Strocel.com | Travel

Living the Dream

Amber on March 28, 2013 14 Comments

One day last week at Disneyland I found myself squished into a bathroom stall with my four-year-old son Jacob, waiting for him to finish. As I stood there, thinking about all the fun I was missing, a phrase passed through my head: living the dream.

Now, it’s true that you won’t find parenting on a list of glamourous (or well-compensated) jobs. And it’s also true that even in parenting terms, waiting in a public bathroom for a four-year-old to finish up isn’t exactly the most exciting way to spend your time. All the same, when that phrase passed through my head, two things happened. First, the more cynical and sarcastic part of me gave a little chuckle. But then a second part of me spoke up and reminded me that I was with my child, on a family vacation to Disneyland. It’s a place that many people would really love to be. I really was living the dream.

It’s easy to focus on the drudgery in life. It’s even easier to focus on the drudgery in parenting. The sleepless nights, the messes, the noise, the bodily fluids – they can all wear you down. You may miss the life you had before kids, which now seems so much easier in retrospect. You may long for the ability to visit the bathroom by yourself, or read more than one paragraph in a book at a time. No one could blame you if sometimes you just long for a break.

Travel has many downsides, as well. Many of them are similar to parenting – sleepless nights, noise, and sometimes even bodily fluids. No one will tell you that being away from home is all sunshine and roses. It’s normal to wonder why you signed up for this, anyway, when your whole family is tired and cranky and hot and you’re standing in yet another line-up.

On the other hand, the truth is that many of us dreamed of one day having children. I certainly did. And most of us don’t plan family vacations in the anticipation that we’ll have a terrible time. There are tedious and annoying parts of life, no matter how you slice it. But if you spend all your time and energy thinking about those, you can miss the fabulous and amazing parts of life that are happening around you. The parts that you’ve been imagining for years, since you were six years old yourself and thought, “If I ever have kids, I’m going to take them to Disneyland, and we’ll go on all the rides, and it will be lots of fun, and I’ll be so much nicer than my own parents.”

Once I had my little revelation standing in that bathroom stall, I was once again able to see the forest for the trees. I remembered that, in fact, I was doing something my whole family had been looking forward to for ages. And while every moment may not have been sheer bliss, on the whole I was very lucky and I was enjoying myself quite a lot. That attitude re-adjustment really did make all the difference.

How do you re-focus yourself when you start complaining about petty problems? I’d love to hear!

Filed Under: Crafting my Life, Kids and Parenting Tagged With: Crafting my Life, Navel Gazing, Parenting, Travel

The Disney Retrospective

Amber on March 25, 2013 12 Comments

We returned home from our Disneyland trip on Friday. Having taken the weekend to recover, I’m now ready to share the highlights and the lowlights of the trip. Here’s how it went.

The Good

Our hotel was awesome. We stayed at the Howard Johnson Anaheim, in a kids suite. The children had their own room with a bunk bed, which they adored. The hotel was close to Disneyland, affordable, and had a fabulous water park. Our room also had a microwave and fridge, so that we could keep snacks and breakfast food on hand.
The flight was totally fine. We had one thirty minute flight and one two and a half hour flight, with just one connection. Other than having to run to make our connection on the way home, the airplane trips were largely uneventful. I would totally take my kids on a plane again – although I don’t know if I’m ready to brave a longer flight yet.
The food at Disneyland was way better than I expected. Yes, it was expensive – we paid around $40 for lunch. However, for that we got pretty good food, including lots of fruits and veggies. The restaurants mostly used real dishes and cutlery, as well. And since we dined cafeteria-style, there were no waits to speak of. Plus, there were lots of great kids’ options.
We bought the PhotoPass+, and got lots of great photos, including many shots of our whole family. The photographers were friendly and good with the kids. We didn’t get it together to buy it two weeks before our trip, so we had to buy it on-site, but I feel that it was worth the $100.
My kids had a fabulous time – especially my daughter Hannah. At eight years old, she was the perfect age to really get into all the parades and rides and shows. Jacob was a little bit young for some of the stuff, but he still really enjoyed himself for the most part. They were both really sad when it was time to come home.

