Election Night Bingo

on November 7, 2012 2 Comments

I’m writing this post on the day it will be published, which is unusual for me. But last night was election night in the US, and I was glued to my TV watching the coverage. I couldn’t tear myself away to write. It was the culmination of months – no, years – spent watching The Daily Show, reading The New York Times, and just generally taking interest in how politics functions in the US. What are the latest returns in Florida? Have they projected a winner in Ohio yet? When will Obama give his victory speech? I had to see it all.

As I watched, I heard a number of phrases repeated over and over. I am far too straight-laced to participate in an election night drinking game, but there would have been ample opportunity to become completely inebriated. It seems that election coverage follows a very predictable pattern, and with hours and hours of airtime to fill, and new people tuning in all the time who need updates, it’s no surprise that it can get a little bit repetitive.

election night 2012

Election Night Bingo

After last night, I’ve identified a few phrases that would make for an excellent game of Election Night Bingo. I may save them for 2016:

  • Let’s look at the big map.
  • Too close to call.
  • It’s all about Ohio.
  • Let’s go county-by-county.
  • Steel belt.
  • We have a reporter on the ground in [insert name of county where nothing is actually happening]. Let’s go there and find out what’s happening.
  • Red state.
  • Blue state.
  • Demographics.
  • Let’s compare that to 2008 / 2004 / 2000.
  • Reports of long line-ups.
  • Exit polls.
  • We’re just seconds away from another projection.
  • It’s not over yet. and/or There are a lot of votes left to count.
  • Immigration.
  • Health care reform.
  • The women’s vote.
  • The African American vote.
  • Stronghold.
  • Battleground.
  • Electoral college.
  • Popular vote.

I could literally go on all day. But I’ll stop, before the election night flashbacks get too bad.

What about you? Did you watch the election coverage last night? What words or phrases would you add to my bingo sheet?

Filed Under: Random Awesomeness Tagged With: , ,

Casting a Vote for Hope

on November 6, 2012 7 Comments

Today, as anyone who lives within earshot of a television likely knows, is Election Day in the US. And it’s not just any Election Day – it’s a Presidential Election Day. While my fellow Canadians and I either watch with interest or do our best to ignore it, our neighbours to the south are choosing the next leader of the free world.

As an outside observer, I have a number of opinions on the US electoral system. Like, say, the Electoral College. What’s up with that? But mostly, I choose to see hope. I’ve watched my friends as they write about the election on their blogs, tweet about the issues, post on Facebook and take Instagram photos of political signs and slogans. What I see are people who care. People who are engaged in the process, and working to make a difference.

Voting can easily feel like a futile act, when you’re one of tens of millions of people casting a ballot. While there are those examples of elections that were lost or won by the thinnest of margins, the reality is that most of the time, any one person’s vote doesn’t make a huge difference. It’s even more stark when you’re casting a vote that you know will not be on the winning side. Why drag yourself down to the polling place to stand in line and then lose? Wouldn’t it be easier to just order in pizza and set yourself up with a Harry Potter marathon?

voting election day hope

And yet, people vote. In the United States, in Canada, and all over the world, people vote, sometimes risking their own personal safety to do so. We show up, and we mark our ballots, in an act that is simultaneously miniscule and deeply profound. We do it because we refuse to surrender our voices. We do it because we know that together, we can make a difference. We do it because we believe that participating in a democracy matters.

Tonight, I will be one of the Canadians who is glued to my TV, eagerly watching the returns come in. Like every election that I have watched, I know that this one will move me to tears. The thrill of victory and agony of defeat are laid out in stark relief. But mostly, I will be crying tears of hope at the wonder of countless people of all kinds, giving up their time and showing up to vote. I may not agree with all of their political views, and we may not support the same candidates. But in a polling booth, everyone is equal, everyone matters, and everyone is working together to create a government. You don’t have to see eye-to-eye to see how amazing that is.

So, please, if you are one of my American friends, take the time to be hopeful and vote. It will be the very best thing you could do with your day.

