Strocel.com | Birthdays

Happy Birthday to Jon

Amber on September 23, 2011 9 Comments

I will open this post with a confession – I had no good blog post ideas for today. Some people would say that means I shouldn’t bother posting, but as my posting schedule shows, I am clearly not some people. But then, as if God Himself heard my desperation, a realization washed over my consciousness: today is my husband’s birthday. Cause for celebration and blog fodder, I smell a winner!

I first met Jon in September, 1989, some 22 years ago. He was 12 years old, and his locker was right next to mine, so on our first day of junior high I taught him how to open his locker lock. It was not love at first sight (see: 12 years old), but I liked him well enough. And in fact, when my good friend asked me who I thought I would marry I said, “Someone sort of like Jon Strocel – but cuter.”

Me and Jon, circa 1996

I saw from the beginning, even when I was only 13 years old myself, that Jon was someone special. He was a good listener, and a great conversationalist, which are not necessarily common traits amongst the junior high set. While most of the males at school wanted me to stop talking already, Jon actually seemed to enjoy hearing what I had to say. If only he had been cuter.

Luckily, puberty had its way with Jon, and by the time that he reached the end of grade nine he was several inches taller and his voice was several octaves lower. And so, when he was only 14 and I was only 15, I agreed to be his girlfriend. And, through some twist of fate I never stopped – not through high school, or university, or first jobs, or first apartments, or marriage, or babies. I have bought birthday presents for Jon for two entire decades now, and I hope to do it for many more still. Awwwww.

Me and Jon, circa 2004

You may have observed that I am older than my husband. It’s true, he’s four and a half months younger than me. While the importance of those four and a half months diminished significantly once Jon could legally drink, every year from May to September I am still keenly aware of the difference. My husband is a charming, lovely, wonderful man. I feel so very lucky to be married to him. But he is also a first rate smart ass. He does not hesitate to tease me about my advanced age, but as of today, the playing field is once again level.

So allow me to extend my warmest birthday wishes to the man in my life, who also happens to be the very best person I know. And allow me to also say, “Welcome to 35, Babe. You aren’t younger than me anymore.”

Tagged With: Birthdays, Marriage, Navel Gazing

What Three Years Looks Like

Amber on August 13, 2011 19 Comments

Today my son Jacob is three years old, and I am sobbing. This, I have come to discover, is what I do on my children’s birthdays. I sob. Because these children of mine? They are growing at a totally unreasonable rate, and I am not really prepared for it. And so, suddenly, I have a three-year-old, and I am caught up in the extremely bittersweet nature of parenting until I can’t contain the stinging behind my eyeballs anymore and it comes spilling out.

Why, oh why, oh why do they have to grow so fast?

The last three years of my life have been a whirlwind of awesome. I have watched Jacob move from helpless infant to little person, with his own thoughts, interests and concerns. He is no longer my baby, or even my toddler. He is my little boy, and soon (too soon) he won’t even be that. See? The bittersweet-ness refuses to be contained.

Before I wander too far down this track of Where did the time go? and I’m not ready for him to grow up and leave me! I am going to stop. Full stop, right here and now. And instead, I am going to share photos. These share the story of my son Jacob, who is one of the most amazing little people I have ever met. I am truly privileged to be his mother, and to have shared these three years with him. And as much as watching him grow so quickly makes my heart ache, it also makes my chest swell with pride.

Happy birthday, sweet baby boy. I love you more than words or pictures could ever convey.

Riding a spring horse at a friend's house

The first thing that I said when I saw Jacob was, “He’s so small!” And truly, compared to his three and a half year old sister he was small. Today, when I look at him all that I can think is, “He’s so big!” And truly, compared to the baby he once was, he is big. That is cause for celebration. So I will dry my eyes, and eat cake, and maybe even dance. Today my son is three, and I have no more time for tears.

Tagged With: Birthdays, Kids, Parenting

What I Will do This Year

Amber on May 5, 2011 27 Comments

It’s Thursday and I’m Crafting my Life! Today also happens to be my 35th birthday, and to celebrate I’m offering 35% off the upcoming session of Crafting my Life. You’ll pay only $95 USD, instead of $147. You have from 9am – 9pm Pacific to get in on the action. Take the next 12 weeks to do something just for yourself, and pursue a life of greater intention. To get in on the action, sign up now. I’d love to have you along for the journey!

As I just stated in the blurb above, today is my birthday. I’m 35 years old now, and somehow that feels significant. I think maybe the years that end in zero or five always do. 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, 45. They mark the transition from one decade to the next, and the midway point in each. Today, standing at the midway point of my 30s, I’m feeling introspective.

