Strocel.com | Money

Podcast: Rachel Jonat on Minimalism and Motherhood

Amber on December 16, 2011 Leave a Comment

Rachel Jonat is a writer and mother who is currently making her home on the Isle of Man, a self-governing island located in the Irish Sea. Before that Rachel, who is better known as The Minimalist Mom, lived in Vancouver with her husband her toddler. They moved at the end of May, and I had the chance to chat with her as she was packing up and preparing to move her family overseas. We had a great talk about what inspired her to embrace a life of minimalism, how she maintains that lifestyle while caring for a toddler, and what stuff she won’t get rid of.

I recently had the chance to interview Rachel again for the Crafting my Life online class. She shared her thoughts and experiences around de-cluttering and making space in your life. During our interview, we also talked about Rachel’s new e-book, The Minimalist Mom’s Guide to Baby’s First Year. She published it recently, and it’s full of ideas for simplifying your life with your new baby. It’s quite a refreshing alternative to the message that we need to buy a whole lot of stuff to prepare for a new arrival. Yes, there are some basic items that babies need, but any experienced mom can tell you about at least one item she bought that ended up being a total waste of money. (Mine? The swing. My babies hated it. It was big and expensive. I regret the purchase.)

I received a review copy of the e-book, and I enjoyed it. It’s not really applicable for me as the mom of a three-year-old and a six-year-old, but think it would have been really helpful when I was expecting my first child. Rachel shares her tips for how you can be a minimalist at a time when most people are out scouring the Babies R Us in search of lots and lots of gear. I remember picking up a catalogue from Babies R Us when I was pregnant with Hannah, in fact, and it had a shopping list that included dozens and dozens of items. I left the store with that catalogue feeling totally overwhelmed and unprepared. An e-book that reassured me that I did not, in fact, need a bouncy seat and a pack ‘n play and a bassinette and a crib and a glider and a swing would have saved me some angst, I can tell you.

I recently listened to the podcast I did with Rachel this spring, and even after hearing it a few times I picked up some new ideas about simplifying my own life. In honour of Rachel’s e-book launch I’m sharing my interview with her again. If you want tips on how to simplify and live a more meaningful life, or you want to know how Rachel eliminated tens of thousands of dollars of debt, you should take a listen:

Interview with Rachel Jonat, the Minimalist Mom [ 30:22 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Next week I’m going to be sharing an interview I did with Susan Larkin of UNICEF Canada. She’ll be talking about exactly what UNICEF does and what makes the organization unique, as well as sharing information on their Survival Gifts program. If you’re looking for a great last-minute holiday gift, check them out, and buy something that will really make a difference. For example, if you can’t decide what to buy for your child’s teacher, you could equip a whole school in the developing world with pencils for $20. Subscribe to the Strocel.com podcast in iTunes, and you won’t miss a minute!

Now, I want to hear from you. What did you buy for your kids that you totally didn’t end up using? Tell me!

Disclosure: The e-book links are affiliate links, which means that if you purchase the book I will receive a small commission.

Tagged With: Interview, Money, Parenting, Podcast, Space

Blogging, Ads and Money

Amber on July 14, 2011 11 Comments

It’s Thursday, so I’m Crafting my Life! This year, I’m just writing about whatever is currently on my mind. I invite you to do the same. If you would like to chime in and contribute a guest post about your own journey, please drop me a line.

Last week I mentioned that I was planning on writing a big announcement-type post on Thursday for Crafting my Life, but I didn’t get around to it. So, as promised, I’m tackling this today. But before I make any announcements, let me give you a little background.

When I started blogging in 2003 I didn’t really even understand what blogging was. I sort of fumbled along on my own for the longest time. Pretty much only my close friends and family visited, and I rarely received comments. And then sometime in late 2008 things changed. I started connecting with the blogging community, and I finally got it. Blogging wasn’t just about me writing blog posts, it was about reaching out beyond myself to other people.