Filed Under: Random Awesomeness Tagged With: ,

Amanda Todd, Anonymous, and Maternal Rage

on October 17, 2012 11 Comments

It’s rare for me to feel as fired up as I do right now about a blog post. I’m going to try to cogently lay out my feelings about the Amanda Todd suicide – an event that happened in my own backyard. I’m not sure I have a whole lot to offer to the discussion. As a child I wasn’t bullied, and I don’t believe I acted as a bully. I’m not an expert on bullying or cyber-stalking, and I’m not an educator. But I am a parent. As someone who’s trying to sort it all out, I feel a strong need to talk about it all in this space. I hope you’ll take the time to join in and share your thoughts as I share mine.

Amanda Todd’s story has hit close to home for me. If you don’t follow the news (and I wouldn’t blame you), I’ll give you a brief synopsis. One week ago, on October 10, 2012, the 15-year-old girl took her own life. She was driven to this following years of bullying, online and in real life. In September she posted a video to YouTube, which tells her story. I was only able to get through half of it, before I was crying too much to continue. It explains how one brief event, which she viewed as a mistake, led to years of stalking, even as she moved schools.

Amanda Todd attended school in the same district as my own children. The high school she was last enrolled at is about 10 minutes from my house by car. I’m sure that I know someone who knew her, or who knows a member of her family. The proximity, if nothing else, has only driven home the point that no one is immune. This could happen to one of the girls in my daughter’s class, if not my daughter herself. By the same token, any of the kids I see at drop-off and pick-up every day could engage in bullying behaviour, and likely at least some of them will during their school careers. Both of those roles carry a lifelong burden. That’s sobering and scary to me as a parent.

Anti-Bullying Artwork
Photo Credit: artworksbytb on Flickr

I don’t know what could have been done to prevent Amanda Todd’s bullying and suicide. I believe bullying is a complex issue, with no single clear-cut answer. Of course, I speak with my children about bullying, and do my best to teach them to be kind and caring individuals. I know there are programs in place in schools, and I’ve watched teachers respond to name-calling and hitting. I think they’re doing the very best they can. Could they do better? I’m sure they could always do better – but they need tools and resources and community support. Parents do as well. There’s no single person or organization that we can point the finger of blame at in this situation.

Having said all of that, when I heard yesterday on the radio that Anonymous had outed the man who was allegedly Amanda Todd’s stalker and primary tormenter, I reacted strongly. The person Anonymous named is a 30-year-old who lives in a community that neighbours mine. The story is that he coaxed Amanda to flash her breasts on a webcam, then contacted her later and threatened to publicly expose her if she didn’t ‘give him a show’. When she didn’t comply he used Facebook to share images with her classmates at several schools. He threatened her physically and shamed her publicly, and her classmates joined in. While the identity of the individual is still in question, the events are not – this is what someone did to Amanda Todd. Once again, a young woman is sexually victimized, and she faces the blame for it.

Obviously, I have no way of knowing if Anonymous is right about this guy. But let’s assume, for the sake of argument, that they are. By all accounts they’re kind of good at this. Plus, my reaction upon hearing the radio story came from the place of imagining it to be true. When I heard it, my heart caught in my throat and I was angry. This is an adult man. He preyed on and tormented a young girl. He posted images that could only be called child pornography. This makes him not just a bully, but a criminal on several counts.

DSC_0957
Photo Credit: Dan Morrill on Flickr

I am what you would call a bleeding heart liberal. I believe there are complex economic and social factors behind most crimes. You won’t generally find me advocating in favour of tougher sentencing or bigger jails. I also don’t believe that vigilantism is an appropriate response to crime. As a society, we need the protections and framework of the law and the justice system. We need to honour everyone’s rights, not so much because criminals deserve it, but because if we expect our own rights to be honoured we must not violate those of others. You won’t see me going after the alleged perpetrator online.

In spite of my bleeding heart tendencies, this time I can’t make the case for mercy. This time the mama bear inside of me is angry, and I am filled with maternal rage. When you start preying on children, I lose my capacity for sympathy. I want not just justice, but vengeance. It’s not mine to give, but I can’t express in words how furious I am to think about what this man allegedly did. If he is in fact the person who stalked and tormented Amanda Todd I don’t want him walking the same streets as my children – or anyone’s children. Whoever did this must not be allowed to hurt anyone like this ever again. I hope that the justice system prevails, and the culprit is found, whether it’s the man that Anonymous pinpointed or someone else.

