Formula in my Cupboard

on April 17, 2012 8 Comments

I’ve been thinking about something recently. When my daughter Hannah was born at 34 weeks, she was given a bottle of formula in the NICU before I had a chance to try breastfeeding her. When I did try to breastfeed her, she refused to latch. I started pumping, but I was never able to get as much as the doctors and nurses said she needed, so about half of her milk intake was formula. When she left the hospital at one week old she still hadn’t successfully latched, and the nurses tucked a few jars of pre-prepared formula into my diaper bag. That formula only lasted a day or so, so my husband had to go buy a can within 24 hours of Hannah’s arrival home.

Now, I should make something clear: I had really not planned to give my baby formula. I was intent on breastfeeding for at least 12-18 months before my first child was even born. But when you have a premature baby, and many people in white coats are saying that baby needs a certain amount of food, you give that amount. When that baby refuses to latch, and you’re having limited success with pumping, you supplement. Looking back I think that a whole lot of things could have been handled better in general – like, say, not separating me from my perfectly healthy baby within minutes of her birth – but this was one of those times in life when I found myself doing the best I could with the situation I found myself in.

The good news in this story is that the morning after my husband’s trip to buy that big can of formula, Hannah finally latched using a nipple shield. Within 48 hours I had stopped pumping and she wasn’t receiving any more formula supplements. I think we ended up mixing a total of two bottles out of the big can of formula. I kept it for a few weeks just to be sure that everything would go okay, and then I threw it out with glee.

In the years since my first baby was born, I’ve spoken with many other mothers who found themselves giving their babies formula when they hadn’t planned to. Many of these mothers do everything they can to limit the amount of formula their babies receive. I also know moms who go to great lengths to ensure their little ones never receive any formula at all, spending their lives attached to breast pumps and forgoing sleep and showers and regular meals in order to get breastfeeding going.

I think that every mother needs to make her own decisions about just how far she’s willing to go to avoid infant formula. Some moms may not even try to avoid it at all. That’s not really my point here. I’m not writing this to moralize on why breastfeeding is so important. I think we’ve all read the public health messages, and we all know the drill. What’s interesting to me, however, is how different parents will respond to having infant formula available. Will you still avoid it all costs – or will having it in your cupboard lead you to offer that first bottle just that much sooner?

The evidence suggests that mothers who receive formula samples from the hospital are less likely to breastfeed. This is true whether we’re talking about commercial sample packs from a formula company, or nurses tucking a few jars into a diaper bag, which is what I got. To a certain degree, this just makes sense. Regardless of where you stand on formula companies, I think we can all agree that they’re big businesses, and they’re unlikely to engage in a widespread marketing practice if it doesn’t work. Formula marketing – such as handing out samples – is meant to sell formula, and at least some of the time it does that at the expense of breastfeeding.

I understand the evidence, but it doesn’t answer my initial question. Why do some mothers view that formula can on their shelves with extreme suspicion, while others view it as a welcome back-up plan or occasional alternative?

There are a whole lot of factors that influence breastfeeding rates, as it turns out. Here are a few, based on the research:

Looking at that list I see that there are a whole lot of factors that influence a mother’s breastfeeding experience. There’s no single thing that’s going to determine if a mother breastfeeds, how long she breastfeeds for, or whether she breastfeeds exclusively or supplements with formula. What’s more, any individual mother may have very different experiences from one baby to the next. It’s simply not true that any mom who has a can of formula in her cupboard is going to use it. However, that doesn’t mean we should all buy it, or that formula companies or hospitals should go ahead and hand out free samples “just in case”.

What I think it does mean is that, first and foremost, we need to make sure that mothers have good information and support. When you look at that list, most of the success factors centre around a mother who has access to the resources she needs, when she needs them. Whether it’s health care providers in the hospital, your mother helping you out at home, or a website you search out when you’re looking for information, if you can find the answers you’re looking for, you’re more likely to be successful.

Should we curtail formula marketing? I think we should. But I also think that we need to keep our focus where it belongs, and that’s on parents. The ideal outcome in my book is that parents are satisfied with their own experiences, whether we’re talking about breastfeeding or anything else associated with that transition to early parenthood. Because a can of formula in your pantry isn’t going to really be there for you, whether you ever give it to your baby or not.

