class, which involves wearing your little one in a baby carrier and learning latin dance moves. It’s totally fun. For the class I have mostly been using one mei tai. However, from time to time I branch out and try another carrier. Inevitably a mom will say, “Oh, you have another one!” And I reply, “You don’t know the half of it!”

Today I am going to bare my soul, and let you know just how many baby carriers I own.

I have three woven wraps.

L-R: 4.1m Storchenweige Leo, 3.7m Didymos Jan, 4.6m Storchenweige Vicky

I have two mei tais that I made myself.

My own creations

I have two more mei tais that I bought.

L-R: Embroidered Freehand, Pocket Kozy

I ~~have stolen~~ am borrowing my friend’s podaegi, and it makes me feel like a babywearing rock star.

Custom podaegi from Upful Creations

I’ve sewn myself three pouch slings, one reversible cotton and two fleece.

My pouch slings

I use my beloved Maya Wrap regularly – this sling has seen me through 4 years and two babies (so far).

My Maya Wrap is my most faithful carrier

And I have a Beco Butterfly on order. I can’t wait to get it.

I also have some baby carriers that don’t see the light of day much, for various reasons. It’s a little sad, but that’s the nature of things I’m afraid. Baby carriers fall in and out of favour. I fall in and out of love. Sometimes I even pass an unloved beauty along to someone who will appreciate it more. It’s the circle of life, and it moves us all, even the ring slings.

So to the moms that ask, I do have another carrier. And another one, and another one, and another one …

I was inspired to write this by Stephanie over at Adventures in Babywearing, who is holding a stash link up. So now that you’ve admired my collection, head on over to see what other people are wearing their babies in.

Tagged With: Baby Gear, Babywearing

Wrap Me Up Mama

Amber on May 22, 2009 8 Comments

My 9-month-old Jacob is a sling baby. He doesn’t like the stroller much, probably because he hasn’t spent any real time in it. It wasn’t any grand design on my part, it’s just how it worked out. When you’re chasing a preschooler it’s often easier to keep the baby strapped to you.

So, I’ve kept Jacob strapped to me. It’s a rare day that I don’t use at least one of my baby carriers. At least one because I have, erm, several. More than three. I have my tried and true Maya Wrap and many mei tais. I also have a few wraps.

6-month-old Jacob peeking out from the Didymos

A wrap is a very long piece of cloth that can be used to tie your baby to you in all sorts of exciting ways . They come in different lengths and are woven or stretchy, filmy or heavy. I myself have only heavy German woven wraps, because I like structure and don’t mind the heat. I have 2 Storchenwieges, a 4.6 meter Vicky and a 4.1 meter Leo in red. But my most favourite wrap by far is my Didymos. I have a 3.7 meter Jan, which I bought when my daughter Hannah was a little over a year old.

3.7 meters is a bit short for a wrap, actually. But I am only 5’2″ and I tend to wear my baby mostly in the rucksack position, so for me this is plenty long enough. With my longer wraps I find I have too much extra fabric trailing behind me. If you’re taller or want to experiment with different carries you might need a little more length.

Jacob riding in a rucksack carry at 9 months

When I’m wearing the baby at home I’m all about the back carry. You simply can’t do laundry or make a peanut butter sandwich with a grabby baby on your front. And since Jacob is perfectly happy to be worn most of the time, it’s not unusual for him to ride around our house on my back. And for me, a back carry is where the wrap really shines.

I can get a baby on to my back and into a mei tai, but it requires that the baby is willing to not be too wiggly. With a wrap I can get even a wiggly baby up on my back no sweat. I spread the wrap in the corner of a chair, position the baby on top, and then back up so that we’re in roughly the right position for a back carry. Then I grab the ends of the wrap and stand up. Easy peasy, and no risk that he’ll wriggle off before I get him strapped in safely.

Working in the kitchen

There are some downsides to the wrap. It has a bit of a steep learning curve, although you can find great instructions online. And the sheer length can be cumbersome. I am not going to try to wrap my baby in a rainy parking lot. Although I do have close friends that use wraps almost exclusively because they love the versatility, so it can be done. Just not by me.

But the best part of the wrap is throwing your baby on to your back, working some magic with fabric, and seeing the looks of awe you get. It leaves me feeling pretty accomplished. And we all know, I do love feeling accomplished. Fun times all around!

If you haven’t checked out my photostream lately, drop on by. You can find lots of new snapshots of our daily adventures.

Tagged With: Baby Gear, Babywearing

Unexpected Gift

Amber on April 3, 2009 5 Comments

This week Hannah started a kid’s woodworking class. The teacher greeted the students and parents, and then told the parents that we were free to leave and come back in an hour. Hannah asked me to stick around for the first 10 minutes or so, but she happily waved good bye as soon as she had a hammer in her hot little hands. And for my part I wasn’t all that eager to try to sit in a plastic chair and entertain a 7-month-old amidst the racket of 8 preschoolers learning to pound nails into wood.