The Bad

As I said, my son Jacob was a little bit too young. Disneyland doesn’t go halfway on pretty much anything. The over-the-top experience was too much for a four-year-old who can’t really distinguish between reality and fantasy yet. He was completely terrified when Darth Vader and Darth Maul appeared during the Jedi Training Academy show, and he sobbed his way through the Finding Nemo submarine ride.
The character line-ups were tedious and boring, and I had a hard time justifying standing in line for up to 45 minutes to meet a princess. My kids, on the other hand, wanted to stand in every line to meet every character. I can understand why meeting Tinkerbell was a big deal for them, but this was definitely not my favourite part of the trip.
There were so many people, it was just plain overwhelming. Yes, it’s to be expected, and yes, I expected it. But it still doesn’t make it fun to battle throngs of people in order to find a spot on the sidewalk to watch a parade. I was on high alert pretty much the whole trip, trying to keep tabs on my kids. Luckily we didn’t lose anyone, but it could easily happen with all those people.
The over-the-top commercialism is excessive. You’re constantly confronted with opportunities to buy something, whether it’s food or balloons or gift shops that you have to walk through at the end of a ride. We let our kids each buy one souvenir, but we still spent lots of time wandering around stores as they debated on what item to bring home with them. Disneyland is all about spending money.

In the end, we did our best to take our time, and we didn’t try to see everything when we were at Disneyland. We enjoyed both parks – Disney California Adventure is pretty cool – and tried to stick with what we knew our kids would enjoy. Sometimes we guessed wrong, as with Finding Nemo, but on the whole it went pretty well. I would even consider going back again – but not for a few years, at least. Next time I go I’d like my kids to be a little older. That way we can go on some of the rides that I like. Plus, hopefully the whole experience won’t be as overwhelming for them.

Really, though, what’s a vacation post without photos? Here are some of the shots from our trip:

Filed Under: Random Awesomeness Tagged With: Kids, Travel

Twas the Night Before Disney

Amber on March 18, 2013 6 Comments

With apologies to Clement C. Moore, this is what I was inspired to write Saturday evening as we prepared to depart for Disneyland.

‘Twas the night before Disney, when all through the house
every creature was stirring (though hopefully no mouse).
The suitcases were flung wide open everywhere,
As we frantically searched out clean socks and underwear.

The children refused to remain in their beds,
while visions of Mickey Mouse danced in their heads.
And Jon in his old T-shirt and I in my nightdress,
were wondering just how we’d got into this mess.

Toilets needed scrubbing, and bedsheets needed changing,
bathing suits needed washing, and carry-ons rearranging.
Around the whole house I flew like a flash
searching desperately for my American cash.

The electric lights in the house, each and every one on,
made it bright as midday, though it was hours before dawn.
The lists that I’d written of what I should pack
lay abandoned beneath piles of random bric-a-brac.

“Now Jacob! Now Hannah!
Now Husband, I say!
Pick up all the stuff,
and put it away!
From the top of the house!
To the last fireplace!
Now dash away!
Put it all in a suitcase!”

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky
so all around the house our family flew,
with armfuls of stuff, and worried looks, too.

It was later than late, three hours past nine,
and I was thinking of opening a bottle of wine.
The fog in my eye and the twitch in my head
were letting me know that I should be in bed.

Who knew that vacations could be so much work?
And why’d I volunteer, like an uninformed jerk?
Rubbing my temples and blowing my nose,
I carefully stepped over the pile of clothes.

I put my kids to bed, and tucked them in soundly -
while they tried to resist, they were soon snoring roundly.
Then my husband exclaimed, before turning out the light,
“Happy vacation to all, I give up for the night!”

While I’m away, I won’t be publishing regularly here. I hope that you all have a fabulous week, and that your vacations are blissfully stress-free.