What are your experiences with formula samples? Did you receive any? Did you use them? Where do you think we should focus our efforts at helping mothers succeed at breastfeeding? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

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Podcast: Emma Kwasnica on Facebook and Breastfeeding

on March 16, 2012 3 Comments

Over the years there have been countless stories about mothers having their breastfeeding images removed from Facebook. In some cases, mothers even had their accounts deleted. Over three years ago, in December, 2008, I myself participated in a virtual “nurse-in”. I updated my own profile photo to an image of myself breastfeeding my daughter Hannah and changed my status to say, “Hey, Facebook, breastfeeding is not obscene!” And yet, in spite of the outcry, new stories continue to crop up all the time.

Facebook Breastfeeding Emma KwasnicaEmma Kwasnica lives here in Vancouver, and she herself has had a number of photos removed from the social networking site. She’s also had her account de-activated. Finally, it reached the point where she had enough, and she went public with her story. Media coverage followed, and as it did, Facebook took notice. They held a conference call with Emma, and issued statements underscoring the fact that they welcome breastfeeding photos on Facebook. In part, their policy regarding images depicting breastfeeding reads:

We agree that breastfeeding is natural and beautiful…Photos that show a fully exposed breast where the child is not actively engaged in nursing do violate Facebook’s Statement of Rights and Responsibilities.

The problem, according to Emma (and other mothers whose images have been removed), is that Facebook sometimes removes photos that do not show an exposed nipple that is not engaged in breastfeeding, and which therefore comply with the site’s policy. It has also locked mothers out of their own accounts without warning or recourse. Emma is trying to stop that from happening. She wants Facebook to follow its own rules and regulations. Breastfeeding is not an obscene act, and the Facebook policy agrees. It should be applied properly, and it should be applied in the same way for all users. The question of whether or not an image is obscene should not depend on whether someone else decides to flag your photo or not, and it also should not depend on who happens to be evaluating a complaint on any given day. To reinforce this message, a Facebook page called FB! Stop harassing Emma Kwasnica over her breastfeeding pics was started.

Like Emma Kwasnica, I’m one of 850 million Facebook users worldwide. The odds are pretty good that you are, too. Facebook depends on us for its livelihood. It might be free to sign up, but our presence allows them to sell ads, which make them a lot of money. We have power in this relationship to make our voices heard. To get started, listen to my conversation with Emma, find out how she’s working to ensure Facebook plays by its out rules, and learn how you can take action:

Interview with Emma Kwasnica about Facebook and Breastfeeding [ 22:14 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Next week on the podcast I’ll be sharing an interview with Stephanie Bonn, a chiropractor with Coco Chiropractic Wellness in Vancouver. She focuses on treating families, and especially expectant moms and babies. If you’re curious about chiropractic care, what it entails, and what it can do, you’ll definitely want to hear what Stephanie has to say. Subscribe to the Strocel.com podcast in iTunes, and you won’t miss a minute!

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Natrel Baboo Toddler Milk Awakens my Inner Lactivist

on February 8, 2012 25 Comments

I write about breastfeeding much less than I used to, probably because I’m not doing it anymore myself. Since my son Jacob weaned nearly a year ago, I don’t spend as much time thinking about it as when it was part of my daily reality. This doesn’t mean, however, that I’ve turned in my lactivist card. Occasionally, I still encounter something that makes my inner breastfeeding mama stand up and take notice. This happened to me recently when I was walking through my local grocery store, and I came across a new product on the shelves called Natrel Baboo.

Natrel Baboo is a dairy product that claims to be specifically designed for toddlers aged 12-24 months. It’s supposedly easier for toddlers to digest than cow’s milk. It’s sold in tetra paks and ultra high temperature pasteurized, so while it says that it contains fresh milk and no preservatives, it does not require refrigeration. The idea is that Natrel Baboo will somehow ease the weaning process for a toddler, helping them to transition more easily from breast milk or formula to cow’s milk. Right now it’s 30 cents off at the Thrifty Foods near my house, so … score?

Baboo from Natrel

Like I said, the product caught my eye, so I had to check it out more closely. Specifically, I wanted to see what was in this stuff, anyway. But before I got to the ingredients, I got to the marketing message on the back. This sentence extolling Natrel Baboo’s virtues caught my eye:

It is easy to digest because its milk protein closely matches breast milk.