I hadn’t been expecting to have any time to myself, it was an unexpected gift to have 45 free minutes on a beautiful afternoon. Jacob was ready for a nap, and so I tucked him into the Maya Wrap and considered the world my oyster. Since I was in the neighbourhood I decided to take a walk along the Shoreline Trail in Port Moody. I could smell spring in the air, along with the first whiff of skunk cabbage, and I just walked and walked.

And then, when I could walk no more, I returned to pick up Hannah just in time. The racket of hammering had stopped, and she proudly showed me her sanding block. It will stay in the classroom for the next few weeks, to be used on the other projects.

Now I’m looking forward to the next class. What will I do? Where will I go? Perhaps I will visit Starbucks, or the library, or take a walk in the other direction. The possibilities abound! (As long as Jacob’s happy to snooze in the baby carrier, that is). I love my children, but there is something about an unexpected hour that is magic. It’s not so long that I feel the need to be productive. I could hardly schedule a doctor’s appointment or make it to the grocery store and back. It’s just long enough to feel the wind in my hair and smell the salt air before I collect my happy little carpenter again.

Tagged With: Babywearing, Beautiful BC

Babywearing and Boys

Amber on March 14, 2009 12 Comments

I had a baby girl first. I think the gender of your first child sort of becomes the ‘default’ gender in your mind. When I found out that I was expecting a boy the second time around I was sort of at a loss. By that time I had over 3 years of parenting a girl under my belt, adding a boy to the mix sort of scared me. Could I mother a boy as well as I mothered a girl? Would it be exactly the same, or would it be different?

My first trip to a baby store in search of cute boy clothes did nothing to make me feel better. It is an uncontested fact that girls’ clothes are cuter. Way cuter. And also more fun. Way more fun. Dresses, tights, teeny barrettes, and sparkly shoes. Plus, in a pinch, it’s fine to dress a girl in boys’ clothes, but the other way around is not so cool. In fact, realizing I may never use Hannah’s little baby outfits again caused a late-pregnancy breakdown.

But, as it turns out, the baby clothes were not the only things that have been relegated to the closet. I’ve also packed away some of my baby carriers. As I realized in the 5 minutes I spent in the babywearing business, we all ooh and ahh over pretty baby carriers, but the gender neutral ones are what most everyone wants. Because either they want to share the carrier with their husband or use it to carry their son. Either way, as lovely as pink and floral are, they’re probably not what you actually go with in the end.

Jacob in my 'gender neutral' Kozy carrier

Since Jacob was born, I have been sticking with the gender neutral baby carriers too. My Kozy carrier, especially, sees a lot of use. Not that Kozy carriers are always gender neutral, they’re absolutely not. It just so happens that mine is, and so that’s one of the reasons it’s seeing the most use. I also happen to love the long body, but really it’s mostly the fabric I chose.

Jacob in my 'girly' Freehand carrier

I used the Kozy with Hannah, but I also used a lot of rather pretty mei tais, too. One of my own, in pink and brown, was a go-to carrier for me. I also have a purple floral Freehand carrier with embroidery on the straps. It’s beautiful and expensive, even though I bought it second-hand. It was a splurge, and it was Hannah’s personal favourite. I think the last time I wore her in it she was over 3 years old. In fact, she would still go for rides in it if I let her, but since I’m generally carrying or wearing Jacob it’s not an option.

Another shot of the Freehand

Because I love the Freehand so much I still use it around the house. It’s perfectly functional, and Jacob is far too young to care whether a baby carrier is girly or not. But I can’t quite bring myself to use it at the grocery store. It’s my own hang-up, I know, but it’s the honest truth. So the pretty carriers may still see the light of day from time to time, but that light is filtered through my living room windows.

I have friends who insist that the baby carrier is something that you (the mom or dad) is wearing. It’s an article of your clothing that the baby just happens to be riding in. And you wouldn’t give a second thought to wearing a girly shirt simply because you have a baby boy strapped to you, so there’s no need to give a second thought to your choice of baby carrier. On the one hand, I can see their point. On the other hand, so many strangers still refer to my little man as “she” that adding a girly baby carrier to the mix just seems like too much.

Now, be honest with me. Would you wear a baby boy in a pretty pink carrier? Or would you stick with basic black when push comes to shove?

Tagged With: Babywearing

Wearing a Mei Tai Out and About

Amber on February 10, 2009 7 Comments

I’ve written before about how I love my mei tai. I wear it everywhere – to my Salsa Babies class, to the grocery store, and around the house. Outside of the car seat and my cloth diapers no other piece of baby gear sees more use here at Casa de Strocel.