As I reached out beyond my own sandbox, I noticed that other people were using their blogs as money-making vehicles. They ran sponsored reviews and had advertising and received free gifts. I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt about that, to be honest. On the one hand, being paid for something I was doing already sounded great. On the other hand, I knew I would be very choosy about what kind of advertising I wanted to run alongside my kids’ baby pictures.

After some internal debate, I decided that it would be OK to run ads as long as I retained a degree of control. I settled on the BlogHer Publishing Network, and my ads went up in mid-2009. I liked it because it was easy, and it allowed me to choose what kinds of ads I would and would not accept. At first, I made about $25 a month. It was obviously not the path to riches, but it was essentially free, because I didn’t have to do anything differently to earn it. It was a way to cover my web hosting costs and that kind of thing.

In my experience, blogging is not a way to earn easy money. It’s hard work to build a successful platform, and the relative payback for that work is small. I think that for most bloggers the rewards aren’t financial, they come in the form of community and connections. And that’s great. If you want to build something beyond that, then you can use the platform you build through blogging to launch something else entirely. Like, say, writing a book or creating a business. The fan base you build online can translate into success in other areas.

I kept the BlogHer ads because, as I said, they were basically free money to cover my hosting. But then my revenues started to drop off. I went from making $25 a month to making less than $10, even as my traffic grew. BlogHer themselves said that blog revenue models are changing, and then they decided to change the terms of my contract and I just couldn’t see signing on. I spoke to some other folks about other networks, but I quickly realized that I have a big problem. Strocel.com is my personal blog, so I am not willing to advertise products here that I don’t agree with. And, big hippie that I am, I disagree with a lot of products.

The folks I would be happy to accept advertising from typically don’t have much money. For example, I would love to run ads from other moms who sell their handmade goods on Etsy. Those are my people. But many of them simply can’t afford to fork over cash for ads, and I get that. I tried to run my own handmade goods business, too, I understand that margins are razor-thin, or maybe even non-existent.

It’s something of a conundrum, but I’m going to give it a go. I’ve decided to reduce my monthly advertising rates significantly. In addition, from time to time I’ll be running deals and contests for free advertising spots – but not here. If you are a parent who runs your own business and you think you’d like to advertise on Strocel.com, then you can stay in the loop by subscribing to my advertising mail list here. When you sign up you’ll receive my rate sheet, as well as periodic updates when spaces are open or I’m offering discounts or deals. Or just drop me a line and we’ll chat.

I’ll try selling my own ads for a while and see how it works. I’ve always found sales kind of intimidating, but I like the idea of partnering with people who are doing awesome things to help them get their message out. I still won’t be making the big bucks, and I’m OK with that. But I’ve also made my peace with the idea that I deserve some kind of remuneration for the work I’m putting in to create this online space. But all the same, I promise I will continue to protect my blog fiercely, because my personal integrity matters far more to me than advertising revenue.

Do you blog? Do you run ads? How do you decide what ads to run (or not run)? And what has been your experience with advertising networks? I’d love to hear!

Tagged With: Bloggy McBloggerson, Crafting my Life, Money, Navel Gazing

My Little Luxuries

Amber on June 3, 2011 20 Comments

I do not have sophisticated taste. I tend to choose comfort over beauty, and function over form. I happily buy nearly all of my clothes second-hand – although I do draw the line at anything you could classify as an “intimate” and socks. I guess we all have our limits.

While I think of myself as easy to please, there are some things that I am kind of snobbish about. Things that I will splurge on, or spend more money on to get better quality. Call them the little luxuries that make life worth living.

Things Amber is Really Quite Snobby About

1. Children’s toys. I love waldorf-inspired, open-ended children’s toys made of natural materials. It is the great tragedy of my life that my children prefer cheap plastic beepy things. When I’m doing the shopping, you know that they’re getting something that I’ve rubbed with beeswax polish. Am I creating future therapist fodder? Perhaps, but I know their toys are safe, they won’t annoy me and they’ll last.