My birthday is like my own personal new year. It’s when my calendar changes from 34 to 35. I would like to get this year off to a good start, so I’m setting some personal intentions. I’m throwing some stuff out to the universe and myself and anyone who happens to be reading this. In the process I’m sending a message about what I want to see in the year ahead. After all, if I don’t know what I want, it’s going to be awfully hard to get it.

What I Will do at 35

Write a book proposal.
Grow watermelons.
Create a Crafting my Life family-friendly retreat.
Decide what the heck I’m going to do with the 10-year-old wedding dress sitting in a box under my house.
Go snow tubing.
Drink more tea.
Roast marshmallows in my fireplace.
Stay in a hotel with my husband and no children.
Get rid of at least 100 things from my house.
Teach Hannah to ride her bike, and get a bike of my own.
Get Jacob started in preschool.
Travel to San Diego all by myself for BlogHer.
Sew myself a dress from a vintage pattern.
Swim in the ocean.
Learn how to use the lawnmower and the barbecue, because I am a Competent Adult.
Not beat myself up if I don’t do everything on this list.

What do you want to do with your next year on earth? I love it if you’d play along in honour of my birthday! Or just pass along your birthday wishes – either way.

Tagged With: Birthdays, Crafting my Life, Navel Gazing

When Fairies (Birthday) Party

Amber on February 21, 2011 19 Comments

As you may know, Saturday was my daughter Hannah’s 6^th birthday. It was also the first time that I held a children’s birthday party. In my house. With many children. With a fairy theme.

I’m pretty sure parties never had themes when I was a kid. Unless “birthday party” counts as its own theme. Life was much harder for children back in the 1980s, yo. We weren’t coddled with luxuries like birthday party themes or our own cell phones. Of course, any portable phone would have weighed more than we did, but let’s not let anything pesky like “facts” interfere with my argument. And also? You kids, get off of my lawn!

Alright, I think I’ve worked the crotchety out of my system. Back to the post at hand.

We had a party. It was lovely. The children came and they were polite and the noise level was pretty reasonable and it didn’t take us three days to recover. Hannah proved that she is my daughter by attempting to organize a sing-along. And she proved that she’s Jon’s daughter when she displayed concern about making a mess on the floor. The kids were all very cute and non-whiney and they ate my healthy snacks very politely. (Although they may have eaten the cake and ice cream a little more politely.) We made wands and played games and opened gifts and all that kind of stuff.

I decided to make the party a little bit greener by opting for re-usable decorations. I have some old sheets that served as tablecloths and picnic blankets, and I got the lovely butterflies, fairy door and name banner from Green Planet Parties. Most of it will be re-used on future birthdays, so that’s cool. Here’s what it looked like, once it all came together:

Goodie bag barrettes, made using Jenny’s instructions, my proudest achievement

I would totally throw another children’s party at home. I actually quite enjoyed the decorating and pulling things together. And I really enjoyed seeing Hannah and her friends enjoy themselves together. Birthday parties are fun!

Have you ever thrown a children’s party? What did it look like? Or, just tell me what your weekend looked like. That would be cool, too.

Tagged With: Birthdays, Kids

Six Years of Motherhood

Amber on February 19, 2011 35 Comments

Six years ago today my life changed. My daughter Hannah was born, and I became someone’s mother.

It was a rather abrupt entry into motherhood, happening six weeks before it was expected to. Less than twelve hours after being jolted awake by my water breaking, and convincing myself I had just wet the bed, I had a baby.

It was very surreal at first. Hannah was in the NICU, and while I was able to visit her I couldn’t sit up for long periods of time following severe blood loss on my part. So I spent most of my time lying in my own hospital bed, resting, vaguely aware that I had a baby but not really living the reality. On my first night out of the hospital, when Hannah was four days old, Jon took me out to dinner. Neither of us were up to cooking, and we sat there in that White Spot and looked at the wristbands we were given to identify us as Hannah’s parents in the NICU.

We were marked. We were tired and overwhelmed and confused. But we didn’t yet feel like parents. And so I ate my chicken fingers and Caesar salad and pondered the largely academic reality of my daughter.

When Hannah was six days old, we brought her home. It was another sudden flurry of activity, much like her birth. They didn’t give us much advance warning that she was being released. I suspect they didn’t want to get our hopes up and then have to disappoint us. And on that day, again, in a haze of confusion my life changed.