Filed Under: Random Awesomeness Tagged With: Travel, Weak Attempts at Humour

Travel Anxiety

Amber on March 11, 2013 22 Comments

It’s been some seven years since my daughter Hannah cried almost every time we strapped her into her carseat, but if I close my eyes and think about it I can still hear those piercing screams. They echo forward in time, impacting many of the parenting decisions my husband and I have made over the years. For instance, we have travelled very little with our children, and the trips we have taken have pretty much all been close to home. My sister’s son is just two and a half, but he’s been to Chicago and Hawaii and Italy and a bunch of other places I’m forgetting. I’m just not that brave. The fact that we live within easy driving distance of most everyone in our families has made our personal travel ban just that much easier to impose.

This Spring Break, we’re biting the bullet. One week from today we will be in sunny Southern California, visiting everyone’s favourite family vacation mecca: Disneyland. To say the kids are excited would be a dramatic understatement. While Hannah has taken one brief plane trip, it happened when she was just 15 months old, so for all intents and purposes this is the first time on a plane for both of my kids. Several times a day, every day, they pepper me with questions. What will we do at Disneyland? Which ride will we go on first? What is it like when a plane takes off? Which seats will we sit in? How long will we be on the plane? How many days will we be at Disneyland for? How many days until we leave? How many minutes until we set foot inside the front gates?

This will be my first time at Disneyland, as well, although I did visit Disney World twice as a teenager. My husband Jon visited the actual Disneyland as a child, however, so he has become the in-house expert. The fact that his own visit was some 25 years ago does not tarnish his credentials at all in the eyes of our children. They approach him like they would approach a long-admired author of a seminal work in his or her field: reverently, deferentially, unquestioningly. In their eagerness for information, he has taken on a special status.

Photo credit: Mike Saechang on Flickr

While the children are beyond excited, the truth is that my husband and I are a little nervous. Disneyland would not be our first choice in terms of vacation destinations, were it not for the children. We would favour someplace a little quieter, with ample lounge chairs and a bar serving frosty cocktails. We’re putting on our game faces for our kids, but we have plenty of questions of our own. How will they behave on the plane? Will our four-year-old make a break for it and get lost in the park? How will they handle it if they have to wait around in long line-ups? How much Advil should we pack, exactly? We need help.

And so, my fair blog readers, I’m turning to you. Have you travelled with your children? Do you have tips to share – either in general, or about Disneyland specifically? Any ideas for keeping two over-excited children quiet on a plane, or keeping tabs on a preschooler who likes to run, would be greatly appreciated. Just plain old good thoughts would be appreciated, too, for that matter. I’m not sure if I’ll need them, but it will feel good to know that I have them.

Filed Under: Random Awesomeness Tagged With: Navel Gazing, Parenting, Travel

Thinking About Roots

Amber on February 26, 2013 20 Comments

I’ve been thinking about roots, lately. Not literal roots, anchoring and nourishing plants, but metaphorical roots. The kind of roots that anchor and nourish people, connecting them to where they live, to the soil they walk on every day (even if it is buried beneath the concrete). I’ve been considering the way that the sights, sound, tastes – the whole feel of a place – can get under your skin and change the way you look at life.

I’ve been thinking about roots for two reasons. The first is that many of my friends are moving away. Some are moving five or six hours down the road, some across oceans, but all of them far enough of that I won’t see them anymore. Oh, maybe there will be a trip or two, and we have the wonders of technology to connect us. But they are leaving this place, and I am staying, and it won’t be the same. They are uprooting themselves, in a way that I never have.

Plants on Salt Spring, putting down roots

Sometimes I imagine my friends clipping the ties that are keeping them here with a pair of scissors, and floating up, up, up like balloons. They are free, not weighed down by the petty cares and concerns that fill life on earth. Pulling up roots has also removed the obligations that come along with those roots – obligations like remembering to take out the garbage once a week and trying to get along with that cranky neighbour. I imagine myself joining them, floating away, surveying a vivid green landscape below me, looking for a promising spot to land.