2. Sushi. There are places to scrimp, but any food that contains raw fish is just not one of them. At least, not if you have anything against parasites.

3. Butter. Real butter is worth every penny, and it tastes way better than any substitute. It’s not a massive splurge, but I’m becoming increasingly uncompromising in this regard.

4. Eggs. Issues with dyeing eggs for Easter notwithstanding, I pay the premium to buy my eggs from the farmer’s market, from people I trust. Failing that, I go free range and organic.

5. My iPhone. Is it a necessity? No. Do I love it beyond all reason? Yes. Would I buy another kind of phone? Probably not.

6. Name brand painkillers. I know it’s the same stuff, intellectually. But somehow, “Tylenol” just sounds ever so much nicer than “acetaminophen”. You know?

7. Blackberries. This isn’t a cost thing, since I pick my blackberries for free, but I firmly believe that only fresh-picked ripe blackberries are worth eating. Luckily, they grow in abundance along the roadsides here. Any other kind of blackberry just doesn’t taste the same.

8. Art supplies. Cheap art supplies just don’t last as long, and they’re not as nice to work with. So I buy my kids the expensive crayons and the nice paper. It’s what I would want to use.

9. Bras. Life is too short to wear an ill-fitting bra just because it was a great deal. Although with the way that I cling to long-dead brassieres, I should take my own advice, here.

I’m sure there’s more, but that’s all I can think of for now. I would like to hear your thoughts, though. What are you willing to splurge on? And what do you feel quite snobbish about? Please share!

Tagged With: Money, Navel Gazing

Appointments with my Husband

Amber on March 31, 2011 12 Comments

It’s Thursday, so I’m Crafting my Life! I’m hard at work on the second run of the Crafting my Life course, so I thought I’d share some thoughts that have come out of the class material on money. As always, if you would like to chime in and contribute a guest post about your own journey, please drop me a line – I’d love to have you!

One of the topics that we cover in the Crafting my Life class is money. It’s not exactly the easiest and most fun week in the class, but it is one of the most important. Money, and our relationship to it, shapes a lot of our behaviours and actions. It can make us stay in a job that we hate, it can keep us from having the things we want, and it can change our status in society. Money is tied to value in our culture. Just consider the phrase “net worth“, and you’ll see what I mean.

I’ve heard that money is the leading cause of divorce. As someone who’s been married for 10 years, I can see how that would be true. Sharing finances can be stressful, and it can trigger a lot of our issues surrounding security and happiness. If we’re not on the same financial page with our partner, it can be even more difficult. But getting on the same page isn’t always so easy.

As part of the class content on money, I interviewed Sierra Black. In addition to her fabulous parenting blog, she also writes at the financial blog Get Rich Slowly. I wanted her thoughts on how to share finances with someone without turning it into a battle. And she came through for me, with a suggestion to have regularly scheduled money meetings.

My husband Jon and I are usually on the same financial page, more or less. We’re both reasonably frugal people who don’t spend a lot on ourselves. But even so, we’ve had our fair share of disagreements when it comes to spending and saving, like any couple married for 10 years. We can’t be the only ones who’ve started a discussion about something seemingly innocuous, like what the vegetable garden will look like this year, and had it turn into an all-out argument about family finances. It takes up a lot of space and energy, and it’s not exactly my idea of a good time.

So we decided to take Sierra’s suggestion. Once a week, now, we sit down and talk about our money. If something comes up between meetings, we put it on the agenda. It sounds kind of ridiculous and formal to have weekly appointments with my husband to discuss finances, but it really works. It frees up time and mental space during the week, and it gives us the opportunity to both be heard and be sure that we’re on the same page. It’s actually been a very freeing experience, which isn’t what you’d probably expect from a money meeting, but I’m taking it.

While the money meetings are great, our relationship with money remains a constantly-evolving work in progress. That’s the way that life is. And so I’d love to hear how you and your partner have gotten on the same financial page. How do you share money and share a life without creating too much stress? Did you marry someone with the same financial views as you, or are you total opposites? Please tell me!