When I became a parent, I was forever changed. One of the ways that I changed has to do with the way I view crimes against children. While I’ve always found them horrifying, now I find them enraging. My conciliatory nature evaporates, and I want someone not just to pay for what they did, but to suffer for it. I think not only about the child in question, but about that child’s family. Amanda Todd had a mother, and she will never be the same again. On her behalf I am angry, and I am sad. But mostly I hope against hope that we can do better next time. I think we’ve all had enough pain already, and I want it to end. I know that’s a tall order, but it’s what I’m pulling for. I don’t want to spend any more time shaking as I listen to the radio my car, filled with all the maternal rage I can hold.

Do you find that your reaction to certain crimes has changed since you had children of your own? How do you talk about bullying with your own children? And how has the Amanda Todd case impacted you?

Filed Under: Kids and Parenting Tagged With: , , ,

The Power of We: A Blogger’s Musings

on October 15, 2012 3 Comments

Power of We Blog Action DayI’ve been blogging for over nine years now. I’ve spent a lot of time sitting in this computer chair, tapping out words. The computer has changed, the room I sit in has changed, but the chair hasn’t and the solitude hasn’t. (Well, actually, the solitude kind of has, in that I’m rarely truly alone anymore, but writing is still something I’m doing by myself.) When I saw that this year’s Blog Action Day theme is The Power of We I was kind of at a loss. What am I part of? How am I joining forces with others to effect change?

There are many bloggers who do a fabulous job of advocating for – and creating – positive change. They’re activists who put themselves out there, calling out corruption, inequity and unethical behaviour when they see it. I admire them, but the truth is I can’t take the heat. I’ve written posts that garnered controversy and it quite honestly kept me up at night. Looking back on it now I feel anxious just thinking about it. The truth is that I would really like to just join hands with everyone and sing “Kum Bah Yah”. Then maybe interview them about the experience of holding hands and singing for my podcast. I’m a storyteller, not an activist, and I’m comfortable with that.

At the same time, we can no longer ignore the power of the Internet. The role that social media played in the Arab Spring, for instance, is well known. When we break down the barriers to connection and communication, people can organize and share ideas in new ways. Anyone, anywhere can share their message with the world. Amid the funny cat videos and the celebrity blogs and the Gangnam Style spoofs, there’s some great stuff. Online you can learn how to knit or be inspired or join a political party or learn about history or share your story so that someone who reads it feels just a little bit less alone. While blogging may feel like a solitary act, the truth is it never is.

Power of We Post Hurricane Ike (6)
Photo Credit: Michael Glasgow on Flickr

Every time that you reach out to someone else online to share a piece of information, offer support or create community, you’re exercising the power of we. You’re creating something that you could not create by yourself. You may not be taking on powerful CEOs or building non-profit societies to save the world. That’s okay, we don’t all have to contribute in the same way. But I choose to believe that when we do contribute, by offering the best of ourselves to the world, we’re building something.

My circle of influence isn’t large, and yours may not be either. But if having kids has taught me anything it’s that I don’t have to change the world. I can change one person’s world at a time. Sometimes, a single word delivered at the right time can make a huge difference. We just need to have the courage to show up and speak it, in the way that no one else can. If we all do that, online or offline, we’re making the world a better place to live in. We’re engaging the power of we.

Using your voice isn’t always easy. It’s an act of trust, and sometimes it still makes me nervous. I choose to do it all the same. Will you join me?

Filed Under: Blogging and Social Media Tagged With: , ,

E. coli, XL Foods, Meat Production and Human Health

on October 11, 2012 6 Comments

Here in Canada, it feels like we’ve been talking about nothing but the XL Foods beef recall for weeks. If you’re not familiar with it, though, I’m going to give a brief synopsis. More than a month ago, E. coli was detected in beef from the XL Foods processing plant in Alberta, one of the three largest such plants in Canada. However, for a variety of reasons a full-scale recall was not immediately launched. Then people started getting sick, and not just from hamburger and sausage, which are usually associated with E. coli, but from whole cuts of beef. The plant was shut down temporarily, the recall just kept expanding, and the company didn’t respond as well as they should have to the situation.