The real truth is that I don’t want to fly away from here. This is my home. And that brings me to the second thing that has me thinking about roots – my trip last weekend to Salt Spring Island, a smallish island that’s home to about 10,000 people not too far from me. In recent decades Salt Spring has become something of a hippie mecca. It’s home to artists and artisans, small-scale farmers and people going back to the land. You won’t find a McDonald’s or a Starbucks or an Old Navy there. Many of the houses are nestled amid tall trees, with big wood piles in a shed out front. There are lots of signs advertising pottery and art studios, and many farm stands selling fresh eggs and other farm goods at the side of the road.

Goats enjoying the island vibe

Being on Salt Spring reminded me of my own roots. I was raised by hippies in a semi-rural setting. Cows grazed in fields across the street from my house, and many of my fondest childhood memories involve playing in a little creek beneath the tall trees of the forest. My father was a self-taught goldsmith, an artisan in every sense of the word, and a sign on our front lawn advertised that you could find his jewellery store in the front room of our house. That house was heated with wood, and I remember my parents out chopping up kindling in all weather. Inside our house, the only doors separated the studio and showroom from the rest of the house. Our bedrooms, bathrooms, kitchen – none of these had doors.

Being on Salt Spring was like taking a tour of of my life some 30 years ago. Many of these folks are creative people, moving away from the city, looking for a quieter lifestyle. The graffiti scribbled on the wall at the provincial park spoke of overthrowing our colonial-capitalist system. The children wore hand knits and big gum boots. While this was the first time I set foot on Salt Spring, the homes and the people looked familiar. My roots might not have been in that place, exactly, but they were in a place very much like it. I grew up steeped in the same sort of ethos that I felt as I ate local, free-range, organic eggs served to me by a young woman with henna on her arms and a laid-back sort of approach to waiting tables on Sunday morning.

Enjoying our kid-free weekend

I spent my childhood among people who made similar choices to the people on Salt Spring. The hard-scrabble-ness that comes with those choices is only really visible to me now, as an adult myself. Living in a semi-rural setting presents challenges. Making a living from your art presents challenges. Being a ferry ride away from a bigger community presents challenges. You embrace those challenges, because for you, the upsides outweigh the downsides. With my adult eyes, I saw both the challenges and the innovative solutions. The sacrifices and the gains. I found myself asking the inevitable question: would I choose it, too?

As my husband and I sat in our car for a rain-soaked ferry ride from Salt Spring to Victoria on our trip home, I realized that I have already chosen where to plant myself, right here in suburban Vancouver. I don’t want to leave this place to return to my counter-culture childhood. I don’t want to leave it in search of greener pastures, either. I found clarity as I sat in the passenger seat of my husband’s car, listening to the soft tap-tap-tap of the raindrops, gazing out through blurry, rain-streaked windows. I choose to plant my roots in this wild and rain-soaked country, where fir and cedar trees grow tall and straight, and the ocean is never too far away. I love that, in spite of the wilderness that’s always nearby, I’m 10 minutes from IKEA and within easy walking distance of four Starbucks locations.

Luckily the trip to Salt Spring was nicer than the trip home

My roots are deep in the place I call home, and I’m choosing to stay right here. While my friends fly away, I send good wishes with them, hoping they find the perfect spot to plant themselves. I send good wishes to the potters and painters and artisanal cheese-makers on Salt Spring, too. While I feel a warm sort of familiarity with them, I happily drive away after buying some organic camembert. I’m pushing my roots even further into my thick, damp, suburban soil. I’m feasting on the nourishment that I soak up through them. It’s the best thing ever, this soul food that lets me know that I am just where I should be.

Where do you choose to put down your roots?

Filed Under: Random Awesomeness Tagged With: Beautiful BC, Memories, Navel Gazing, Travel

Getting Fitted: Talking to the Bra Whisperer

Amber on August 15, 2012 11 Comments

The two times I’ve attended BlogHer, I kicked off the event with the Official Canadian Party on Thursday evening. It was a great chance to meet some of my Canadian peeps in a smaller setting that didn’t interfere with any sessions or official BlogHer parties. This year, they included a guide to New York City in our swag bag, with insider tips from some great Canadian bloggers. The one that really caught my eye came from Emma Waverman, who suggested a great place to get a bra on the Lower East Side. My friend Marilyn and I were both sorely in need of some more, erm, support, so on Sunday morning we headed out in search of Orchard Corset Discount Centre.