PS – Advance discount registration for Crafting my Life is now open. You get all the living with intention for $50 less than everyone else! How can you lose? Subscribe to my mail list to get the registration link.

Tagged With: Crafting my Life, Marriage, Money, Navel Gazing

Crafting my Life Launch

Amber on December 18, 2010 5 Comments

Today is a big (huge! astronomical!) day for me, because today advanced registration for Crafting my Life opens. Which, if you’re hearing about it for the first time, is a 12 week online course on living with intention that I’m creating. If you’re on my email list, you can sign up for the class from now until December 25 for $97, which is $20 less than the early bird price and $50 less than the regular price.

I’ve been hard at work on Crafting my Life. I’m building the online community. I’m interviewing some fabulous people. I’m making videos. I’m writing course content. And I’m really stretching myself in new directions. I’m amazed at how it’s all coming together, and I am really proud of how it’s shaping up. I think it’s going to be something special, and I’m busting my butt to make sure it’s all done before the first session starts on January 15.

I’m learning a lot as I work on my course. The things I really worried about up front have actually not been so hard. The things I didn’t worry about are taking up a lot of time. But mostly, I’m discovering that I can do a whole lot more than I thought I could. When I get a new idea I usually feel elated, and drunk with possibility. But before long, my dragons pipe up with all the things that could go wrong. They want to save me from failing by keeping me from trying. Often, they sound very practical in their concerns.

With Crafting my Life I’ve decided to listen to my dragons, and then do it anyway. When they raise a good point, I consider it, deal with it, and move on. I am starting to wonder what my life would be like if I did this more. If, instead of thinking, “Oh, everything could go horribly, woe is me, maybe I’ll hide under my desk,” I thought, “OK, let’s figure out how to make this happen!”

Of course, not every project that we undertake is a winner. I’m constantly terrified that Crafting my Life will not be a winner. But I’ve adopted a motto I heard from the fabulous Jenny: “We’re fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.” I am going to face setbacks and failures whether I try new things or whether I don’t. So I might as well try new things. I might as well embrace new experiences. And I might as well discover all the cool things I actually can do.

If Crafting my Life is your thing, I hope you’ll head on over and subscribe to the email list if you haven’t already. You’ll get all the info you need about registering for the class. And if it’s not your thing, I’d really appreciate your good wishes and encouragement. No one can ever have too many of those.

Now, tell me. Have you ever done something big that you were afraid of? Or maybe just because you were afraid of it? I’d love to hear all about it!

Tagged With: Bloggy McBloggerson, Crafting my Life, Money, Navel Gazing

Embracing Simplicity

Amber on June 24, 2010 17 Comments

It’s Thursday and I’m Crafting my Life! June’s theme is money. Which is hard, but important. In the past few weeks I explored my money issues, the ins and outs of sharing finances and dealing with an unpredictable cash flow. Today I’m talking about embracing simplicity.

While I was on vacation I went to the spa. I got a mid-week deal that included a whole bunch of things, one of which was a non-stop tapas lunch. I was especially looking forward to that – eating in a robe and slippers, by myself, with two hands. It sounded lovely. And it really was. They offered me a selection of the most popular menu items to start with, and then as much as I wanted after that. It sounded good, so I agreed and my food started arriving.

The food really was amazing. I watched the birds in the trees out the window, sipped my tea, and feasted on snack-sized portions of this gourmet cuisine. The only thing is that it just kept coming. All of it was amazingly good. I ate every bite. Around the 8th dish I was starting to feel full. When the last of the chef’s selection came, I had eaten 15 or 16 plates of tapas. I was more full than I have been in a long time, possibly ever. So full that I didn’t feel good anymore.

When we have a full plate of food in front of us, many of us feel compelled to finish it. I feel that way myself. If I give myself a half serving of food I am totally satisfied, but I am unlikely to stop eating a big plate half-way. When it’s in front of me, I eat it. Because there are starving children in Africa. Or something.