Do you want to know how to irritate a lactivist? Claim that a product which lists “reconstituted ultrafiltered milk permeate” as the first ingredient closely matches breast milk. That really gets our goat. It’s simply not possible to manufacture something that closely matches breast milk. Formula companies do their very best to try, and I commend their efforts to ensure that babies who aren’t exclusively breastfed are receiving the best possible nutrition. But those same formula companies are excluded from making these sorts of claims under the WHO Code of Marketing of Breast-milk Substitutes. Natrel Baboo can get away with it, because it is intended for toddlers, who are not covered under the code.

A milk product I saw at the grocery store

There’s something else on the label that really raised my lactivist hackles, and it was this:

Important notice: Breastfeeding is the best method of feeding infants in the first six months of life and is recommended for as long as possible during infancy.

(The italics are mine.)

Natrel Baboo is sold here in Canada, but its makers seem to be unaware that the Canadian Pediatric society recommends that breastfeeding continue up to age two and beyond. That statement clearly implies that at some point during infancy breastfeeding is just going to become impossible. Or, failing that, it suggests that breastfeeding should not continue outside of infancy. I believe that it’s up to every mother and child to set their own breastfeeding schedule. This is not some sort of contest to see who can go on the longest. But many nursing pairs happily continue through toddlerhood, and even into the preschool years. That is perfectly fine – in fact, it’s better than fine – although it means fewer customers for Natrel Baboo, so it’s no surprise they’re not lauding the benefits of nursing during the second year of life, let alone the third or fourth.

Still, most toddlers aren’t breastfeeding here in North America. Let’s say, just for the sake of argument, that your toddler is already weaned, or never really got started with breastfeeding in the first place. Does that mean that Natrel Baboo is the superior choice? There’s simply no clear evidence to support that claim. Nutritionists and dieticians who worked with Natrel say it has added benefits over whole cow’s milk, but I read an article quoting at least one independent nutritionist who disagrees. The Canadian Pediatric Society recommends that toddlers who aren’t breastfeeding drink whole cow’s milk or follow-up formula from 12-18 months of age, and whole cow’s milk from 18-24 months of age. All of this seems to suggest that the product is likely unnecessary.

The big difference for Natrel Baboo is the cost – it’s quite a lot more expensive than whole cow’s milk. I’m calling marketing spin. I believe the company is trying to create a need where none exists. Frankly, that ticks my inner lactivist off big time.

Clearly, I’m not a fan of Natrel Baboo, although I do have to admit it comes in a very pretty package. I wonder what you think. Would you buy this for your kids? Why or why not?

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Of Babies and Habits

on November 15, 2011 12 Comments

Periodically, I am invited to speak to mom-and-baby groups about breastfeeding. I really enjoy going, and most of the time a lively and engaging discussion results, and the moms who are present share with and learn from each other. I think it’s fabulous. After all, parenting is something you learn on the job. While books and videos and the like can be useful, nothing beats talking it out with other parents in the trenches. It’s especially great if they have children around the same age, so they understand where you’re coming from, and they can remember how they dealt with whatever issue you’re currently encountering.

One of the concerns that always comes up when you get a bunch of new moms together is sleep. It’s totally understandable, because sleep-deprivation is issue number one for many (most? all?) parents of young infants. At some point, we all face a conflict between our need for sleep, and our baby’s desire to party hard, well into the wee hours of the morning. It turns out that newborns can be shockingly inconsiderate when it comes to other people’s desire for a little peace and quiet.

When I was a new mother myself, I read Our Babies, Ourselves by Meredith Small. The book examines how babies are raised in different societies, and how our cultural beliefs and values about children affect our parenting. One of the main things that I took away from the book is that everyone does this parenting thing differently, so I should feel free to follow my own instincts and do my own thing, provided that “my own thing” wasn’t harmful to my child. That point comes into play for me as I listen to parents discuss sleep. There simply isn’t a single right answer when it comes to how much sleep your baby needs at night or during the day or how much sleep you need or how to make it all work.

There are experts who would disagree with me, and lay out set sleep routines and standards based on a baby’s age. Many of these experts are quick to point out that poor infant sleep happens because parents are somehow creating bad habits, which means you’re responsible for your infant’s night-waking. They use terms like “human pacifier” and give dire warnings about the dangers of infant sleep deprivation. The bad habits message doesn’t end with sleep, either. We’re giving our toddlers bad eating habits, teaching our children bad study habits, and we’re creating a whining epidemic, too.