Like everyone else I’ve read the statistics that say something like 80% of women are wearing the wrong bra size. With numbers like that, I knew I was probably one of them. And yet, I’ve never had a proper bra fitting. I’ve always just gone with what was affordable, comfortable and looked good. I really thought I was doing okay. However, I was sick of wearing old nursing bras when I haven’t breastfed in well over a year, and I had a recommendation on where to go, so the time seemed ripe.

Image credit: Bonnie Natko on Flickr

From the outside, the shop looked small and non-descript. When we opened the door, we found a large Orthodox Jewish man behind the counter. We told him we were there to get fitted, and he asked us to take a seat because someone else was being fitted already. We each took a stool, and I looked around the walls, which were all covered in row upon row of little cardboard boxes holding bras, girdles, corsets and all manner of lingerie. Marilyn compared it to Ollivanders Wand Shop from Harry Potter, and I had to agree.

After 15 minutes or so Marilyn went in. She was in there for all of five minutes, which surprised me, but I didn’t have a chance to ask her how it went because it was my turn. A woman greeted me from the back of the store and asked me to step behind a curtain and take off my shirt. I was standing in a storage room, with even more little cardboard boxes. She came back, and while I left my old bra on she took the measure of me with her eyes, gave me a few discreet pats, and came back with a bra to try on. I tried it on, and the band size was a little bit small so she got me the next size up and I tried that on. This time the size was right (and totally different from what I’d been wearing), but the style still wasn’t satisfactory to the Bra Whisperer who was fitting me.

So many boxes at Orchard Discount Corset

This is the exchange that followed, as well as I can remember:

Bra Whisperer – Hmm. I’m going to get you a bra. You won’t like the way it looks, but you’ll like it once it’s on.
Me – Okay.
Bra Whisperer – You’re very short-waisted, we need to lift you up.
Me – I am very short-waisted.
Bra Whisperer – I just need to create some distance in your torso. You’re so short-waisted.
Me – I know. I have two kids, and when I was pregnant I just shot out to here, there was nowhere for the kids to go.
Bra Whisperer – You have two kids? You don’t look old enough.
Me – I do. I’m actually 36.
Bra Whisperer – Oh, I thought you were a teenager. That changes everything. I’m going to need you to take your bra off, so I can see what I’m working with.
Me – All right, no problem. [I have two kids. I have no shame anymore.]
Bra Whisperer – I’m sorry, I don’t like to have people naked, but I had to see.
Me – Really, it’s all right.
Bra Whisperer – I’ll be right back. [She disappears momentarily.] Okay, here it is.
[I try the bra on, and the Bra Whisperer adjusts it.]
Bra Whisperer – I was having a hard time with you. I thought you were a teenager. I knew what kind of bra you needed, but I thought that you wouldn’t like it. Now that I know you have two kids, I know what to do with you. This material is very thin though, do you have a problem with sticking out?
Me – No.
Bra Whisperer – I’m like everyone’s mother. No one else will tell you you’re sticking out, but I will. Okay, put on your shirt, and see.

Waiting for a bra fitting at Orchard Street Corset

At this point, I put on my shirt. I hadn’t been particularly impressed with the bra she brought me, but then I saw. My breasts were decidedly higher than they had been in my old bra. Like, several inches higher. I’m a woman in my mid-30s. I’ve had a couple of kids. The girls don’t exactly point in the same direction they used to, if you catch my drift. But in this bra they did. But the best part was that it was only $40 (I realize this isn’t exactly pocket change for everyone, but compared to the $150+ I’ve heard of people paying for a well-fitted bra, it’s pretty darn affordable). I bought two. As for Marilyn, she bought four. Apparently, the Bra Whisperer just brought her one bra, and when she asked if there was another one the Bra Whisperer said no. That was it. And it was.