Money can be very similar to food. If you have a lot of it, you somehow magically use it all up. Many of us have found that as our incomes rise, our expenses seem to rise, too. And it can be hard to know when to say ‘enough’. There are so many lovely, lovely things that we would like to have. Handbags and shoes and smart phones and fabulous vacations. In the non-stop tapas meal of life, there is always something to catch our eye and make us say, “Maybe just one more bite.”

One of the biggest shifts in my life was realizing that what I had was already ‘enough’. I am speaking from a total place of privilege here, I know it. But I think that a lot of people in our culture are in the same place. We have everything that we need, and a lot of stuff that we don’t really need, too. Having more things, while they might give us a temporary thrill, will not really affect our overall happiness level. It won’t bring us satisfaction.

As I try to create a new lifestyle for myself, simplifying plays a large part. That means learning to tell the difference between a need and a want. It’s not easy, not by a long shot. I can convince myself that I need all sorts of things – like a spa day, for example. Or some fancy cheese. But the truth is, these things are luxuries. If I can understand that my life is very full and I don’t really need more stuff, I feel happier.

I’ve learned that the mall is not the place to find to financial security or personal satisfaction. There will always be another Thing to buy there, and another, and another. This doesn’t mean that if you like to shop from time to time you’re doing anything wrong. I see nothing wrong with making mindful purchases of frivolous items that you can afford. A good lipstick can turn your day around, for sure. But it can’t turn your life around, or make your kids better behaved, or your house bigger. Understanding that is the key.

If the mall isn’t the place to find satisfaction, where is? I think it’s the places I go every day. When I look around and see the simple abundance of my life I feel joy. They always say it’s the little things, and they’re right. Things that cost hardly anything are what really make me happy. Picking a strawberry from my garden, or watching my kids blow dandelion seeds to the wind. Racing my 5-year-old across a field. Reading a good book. So even if it isn’t always easy, I work every day to remind myself that I have everything that I need already. I don’t need to go looking for it.

Making this choice for yourself is the key, I think. When a simple lifestyle is imposed on you, it’s not much fun. But when you embrace simplicity of your own free will, it can be awesome. That’s what I’m trying to do. I’m trying to mindfully choose a life that involves more time and less stuff. I think it’s the right choice for me. Especially with the occasional spa day thrown in once every few years for good measure.

What brings you real happiness? And how do you know when you’ve had enough? I’d love to hear. And I’d also love it if you would link up any posts you’ve written on money this month. Or just read the other posts, and feel inspired!

Tagged With: Crafting my Life, Money, Navel Gazing

Dealing with Unpredictable Cash Flow

Amber on June 17, 2010 18 Comments

It’s Thursday and I’m Crafting my Life! June’s theme is money. Which is hard, but important. In the past couple of weeks I explored my money issues and the ins and outs of sharing finances. This week I’m talking about handling an unpredictable cash flow.

One of the biggest perks of working at a traditional job is having a predictable cash flow. Every two weeks, as if by magic, money just shows up in your bank account. The amount is pretty much always the same, and you know exactly how much it will be. You can plan for it. It makes it easy to set up things like automated bill payments and scheduled savings.

The benefits of a predictable, stable income extend beyond planning. When you apply for a mortgage or a car loan, it’s much easier to get accepted if you have a traditional job. Loan officers and creditors like stability as much as anyone, and maybe even a little more. When Jon was running his own business and I was working as an engineer, we put our mortgage and our car loan in my name. It was just easier that way.

Now that I’m setting out on this journey of crafting my life, I don’t have the same kind of stability and predictability. My husband has been self-employed in various capacities and at various levels pretty much his whole adult life, and so I know how it goes. Running your own business is a very feast or famine thing. You can make a lot of money in a short amount of time, but then you might not make anything more for ages. If you’re going to make sure that your bills get paid, you need some sort of system to handle the fluctuations.