When you have a little baby, and you already feel out of your depth, it doesn’t take much to totally undermine your confidence as a parent. Having an expert tell you that your child has bad habits that will harm them and that it’s probably all your fault will almost certainly take the wind out of your sails. When I had my first child I had no idea what I was doing most of the time, and I felt like I was constantly making mistakes. I would have done pretty much anything that someone suggested to avoid messing up as a parent any more than I already felt I had.

I’m no longer the mother of a newborn, I’m the mother of a three-year-old and a six-year-old. I wouldn’t call myself a seasoned parent, exactly, but I’ve successfully made it through infancy and toddlerhood twice, and I know a thing or two. For instance, I know that if something isn’t working for you, you can always change it. When it comes to sleep, for instance, I have switched things up more times than I can count as my children have grown and their needs and abilities have evolved. I also know that every baby is different, and no two children will respond in exactly the same way to any particular parenting technique. And finally, I know that none of those experts have spent any time in my house, with my kids, navigating my day.

As I said, if you’re not happy with something, you can change it. If you’re so sleep-deprived you can’t see straight, then by all means you should find a solution that works for your family. But the problem I have with dire warnings about bad habits is that they can create fear in someone who was previously totally fine. And these warnings don’t always come from experts – sometimes they come from concerned relatives, or that friend with the miracle baby who somehow does everything right, or random people on the street who feel that you need their parenting wisdom. Once that grain of self-doubt is introduced though, you’re not so fine anymore.

I’ve said this before on this blog, but I think it bears repeating: if your child is healthy, and things are working for you, that’s all that matters. You don’t need to worry that how you respond to your two-month-old will create a lifetime of bad sleep habits. It’s simply not true. Your two-month-old will grow into a four-month-old and a four-year-old and a forty-year-old, and the issues you’re grappling with now will have long since disappeared. Your child will have grown out of their current habits – good, bad and otherwise – and into entirely new ones. And most of the time, this will happen without any input from you, because growing and changing is what kids do best.

When I hear the moms at the mom-and-baby-group beat themselves up because they’re afraid they’re creating bad habits in their children, I just want to give them a hug. And then I want to insist the phrase bad habits never be used in reference to babies and toddlers. New parents already have all the fear they need and more, we don’t need to pile it on even higher.

What do you think? Do you think that warning parents against instilling bad habits in their babies is helpful, or harmful? Do you think that very young babies can even form habits at all? And if you have more than one child, did you see them respond differently to your parenting tips and tricks? I’d love to hear!

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Podcast: Wendy Armbruster-Bell of Snugabell

on November 11, 2011 Leave a Comment

Wendy Armbruster-Bell was born and raised in Coquitlam – the community that I now call home. She lives less than 10 minutes from me, and we’ve been chatting online for years, but it was only recently that we got a chance to meet. She was at a local Momcafe event talking about her experience appearing on the CBC show Dragons’ Den, and I knew I had to attend so that I could finally connect with her in person.

PumpEase hands-free pumping bra snugabell podcast Wendy Armbruster-BellWendy is the mom behind Snugabell, a company that makes breastfeeding products. Most notably, Wendy designed the PumpEase hands-free pumping bra. The idea is that it holds the pump in place so that your hands are free to do other things – type, eat lunch, read a book, whatever suits your fancy. And her bras aren’t what you would describe as vanilla. She uses colourful fabrics and has a very tongue-in-cheek, flirtatious ad campaign. I knew that I wanted to to talk with her and hear more about her and the business she created.

Like me, Wendy has a background in technology. She worked for the phone company as a computer programmer, but she retained a love of fashion. This led her to attend a two-year fashion program at a local college. She started a business making patterns for clothing and other sewn products, and then she had two children. Like a lot of us, having her children changed her focus, and Snugabell was born as a result. During our podcast Wendy told me a lot more about how she got the idea for the PumpEase, and how her business has grown.

Podcast Wendy Armbruster-Bell of SnugabellWendy just recently launched the Toni Top, for pregnancy and breastfeeding, and she’s working on a line of maternity and nursing clothes. During our conversation, I really got the feeling that Wendy has a mission to make moms feel better about themselves. The postpartum period is not a time when we normally feel attractive and desirable. With her colourful pumping bras and flattering nursing tops, Wendy’s trying to bring a little bit of style and fun into a new mom’s life. I think that’s fabulous. Whether someone else ever sees your pumping bra or not, you do, and you deserve something that will make you feel happy.