I have read a number of books that discuss industrial meat production, including The Omnivore’s Dilemma and Fast Food Nation. What I learned in these books is that while E. coli is present in the guts of many mammals, including humans, not every strain is the same. The strain that can make people sick, and even cause death, is E. coli O157:H7. This is the strain that was found in beef from XL Foods. Research has found that this strain is far more common in grain-fed cows than grass-fed cows. In fact, it’s four times more common in grain-fed cows. And, at present, most beef cattle are fed corn, which is a grain. The Straight Dope says 90% of beef is grain-finished. This is because they gain weight faster, which means that it takes less time to prepare them for slaughter.

E. coli XL Foods

Another major factor in the spread of E. coli is cleanliness. This bacteria is present in the intestine, which means it’s also present in cow poop. One of the ways that we can reduce its spread is to ensure proper handling at the processing plant. In general, when meat is contaminated with E. coli it means that it’s come in contact with cow feces. Think of it like cross-contamination in your kitchen – you want to keep the salad away from the raw meat, so that your lettuce doesn’t come in contact with any nasty bacteria. In the same way, in a processing plant, they want to keep the parts of a cow that may be infected with E. coli away from the parts of a cow that you will be eating. When they don’t, then E. coli spreads. This is more likely to happen when you have a massive operation processing large number of cows at high speed.

I get my own beef from a rancher named Barrie Redl who comes to my farmers’ market. His cattle are completely grass-fed. They graze on the open range in the summer, they’re pastured in the fall and they’re fed hay in the winter. They are processed at a small plant, located near the ranch. I’ve been buying meat from the Redls for years. I remember when their granddaughter was born, they know my kids, and I have confidence in what I’m buying from them. While I know that I must still follow safe meat handling procedures, I also know that the likelihood of an E. coli outbreak from grass-fed beef processed in small batches is far lower. It’s true that I pay more, but in my mind it’s worth it because I know that the cows have been treated well. When they’re healthier, it’s healthier for me. And last weekend, in the midst of the news from XL Foods, they sold out quickly.

E. coli XL Foods

I won’t pretend that I only eat ethically-sourced, grass-fed beef. When I go out to restaurants, for instance, I have no idea where that beef is coming from. But in situations where I have direct control, I think it’s important to ask questions about what I’m buying. E. coli outbreaks, the use of pink slime, the inhumane treatment of animals and so on flourish because we’re not aware. These are not the images that businesses like XL Foods want us to have in our heads when we’re in the grocery store aisle. But once we know, we can make informed choices and vote with our dollars when we buy food. Maybe we’ll be eating less meat because it’s more expensive, but we’ll be able to feel good about what we do eat. This is good for us, it’s good for the animals we’re consuming, and it’s good for the planet.

Has the latest beef recall caused you to re-examine your own meat consumption? Would you be willing to pay more for meat if you knew that it was less likely to be contaminated with E. coli? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Filed Under: Enviro-Mama Tagged With: , ,

Soaking up Inspiration from Leading Moms Speaker Dina Goldstein

on September 11, 2012 2 Comments

There’s a universal truth that I discovered when I started my podcast: everyone has a story. This truth was driven home recently when I met Dina Goldstein. We were at a children’s birthday party, and we talked about our kids and the weather and that sort of thing. When my daughter and I were leaving, her dog Taco jumped into my car and I had to get her to come rescue him. I knew she was a photographer, because she was taking some photos, but I didn’t understand what kind of photographer.

Later, I happened to come across Dina’s website, and I recognized her images because they’ve gone viral. I just didn’t make the connection at the party. Her portfolio includes a lot of amazing work, but her two personal projects, Fallen Princesses and In the Dollhouse, really stand out for me. I would describe them, but if a picture’s worth a thousand words (and these ones definitely are) it would take a novel, so go look at them if you haven’t seen them already.

I was thrilled to have the chance to interview Dina recently, today I’m sharing that with you.

Dina Goldstein In the Dollhouse Leading Moms
Image courtesy Dina Goldstein, from In the Dollhouse

Conversation with Photographer Dina Goldstein

Can you tell me a little bit about yourself and your family?
My family came to Vancouver in 1976 from Israel. I didn’t speak English until I was eight. I grew up on Vancouver’s West Side and now I have made my home on the East Side. I live with my husband Jonas and my two girls Jordan (seven) and Zoe (three).