I am not a financial expert. And I only have experience with Canada, and even then only one province, so my advice should definitely not substitute for a good lawyer and a good accountant. All the same, I have been down this road once or twice. Here are my hints for dealing with an unpredictable income:

Consider incorporating. In most places, corporations pay less tax than people do. Which is possibly unfair, but it can work to your advantage in this case. If you make enough money, the savings from incorporating can cover the legal expenses of setting up your own company. And you will be able to write off your business expenses (possibly including a portion of your personal expenses to run a home office), to boot.
Set up a separate business bank account for your business-related income and expenses. It makes everything much easier when you can easily separate your personal cash flow from your business cash flow. Especially taxes.
Determine how much money you need every month to run your business and how much money you need every month to keep food on your table. Ideally, your annual income should be at least the same as your annual expenses, although that might not be the case in the beginning. All the same, knowing what you’re working with helps you understand the viability of your business.
When money comes into your business, save it. You will need it later when money isn’t coming in and your kid needs braces or your car breaks.
Set up a monthly draw from your business to your personal account in the amount of your monthly personal expenses. Since you hopefully are making enough over the course of a year to cover this, you shouldn’t have to put your business into overdraft. This gives you assurance that you will be able to pay for your basic living expenses regardless of whether your business is in ebb or flow.
Insurance is your friend. When you have a job, you are usually covered by health, disability and even life insurance. When you’re self-employed, you need to figure this out on your own, and it’s even more critical because if you don’t work, you don’t get paid. Good insurance can avert disaster later.
Be prepared for every financial transaction to be a total pain in the butt. There are all sorts of rules governing business bank accounts, and all sorts of paperwork to go along with it. If you know this, it can cut down on your frustration when it happens.

What about you? Do you have any methods for handling an unpredictable cash flow? I’d love to hear them!

June’s Crafting my Life series is about money. On the last Thursday of the month, which just happens to be the 24th, I will include a link up. To participate, write a post on this month’s theme anytime in June, or track down a post you’ve written on the subject sometime in the past, and add yourself to the list. Then read everyone else’s ideas and thoughts and be inspired! Check out the link-ups from January, February and March to get a feel for how it works.

Tagged With: Crafting my Life, Money

Yours, Mine and Ours

Amber on June 10, 2010 19 Comments

It’s Thursday and I’m Crafting my Life! June’s theme is money. Which is hard, but important. Last week I explored my money issues. This week I explore the ins and outs of sharing finances with my husband Jon. Money can be one of the hardest parts of marriage, after all.

Jon and I have pretty similar approaches to money. We are both savers, and we both like having money in the bank. We also both take the time regularly to stay on top of our finances, and keep track of where our money is going. We talk about money a lot, in terms of planning and budgeting. We generally see eye-to-eye on our finances. And even when we don’t, our values are similar enough that we can talk through our disagreement and reach consensus. It works for us.

On the other hand, because Jon and I have similar approaches to handling money, we tend to reinforce each other. We both look to money for security, and avoid spending. This has kept us on the financial up-and-up, generally speaking. But it’s also kept us from enjoying our money or spending it in ways that could grow a business or net us future rewards. There is no counter-balance to our viewpoint, and sometimes I’m not sure that’s all good.

I suppose it’s not surprising that Jon and I have similar views, when you consider that we’ve grown up together in so many ways. When I started dating him I was in grade 9 and so was he. We were spending our babysitting and paper route income to go to the occasional movie, we weren’t exactly rolling in dough. As our shared income and lifestyle has grown, we’ve figured it out together. Since our experience is shared, so is our perspective.

Jon and I have shared all of our money for almost 10 years. Before we got married we opened our joint bank account. All of our income goes into this account, and all of our expenses come out of it. We did keep individual accounts so that we could have some ‘fun money’ of our own to play with, but that largely fell by the wayside when we took on expenses like a house and children. Pretty much everything is shared jointly, regardless of who’s earning more at the time.

