Sometimes, I take my kids out in public and everything is awesome. They behave. I am calm. My parenting skills are astounding, and everyone remembers their manners. I feel like a superstar. Yesterday was not one of those days. Yesterday was the other kind of day.
Yesterday it was my turn to make the hour-long drive to the farm where my egg buying group gets their eggs. Did you know I had an egg-buying group? It’s something I stumbled on. The way it works is that there are seven of us, and we all get a certain number of eggs every two weeks. We buy enough eggs between us that we get a really good price on the eggs, which are free-range, organic and everything good. We take turns making the trip, so once every 14 weeks I have to go there, and the other weeks someone delivers eggs to my house, which is awesome.
Anyway, it was my week to go to the farm, and because it was Easter Monday, I had my kids with me. We set off in an easterly direction first thing, and I was totally patting myself on the back for getting everyone out of the house on time. They say pride goeth before a fall, so my smugness probably should have been a red flag, but I ignored it.
By the time that we reached the farm, my kids were bouncing off the walls in the back of the car. The weather was gorgeous and they wanted to run around. They chased the chickens while I loaded up the eggs and paid, but when it was time to get back in the car things turned. I was parked behind the farmer, blocking her in, and she had to leave. My kids weren’t coming when I called them. I had an unwelcome opportunity to engage in some challenging parenting in front of someone else. Not much fun.
Luckily, it didn’t take too long to get everyone buckled in, and we set off in the direction of home. My kids were still antsy, though, and there was a store in the area I’d been meaning to visit, so we decided to stop in to take a look around. When we got in the store, three-and-a-half-year-old Jacob took off. I kept an eye on him, and asked him to stay nearby, but I didn’t lay down the law too much because the store was empty and he was going to be sitting for a while. Things were mostly under control, but I didn’t freak out when he decided to take a little jog around the produce, with his sister not far behind.
Jacob announced that he loved the store, and things started to improve once we found some samples of handcrafted marshmallows. My kids at three each, and I looked the other way because I was choosing my cheese and they were being still and quiet. Then it was time to check out, and everything took a turn for the worse again.
Jacob didn’t want to leave the store. Jacob wanted more marshmallows. His big sister Hannah started yelling at him, in an effort to get him to stand still. It didn’t work, it only added to the volume level. Jacob wouldn’t hold my hand. Jacob wouldn’t stand beside me. As I tried to pay and wrangle two children, Jacob managed to knock over a large display basket full of baguettes in paper bags that were open on the end. All of that bread ended up on the floor, ruined, and unsaleable. And I hadn’t even managed to successfully pay yet.
Luckily, everyone was very nice about the fact that my child had ruined $30 worth of bread. They told me not to worry about it, and I managed to successfully finish my payment and take the walk of shame out of the store, while my preschooler loudly demanded to go back in and have more marshmallows. Because that’s what you do when you create chaos and drive your mother to tears – you ask for more marshmallows.
As I said, sometimes I take my kids out in public and everything is awesome. And sometimes we block someone in who wants to leave, eat more than our fair share of the treat samples, and leave the store in disarray as we walk out. Because that’s what being a parent is like.
Have you ever had to do the walk of shame with a child who has ruined a store, restaurant or other public place? I could use some commiseration!
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Today a friend and I decided to take our kids to the YMCA for a swim. First, they didn’t allow children in the women’s changing room, you have to go to a family changing room. Only they don’t have a door labeled that. You’re just expected to go in the special needs area. So my friend got fussed at and we had to haul all our stuff down to the other place. The pool was fun, but showering the kids off was horrific. I think the worst was Ivey (2) refusing to put her shoes on. I had to wrestle them onto her feet as she cried, all while holding a baby bag, a gym bag, a beach towel bundle of wet clothing, and my one-year-old. And everybody was cranky because we were hungry. Awful! Next time we’ve decided we’ll all just go home wet and take a bath.
Jenny’s last post … A heartbreaking but powerful Easter
Twitter: torturedpotato
says:
My kids would have done exactly the same thing because marshmallows Marshmallows. OMG. MARSHMALLOWS.
I spent so much time shopping at my 2-blocks-away Safeway with my kids in the double stroller that the first time I didn’t use the stroller, I was foolish enough to think I could just take them by the hand and walk to the store for some milk! Wait, you’re saying. Two kids. Two hands. What’s carrying the milk? Oh well, I’ll let go of the 4 year old, how much trouble could he get into? Reaching for an apple, knocking down four hundred other rolling apples? Oh! And where’s the two year old? Running for the exit..watch out for the old lady with the walker! And cranky businessguy. Definitely watch out for him.
I was SWEATING by the time we bought that damn milk. That’s when I started a) shopping alone on weekends b) bribing the children with the candy machines at the store exit. “If you follow me and do EXACTLY what I say, I’ll let you buy jellybeans.”
God I’m sweating just thinking about it.
I love the egg group idea. How brilliant is that.
Twitter: joyellebrandt
says:
We have had more than one episode in Thrifty’s, including one where Gabe laid face down, yelling and pounding his fists on the floor, in the checkout line. Some days…
Joyelle’s last post … Happy Easter!
And the killer is that I am working 10 times harder at being a good parent when my precious little ones are acting like a-holes then when they are being all cute and well behaved. And I _know_ I am being judged.
Oh my goodness. That sounds like an awful outing.
I have done the walk of shame many, many times with my almost-3-year-old daughter. She’s usually very sweet and well-behaved, but goes through serious limit-testing phases and often chooses to test her limits IN THE GROCERY STORE. When I was pregnant with her brother, she realized it was hard for me to forcibly get her in the cart, so she raised a big fuss about it every time and I kept leaving the supermarket nearly in tears. After a while, I stopped taking her, but sometimes you just need to run an errand. Thankfully, I think she’s passing out of this stage…but eventually her brother will probably be there, too. I feel for you.
Cate’s last post … Pursuing Happiness as a Mom of Two
Twitter: thejaninefowler
says:
My 18 month old has been causing his fair share of scenes lately. We mostly laugh and wrangle him (Much easier with two parents and one child), and hopefully our laughter indicates to the public that this behavior is out of the ordinary. Hopefully. I mean, it is really humorous when you have an arm wrapped around his waste and he’s slamming his body as hard as he can and getting absolutely nowhere. And I think that most people have kids or grandkids and understand. And the ones that don’t have kids yet, well, eff them, basically. It’s funny how you just stop caring what the people (who are exactly what YOU USED TO BE) think about you and your family, almost instantly after you become a parent.
Lately our issues have been the same as yours, centered around not wanting the fun to stop. Which means an awesome walk around the block (Perfect behavior, walking right beside us on the sidewalk! No baby leashes required), trip to the park, playing with balls inside Walmart or running wild around Ikea… all end in toddler screaming and subsequent parents screaming at each other due to the stress. Good thing we seem to forget about the ending when planning new outings or we would never leave the house.
Hannah trying to calm Jacob is a cute mental picture! But I’m not feeling great hearing about your crazed three year old when mine isn’t even two yet!!
Janine’s last post … Sebastian’s “first” Easter and making traditions
Twitter: kellynaturally
says:
Awww Amber, I’ve SO been there, SO many times.
If you managed to keep in together, you win, lady.
This parenting thing is HARD.
kelly @kellynaturally’s last post … Sunday Spark: Spring Break