That was 2185 days ago, now, and my life has continued changing every day since. Living with children is like that. They inhabit a world of change, where things simply cannot stay the same for very long at all. There is always a new peak to be climbed, a new depth to be plumbed, or a new nerve to be worn raw. There is always more and more and more of everything. So much more, that you think you can’t contain it, but you do. Until you don’t, and it spills everywhere, and other parents look at it knowingly.

In so many ways I am not the same person that I was on February 19, 2005. I am stronger and weaker. I am braver and more timid. I am gentler and more fierce. Motherhood has sharpened me in some ways, and softened me in others. It has denied me sleep and basic comforts. But it has also given me the world. And it is a world that is much bigger and richer and full of potential choking hazards than I could ever have imagined.

I didn’t know what I was getting into, as I waddled into the maternity ward the day that Hannah was born. And really, there was no way I could have. It wasn’t mine to know, then. It is only mine to discover and learn anew, every single day. Together with my husband and our children, I discover it.

Today, I mark another year gone. I do so in gratitude, to have shared this journey with my daughter. I do so in joy, to see the person that Hannah is becoming. I also do so in sadness, because it is another year I will never see again. Change, as I said, is constant with children. There is no getting back the countless moments from Hannah’s first six years, and no predicting what her seventh year will look like.

All that I know for sure is that today I am here, and my daughter is six, and I will celebrate the person that she is, and the person I am because of her. Happy birthday to my daughter, and happy birthday to the family that wouldn’t exist without her.

Tagged With: Birthdays, Kids, Navel Gazing, Parenting

Throwing the Party

Amber on February 16, 2011 19 Comments

My daughter Hannah is about to turn six. Six! I am going to pause for a moment, and let that sink in.

My baby! My baby! What happened to my baby? It feels like just yesterday that she was born! Where does the time go?

OK, I’ve gotten that out of my system. At least temporarily.

Every year on the anniversary of Hannah’s birth we hold some kind of celebration to mark the occasion. Because, really, watching a child grow up is a momentous and wondrous thing. It requires some kind of periodic pause in which to wax nostalgic and celebrate the accomplishment.

Hannah samples her 1st birthday cake, sweetened with applesauce because she was my firstborn

In past years, we have only held family parties. When Hannah was an infant and young toddler, I couldn’t see going all-out on a big shindig, since she didn’t understand what was up herself. Then for a couple of years Hannah wanted a family party, and that was great. And finally last year, Hannah’s birthday fell smack in the middle of Jon’s stint as a 24/7 employee of Olympic Broadcast Services, which meant that our family was kind of busy and not up for a huge party.

2nd birthday cake, homemade and topped with whipped cream

This year, things are different. My daughter, my baby is now in kindergarten, and she wants a real party. And so, this weekend, I will oblige. After doing a little legwork, I decided that I didn’t want to shell out $200 or more for a 6th birthday party, so we’re holding it at our house. It will have a fairy theme, and there will be somewhere between 7 and 10 children there, including my own. I will have some back-up, from my husband and from my friend.

How times change – Hannah has a brother and store-bought licensed characters for her 4th birthday

I have party food, so we’re set on that count. And Green Planet Parties, the super-cool local mom-run business set up a section in their shop for fairy-themed parties, so I gathered some inspiration and some decorations from there. I’ve got a wand craft planned, and I have goodies for some goody bags. I’m also toying with the idea of having some kind of scavenger hunt.

Post-Olympic 5th birthday candles

The party is only an hour and a half, so I’m not all that worried about it. Maybe I should be worried about it. Maybe this is all going to be much harder than I think. But I was a Brownie leader for years, so I have entertained a bunch of little girls by myself for the same length of time with only my wits and some markers for backup. I think I can pull off one party. I guess only time will tell if I’m right.

For now, in spite of my confidence, I would love some party-planning tips if you have any to share. What has gone well, and what hasn’t gone well, at kids’ parties that you’ve thrown? Do you have any suggestions for activities or games? And what about music, do you think that’s important? I am a total party-planning novice, so I welcome all of your suggestions.

Tagged With: Birthdays, Kids, Parenting

Happy 5th Birthday to My Girl

Amber on February 19, 2010 36 Comments

Today, at 4pm Pacific time, my daughter Hannah turns 5 years old. 5! How did that happen? I don’t know, I’ll tell you that much.

I have been waiting for the feeling I’ve felt on Hannah’s previous birthdays to kick in. I call it Preemie Birthday Sadness – the feeling that February 19th should not have been Hannah’s birthday. The feeling that someone made a terrible mistake, and we should be celebrating sometime in early April when she was due instead of mid-to-late February when she was born at 34 weeks. Because the truth is the day I gave birth to Hannah was not an entirely happy day, it was a very worrying day, too.