Over the course of our marriage, the primary income-earner has shifted back and forth a couple of times. Right now, with me at home, it’s Jon, but it hasn’t always been this way. For many years it was my engineering job that paid the mortgage. By keeping our finances together, we’ve made it less about what I make or what Jon makes, and more about what we make. I like it that way – it feels more equitable.

I haven’t given up all of my financial autonomy, though. It’s important to me that I have my own credit score and financial history. People get hit by buses, after all, and when that happens it can be a problem if you haven’t used credit in your own name in more than a decade. So I maintain a credit card of my own, and several of the household bills are in my name. Jon does the same thing. While we share our money, we also try to ensure that we are both maintaining our own independent financial lives in the eyes of the world.

I don’t think that the way that we handle money in our marriage is the way that everyone should handle money. We all need to work out our own paths. I do think that, at minimum, it’s important that you can talk about this with your partner. It’s important to be up front and honest about money, and make sure that everyone understands what’s happening. Because as much as marriage is about love, it’s at least as much about money and the business of managing lives. Romantic? Not so much. But important nonetheless.

How about you? How do you and your partner approach your shared finances? Or do you share finances? I’d love to hear all about it.

Tagged With: Crafting my Life, Marriage, Money, Navel Gazing

My Money, Myself

Amber on June 3, 2010 14 Comments

It’s Thursday and I’m Crafting my Life! June’s theme is money. Which is hard, but important. This week, I explore my money issues. How can this fail to be riveting?

I am all about security. I like to know what’s going to happen next. I have been in the same relationship since I was 15 years old. I have lived a very conventional life. Maybe it’s because my childhood wasn’t always predictable, and I didn’t always feel secure. Or maybe it’s just who I am. Whatever the reason, I like feeling as if I have a cushion and a fall-back plan at all times.

This need for security plays out in my approach to money. I love nothing more than putting my money in the bank and looking at a nice, healthy account balance. Sure, new shoes are nice and vacations are lovely, but they can’t compare to the security of knowing that I have a healthy emergency fund. I like having my bases covered against eventualities both known and unknown.

Money is one big reason that I loved being an engineer. I was a professional, and I was paid like one. My salary was ample to meet my needs and many of my wants. It allowed me to sock money away for a rainy day. Whether the rainy day happened or not didn’t really matter. Whether I had any fun or not didn’t really matter. That wasn’t the point.

Then I was laid off, and I decided to switch my life around. I decided that maybe I could take my severance and those savings I’d been racking up, and do something with them. Take a chance, and find a different kind of freedom. This new freedom would rely less on my savings account, and more on my passion. It would be less about securing myself against disaster, and more about embracing the moment. The possibilities made me almost giddy.

Unfortunately, I haven’t found it that easy to shed my compulsive need for security. Over decades I created a very well-constructed image of myself based around my financial responsibility. I always Do The Right Thing. I don’t buy things I can’t afford. I pay my bills in full and on time. I have an excellent credit score. These aspects of my personal story are very important to my image of myself, and it’s not easy to let go of them.

Since I left the corporate world my self-image has taken a hit. I don’t get that paycheque deposited into my bank account every other week. My bank account is not as full as it once was. My picture of myself as being Super Responsible With Money is starting to fall apart. Let me be clear – I know where my grocery money is coming from. But on the other hand, if a meteor fell on my house I might not have enough socked away to spend 6 months in a hotel during re-building. And I don’t get as much joy out of trolling my savings and seeing the pretty, pretty numbers.

In spite of my personal discomfort, I do believe that passion is more important than security. Even if my self-worth is struggling. Passion doesn’t lend itself as well to planning, and there are no guarantees. So the best that I can do, now, is keep my eyes on my goal. Remind myself why I’m doing this and find security in other things. Things like the people around me.