When I first started wearing the mei tai I ran into a small problem. You see, they have very long straps, and I live in a very wet city. The idea of taking my coat off and standing in a parking lot on a rainy day, attempting to get the carrier on and the baby into it was not appealing. Some people solve this problem by using a ring sling, since they’re generally considered much easier to pop a baby in and out of. But I found that my one shoulder was not up to bearing the weight of a heavy baby through a whole 45 minute grocery trip.

So I came up with my own little solution. And I decided to make a little how-to video to share my tip with you. It was going to be awesome, let me tell you. Jon was helping me, and he is a professional sports director, so I had that going for me. I would put it on YouTube and it would go viral and pretty soon I’d have this whole multi-media empire. Oh ho ho, I had big plans.

Big plans that came to a screeching halt when it became apparent that the microphone on our digital camera no longer works. It seems that the downside to letting my child take her own photos is that she is not always as gentle as she could be with the technology. We tried our best, but no matter what we did the video just sounded like, “Crackle crackle shoulder straw pfffft!” My dreams of glory were dashed.

I refused to give up, even after Jon went to work and I was all alone with the baby. I ended up using the timer feature on my camera to take several badly-framed, out of focus photos. Which I present to you now, in my slightly less useful but hopefully still comprehensible version of “How to wear your mei tai when you’re out and about without getting it all dirty or subjecting yourself to inclement weather.”

1. While you are still at home or in a sheltered location, put your mei tai on your front in the same way that you usually would. If you don’t know how to do that, you can find some great instructions on the Kozy carrier website. Don’t put the baby in it, and leave the shoulder straps quite loose, so that you can pull the front down easily.

2. Put your coat on over top, leaving it open at the front. Load the baby into the car and drive to your destination.

3. When you get to where you’re going, put the baby into the carrier by pulling the front down low and fitting the baby inside. I took my coat off for this photo, but that’s not necessary.

4. Arrange the shoulder straps around the baby’s legs, pull snug, and tie. Ta da, you’re wearing your baby! No straps were dragged on the ground, and you kept your coat on.

When you’re taking your baby out, you can just perform the steps in reverse. Loosen the shoulder straps by moving the knot toward the ends, and remove your baby. If you have another place you need to go your carrier is ready and waiting.

PS – It is not actually necessary that you be out of focus, or that you cut off the top of your head. I just do that sort of thing to show off.

Tagged With: Baby Gear, Babywearing

Mei Tai Love

Amber on January 27, 2009 11 Comments

I love my baby carriers. I’ve written recently about my affection for my ring sling. That is only one of my many carriers, though. I also have several pouch slings, another ring sling, three German woven wraps, a Baby Bjorn, and a Baby Buddha. But my absolute favourite, hands down, is the mei tai. I currently have 5, three I made myself, one Kozy, and one Freehand.

A mei tai, or Asian baby carrier, is loosely based on traditional Chinese carriers. It’s basically a square piece of fabric with 4 straps, 2 for the waist and 2 for the shoulders. The more modern North American variant has a longer body, often with padding, and sometimes has wider or padded shoulder straps.

So what makes the mei tai so great? I like that it distributes weight over both shoulders and across the back. Although ring and pouch slings can be worn with very large babies and small children, I personally found that once my babies hit 15 pounds or so, wearing them on one shoulder for long periods of time became uncomfortable.

I also like that the baby is snuggled in very close to you, instead of hanging like dead weight off your front. Compared to the more widely-available baby carriers, you can carry a much larger child more comfortably in a mei tai. Most are rated for children up to 35 lbs or so (my petite 4-year-old weighs in at just under 34). Also, you can wear your baby on your back, front or hip, whereas most Bjorn-style carriers allow only front carries. Putting a grabby baby on your back can really help you to get things done around the house.

Mei tais are also one size fits all. This means that multiple adults can use the same carrier, and there are no buckles to adjust every time. Plus, mei tais come in all sorts of cool and fun prints. If you really want a great selection of fabrics, I don’t think that you can beat Babyhawk. I don’t have one, but I love to visit and imagine.

A lot of these advantages also apply to a good woven wrap. While I do like my wraps, there is a definite learning curve associated with them. I found the mei tais to be nearly as versatile, and considerably easier to use. That’s just me, though.

If you are considering your baby carrier options, I really recommend The Baby Wearer website . They have all sorts of articles and reviews to help you choose. There are also instructions for every type of baby carrier imaginable. And if you become a member you can find lots of affordable second-hand baby carriers (or sell your old ones) on their For Sale or Trade boards. It’s a goldmine of support and information.

Happy Babywearing!