Wendy and I could have gone on forever. I asked her about her experience on Dragons’ Den, and heard how she introduces her product to people who aren’t familiar with breastfeeding or pumping. I asked what drives her as an entrepreneur, and got the inside scoop on the clothing she’s creating next. Mostly, though, I just got a sense of a mom who’s making her dream into a reality, and nothing’s more inspiring than that. Listen to our full conversation here:

Interview with Wendy Armbruster-Bell of Snugabell [ 38:18 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

I’m still working on an interview for next week, so I can’t give you a preview. But you won’t want to miss it, so subscribe to the Strocel.com podcast and hear every minute!

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Talking to Christine Poirier of Momzelle

on September 24, 2011 2 Comments

What I love best about having a podcast is that it gives me the perfect excuse to email someone I think is cool and say, “Hey, I’d love to chat with you!” It adds a certain air of authority that just asking to pick someone’s brain doesn’t. This is how I found myself interview Christine Poirier, the mom behind Momzelle, a Canadian company that makes fabulous breastfeeding apparel.

Christine Poirier of Momzelle Breastfeeding ApparelChristine is a very creative person. Only a few days after her daughter Cécile was born, she made herself a nursing top so that she could breastfeed anywhere comfortably and confidently. Her midwife loved it and her friends loved it, and her brother Vincent saw the business potential. So when Cécile was nine months old, Christine and Vincent joined forces and co-founded Momzelle. They’ve been growing ever since, and so has their line of breastfeeding apparel.

I had lots of questions for Christine. I asked her what it’s like to work with your brother. I wanted to know if all of the babies on her site are actually breastfeeding (they are), and I was curious as to what a photo shoot with nursing moms looks like. I asked what happened to the original nursing top, and what’s coming up next for Momzelle. Christine was a very good sport, and she told me all about what it’s like to be a mom and an entrepreneur. There are highs and lows, of course, but I get the impression that Christine is right where she’s meant to be. I so enjoyed having the chance to speak with her.

Momzelle Breastfeeding Apparel Flamenco nursing dressThere are some exciting things happening with Momzelle right now. They’re growing all the time, launching new lines and tweaking the ones they have. Christine shared an exciting piece of news with me about what they’ll be doing next. So take the time to listen to the podcast, hear Christine’s answers to all of the questions I asked her, and learn about the mom and the breastfeeding apparel company she built:

Interview with Christine Poirier of Momzelle Breastfeeding Apparel [ 35:44 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

It was great chatting with Christine, and I really enjoyed the chance to learn more about Momzelle. I’m just as excited to tell you that next week I’ll be sharing an interview with children’s entertainers Bobs and LoLo. Subscribe to my podcast in iTunes, and you’ll be sure not to miss a thing!

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Interview with Melodie of Breastfeeding Moms Unite

on August 27, 2011 3 Comments

I think that the first time I met Melodie she sent me an email, introducing herself as a fellow British Columbia blogger with an interest in breastfeeding and natural parenting. Of course, I had to check out her blog, Breastfeeding Moms Unite! I found someone who was well-spoken, passionate and a strong advocate for causes she believes in.

Breastfeeding Moms Unite Melodie and girls hikingIt didn’t take long for Melodie and I to connect on Twitter and Facebook, and become fast online friends. That online friendship has even translated to a real-life meeting at my house. She was visiting the area and it was entirely too rainy to attempt a park playdate, so she dropped by with her lovely daughters and we had a great visit. I was thrilled to see the real-life person behind the online persona I’d come to know and love. We talked about seeing each other again sometime, and even made plans to be roommates at BlogHer 11.

But then, earlier this year, Melodie decided to stop blogging. It was something that came out of left field for many of us who know and love her, and even Melodie says that she made the decision on the spur of the moment. She was going through some massive changes in her life, and she realized that the time she spent online was no longer working for her family. I understood her decision, and I admired her ability to set personal boundaries, even as I lamented the loss of a blog I loved to visit.