How did you get into photography?
What began as an interest in taking better photos led to a 20 year professional career in photography. I started photography at 23; I was young and very eager. At the time I was surrounded by all kinds of artists: musicians, actors, painters, photographers. I had a world of material to photograph. I set up a studio in my apartment and went for it.

I worked part time at a photo supply store and in my spare time photographed anything and everything. I could get discounts at the store on equipment and processing so it really helped me out.

You have a video that says you initially wanted to pursue photojournalism – what was it about that that appealed to you?
I originally wanted to document real life and journalism seemed a good choice for me. In many ways it suited my outgoing and perhaps ‘pushy’, ‘won’t take no for an answer’ personality.

I did travel to the West Bank and Gaza and photographed people living in refugee camps.

It was great while I was shooting but when I wasn’t it was quite isolating. I learned a lot about myself on these trips and decided that I should pursue my career closer to home.

When I got back from my travels I began to shoot anything and anyone! I worked for some weekly papers and went after magazine work. I photographed for almost every magazine in Canada and many from the US and Europe. I also photographed many people in business. Eventually I got advertising work, which led to more creative projects.

You consider yourself a visual storyteller. What makes a good visual story?
A good visual story draws you in and then keeps you thinking! If it’s not an obvious message at first then it should continue to tell the story as you notice the details.

I’m really interested in your personal projects. What was the first one you did?
From the very beginning I always shot subjects and events that interested me.

I would follow an event for many years (like the Gay Pride Parade, Chinese New Year, Polar Bear Swim) or I would wander around with my camera at the old age home that my mother works at. My first big effort was TRACKRECORD. I spent two years, every weekend, at Hastings Racecourse, photographing the regular gamblers. Real characters!

It was an amazing experience learning all about horses and horse racing while meeting those unique people.

Dina Goldstein Fallen Princesses Leading Moms
Image courtesy of Dina Goldstein, from Fallen Princesses

I want to hear about Fallen Princesses – what inspired that?
Jordan, my daughter, was three at the time and was just starting to get into the ‘Princess phase’. Princesses were everywhere and I too was getting introduced to them. (I grew up in Israel in the early 70’s, and was not exposed to Disney at all.)

Just around the same time my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer.The two events collided and made me wonder what a Princess would look like if she had to battle a disease, struggle financially or deal with aging. I began to imagine what could happen to the Princesses later in life and after the happily ever after. Naturally they would have to deal with challenges that all modern woman face.

I saw the photos for In the Dollhouse, and they’re amazing. Where did that come from?
In the Dollhouse is just a progression of me following my two daughters. Playing with dolls is a way for girls to role play and pretend.

I started thinking about the messages that they were receiving from their Ken and Barbie dolls. Of course Barbie is an impossibly proportional doll and Ken has become so effeminate that he is barely recognizable. I let my imagination go wild and created alternative worlds for these characters.

Have your daughters ever seen your work?
Yes of course! My daughters get to come to the shoots!

They love meeting Ariel, Snow White and Barbie. However if you ask me do they understand the concepts behind the images, then I’ll tell you that they are not sophisticated enough yet. These images are made for adults.

What do you hope people take away from your images?
Yes I express myself through my work and yes my pictures can be controversial. Often people interpret the work differently than I intended and that’s just fine with me. If dialogue happens then I’m happy. Good art creates dialogue.

My main message is that this world is so complex and everyone has their own challenges to deal with. What might seem ‘perfect’ on the outside is most likely not

I have received so many letters over the years from people, all over the world (male and female) telling me that my work has ‘moved’ and ‘inspired’ them. To me that’s profound!

Thank you so much, Dina, for agreeing to the interview! If you happen to live in Vancouver as well, there’s an amazing event coming up on October 3, 2012 where Dina will be speaking. Leading Moms is happening during school hours at the HR MacMillan Space Centre. Dina is going to be just one of an amazing panel of presenters, including Natalie Angell-Besseling of Shanti Uganda, a past guest on the Strocel.com podcast. I will be there myself, soaking up the inspiration.