So far this year I have not felt the Preemie Birthday Sadness. While I will never be able to look back on the day of Hannah’s birth without some wistfulness, I have finally shed the extreme worry. I have made my peace and I know that we will be OK in spite of it, or possibly even because of it. We have come through some rough patches together, and I wish they hadn’t happened, but I know that we can persevere when we need to. I do not need to carry the fear around with me anymore.

Today I celebrate my daughter, who is an amazing 5-year-old and a fabulous person. She is defiant and stubborn and compliant and kind and full of contradiction. She loves dresses and sparkles and Barbie and me. She sings and draws and dances and runs, and she wants to live with me forever. And me? I’m inclined to say yes, because I can’t imagine a morning when she doesn’t wake me up by jumping on me, uncomfortable though that may be. This is the kid who made me a mother, and I don’t really want to let her go anymore than she wants to let me go.

Happy birthday, Hannah girl! You are the coolest 5-year-old I know, and that’s no lie.

Tagged With: Birthdays, Kids, Memories

My Favourite Day of the Year

Amber on September 23, 2009 19 Comments

Today is supposed to be all about my husband Jon, because it’s his birthday. But as usual, I am making it all about me. Because yesterday I was interviewed by the truly fabulous Ann Douglas. You have to stop by The Mother of All Parenting Blogs to read The Quick Guide to Canadian Maternity Leave — and the Mom Who Wrote It. And, of course, check out my guide if you haven’t already.

Back to the topic at hand. Today is my Jon’s 33rd birthday. For those of you who keep up with these things, yes, I did turn 33 myself back in May and my husband is younger than me. 141 days younger than me, to be exact. Which isn’t much in the grand scheme of things. However you had better believe that for those 141 days every year he totally lords it over me that he is younger than I am. That, oh, yes, I am 33 but he is still a fresh-faced 32. And so in addition to celebrating the fabulosity that is my husband every September 23, I also celebrate the great equalizing. Now we are the same age for another 224 days.

(Lest you think my husband is some kind of jerk, I have to admit that I totally lorded my age over him when we were younger. For instance, when I had my driver’s license and I was driving his 15-year-old self around. Or when I could order a drink with dinner. Or when he was 24 on our honeymoon and not allowed to drive the rental car. It’s a good-natured teasing we have going on. Now that we are older, it’s simply his turn to get the digs in.)

scan0001 One of the ironies of having children is that even as you get older and would sort of prefer to ignore the birthdays, you’re not allowed to. There is no way that a 4-year-old is going to let a chance to eat cake and ice cream and open presents pass her by. Of course she would sort of prefer the presents are toys for her, but in a pinch she’ll open your boring socks and gift cards, too. And so this evening we will decorate cupcakes and sing ‘Happy Birthday’ and celebrate Jon.

Happy birthday, Jon! Welcome to the land of the 33-year-olds. It’s not that bad, especially for me, because now I am not alone any longer. Don’t worry, in 7 1/2 months you’ll be younger than me once again.

The top photo is Jon at 1 year, and the bottom photo is Jon at 33 years

I would love to hear how age has played a factor in everyone else’s relationships, if at all. Are you older or younger than your partner? And does that make you feel smug? Please share your stories!

Tagged With: Birthdays, Marriage

Four Years On

Amber on February 19, 2009 7 Comments

Hannah will turn 4 years old at 4:00 pm this afternoon. And I will celebrate 4 years of motherhood. 4 years of amazing milestones and life-altering moments. 4 years of sleepless nights and early mornings. 4 years of blinding love. 4 years of wondering when I will find myself again while feeling slightly off-balance when I’m not with Hannah. 4 years of wiping tears and kissing knees. 4 years of wrestling with hair elastics. The craziest 4 years of my life.

As exciting as it is to watch Hannah grow up, and as much as I love having this little person in my life, it’s all happening far too quickly. I will never be able to look at my kid without wondering what happened to that little 5-pound bundle that we brought home from the hospital. I mean, I know exactly what happened. But also, somehow, I don’t. Because as trite as it sounds it doesn’t seem like it happened 4 years ago.

So what is she like, my 4-year-old? She loves to make people laugh, and her favourite jokes involve toilet humour. She jumps into things head-first, throwing caution to the wind (much to my chagrin). She loves to move and climb and jump and run. She’s a princess and a crime-fighter, a big sister and still very much a little girl. She likes to hold my hand, and build things, and play imagination games. She loves the Wiggles and the Disney princesses. She loves her mom and dad and baby brother. And we love her back, fiercely and in a way I didn’t understand until that day 4 years ago when she came into my life.