My daughter Hannah is a perfectly normal 5-year-old. She can hold up her end of a conversation, she enjoys books and music, and she loves to play outside. She can print her name, most of the time. She can dress herself and use the washroom on her own, and she plays well with her friends at preschool. All things considered, she is pretty typical.

Like a lot of parents, I still feel anxiety about my daughter’s development. The other day I met a child exactly 1 year younger than Hannah. An adult was reading a book that neither kid had seen before, and would occasionally point at a word. Hannah guessed based on context and the picture, with about a 30% accuracy rate. The other child, though, was clearly reading the words. I’m not particularly proud of myself, but seeing that a child a full year younger could read words when my own daughter doesn’t recognize all the letters in the alphabet sort of caught in my throat. I became concerned that my child is behind somehow, and won’t catch up.

There are a lot of organizations that prey on these parental fears and concerns. Of course we all want to make sure that our children have the basic skills to succeed in life. And so people and organizations step up to the plate, promising to help our children do better. They claim that the younger that reading starts, the better a child’s reading skills will be in the long term. In reading I even heard somebody cite the Matthew Effect as a reason that babies should read.

The Matthew Effect is named after Matthew 25:29 in the Bible, which says:

For to all those who have, more will be given, and they will have an abundance; but from those who have nothing, even what they have will be taken away.

In the context of reading, what this means is that when children don’t master reading by a certain age, it negatively impacts their educational advancement. They continue to fall farther and farther behind. This is because reading becomes critical to learning about many other subjects – children can’t research whales, or ancient Rome, or do mathematical word problems if they can’t read. However, it seems that most educational experts believe that the threshold for the Matthew Effect is around grade 3, not in preschool.

I have no doubt that people touting the benefits of teaching your baby to read are very sincere. But I will admit, reading their sites fills me with panic. If the sensitive period for reading really does start to close at 4, as one site claimed, then we have totally missed the boat and I have failed my child.

And then I came across a fabulous post by BluebirdMama, who is writing a series on her thoughts as her son gets ready to start kindergarten in the fall. Her post, Let Them Play, spoke to me and calmed a lot of my fears. In particular, I was delighted to hear about a study from New Zealand that demonstrated that by the time they are 11 years old, there is no difference in reading ability between early readers and later readers.

Anecdotally, our own family confirms that study. My husband Jon apparently started reading at around age 4, and I didn’t learn to read until I was in grade 1, at around 6 1/2. It makes no difference today, just as the fact that I was an early walker makes no difference to my current walking abilities. The fact is, children develop in their own time and at their own pace, and most of them end up just fine regardless of what that pace is.

Current research actually indicates that preschool-aged children, like my daughter, often do better in a an open-ended and creative environment that focuses on their social and emotional development. If children are interested in reading, that’s great. But if they’re not and we force them to complete academically-oriented tasks they can actually become discouraged and develop negative school associations. If we don’t impose academics on preschoolers who aren’t ready, they will catch up down the line. In fact, strong social skills in early childhood are linked to learning abilities in school-aged children.

Sooner or later my daughter will learn to read, when the time is right for her. In the meantime, we will do puzzles and paint and dance and role-play. And I will feel confident that I am not, in fact, dooming her to a lifetime of illiteracy.

My daughter Hannah is now almost 5, and will be entering kindergarten in September. Our local school district is holding registration in early February, and so education is on my mind.

Hannah is a pretty normal kid for her age, I think, and is really looking forward to going to kindergarten. I have no doubt that she will handle the transition well. For our part, we have decided to enroll her in our local public school. I could come up with various reasons for why we’ve made this choice, but the truth is that it’s a combination of ease and reasonably positive school experiences for Jon and me. In general, my husband and I did well in public school. We have no undue concerns about the schools in our area, and we appreciate that public school is free. So we’re going with what we see as the easiest option – the default option, if you will.

As parents, Jon and I don’t have particular expectations concerning our children’s educations. We hope that they will be treated well and that their teachers will like them. We also hope that they will learn the things they need to know and generally get along well with their peers. That’s pretty much it. I don’t have a particular educational philosophy that I’m devoted to, at least not enough to seek out a school that follows that philosophy. And I am content to allow school to take place in a classroom outside our home.

Of course, we want our children to be successful. I think that all parents do, at least moderately so. As an adult, though, I have seen that the happiest people are not necessarily the smartest or the richest. They didn’t necessarily attend the best schools, or follow the most conventional paths. There is, quite simply, no easy formula for a successful life. Or, for that matter, no universal agreement on what ‘success’ looks like. I’m using it here to mean being generally satisfied with your life, and having the basic financial means to meet your needs and maybe a few wants. Others would use the term differently.

If there is no universal path to fulfillment in life, and no certain way to achieve it, then I must accept that I cannot control the outcome for my children. I cannot predict how my choice of kindergartens will or will not shape the course of their destiny. My kids may not do well in public school, not everyone does. If that situation arises, then we will address it as best we can. Unless and until it arises, though, there’s no sure-fire way of preventing it.

Perhaps we will regret the choice to enroll our children in our local public school. Perhaps we will pat ourselves on the back at our great wisdom when Hannah accepts her Nobel Peace Prize. For now, I am mostly content with our choice. And also vaguely alarmed that kindergarten registration is in a few short weeks, and that I am already reaching this milestone. Because no matter how I choose to educate my kids, I know this much for sure – my daughter might be ready for kindergarten, but I’m not sure that I am.

What about you? Do you have a particular educational philosophy that you adhere to? How have you made the decision about where to send your kids for school? I’d love to hear!

PS – Because I love a contest, I would appreciate a thumbs-up over on Babble. Search for ‘strocel.com’ – I’ve been hanging out at around 70, give or take. I am so grateful to whoever is nominating me for these contests. Your support is so appreciated, regardless of how I place!