Breastfeeding Moms Unite Melodie's avatarIt’s been more than seven months since she stopped blogging, so I decided to catch up with Melodie and see how things are going. Many of us know first-hand how difficult it is to work from home with small children, leaving us pulled in two different directions. I was curious to see whether Melodie’s decision to dramatically curtail her online activity had worked for her. Did it have the effect she hoped it would? How has her family life changed since she went offline? If she could make different decisions as a beginning blogger now that she’s had this experience, what would they be? Hear all of Melodie’s thoughts on her journey by listening to the podcast:

Talking with Melodie of Breastfeeding Moms Unite [ 39:53 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

I’m so grateful to Melodie for taking some time out of her day to speak with me, and I am grateful for the food for thought that she has given me. While I have no plans to stop blogging myself, I can take a page from Melodie’s book and consider what is and isn’t working in my own life, and then act accordingly.

Next week I’m sharing an interview with the sisters behind Bella and Charlie Designs, makers of handmade bibs and baby blankets. They have some exciting celebrity-related news to share. Subscribe to my podcast, and you won’t miss a minute of it!

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Chatting with the Chair of La Leche League Canada

on July 23, 2011 2 Comments

As I have mentioned repeatedly on my blog, my daughter Hannah was born at 34 weeks. This led to a number of breastfeeding problems, and unfortunately, not all of them were resolved by the time I left my midwives’ care when she was six weeks old. When I asked my midwife where I could turn for ongoing breastfeeding support when I wouldn’t be seeing her anymore, she suggested La Leche League. So I looked them up and found a group near me, and I went. I found much more than breastfeeding support there – I also found a community of friends.

Over the years since I first visited La Leche League, I have found that mentioning their name in a group often brings mixed reactions. Some people have incredibly warm feelings towards La Leche League, and others have incredibly negative feelings. I suspect that, at least in part, this is because when a woman is struggling with breastfeeding she’s in a very raw place, emotionally. I was, anyway. And when you’re in that situation, every stray comment is taken to heart and etched into your memory. I will never forget some of the things that nurses in the NICU said to me.

I thought it would be a good idea to get some information about La Leche League straight from the organization itself, so I got in touch with Fiona Audy, the Chair of La Leche League Canada. They’re currently celebrating 50 years in Canada, and they’ve recently launched a National Awareness Campaign. You can find out more about that, and the work that La Leche League Canada does, by watching this video:

Fiona has been a leader for over 25 years, and now she serves on the volunteer board, helping to support breastfeeding mothers and their babies all across Canada. I got to hear a little bit more about how she became involved with La Leche League (her first contact story is actually really funny), and I got to hear about how the organization works to help mothers breastfeed. It was great to catch up with her, and get a new perspective on the work that La Leche League does. If you’ve ever had an experience, good or bad, with La Leche League, you’ll want to hear what Fiona has to say.

Interview with Fiona Audy of La Leche League Canada [ 34:16 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

I am still working to track down my next podcast interview. I have a few leads, but I can’t make any announcements yet. This leads me to ask you a question that I’ve been meaning to ask for a while – is there anyone you’d like me to interview? If you have any suggestions for who you’d like to hear from on the Strocel.com Podcast, leave me a comment and let me know. I can’t make any promises, but I can certainly try!

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Chatting with Nonie from Mom’s Breastaurant

on June 11, 2011 Leave a Comment

Today, I’m happy to bring you the latest edition of the Strocel.com Podcast.

For years, I was a loyal subscriber of Mothering Magazine. When they ceased publication, I was tremendously sad. I looked forward to receiving my copy every month, I tried the recipes, I gained tips, and I felt I was part of a larger community. And it was through an article in Mothering in 2008 that I first learned about Mom’s Breastaurant.

Mom's BreastaurantMom’s Breastaurant is a non-profit organization that provides infant care stations at fairs and large events. It started as a place out of the sun and crowds to breastfeed, and expanded to provide some basic amenities like fans, change tables and some space for older children. They maintain a calendar of where they’re going next on their website, which is worth checking out. Most of their events are in the American West, but they’re expanding and growing all the time.

Nonie Veccia

Image by Tony Juniper

When I connected with Nonie Veccia, the mom behind the breastaurant on Twitter, I knew that I wanted to speak with her. She graciously accepted. I have to say, she is one busy lady. Pretty much every weekend she’s loading up her car and her kids and driving to one event or another. It’s a real labour of love, and she’s doing it on a volunteer basis because she sees a need. In some cases she even has to pay for the space to set up her booth at events she attends. And on top of all that she’s homeschooling her two kiddos and running two businesses.