Leading Moms

Filed Under: Random Awesomeness Tagged With: , , , ,

Today I am Disappointed in LLL

on August 21, 2012 18 Comments

As I write, I have just finished reading about Trevor MacDonald, a transgender breastfeeding father. He corresponded with La Leche League (LLL) here in Canada about becoming a leader. I read an article on the CBC website. From there, I visited Trevor’s blog, Milk Junkies, and found a copy of his letter to LLL and their response. I also read a comment from Fiona Audy, chair of the La Leche League Canada Board and a past guest on my podcast. I have to say, I am very disappointed in LLL at this moment.

My summary of the situation is this: Trevor, who was born a biological woman, now identifies as a man. However, he still has a female reproductive system, and he became pregnant. He first attended a LLL meeting when he was expecting. Having had most of his breast tissue removed, he was concerned about breastfeeding. He credits the information and support he received through LLL with helping him to breastfeed his child, who is now a toddler. Like many other parents who have found help through LLL, he wants to pay that forward by becoming a volunteer leader. However, the organization has said that’s not possible. Here is an excerpt from their letter, as posted on Trevor’s website:

Our policies do preclude men from becoming Leaders. LLLC Policy states:

4.14 MEN AS LEADERS

Since an LLLC Leader is a mother who has breastfed a baby, a man cannot become an LLLC Leader. (March 1994)

Like Trevor, I love La Leche League, and the work they do. When I stumbled into my first meeting when my daughter Hannah was just a couple of months old, it felt as if I had come home. I credit the information and support I received there with being able to establish a successful breastfeeding relationship. But more than that, I found many friends at LLL. For more than seven years, I attended meetings at least once a month. The group has played a significant role in my personal parenting journey.

breastfeeding

I credit LLL with helping me reach this point in breastfeeding Hannah

As I understand it, LLL’s objections stem from the fact that the organization’s philosophies are based around mothering through breastfeeding. Leaders are expected to live in a way that represents those philosophies. As well, leaders must have breastfed their babies themselves. However, it seems clear to me that these philosophies and policies were written at a time when no one would have believed that a man could become pregnant or breastfeed. Transgender issues simply weren’t on anyone’s radar. Modifying the language to be gender inclusive, while retaining the requirement that a leader be a parent who has breastfed a baby, would be in the spirit of the policies in my mind.

One of the issues that LLL raised in their response letter, as posted on Trevor’s website, is that some women may be uncomfortable receiving breastfeeding support from a man. They say that a leader must be able to help all women with breastfeeding. This seems patently unfair to me, because it places the onus on a potential leader to be non-offensive. Would we respond in the same way if, for instance, a woman of one race was uncomfortable receiving help from a woman of another race? What about if a potential leader had a lot of tattoos? Those make some people uncomfortable. What if she had a disability? While a mother certainly has the right to seek support from someone she can communicate effectively with, it’s discriminatory to exclude someone from a volunteer role simply because someone else may be uncomfortable.

This is the crux of things for me. I understand that Trevor’s application is pushing the boundaries, so to speak. I understand that some people hold strongly-held beliefs around gender and sexual orientation, and may struggle to receive support from Trevor. If that’s the case, I would hope that they would contact another leader. But this doesn’t change the fact that a secular group that seeks to be welcoming to all breastfeeding parents must be prepared to adapt. If you believe breastfeeding is important, then it’s important for all babies, not just for babies with parents you approve of. You simply cannot say that you’re supporting LGBT parents, while excluding them from certain roles. That’s not a supportive action.

As I said, I love LLL. I value the work that the organization does to provide free, research-based breastfeeding support and information. But I know that one negative experience with an organization can taint someone’s opinion forever. When I’ve written about LLL in the past, I’ve heard many stories about leaders who said or did the wrong thing at a time when a mother was feeling particularly vulnerable. I’ve heard about leaders who weren’t welcoming, or who didn’t provide the information a parent was looking for. It’s terribly unfortunate when that happens, and I fear this decision may have the same effect. Many people may read it and wrongly believe that if they call their local leader they will be met with closed-mindedness or judgment. And so, today I am disappointed with the stance that LLL has taken. I dearly hope that they will reconsider it.

UPDATED: Both La Leche League Canada and La Leche League International are now reviewing their policies with an eye to Trevor’s situation. While this is hardly a solution, I’m choosing to view this as a positive step, and I’m hoping that something good comes out of it. You can read the official statements online.

Filed Under: Breastfeeding Tagged With: , ,
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