After my bra fitting, I felt the comparison to Ollivanders was even more apt. I also found that wearing a well-fitting bra in the right style has made a huge difference. My clothes fit better, and I feel like I look better. Plus, I have a much better idea of what to look for in a bra the next time I buy one without the help of the Bra Whisperer. It was definitely worth the hot and sweaty trip on foot and on the subway. And if you find yourself in New York City, I’d recommend making the trip to 157 Orchard Street in Manhattan as well, if only for the story.

Have you ever had a proper bra fitting? What was that like – and how far off were you in the size you were wearing? And if not, what’s stopping you?

Filed Under: Blogging and Social Media Tagged With: Bloggy McBloggerson, Travel

Why I Attend Conferences Like BlogHer

Amber on August 14, 2012 6 Comments

I’ve attended several blog conferences now, of all different shapes and sizes. The biggest by far has been BlogHer, which I’ve now made the trip for twice. I was in San Diego in 2011, and I was in New York a week and a half ago. And while I’ve heard mixed reports, I really enjoyed myself both times. I got a lot out of the experience – but not necessarily what I expected.

Malaak Compton-Rock, Christy Turlington Burns, Soledad O'Brien

Adjusting my Expectations

Here’s what I didn’t get out of BlogHer:

PR connections or new advertisers
Lots of in-depth information that I didn’t already have
The chance to meet and speak with everyone I would have liked to
Big ticket swag (I know people who have gotten vacuum cleaners, tablets and so on – I got toothbrushes for my kids)

If I had attended BlogHer expecting to make a bunch of money, learn a whole bunch of mind-blowing blogging secrets or come home with a pile of free stuff, I may have been disappointed. Alternatively, if I had expected the conference organizers to only accept sponsors who conformed with my values, or I expected all the other attendees to have the same goals as I did, I would have been disappointed. Some people attend blog conferences to network with PR folks for potential opportunities to work together. Some people attend blog conferences and don’t go to any sessions. Some people use Lysol and love it when they can get their hands on free Lysol products. I feel like there’s more than enough room for all of us to create our own conference experiences, and take what speaks to us from the buffet that’s on offer.

What’s Awesome About Blog Conferences

Okay, so no conference can be all things to all people, and no two attendees have exactly the same goals or experiences. That doesn’t mean that you can’t get some fabulous stuff out of attending a conference like BlogHer, though. Here’s what I took away:

The chance to meet amazing people – who are really old friends – in person for the first time.
Inspiration and ideas to keep me going when I’m back home, writing by myself in my family room once again.
An opportunity to engage in an intelligent, in-depth conversation about blogs and social media.
A reminder that when we’re publishing our words on the internet, we’re never truly alone.
Recognition of the role we play as influencers – however we choose to use that influence.
A chance to dance.
The opportunity to explore a new city.

When you work from home, you don’t have the chance to see your co-workers every day. You don’t get to chat in the hallways or go to meetings or watch other people in action. This isn’t all bad – there were certainly lots of things about working in an office that I didn’t enjoy. But there are definitely things that we miss out on when we don’t get together with other people who are doing the same sort of stuff that we’re doing. If you’re a blogger, attending a blog conference is the best way I know of to change that. Discover that you are part of a community, and learn just how fabulous that community can be. Because you know that with 5000 people there, your people will be somewhere in the mix. Finding them has made me proud of what I do, and I think that if you keep your goals in mind when you go, it can do the same thing for you.

I know that the idea of walking into a room where you don’t know many people is pretty intimidating. I know that it can be overwhelming to go that first time, when you’re not sure what to wear or what the other attendees will be like or how many business cards you need. I was terrified before I attended my first blog conference. I was terrified again before I attended my first BlogHer. In retrospect, I needn’t have worried. I wore what made me feel comfortable. I didn’t pass out many business cards, and I found that pretty much everyone else was there because they wanted to meet other people, so they were all very friendly. If you can put on your brave face and put yourself out there, I know you’ll find good things, too.

Are you a blogger? Have you attended blog conferences? What was it like for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Filed Under: Blogging and Social Media Tagged With: Bloggy McBloggerson, Navel Gazing, Travel