Nonie and I talked about how Mom’s Breastaurant got its start, what she’s learned since starting it, and what you can do to help bring an infant care station to events near you. I really enjoyed chatting with her, and you can hear what she had to say by listening here:

Talking to Nonie Veccia from Mom's Breastaurant [ 22:38 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

After speaking to Nonie, I don’t feel quite as busy as I did. Mostly, though, I’m impressed by the lengths she’s gone to in order to make the world a little easier for families of babies and young children to navigate. It’s a story that I’m going to be drawing inspiration from for a long time.

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The Last Time I Breastfed

on June 4, 2011 7 Comments

I am currently coming down with a cold. Or something. I have a sore throat and a fever. The point is that I’m not feeling super-eloquent. And so I’m sharing a post with you that originally ran over at Crunchy Domestic Goddess. Enjoy!

Every morning, now, I look at the calendar and take note of the date. Because every day could be the last day I ever breastfeed my son Jacob. And maybe the last day that I ever breastfeed for the rest of my life. My second-born is weaning, and while I have pangs, there aren’t any more babies on the horizon for me right now.

I breastfed Jacob’s big sister, Hannah, until she was almost three years old. A whole lot of factors led to her weaning, including my desire to conceive again (I wasn’t having much luck), my increasing physical discomfort as my milk supply dwindled, and my belief that Hannah was ready to move on. I took a fairly active role in the process, which happened over a number of months.

Having a snack at the midwives picnic

Breastfeeding my daughter Hannah at a picnic

I still remember the last time that I nursed Hannah. It was December 22, 2007. Some part of me likes that I know that date, and remember the occasion. Breastfeeding played a big part in my relationship with my daughter in her early years, and it feels fitting that I marked its conclusion, as well as its beginning. I want to do the same thing with my son. I don’t want breastfeeding to pass away without notice, even though that’s exactly what seems to be happening.

Jacob is 31 months old, right now – three full months younger than Hannah was the last time that she breastfed. I didn’t expect I would be here so soon with my son, to be honest. Most of my friends and acquaintances nursed their second babies as long or longer than their first. I’m not trying to get pregnant right now, and I have less angst in general over the state of my breastfeeding relationship with Jacob. I thought I would nurse him until his third birthday, at least.

Jacob nursing

Nursing Jacob as a baby

But Jacob, as it turns out, is a different person altogether than Hannah. He’s gradually decreased his nursing all on his own. When he asks to nurse and it’s not a good time, he’s much faster to accept an alternative like a drink of water or a cuddle. There are no tears when I decline his request, no existential anguish bubbling to the surface. He’s a pretty easygoing kid, and he’s moving on to the next phase of his life without a lot of fuss.

I’ve breastfed for the past 6 years, with a break of a little under eight months during my second pregnancy. As I contemplate the potential conclusion of my nursing career, I feel a little wistful. Can it really be possible that I’m not pregnant or breastfeeding? That I am no longer the mother of a nursling? Is this the last gasp of babyhood leaving my family? I’m not sure I’m ready to close this chapter in my life.

Jacob is looking at books when he should be sleeping

Now that Jacob is no longer nursing to sleep, there are a lot of books at bedtime

And yet, when I consider Jacob’s imminent weaning, I don’t feel sad. I feel remarkably content. For him and for me, this feels like a fitting end to our breastfeeding relationship. We’re both moving towards it in our own way, and at our own pace. He’s ready, and I’m ready. I’m ready to have my body entirely to myself for the first time since I conceived my daughter almost seven years ago. I’m confident that I have given my son the best start I could, and that he has gotten what he needed out of breastfeeding. I don’t feel a need to encourage him back to the breast or prolong our time as a nursing pair.

And so, again today, I looked at the calendar. He nursed once, and I tried to remember the details. Where were we? What was it like? Will this be the last time? I memorize as much as I can, in case Jacob doesn’t breastfeed tomorrow, or the next day, or ever again. If this is the last time, I don’t want to forget it.

I’d love to hear about your own weaning experience. What was it like for you? Do you remember the last time you nursed, or not? Were you happy with how things ended? Please share!

PS – In the time between the original post and today, Jacob did wean. The last time that he nursed was on April 13, 2011, when he was exactly 32 months old. It may be the last time I ever nurse a baby at all. It was a mostly mutual decision, and both Jacob and I have moved smoothly on to the next phase of our relationship. Although, sometimes, I do lament how very quickly he is growing.

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