People are the most important thing. We support each other, we work together, and we share dreams and goals. I think that this is where true happiness and security is found. So I am working out some of my money issues. I am recognizing that money is just a tool. My self-worth and happiness aren’t related to how much I have or don’t have. I don’t have to look for security in a number. At least, this is what I tell myself. Slowly, slowly I am starting to believe it.

How does your feeling of self-worth and security relate to your bank account balance? And how does your relationship with money factor into your own story of yourself? Please share!

Tagged With: Crafting my Life, Money, Navel Gazing

Is Blogging the Path to Dreams?

Amber on March 25, 2010 35 Comments

It’s Thursday and I’m Crafting my Life! March’s theme is blogging. In previous weeks I talked about blogging your dreams, about how bloggers are real people, and about the ins and outs of building community through blogging. This week I am talking about what blogging can and can’t do for you. I also have links at the end of this post to some other fabulous bloggers and their thoughts on blogging, so be sure to check them out!

I run ads on my blog through BlogHer’s advertising network. I put the ads up around 9 months ago, and I don’t regret the decision. BlogHer has been easy to work with and responsive, they allow me to opt out of certain types of campaigns and they build community within their network by posting links to selected posts with each ad block. Plus, I don’t have to do any work beyond cutting and pasting a code into my sidebar, they handle all of the ad sales and so on.

While I am generally happy with the advertising arrangement I’ve got here, it is not a path to riches. On average, I have made around $25 USD per month from my ads. Still, it’s $25 for something I’m doing anyways, and with no effort on my part. Over the 6 months I have been paid for so far, I averaged around 8000 page views per month (BlogHer pays for page views, not clicks). My current monthly page views are higher, but there is a lag between when the ads are viewed and when I am paid. I am sharing these numbers in spite of my qualms because I think you might genuinely be interested.

My point is this – blogging and blog monetization, for most of us, are not a path to riches. It would be lovely if working part-time from home, writing about our daily lives with children, made us the big bucks. Unfortunately, in my experience, that is not realistic. Yes, some bloggers have done it. But they have worked hard to do it, putting in time and effort and facing more setbacks than we probably know. Dooce, for example, started blogging in 2001, and gained notoriety when she was fired because of her blog in 2002. She has been blogging for 9 years. The fact that ‘dooced‘ is now a slang word testifies to the fact that she’s paid her dues.

If blog montetization isn’t a path to financial freedom, why do I do it? Why do I spend hours each week writing this blog and visiting other blogs? First and foremost, I blog because I love it. I love writing, I love reading what other people have to say, and if I’m honest I rather enjoy the attention. This is my creative outlet and my sacred space, and I am not just saying that. Compensation would be icing on the cake, but I relish this cake straight up. I also love the community I’ve found here. If it weren’t for this community I wouldn’t have had the wherewithal to even ask myself what my dreams were, let alone actually pursue them. These are the happy, fuzzy reasons I blog.

There are less happy, altruistic reasons that I blog, too. I believe that while blogging isn’t an end, it can be a means to an end. I want to write, and I want to speak, and I want to teach. My big dream is to help other moms like me, moms who find themselves at a juncture and aren’t sure which way to go. Moms who are struggling to find balance and a space for themselves in their own lives. Moms who are just starting out and feeling overwhelmed and lost and need someone to help them through. Hopefully, I will figure out a way to get paid to follow this dream. In the meantime, this blog is my practice ground. It is a place where I can try things out, it is a place where I can find other people to bounce ideas off of, it is a way to gather an audience and provide information to people who might be interested in hearing what I have to say.

I don’t know how my dreams will turn out. I don’t know what role blogging will or won’t play in where I end up 10 years from now. But I really believe it will play some part, if only because this exercise has changed me. It has helped me to find my voice and find myself. This blog might not be the road to unspeakable fortune, but it doesn’t have to be. And as long as I know that, as long as I’m not counting on a big cheque from my ad network that may never come, I think I’ll be OK.

Now it’s your turn. Have you written a post about blogging? If so, enter the details below. And whether you have or not, go check out these other blogs for some inspiration or helpful advice.